The Addiction Healing Pathway

By Belinda Tobin

There is a path to heal from addiction, and a light to guide your way.

You can debate whether addiction is a choice, a disease or whether it is a mental illness. But there is one thing that cannot be contested. Addiction is a sign of great suffering. Somewhere, something triggers a person to embark on a path of self-destruction, and there are many casualties along the way.

So what is the cause of this suffering? Where did the war begin? If we can find the cause of the addiction, then we also have in our hands the seed of true healing. I know that each individual has their own unique struggles and traumatic stories to tell. However, through extensive research and analysis, I have found one common cause. With the help of ancient wisdom and modern neuroscience, I have identified the root cause of addiction. It all begins with a disconnection from our true and beautiful spirit. Our spirit is that part of us with no physical location, yet it is our very essence. It calls us to be the best that we can be and live a life sharing our talents and passions. Our spirit defines our true and awesome nature, and yet it is boundaryless and connects us intimately with the world around us.

When we deny or suppress our spirit, we begin a war with ourselves, and addiction, with all of its devastating physical and psychological consequences, is the result. The Addiction Healing Pathway presents this ground-breaking revelation. Still, more importantly, it provides a clear route back to the spirit to achieve real freedom from addiction and inspire you to live a life of love and joy.

The Addiction Healing Pathway walks you step-by-step through the journey of healing from addiction. It begins with addressing the physical wounds and the immediate needs to gain physical energy and thought clarity. Armed with these resources, the journey moves to challenge limiting beliefs and gain the courage you need to work with distressing emotions. All of these stages move you towards rediscovering the light that has always been there for you and will always be there for you – your spirit. It is a journey of courage and empowerment, teaching you how to reclaim the most important relationships – the connection with your true self.

It is time to stop wandering and take the road to find the real you.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Belinda Tobin
• Release date: Mar 17, 2022
• ISBN: 9781005989538

Belinda Tobin

I have spent the last twenty years helping shape the governance, strategy and performance systems for organisations worldwide. I did this through roles as a management consultant and manager in state government agencies. At the same time, though, I struggled with the pace, complexity and competing demands of this modern life. I learnt the brutal consequences of disconnecting from the spirit, succumbing to alcoholism and battling this for decades. Through a gruelling process of scientific and spiritual research and a dedication to self-compassion, I have found a way back to reconnect with the spirit, and it has to lead me to a new career as a writer.After years focused on business writing, I began expanding my skills as a ghost-writer. In this capacity, I have written ten non-fiction books covering body image, diet, mental models, neuroplasticity, entrepreneurship and habits.After all of this practice, I am now compelled to use my skills to advance my passions and ideas.My first book, The Addiction Healing Pathway, solves the problem of addiction and creates a guide for others struggling with addiction to substances or activities, their carers and treatment professionals. My blog, The Third Edge, investigates the dichotomies we experience in business and personal lives. It challenges us to find a third way. My next book (currently in progress) explores the beliefs and assumptions about monogamy and challenges the reader to build deeper and more honest personal relationships.And there is much more to come as I learn how to let my true spirit shine in this world!

Book preview

Dedication

To my Father, who never gave up on me – I send the deepest gratitude.

To Garreth, Clara and Evelyn – for your bravery and heart. I send my deepest apologies.

To all staff at Damascus Health Services. You are the giants whose shoulders this book stands upon.

And to all those struggling with or caring for those with addictions. My greatest wish is that this book may bring you some peace.

May you all come to know how much you are loved.

Back to Table of Contents

Important Note

This book should not be taken as medical advice. It is based on my own experience and opinion only. Always seek the guidance of your doctor or other qualified health professional with any questions you may have regarding your health or a medical condition. Never disregard the advice of a medical professional, or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this book. If anything in this book disturbs you, please reach out for help. There are so many amazing people out there who want to see you shine. A list of organisations that are there ready to answer your call is provided in Appendix A.

Back to Table of Contents

Introduction

One of the most traumatic times of my life was when I stood up in an AA meeting and said:

Hi, I'm Belinda, and I am an addict.

While yes, there was an initial sense of relief at admitting the truth, at the same time it was like all of the shame, guilt, fear, anger and pride I had ever felt came tumbling down upon me. Instead of being liberated by the admission, I was being suffocated by my distress. Hearing over and over again about what other people had lost added more rubble on top of my hurting heart, and there was no doubt about it, I was trapped in a deep dark cave.

