Um ...
By ellie phant
()
About this ebook
"'Um ...', an entertaining collection of poems by Ellie. From meetings with Yahtzee-playing aliens to dogs with detachable velcro opposable thumbs, you are transported into Ellie's Phantasy World. Her shaped poems are outrageously humorous and designed with witty illustrations." Diane Scott, Books from the Valley.
"Ellie Phant's joyfully anarchic style sticks two fingers up at overly moralistic views of human habits and delivers a bundle of belly laughs spiked with insight." Sarah McIntosh.
ellie phant
Ellie Phant lives in a caravan in a field full of horses. Every morning she opens the door to see a line of patient equines telepathing FEED ME. Which she does. Because they are helping her to become an international showjumper before she is 60 years of age. Gosh! Imagine that!
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Um ... - ellie phant
Welcome to my world ...
Did you know that during the period from 1520 to 1630 there were over 30,000 werewolf trials in France alone? How mad is that!
I blame the bread, of course. If you will be poor and eat rye bread then what do you expect? Honestly. Was no-one sensible in those days?
If you absolutely have to give yourself ergot poisoning and run around like a maniac, thinking the tingly burny sensations in your extremities and scalp mean you are changing into a wolf-type being who can bite through the world then at least have sense enough to do