Men Rising: The Healthy Masculine

By Alyssa Ditch

What does it mean to be masculine? These eleven men thought they knew, following in the footsteps of their fathers, marching to society’s drumbeat of manhood: A man is strong. A man doesn’t cry. A man is the provider. A man does it alone… in the course of their lives, each of these very different men found this same rigid idea of manhood standing between them and their happiness. Standing between them and being a fully realized man. Standing between them and their relationships. Standing between them and their heart’s path. Instead of building them up and making them stronger, they found themselves chained and isolated by these standards of masculinity.

In these soulful interviews conducted by intuitive healer and author Alyssa Ditch, these eleven men candidly share their ascent into becoming real men: from heartache to healing, failure to triumph. Join her, as she dives into the hearts of these eleven brave men to understand how these fully-realized men had cast away society’s limitations on ‘masculinity’, rising to become better men for themselves, their families, and their communities. Learn the tools and techniques that worked for each of them on their journey to self-discovery. Be inspired by the example they set for all men, as it makes us think anew… ‘What is healthy masculinity?’

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Sep 21, 2021
• ISBN: 9781982273651

Alyssa Ditch

Alyssa Ditch is an intuitive healer, dancer, mother, and author. Her writing sheds light on the Spiritual at work in our everyday lives. Her words inspire readers with positive energy towards their own personal transformations. Her other works are available at www.alyssaditch.com.

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Copyright © 2021 Alyssa Ditch.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Balboa Press

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844-682-1282

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Cover photo credit to Don Macavoy

Headshot credit to Cathy Hewitt

Editor Richard Robbins

ISBN: 978-1-9822-7364-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-7366-8 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-7365-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021919123

Balboa Press rev. date: 09/16/2021

CONTENTS

Chapter 1 The Men

Chapter 2 Healing

Chapter 3 What inspires you to ‘do the work’?

Chapter 4 What does the work of healing look like for you?

Chapter 5 What ails you?

Chapter 6 What is vital to your joy?

Chapter 7 As a man, are there emotions you are not allowed or free to feel?

Chapter 8 What advice do you have for men who feel broken?

Chapter 9 What advice do you have for women about men?

Chapter 10 What role does intuition play in healing and being your authentic self?

Chapter 11 The Healthy Masculine

Acknowledgements

Everyone has a different level of comfort

when it comes to sharing.

So while some of the men’s names have been changed

the heartfelt messages remain the same.

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THE MEN

One of the men is age eighty-two, another just eleven.

The rest are in between their twenties and sixty-seven.

Four divorced, four married and three of them are single.

One divorced, remarried and doesn’t prefer to mingle.

Two are gay, nine are straight and most still have their hair.

Six are dads, one’s a grand and skin ranges from dark to fair.

The differences between these men are of no concern.

For each has much to teach and we a lot to learn.

My favorite thing about these men and I imagine you’ll agree:

Courageous souls, shining hearts and sweet humility.

E leven men in total. I love the number eleven. It is symbolic of Angels to me, of higher guidance at work. I have no doubt this endeavor was guided by something greater than me. A collaboration of many great entities at work.

This project came about because I honored my intuition. I started noticing some men in my life posting things on social media that really resonated with me. I began to see how the vibration of the men around me was shifting. Men seemed to be more accountable, more humble, more impeccable. There were certain men in my life who just felt different to me…a little softer, a little more present, a little more connected, yet still strong and masculine. I knew that there was a reason I was noticing these things. I knew there was something I was meant to do with this information coming in.

As I allowed myself permission to imagine how this could develop, I started to see myself interviewing men. That was a definite yes in my mind. What I would do with that information was beyond me. I thought maybe a video montage or a series or something. I knew that I didn’t need to know. The end result didn’t matter. I knew that I just needed to take one step in that direction. I didn’t need to have the full view or end goal in mind to walk my path. This felt right. It was in harmony with my purpose. I felt I was unveiling a new layer of me and my purpose. It felt really good.

