A Child of Divorce: (With Optional Christian Study for Youth Groups)

By Laura J. Plummer

We didn’t choose this mess. You did.
This is one child’s journey through the ugliness of divorce. Written for the child going through the divorce of their parents and for the parents that forget there is a child in this divorce.
The author shares memories that will make you smile and some that may break your heart. All of them are written in these pages to bring you hope and let you know you are not alone. Assurance that there is something better after the struggles, and that you will survive if you choose to.
Read through these pages to find your story and your hope. Share with others that may be seeking strength through their own personal struggles. Believe that no matter how dark it may seem, your future can be full of promise and hope.
Thank you for coming with me on this journey.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Nov 3, 2021
• ISBN: 9781665539920

Laura J. Plummer

Born in Manhattan, New York City, NY, this author lived in Yonkers, New York before moving to Lafayette, California. Other states that Laura Plummer has lived through her life are New Jersey, Mississippi, Connecticut, New Mexico, and Texas. The author attended the College of Santa Fe in Santa Fe, New Mexico where she earned a Bachelor o Accountancy degree. She and her husband of 37 years currently live in El Paso, Texas. They have a daughter and son, both still living in Texas also. She has six brothers, 5 living and one deceased, and three sisters. They have been scattered from coast to coast, each seeking their own path in the best way each knows how. Ms. Plummer was the Youth Director for eight years at Christ Community UMC and is currently a member of the Praise & Worship group for St. Mark’s UMC. Her passion for the youth of this country overwhelms her heart to where the pain of sharing her personal story of struggle is more important than to avoid the pain of telling it.

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© 2021 Laura J. Plummer. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 10/25/2021

ISBN: 978-1-6655-3984-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6655-3992-0 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Introduction

A Time of Laughter

Handle with Care

Let’s Take a Look

Heart to Heart

Time to Move On

Anger

Another Start

Miracles

Betrayal

Choices

Still Standing

Christian Study for Youth Groups

Acknowledgements

If it were not for the power of the Holy Spirit on the keyboard as I typed, none of this would be on the written page. To God, I give all the glory and praise.

A special thanks to:

Punkin, (Granny’s special Doodle Bug) the first guinea pig and biggest beat of my heart. Thanks for giving a teenager’s perspective to a difficult story to share.

My test readers, Cindy, Chris & Joel, Lucy (my woo), and Shawn. Frances, how can I ever say enough for your divinely inspired guidance to take this passion to the next level?

The crazy youth group of Christ Community UMC who filled my heart with belief that all young people are worth loving and getting to know.

The two men in my life, my wonderful husband and precious son. You wondered if I had gone crazy when I decided to write a book but loved me anyway.

Dork 1 – thank you for being God’s messenger and letting me know He says It’s time.

To say that God works in mysterious ways would be very cliché if it were not 110% true. To my childhood best friend and her new husband, thank you for your guidance and understanding of where I am trying to go with this project.

This book is dedicated to:

My mom, to some known as The Mother, who loved with all her heart the best she knew how in a time when being a single mom was horribly misunderstood. I love you so very much, but now being a mom, I know that you loved me more. Despite our struggles, you opened our home to so many that had no family to share. Your heart is immeasurable and has surely offered you a special place in heaven. We will all miss you terribly.

Introduction

This book is being written by an adult that was once a child of divorce. It is not being represented as if I were a PhD, MD, DDS, or any other lettering for specialized knowledge on any particular topic. I am not, and this is not.

This is written from my perspective. What I remember. How I felt. Where I am today because of, and in spite of, what childhood divorce has to offer.

Parents, if you should find this book lying around on more than one occasion, do your child a favor. Read it. Take note of any particular page that may be marked, turned to, or maybe even dog-eared. Despite our desire to have open and loving communication with our child, at some point this unintentional messiness is the only form left. It’s safe, and it’s from the heart. Part of our communication as parents and/or adults is listening when no words are spoken.

To the reader of this book, yes, you; the lost, empty, frustrated person that had the opportunity to be the victim of an adult struggle or at least believe that you are. Read with an understanding heart. Your parents are not perfect. They were not born from Superman and Lois Lane. Believe in your heart that your parents’ love for each other was strong enough to stand before witnesses and perhaps God, and commit to love, honor, and cherish until parted by death. That’s a pretty powerful love, and if you allow yourself to accept that this love did exist at one time, your part in the understanding process will be easier.

For those of you considering divorce and the effects it may have on your child, read on. This book portrays one adult’s remembrance of the emotions, turmoil, and end rewards from having been on the side of the fence you are now looking over. Am I encouraging your next move over the fence? Absolutely not! But, do I understand that there are times and situations where every other avenue has been ventured down, every other alternative considered and investigated, and every single shred of hope dashed by the emptiness in your heart that no balm, salve, counseling, or spiritual guidance has even begun to heal? Yes.

To all others who may flip through these pages with curiosity, get a little more curious. For any of us that are blessed with adolescent guests in our lives and homes, or who may someday have one or more of these wonderful visitors, or who perhaps was a young person once yourself, or who is currently an amazing young person: within these covers are struggles, experiences, and joys that may enlighten the world where you live with a still-maturing adolescent’s point of view, perhaps a thought not yet considered, or perhaps a kindred spirit reaching out to soothe and comfort where nothing or no one has reached before.

Finally, I beg of each and every one of you having read this far and now perhaps further into these pages, understand the views and words lain before you are a journey into the heart and soul of the writer. It is an experience remembered and now shared with you. For the most part, these stories and thoughts will be from the child’s point of view with forever wise 20/20 hindsight. That is the main purpose