Scattered Lights in the Darkness

By Alexandra R. LaFlam

This book is a journey of what it's like to be in active addiction with untreated mental health issues in Vancouver, BC, Canada where we are experiencing a public health emergency due to a opioid crisis. It's an insight of what it's like to wait for a bed at a rehabilitation facility, what it's like having no fixed address and going through the food bank to get my meals, what it's like accepting the life inside institutionalized facilities, and finally, what it's like to live a life in early recovery.

My Chapbook is a curation of my personal narrative poetry including a preamble about where I was then and where I am nearly 10 years later after working on my mental health.

All poems have been performed as spoken word poetry originally and it's been an all time dream of mine to self publish the blood, sweat, and tears of my recovery. I hope what you read helps you understand the mindset and challenges of being in active addiction. There is so much social stigma and it needs to end. The only way it can truly end though is by educating others. So if you're reading this, but you haven't experienced mental health and addiction issues, I hope this book gave you a little perspective of what it's like in the cities jungle.

Thank you for reading about my life story!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Alexandra R. LaFlam
• Release date: Nov 19, 2021
• ISBN: 9781777995300

Alexandra R. LaFlam

My name is Alexandra R. LaFlam and I've had a rollercoaster of a life to say the least. My goal is to raise awareness of mental health and addictions through my narrative poetry.

Book preview

Trigger Warning

Although I love the opportunity to share my poems, I do still recognize that this material may be triggering for some (it’s even triggering for myself at times too).

It’s okay to take breaks while reading this book to ground yourself if you find that you’re flooded with emotion. Take a few deep cleansing breaths, put this book down, and tell your mind that you are safe in this moment.

If at any point you are feeling triggered or suicidal, please refer to the end of the book where I have listed some local resources that may be of help to you in the moment.

Please be kind to yourselves!

Book Dedications

I would like to dedicate this book to SO many people who have helped me along my nearly 10 year recovery journey! I’m so proud of all the others out there that are fighting the same fight. It doesn’t matter whether you’re reading this in a detox/rehab facility, curious about entering recovery, or comfortable at home and everything in between. Regardless of where you are when reading this book, I want you all to know that, I may not know you personally, but I’m proud of you!

First and foremost, I’d like to thank the two most important women in my life. My mother and my partner. I appreciate that the two of you consistently remind me of my strength and resilience to keep fighting the daily fight of my mental health and trauma challenges. You’re my rays of sunshine in a very dark world. My love for both of you is endless and unconditional.

I’d like to individually thank my two older brothers. You both did your best to protect me when I was growing up. I am grateful to of had you as my brother’s and I’m proud of your continued inner growth.

Also, a big shout out to the Vancouver Detox Centre, Three Bridges VAMP Program, Pacifica Treatment Center, Belkin House, Vancouver Rape Relief, SHARP Legal, Atira Women’s Resource Society, SMART Recovery, MPA Society, the Access and Assessment Center, the SAFER program, and Yoga Outreach. You’ve all had a hand in contributing to keeping me alive. Especially my prior counselor, Stacy Folk for being the good influence I needed at the right time 9 years ago. You helped me see what trauma informed therapy is supposed to look like. Thank you for being an inspiration during my recovery journey!

And finally, I’d like to dedicate a part of this book to my late father. I wish you were still alive to read this book. I miss you tremendously still and my heart breaks every day that you’ve been apart from me. Until we meet again one day in the waves of Long Beach where you were