Secondary Survivors

By Namid

Namid, author of To Dance Amongst the Stars and A Guide to Survivorhood, explores the tools and techniques to assist loved ones, colleagues, and friends in dealing with the aftermath

• Language: English
• Publisher: VanillaHeart
• Release date: Jun 14, 2009
• ISBN: 9781452305264

Namid

Author Namid is the founder of The R.A.P.E Foundation, working to bring peace and healing to survivors of sexual abuse, rape, incest, emotional abuse and to help the people they love understand and support survivors around the world.Namid says:I founded The R.A.P.E. Foundation in the hopes to help other rape, incest, sexual abuse, and sexual assault survivors. After having lived through it for the majority of my life, I knew there had to be a greater purpose to all that I had endured. I hope each and every day that using my story as the basis for The R.A.P.E. Foundation, other survivors can be inspired and healed. If we all reach out to just one person, we can have a tremendous impact on our world!The R.A.P.E. Foundation, and www.rapehelp.org are a non-profit organization dedicated to assisting rape, sexual assault, and incest survivors, regardless of age, gender, sexual orientation, creed, ethnicity/country of origin or any other possibly discriminating factor. The Foundation will help survivors through such medias as-Financial support through donations received-Emotional support through counseling, workshops, books, CDs, DVDs, and more.-Recovery support through assistance with job placement, donations of clothing, computers and computer parts, vehicles, etc.-Education and Prevention of rape, sexual assault and incest by lectures, workshops, public media attention, teaching self-protection classes, speaking at schools, advocating for survivors in hospitals, courts, and more.The ultimate goal of the R.A.P.E. Foundation and rapehelp.org is to assist and empower as many rape and incest survivors as possible, and to help educate the general public about rape/incest/sexual assault in order to create a significant social change regarding these issues.I am proud to say, that The R.A.P.E. Foundation is affiliated with over 300 organizations and individuals around the globe, including RAINN, The Lamplighters, Perverted Justice, and more. We support and advocate for many people across the country. My small dream is turning into an international reality.

Book preview

Secondary Survivors

by

Namid

Vanilla Heart Publishing

USA

Secondary Survivors

Copyright 2008 Namid

Published by:

Vanilla Heart Publishing

www.vanillaheartbooksandauthors.com

10121 Evergreen Way, 25-156

Everett, WA 98204 USA

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system without written permission from the publisher, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.

ISBN: 978-0-9821150-2-2

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 First Edition

First Printing, September 2008

Printed in the United States of America

Secondary Survivors

by

Namid

Acknowledgements

As a survivor, it took me a long time to realize just how much my experience was affecting others. As I have gotten older, and progressed in my healing, I have learned that I was not the only one affected by my abuse. It is with this new found wisdom that I take a moment to acknowledge a few people.

First off, my Uncle Ed, to whom this book is dedicated. When he learned of my abuse as a child, he wept. For the first time, I saw that my pain and suffering had impacted someone else. His love and concern for me is more than appreciated, hence this dedication.

For my mother and her parents, who suffered through PTSD with me before any of us fully understood the disease or how it affected us, or why I was suffering from it. They showed tremendous patience and selflessness in dealing with my PTSD from childhood onward. It is for them that I wrote this book, knowing that they suffered as much as I did.

For all of my friends, family, loved ones. For people who have seen the best and worst of me as a result of my PTSD and my experiences. There is no way that I could have survived without everyone in my life. And since you have all been so wonderful, caring and supportive, I know that you are all as touched by my experiences as I have been. You are all truly secondary survivors. Thank you all so much for everything!!

And thank you to organizations like RAINN and the YWCA, for giving support, care, and hope to survivors everywhere 24/7. Your endless dedication, tireless work, and endless compassion have helped countless people. Thank you for all that you do!

Dedication

For my great-uncle, Ed. A greater uncle, I could not have asked for. I love you, and always will.

Survivors

Friends, family members, spouses and loved ones of rape, incest, sexual abuse and sexual assault survivors are often the most over-looked, and yet profoundly affected people by these heinous crimes. Sometimes referred to as secondary survivors, these people often suffer as much as their loved one, but their pain often goes unnoticed.

I look at all my friends and family and see how they are affected by my past. My behavior, my Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, my emotional issues all played out in front of them, and in some cases, even included them. If you are a loved one of a survivor, it is your turn to heal. You have pain as well, and the time has come to address your pain, and your specific personal issues regarding your loved-one’s assault.

When someone survives an assault, there is a loss. In a way, a death has occurred. Call it a death of innocence, a death of safety, or whatever fits your particular situation, there has been a death. In order to TRULY heal, you must allow yourself to grieve. Just as friends and family members mourn together at funerals, or during the time of Shiva in the Jewish tradition, so must we all come together and mourn what was suffered.