RAJESH

So without further knowledge about anything, I trusted. I trusted that intuition so completely that I decided I’d reach out to a perfect stranger who I just had a good feeling about. Before making contact with him, I asked Spirit, please give me a sign that I should reach out this total stranger for an interview. I then decided I’d have a look at his Facebook page. He was a person who always liked my videos and posts. He would make comments that showed me he understood my messages. It seemed he resonated with what I was putting out there. He seemed to get it. He seemed to see me.

Still the truth was that I had no idea who he was. We had never met, he lived in India. So I had a look at his page. No sooner did I have all the validation I needed to take a leap of faith and ask this perfect stranger to interview for a project that I wasn’t quite sure the outcome of. And there it was. One click and I had my validation. Across the background of his page read, Nothing more stronger than a broken man rebuilding himself. Well played, Spirit. Well played.

So, in that moment I reached out to a total stranger. I introduced myself and told him a little bit about the idea I had. Then I took a deep breath and hit send.

I felt an adrenaline rush in that moment. It felt like I was doing something big. My logical mind was doing all the things to try to stop me from doing it. What on Earth are you doing? You don’t know this guy. What if you’re willingly messaging a psycho? What if you interview him and it’s the worst experience of your life? How embarrassed would you feel? Stop this nonsense. You’re wasting your time. Nobody cares what you have to say anyway. I had to look at that part of myself, and I had to acknowledge it. So I took a second and listened. The pull in me to go for this was too strong. I wanted it. I wanted to help men and I had things to say. I acknowledged my fears, my logical mind and I simply agreed with it and moved on. Yes. I’m crazy. This is insane. I’m doing it.

This is what I sent:

Hello Rajesh! I want to thank you for your support of my work. I truly appreciate your heartfelt comments on my posts. I am considering a new idea of interviewing men about healing the masculine energy. I noticed the quote on your Facebook page, ‘nothing more stronger than a broken man rebuilding himself.’ I like that very much. I believe there is strength and courage in being vulnerable and healing. Are you interested in discussing healing and the masculine energy? I would like to record/edit a short interview and post it on social media to help encourage and raise awareness about healing. Thank you for your consideration and wishing you well.

Three minutes later he responded. Three minutes. It was afternoon on the eastern coast of the United States, which made it after midnight in India. Three minutes after I took a leap of faith on my project the ball was rolling. It went from thought to motion all because I vulnerably put myself out there. I took a leap of faith on myself. On my intuition. On my inner knowing that the information and connections I was making were a gift from the Divine and wanted to be heard. This was the idea that came through me and someone else believed in it too. I was thrilled and filled with gratitude. His response:

Dear Ms. Alyssa,

I am really happy for getting an appreciative message from you. In fact I am impressed by your incredible works and also I love your articles and videos too. I thank you for giving me an opportunity to interview me regarding healing and the masculine energy. It will be a great encouragement and motivation for me to get associated with you in this aspect. Thank you.

CHAD

Can you say biggest childhood crush ever?! Um, this was the guy. He came to my school in fourth grade. I stared at him from across every classroom for years. Fourth to ninth grade he was basically on my mind more than I’d like to admit. I walked by his house whenever I could, wishing he’d be outside so that he’d see me and realize he was actually in love with me too. Apparently we talked a couple of times over the years. I don’t remember much of the details of those conversations. I remember his bright blue eyes and how he’d look at me from across the room too. I remember his energy and how I thought he was really sweet…and really cute. I remember twisting the stems of apples while singing the alphabet and forcing the stem to pull out while the song happened to be on the letter P so as to ensure that he would be my husband. Yeah, so just a silly little childhood crush. You know the kind.

In tenth grade I moved away and that was the end of that. I saw him once after I moved away at a formal dance. I went with a guy I was friends with and he was there with a girlfriend. I saw them dancing together and felt butterflies in my stomach. I had known he was dating her so it wasn’t new information. Just seeing it live was a reality check. So, I decided to move on with my life and marry someone else.

Almost twenty years later I heard from him. I was rocking my youngest daughter, who was somewhere between the ages of one and two, when I got a Facebook message from him. I remember getting this message from him and almost falling off my chair with my sleeping daughter in arms. I couldn’t believe he was reaching out to me! He told me he had tried to find me years earlier and even thought about messaging my brother to see where I was. Since I didn’t have my maiden name on social media and we didn’t have any mutual friends, it made sense that he had difficulty finding me.