After several years of digging deep within, I have found a light that was burning for me all along. A light that, once I found it, led me out into the sunshine. This light exists for you too. It is your spirit. We may not have had much awareness or control over how we got separated from our spirit. But now, with insight and courage, you sure have the power to begin the journey of reconnection, and the process of true healing. If I had my chance over again, and with the blessing of what I know now, here is how I would choose to introduce myself:

Hi, I am Belinda, and within me, I have an amazing spirit. I'm addicted to alcohol at the moment, but I am here to heal from this and let my spirit shine once again.

For me, these words hold great power, real courage, and have me crying – but they are not tears of despair; they are tears of joy. They are not tears of pain but tears of relief and hope. My greatest wish for you is that sometime soon, you also get to cry tears of joy and that this joy is founded upon true healing.

There is a path to heal from addiction, and a light to guide your way! The path is provided in this book – it is The Addiction Healing Pathway. The light has been there for you all this time, and it is your spirit. The Addiction Healing Pathway provides the steps for you to get back to this light, reconnect with your spirit, and let it shine in this world freely and powerfully. This book is here to support you as you move through the process of giving yourself permission to care for and nurture your body, mind and spirit. It is there to guide your journey to reclaim your power in this world and to live it freely.

As you will see, the Addiction Healing Pathway's fundamental premise is that addiction is caused by a separation from our unique and beautiful spirits. This disconnect creates an internal conflict that fuels distressing emotions, harmful thoughts, beliefs and behaviours. What begins as a spiritual crisis ends up as a war on your own body and mind, and there are many casualties. That the cause of addiction is a disconnect with your spirit is not my unique idea. For thousands of years before us, the wise ones have proclaimed the dangers of not being true to ourselves. For example, in the Gospel of Thomas, written almost 2000 years ago, we hear the following dire warning:

If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you. ~ Gospel of Thomas, Saying 70.

Almost 100 years ago, the poet Lucien Jacque voiced his concerns about the consequences of not expressing what is within you.

It is the always soul that dies first. Even if its departure goes unnoticed, and it always carries the body along with it. Humans are nourished by the invisible. We are nourished by that which is beyond the personal. We die by preferring its opposite. ~ Lucien Jacque (French poet)

And most recently, the work of Dr Richard Davidson and the Centre for Healthy Minds has used neuroscience to determine that a sense of purpose and meaning is a fundamental pillar of wellbeing. There is no doubt that a sense of meaning is almost impossible to find within the distress of addiction. But it is still there. The purpose of this book is to deliver a path back to this purpose, back to your spirit so that you can re-establish a relationship with it, care for it and bring it out into the world. As Thomas says, it allows your spirit to come forth into this world that will save you. As I prefer to say, it allows your spirit to shine that heals the wounds of addiction.

However, while this journey may appear simplistic, it does not mean that it is easy. There can be significant harm done by the addiction to your body, thoughts and emotions. I truly believe that these need to be cared for first to provide the energy, clarity and courage you need to do the deep spiritual work. Here is why:

Brain: the behaviours of addiction become hard-wired into the brain and damage the centres that allow us to choose what we do. Healing needs to begin here to build new and healthy pathways in the brain and repair any injury done to the brain due to the addiction. Then you can begin to think more clearly and to start making good decisions again.

Body: at the very least, addiction may have resulted in a vitamin deficiency or malnutrition. At the very worst, you may be headed into a new battle of brain disease or cancers. There is no doubt that for everyone, the body takes a great toll from addiction. It does just depend on what end of the scale your injuries lie. The body's repair and nurturing are necessary to provide the energy to begin and sustain the healing journey.

Thoughts: It is no use building your brain and body for a great expedition if you believe you are bound to fail. For what we believe to be true will become our truth. That is why, when the mind is clearer, and we have sufficient energy, we need to turn our attention to our thoughts. The most important thoughts are beliefs, and these are what we hold to be true, even if there is no evidence. We need to uncover and challenge those that are holding us back from healing.

Emotions: emotions are the key driver for action. Distressing emotions can begin a downward spiral that leads to further self-harming behaviours and therefore, even more, distressing emotions. But every emotion we have is also giving us a message. It is calling us to learn and grow, and once we know the language that emotions are speaking, we can tap into their wisdom. No longer do emotions become an enemy on the path; they become a true and trusted ally for our healing journey. Because when we can successfully navigate such emotions as fear, shame, and guilt, we can find the courage to meet and be true to our amazing spirit.

