The Promise Tested

By Dr. Marva Brewington

When we got married 30 years ago, we made traditional vows: "I, Marva, take thee, Stan to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and obey, 'til death do us part, according to God's holy law." Little did we know, our marriage woul

• Language: English
• Publisher: Marva Brewington
• Release date: Dec 2, 2021
• ISBN: 9798985298314

Book preview

Prologue

KEEPING IT 100

Let’s keep it 100, my life as a wife has been a blessing, but I would be remiss if I did not say that it has not always been a walk in the park. I would love to be able to tell you that marriage was easy from the beginning. It would be nice if I could tell you that when you marry the man who God has ordained for you, then you will be sipping tea and gathering rosebuds for the rest of your life. Wouldn’t it be great if I could tell you that the secret for any believer would be to marry another believer, and then your marriage would survive the test of time? However, if I told you those things, then this book would be all fluff; and I would be a liar, arrogant, and full of deceit. That’s just not the reality of how marriage works. The truth is that yes, being Christ-centered and marrying another believer is important; but this is only the foundation – marriage is hard work and commitment. This is truly the place where a promise is tested.

Let me give you an illustration of a physical home to help you understand this concept more clearly. When a house is built from the ground up, you have what is called footings and foundations. A footing is important because it is what anchors the house to the ground and supports the foundation. A foundation then becomes your starting point. It is the building block by which everything else is constructed. If you attempt to build a home on a foundation that is not structurally sound, it will not withstand the pressure applied to it as the home is being built. The house will not be able to stand strong. A home is only as good as its foundation, and for any home to last for 15+ years, it must be built on a solid foundation.

Jesus said these words one time when ministering to the multitude: "Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it." (Matthew 7:24-27 ESV) I love this scripture for its illustration of a true and solid foundation. We can apply this scripture to marriage, but I hope you caught in your hearing what makes for a solid foundation. The foundation is sure with Christ because he is our rock, but we need the footing – the anchor, which is the word of God applied to our marriage to keep it grounded. As Jesus implied and as confirmed in James 1:22, "We must be doers of the word, and not just hearers" (KJV). Without your marriage being first built upon a solid foundation (Christ and the Word applied), then the possibility of it crumbling is great.

My purpose in writing this book is not to play a marriage doctor by any means, or that I have it all figured out, or even that I have the secret to marital success. Not at all! Even as the Bible indicates in 1 Peter 4:12, we will experience different fiery trials that will test us, and my marriage was no different – it had to be tested and tried by fire. Yet, I sincerely pray that through my complete transparency about some of my pitfalls, you will discover that no marriage is foolproof. It takes work, dedication, and a true commitment to your vows.

When we got married 30 years ago, we made traditional vows:

I, Marva, take thee, Stan to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and obey, 'til death do us part, according to God's holy law.

When we made this vow, Stan and I made a commitment before God that we took seriously. We made a solemn promise to each other, but when I tell you that we were tested on every aspect of this vow, we were! – For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. Many have argued against using these traditional vows because they felt they were old-fashioned and antiquated but having endured