In his message he was apologetic for making a racial remark against me back when we were freshman in high school. I could feel him opening his heart and I was shocked at how much regret and sadness was coming through in his writing. It actually took me a while to remember what he was talking about. Over the years I had forgotten that incident and only thought of him as a person I felt so fondly of for so many years. As I dug further into my memory banks, I remembered being at one of his friend’s houses. I was there with some girlfriends. He was across the way and made some remark about me being Japanese. In hindsight, I remember being crushed. I remember trying to be strong in the moment and later crying as I walked along the sidewalk home with my friends. They were consoling me. I remember that was really the end of seeing him in the same light.

Now here he was decades later with a heartfelt apology. He not only apologized, he shared that he was fond of me back then too. I forgave him, of course. In the moment, I was thrilled to hear from him. I was glad to see him making amends for things that weighed heavy on him. My heart was happy to see him leveling up in life. He definitely seemed to have it rough during our childhood. He seemed so closed off back then. It was really amazing to see and feel him on a deeper level. He was acting from his heart and I was honored to share the moment with him. My inner grade-schooler was blushing with joy.

A while later I heard from him again on private messenger. He was complimentary of my work as an intuitive healer and shared with me that my videos were helping him. I was so grateful for the positive feedback. As the ideas for this project were starting to grow, he was one of the first people to come into my mind as a man doing the work. I knew he’d be great. But my logical mind was filling my head with doubt. He was a very private person. I really had no solid evidence that he would be great for this…only my intuition. I took the leap of faith anyways. I was so pleasantly surprised with his response. And then, I was so incredibly thrilled with his interview. I’m so grateful I took the chance on asking him to be a part of this.

JARRET

I met Jarret twenty years ago in a dance class. We dated for a couple years, were married for 12 years and have been divorced for about 4 years now. We have four children together. One resides in heaven and three on Earth. We have lived together since our divorce, co-parenting and thriving. Jarret is one of my best friends. We were dance partners professionally during our time as husband and wife. We traveled the world and then we dove into the art of parenting. We’ve defied all the projections that came at us through our challenges. People said, you can’t do that! To which we said, ok, and then happily did it anyways.

We accept each other for the souls we are on this journey. We learn and grow from each other. We support each other. And yes, we date people too. We both value and desire for the other person to find love and happiness in a partnership and to feel fulfilled and all of the beautiful things that come along with having a romantic partner. Just so you know, it’s possible to divorce and be supportive friends. Heck, it’s possible to live with your children, your ex-husband and your boyfriend all at the same time. It’s possible to vacation with your ex-husband and your boyfriend, and even for them to be friends. I’m living it. It’s cool. It’s ok to think outside of the box! No limits!

So when I decided to take a leap of faith on this project, it was Jarret who was my sounding board. He was throwing out ideas and supportive of me going for it. He’s been there patiently listening to my stories, my hardships in love, my struggles as a mom. He’s been there to share in my excitements and to watch me grow. He’s been on the other side of my boundary lines and has chosen to rise up and respect them. He’s upgraded from the man I divorced to the man who is undoubtedly one of my closest friends of this lifetime. He’s my family. I’m proud of our journey together. I’m grateful for him and all we have shared.

Maybe he didn’t actually want to interview with me for this project. But I’m pretty sure he read my face and knew there was only one answer to my question, will you please do an interview with me for my project? I’m glad he agreed. I’m glad he now knows the right answers to my questions. Sheesh, that took a while! Seriously though, I knew he would bring good things to the table because I am living through his evolution. I was a catalyst for one of his transformations. My boundary, his train wreck. Anyways, good stuff. There’s more to that story, but for now just know, this is one good man. I’m proud to have him as the father of my children and to venture on this journey of life and parenting with him. I’m grateful he graciously agreed to share his experience with all of us.