Spirit: each of us has gifts, talents, passions and energy that are unique in this world. When these are recognised, appreciated and lived, we have a sense of meaning and purpose, and we can live in peace. When these are hidden, denied or actively opposed the war with the self begins. We begin to think we are faulty, and with this belief begins a pattern of self-destruction. If we think we are wrong, broken, weird, defective or damaged, then we begin to treat ourselves as such. However, if we see and love the person we are within, then this love will shine through into a life of self-compassion and self-care.

So, while I believe addiction is driven from a disconnect with your spirit, I feel the brain and body's physical elements need to be treated first. The physical limitations of illness, fuzzy thinking and lack of energy will restrict our ability to move forward. Strength, clarity of thought and positive energy are required to deal with the subtle belief barriers and negative thoughts that may keep us stuck. They are also needed to dig deep to find the confidence and courage to be true to ourselves and contribute to something bigger than ourselves.

However, these thoughts and the tools provided in this book are not just created from my ideas. They are based on the wisdom of both ancient and modern philosophers, scientists, soul connectors, prophets, psychoanalysts and healers. Specifically, the techniques for spirit connection comes from ancient Tibetan and Shamanistic healing practices. The approach to thoughts and emotions comes from the school of cognitive behavioural therapy. The information on the role of the brain in addiction is supported with the latest findings from neuroscience. So, The Addiction Healing Pathway is not just my view of the process. It is based on the knowledge and experience gained over thousands of years about how our bodies and minds work and our spirit's great power. It is with great humility but also with great excitement that I pass this wisdom on to you.

Just one more important note before you embark on the great adventure is The Addiction Healing Pathway. This book is not intended to be a textbook. It is not here as a rigid map of the specific steps you need to take one by one to heal from addiction. This book is here as a guide only. Take what is right for you at the moment, leave what is not. Experiment, see what works and feel empowered to try new things along the way. You are an individual with the most amazing and unique spirit. For this reason, your path to healing will also be unique. This book's whole point is to find what is true for you, so please use the information within as a starting point for your authentic adventure.

I know your road so far has been paved with so much trauma, so much hurt and so much loss. I know you have cried so many tears of hopelessness and pain. I also know there will be many more to come. But I do also know, deep down in my own heart, if you travel The Addiction Healing Pathway, someday soon there will also be tears of joy. I am feeling them well in my eyes now thinking of you reading this book because I know what is in store for you. You are so incredible, so powerful and so beautiful, and so very worthy of love. I hope that this book helps you come to know these things for yourself.

May you too come to cry tears of joy.

Back to Table of Contents

Chapter 1 – What Is Addiction?

Addiction is grieving for the person who has been lost, hating the person you have become and feeling powerless to change. ~ Belinda Tobin

What Is Addiction?

Gosh, it would be nice to be able to give you an absolute answer to this. I wish there were one consistent understanding across medical and social communities that could focus policy and treatment approaches. However, when you delve into the world of addiction, you find there are many different perspectives. Each are informed from very different levels of personal experience and areas of specialty. While I am sure that each area is seeking the best for those with addiction, this separation of effort is certainly not helpful for the:

240 million people across the world suffering from alcohol use disorder

1 billion people on this planet addicted to tobacco

15 million people across our communities who inject unsanctioned drugs

1.5% of the world's population addicted to gambling (representing 5 million people in the US alone) [1].

Even more alarmingly, the kinds of things people are addicted to are expanding. It was reported in 2017, that an estimated 18 million people (more than 6 per cent of those aged 12 and older) misused prescription medications such as opioids, sedatives or stimulants [2]. Reports are also being published about addictions to sex and food.

In 2019, the World Health Organization (WHO) included gaming disorder in its official list of addictions and countries across the world responded to the alarming rise of internet addiction. In 2019 the UK's first internet-addiction clinic opened and several opened in the United States. In the United States, it is estimated 8% of the population is addicted to the internet. This means that over 26 million people struggle to balance between living in the real world and the world of social media, internet shopping, and gaming.

But it gets even worse. The age of addiction is decreasing dramatically. In South Korea alone, it is reported that there are at least 160,000 children aged 5 to 9 who are addicted to the internet. In Japan, there are an estimated 500,000 children aged from 12 to 18 who are addicted. And in China, approximately 10% 0r 14.5 million teenagers meet internet addiction criteria [3].

The general definition of being addicted is being

Physically and mentally dependent on a particular substance.[4]

But it appears from the above information that we can now expand this definition of addiction to include a substance and an activity. People now are not only diagnosed with addictions to substances such as alcohol, tobacco, opioids, prescription medication, and illicit drugs, they are also found to be addicted to every day activities such as eating, sex and the internet.