ALEX

You ever have those right-place-at-the-right-time situations? You know when things coincide and it just feels good? Meeting Alex was this type of coincidence for me. Our paths connected at a bar in upstate New York. I was dropped off there while waiting for my boyfriend at the time. The bar was super busy. I went to the bathroom and then snagged the only spot at the bar that was available, which was at the very end corner. I’m not even sure it was a spot actually. So I stood there waiting for a bartender. There was a couple on the end catty-corner to me. They were observing me as every drink I tried to order was not available for one reason or another. Not sure which drink I finally settled on but safe to say it wasn’t one of my top three. I don’t remember what his ice breaker was, but Alex said something to me about what he saw me experiencing. I remember the woman next to him, who I later learned was his wife. They both had a really comfortable vibe and seemed like cool people.

Conversation flowed from whatever the ice breaker was to travel and great books and telling them about my boyfriend on the advertisement in the bathroom and his job at the renaissance faire in town. Alex had also seen the advertisement in the bathroom and we had a laugh about using bathrooms as a place to advertise. Throughout our discussion I was hearing my intuitive voice telling me to ask if he read the Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield. At the time I was still learning to trust my intuitive voice. I still had doubts yet was starting to dabble in believing it in real time. So eventually, I asked him if he’d ever read that book. His face lit up as if he was surprised to hear the question. No I haven’t read the book, but I just watched the movie last night!

To me, that book is all about coincidences. Events coinciding. We use the word as if it’s an accident yet, the literal meaning is simply things coming together. Things aligning.

I stayed in touch with Alex over the couple years from the time we met until the time of this project via social media. I watched him evolve. I realized that I could see how the essence of a man changes when he goes through a transformation. There is something there that’s a bit more humble and more present. I didn’t know him that well when I felt the intuitive pull to reach out to him. I knew him well enough to know he aligned. I just didn’t know if he’d be willing. I was pleasantly surprised and grateful for his response. He was willing to go outside of his comfort zone and do the interview with me. He was supportive of what I was doing and had gratitude for the invitation. He was my fourth interview and I was mind-blown how the conversations were going. Honest. Comfortable. Fun. Relaxed. These men were sharing with me openly from their hearts. It was so flipping cool.

KEVIN

What was cool to me about getting Kevin on board for this project was that I had no idea that he’d been through a transformation of sorts. I had seen on social media that he was shifting. So that was enough to appease my logical mind and not make it super scary to reach out to him. Last I knew he was working at the same place as when I’d met him. We were employed at the same place about seven years earlier. I worked with him on an off in my four years there. We worked in different departments but came together for group meetings and occasionally crossed paths throughout the days. I just thought he was super cool, down to earth, and I always felt really comfortable around him. I felt like he gets it. As in, he gets life. He had an authenticity about him that I resonated with.

When I actually reached out to him, he was stoked on my project. He was all in and totally supportive. Again, I was so grateful for the responses I was getting. I guess I was hopeful the men would be down to be interviewed, I never thought they’d be honored to be a part of it! That was incredibly humbling.

So as it turned out, he had a transformation way bigger than I had any clue about! I kind of thought he was still working at the same place we’d met and then doing some passion work on the side. No sir! Turns out he took a massive leap of faith years earlier! He was doing him! He was living his passions out in real time. He was going through the ups and downs of life from a place of authenticity, driven by his heart. He made a big switch, took a big chance and was figuring it out. I was excited to learn this and even more so he was willing to share it.

BRETT

Brett was my high school sweetheart. We started dating in tenth grade and continued on for seven years. It broke my heart when our relationship ended. There was so much love between us. So much attraction on many levels. We just seemed to not be aligning with what was next. I think we broke up because I was needing to grow and stretch beyond what I knew was possible. I wanted to go, go, go and he wanted to build, build, build.

I do a lot of work in dream time. I get answers, inspiration, premonitions, information about clients, do healing work and have communication with others. Sometimes they’re living and sometimes they’re dead. Sometimes I know them, sometimes I don’t. There’s a lot going on for me in my dreams. I consider it my work and use it as a valuable tool in my life. Sometimes people don’t realize it but the vibe they’re putting out there can be picked up. So too many times to count, I have experiences where someone is thinking about me and then they show up in my thoughts or my dreams. Sometimes I reach out to them and sometimes I don’t. If I reach out, it is always validated that it’s so funny I called because they were thinking of me or wanting to reach