Current Viewpoints on Addiction

What the hell is going on? I thought we were meant to be the smart species. The more things we create, the more things we are creating to become addicted to. It seems like everything we develop to either provide enjoyment or reduce suffering is becoming in itself a tool of pain and suffering. More importantly, why as we get cleverer scientifically, medically and technologically, are we seeing the increase in addiction? It surely suggests we are missing a fundamental part of the addiction picture. The current approaches to addiction must be incomplete in some way.

To understand more, let's look at the most prevalent models of addiction. I know this may be a bit boring, but if you are a loved one is going through treatment for addiction, it is really important to know the view that the people who are helping you have. Their view of what addiction is will determine the program they are recommending. Or, if you are still yet to seek professional help, it will you be a more informed consumer of the many addiction services and treatments available out there.

Addiction is a Choice

I wanted to address this view of addiction first as it is the most controversial. There are many people out there who see continued substance use as a selfish choice. After all, it is not like cancer that is thrust upon a person. Addiction stems from the person's own actions and despite destructive consequences, they continue to consume the substance or undertake the activity.

The definition of choice is

an act of choosing between two or more possibilities.[5]

As an observer, it would appear that a person can select to drink or not to drink; to buy the cigarettes, or not to buy the cigarettes; to pop the pill, or not to pop the pill; to pick up the device or to walk away from the device. Certainly, this was the viewpoint of Victor Frankl (psychiatrist and holocaust survivor) when he said:

Between the stimulus and the response is a space, and in that space is your power and your freedom.

This quote is so powerful and incredibly inspirational but does not relate to addiction's physical realities. As we will see, when we begin to discuss addiction as a brain disease, behaviours become hard-wired in the brain. At this point, they become automatic and subconscious. As a result, Victor Frankl mentions this space either ceases to exist or becomes so marginal that it is almost invisible. It is not only the mind that desires what the substance or activity delivers, but the body and brain have become dependent upon it.

I think it is very difficult for anyone who has not experienced addiction to understand the pull, the craving, the obsession that becomes ingrained in the body and brain. But even more so the desire from the heart for relief from both mental pain and physical anguish.

This situation is shown wonderfully in the movie 'Pleasure Unwoven' by Dr Kevin McCauley[6]. The addict is at the bar about to drink some whiskey. Before he has a chance to get it to his lips, another man confronts him and tells him that if he does drink the whiskey, he will get shot. Anyone in their right mind would, of course, put the drink down, walk away and save their lives. But for the addict, there is a sinister dilemma. The desire for a drink is so strong that the addict wonders if there is any chance he could get the drink down before getting shot. Of course, then the thoughts arise that maybe the shooter won't follow through, and if he complied, he would miss out on the chance for a drink. Or maybe the guy is a bad shot, and perhaps a bullet wound is worth the reward of that drink.

For any objective observer, this thought pattern is screwed up. Yet, it shows just how much the cognitive function is compromised when a person is in an addictive condition. In addiction the brain's circuits that normally help us make good choices and exert our free will don't function like they should. The space no longer exists to make logical decisions [7]. As Professor Marc Lewis describes it:

You can't think about tomorrow or next week. You've lost the idea of yourself being on a line that extends from the past into the future. You're just drawn into this vortex that is the now.[8]

Despite the evidence showing that for addicts, the choice function is compromised, some people cling to the notion that addiction is simply a selfish choice. They think that all this talk about brain science is an excuse to continue selfish and self-destructive behaviour. And this is the downside I see to this approach. Seeing addiction as a choice implies that addicts have less moral fibre and character strength than those who are not exhibiting addictive behaviour. It suggests that addicts are weak and selfish. These judgements on a person do nothing but keep a person down in despair and hopelessness. I have felt this despair directly. I lived in constant shame and guilt for being unable to put my children before my substance. No punishment that anyone else could ever deliver would be as bad as the hatred I felt for myself. I convinced myself I was a bad person and did not deserve any happiness. However, as soon as I understood the more about the damage done to the choice centres in my brain, I began to release the burden of self-hatred. I had a clearer picture of what I needed to do to heal and to make better choices once again. I was able to focus my energy away from self-flagellation and towards self-care and healing.

The only benefit to the view of addiction as a choice is how it instils a sense of personal power and responsibility. This is an incredibly important part of healing, but only when the person is physically and mentally able to take on this responsibility. You wouldn't expect someone just recovered from cancer to get out and run a marathon. So, in the same way, you wouldn't expect someone who's decision-making ability has been compromised to be able to make great decisions immediately! I see a time and a place and some benefit to the choice model, but I don't see it as the first step in treating addiction. My reasons for this view will become more apparent through the following discussions of addiction as a disease and mental disorder.

Addiction is a Chronic Brain Disease

The great news for the treatment of addiction is that there is an overwhelming consensus that addiction:

Is a function of brain activity; and

Creates changes in the brain.

While the actual interplay of hormones and circuitry in the brain is very complex, addiction, very simply is encouraged by the 'feel-good' hormone dopamine and becomes hard-wired into the brain through neuroplasticity.

I will go more into the brain's impact in Chapter 4, but for now, here is my very basic explanation of the brain science. When you do something that gives you a good feeling, the brain's dopamine system is turned on and remembers the pleasure. Humans are pleasure-seeking creatures, and so our brains want us to repeat the pleasurable activity. Therefore, it will release the hormone dopamine again as a motivator to get you to do the same activity. The more you repeat the activity, the stronger the behavioural connections become in the brain. If the activity continues to be repeated, then it gets hard-wired in the brain. Through an effect called automaticity, you are soon doing this activity without even thinking about it.

Take my example of alcohol consumption. A drink at night-time when the kids went to bed would create a wonderful sense of relaxation. It was not long before the brain was suggesting a drink before the kids went to bed. Why wait for the stress relief? Get it now! Each night having a drink turned into each afternoon, and only drinking on weekends turned into drinking each day. The trigger was the desire to feel relaxed. My response of drinking was repeated and so the behaviour became hard-wired in the brain. I had used alcohol initially to protect me from stress, but due to repetition, the substance that was initially my protector turned into my captor. The thing that had once supported me had now enslaved me.

As time went on, I developed a tolerance to the alcohol, which meant I needed to consume more to get the same effect. The glass became a bottle. The wine became spirits. The dopamine was still urging me to seek relaxation, but the brain and body needed more to get the same result. So, the fact was changes were occurring in my brain that were reinforcing and escalating my addiction. This is the reason that some people see addiction as a brain disease.

The definition of a disease is:

A disorder of structure or function in a human that produces specific symptoms or that affects a specific location and is not simply a direct result of physical injury.[9]

In the case of addiction as a chronic brain disease, it is argued that the:

Specific location in the brain;

Disorder is the associated neurobiological changes in the brain that reduce choice and create dependence; and

The symptoms of the disease are craving and withdrawal.

I was first introduced the disease model during one of my inpatient stays in rehab through the movie I referred to previously called Pleasure Unwoven. This short film presents a wonderful insight into how the brain changes through addiction, and how addiction can be classified as a disease. After watching this movie, I was so very relieved. It was like thinking of addiction as a disease had taken a huge burden off my shoulders. I was not a bad person; I had a brain disease!

This is one of the real benefits of the disease approach to addiction. It certainly does take away some of the stigma, but more importantly judgement associated with addiction. It also allows you to get some personal distance from the addiction – I am not addicted; my brain is.! I know it sounds a bit silly, but when you are in the throes of the trauma and shame that comes with addiction, any distance and perspective is helpful.

This view also helps focus efforts and energy on healing. Instead of dwelling on past mistakes it is easier to look forward and ask - so what do I have to do to get my brain better?

Thinking of addiction as a disease also helped me understand the role of medication. Knowing the extent of chemical and structural damage done to the brain, I could appreciate that at least in the short-term, people might need some medication to restore proper balance and function – to 'speed up' if you like the brain's repair process. Medication can help you reduce stress during the withdrawal process, remove the pleasure reward from the substance, and make you physically ill if you take a substance. Some people get great benefit from medication, and it becomes an integral part of their treatment. It is not so simple for others. They can either give up on the potential benefits of medication or spend months experimenting with varieties and doses to get a positive outcome. Medication, like the person taking it, is very individual.

In the United States, there is no system of free or subsidised health care. To be covered by health insurance, there needs to be a definable illness. Having addiction defined as a chronic brain disease is essential to enable access to assistance by the millions of Americans battling with addiction. I don't see the issue with it being called a disease if it means people get the help they need.

So there are many benefits to seeing addiction as a brain disease. But as I continued through my healing journey, more questions started to be raised. Why doesn't medication alone 'fix' the disease? Isn't there a surgical option or a way to zap or disable the faulty wiring? Oh yes, there were many days of desperation when I would have quite happily succumbed to a good dose of electric shock therapy to get this thing over with. I am