Everyday Grace: The Art of Being a Woman

By Sat Purkh Kaur Khalsa

Every woman has within her an inner grace, an everyday grace. Combining personal experiences with the Teachings of Yogi Bhajan, Everyday Grace explores a woman's path toward her highest identity - the Grace of God - with an authentic, contemporary voice. Sometimes humorous, sometimes edgy, Sat Purkh brings these ancient teachings to life, making

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kundalini Research Institute
• Release date: Aug 1, 2014
• ISBN: 9781940837635

Book preview

Everyday

Grace

The

Art of Being a Wom

an

Based on the Teachings of Kundalini Yoga

as taught by Yogi Bhajan®

Sat Purkh Kaur Khalsa

Kundalini Research Institute

Training Publishing Research Resources

© 2010 Kundalini Research Institute

Published by the Kundalini Research Institute

PO Box 1819

Santa Cruz, NM 87567

www.kundaliniresearchinstitute.org

eISBN 978-1-940837-63-5

The diet, exercise and lifestyle suggestions in this book come from ancient yogic traditions. Nothing in this book should be construed as medical advice. Any recipes mentioned herein may contain potent herbs, botanicals and naturally occurring ingredients which have traditionally been used to support the structure and function of the human body. Always check with your personal physician or licensed health care practitioner before making any significant modification in your diet or lifestyle, to insure that the ingredients or lifestyle changes are appropriate for your personal health condition and consistent with any medication you may be taking. For more information about Kundalini Yoga as taught by Yogi Bhajan please see www.yogibhajan.org and www.kundaliniresearchinstitute.org.

All teachings, yoga sets, techniques, kriyas and meditations courtesy of The Teachings of Yogi Bhajan. Reprinted with permission. Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws. All Rights Reserved. No part of these Teachings may be reproduced or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, except as may be expressly permitted in writing by the The Teachings of Yogi Bhajan. To request permission, please write to KRI at PO Box 1819, Santa Cruz, NM 87567 or see www.kundaliniresearchinstitute.org.

This publication has received the KRI Seal of Approval. This Seal is given only to products that have been reviewed for accuracy and integrity of the sections containing the 3HO lifestyle and Kundalini Yoga as taught by Yogi Bhajan®.

KRI Review: Siri Neel Kaur Khalsa

Consulting Editor: Nirvair Singh Khalsa

Proofreader: Sarb Jit Kaur

Index: Vanessa Khalsa

Copy Editor: Tara Joffe

Design: Prana Projects

Photography: Ravitej Singh Khalsa and Alan Miyataki

Models: Krishna Kaur, Har Rai Kaur, Guru Nam Kaur, Nirinjan Kaur Khalsa, Nicole Elliot Murray, Elan Murray, Bhajan Kaur,

Suraj Kaur and Hari Darshan Kaur

Photograph of the author provided by Deborah Fryer, Lila Films, Inc.

Opening quotes from The Teachings of Yogi Bhajan; July 29, 1990 and July 13, 1979 respectively.

Everyday grace must be your reality—your norm.

—Yogi Bhajan

Nothing should shake you from the awakening art that is within you: the art of being a woman.

—Yogi Bhajan

To my Teacher, Yogi Bhajan, whose wisdom and

compassion have opened the door for me and countless

others to be graceful, beautiful, invincible women.

To my sister, Ronda, the most graceful woman I have

ever known. Her kindness is her gift; her life, an

inspiration; and her touch, a healing.

Contents

Dedication

Grace Note:        Foreword from the Author

Chapter One:      Amazing Grace

Chapter Two:     Grace and the Art of Being

Chapter Three:   The Art of Sexuality Maintaining Your Grace

Chapter Four:    The Art of Living Aging Gracefully

Chapter Five:    The Art of Communication The Word and the Sword

Chapter Six:      The Art of Relationships Living in Harmony

Chapter Seven:  The Art of Creativity The Divine Mother

Chapter Eight:  The Art of Healing The Touch of Grace

Chapter Nine:   The Art of Community Peacemaking in the Aquarian Age

Chapter Ten:     Saving Grace

Afterword:        The Grace of God Movement and the Teachings of Yogi Bhajan

Everyday Recipes

Everyday Asanas

Kriya: Keeping the Body Beautiful

Bibliography

Index

About the Author

Grace Note

There are many different ways to think about grace—the hand of God working in your life, the gift of a teacher, or your own inner being. Throughout this book, we'll explore these notions of grace and many more. But one way to start thinking about grace is through music. A grace note is a trill or embellishment; it adds a flourish and expands on the primary tone or creates a bridge to the next primary tone. The grace note brings with it an internal rhythm, weaves itself into the melody, without taking over. In classical Indian music, there's a similar concept called mukta, which quite literally means liberation. The mukta falls between two consonants and provides a little room, an internal rhythm between the words and within the words. It creates a flow. It is a grace.

Throughout the book, you'll find brief, guided meditations, pranayams (breathing exercises), and exercises that will serve as a kind of grace note within the flow of ideas. Take a moment to pause and reflect on these practices, or set aside time in your day to practice them in earnest. Some are simply guided visualizations and others are kriyas and meditations from the Teachings of Yogi Bhajan. Many of these grace notes are available as downloads so that you can listen to them throughout the day or practice them on the go. See the media page at www.kundaliniresearchinstitute.org.

Before you begin, bring your hands to your heart in Prayer Pose and tune in with the mantra, Ong Namo Guru Dev Namo, I bow to the Infinite, I bow to the Teacher within. This will set the tone for your practice—however long or short it may be.

When grace becomes a part of you, a part of your identity, your way of being in the world, you become a part of the flow of life. You are freed—liberated—to become a part of the great mystery. Instead of wasting time and energy in trying to control everything, you can relax and enjoy life's flow. Dip your toe in the stream of life. Each moment brings a change in the river, and grace allows that change to elevate you, transform you, and guide your way on.

Chapter One

Amazing Grace

Woman is not a small thing. She is the root, she is the trunk, she is the branches, and she is the leaves of the tree of life.¹

—Yogi Bhajan

I grew up singing the traditional hymn, Amazing Grace, most Sundays, and it remains close to my heart even today. The words, how sweet the sound, still resound in my consciousness. Grace, as a concept, has always been appealing to me (perhaps because I needed it more than most or because I'd received more than my fair share?). That some mystery, something outside myself, might intercede on my behalf, might somehow make up for my own perceived shortcomings and make a difference in my life, especially in those times when I didn't believe I deserved it, is a beautiful idea, yes? So many paths—or dharmas—lead to grace, and I've traveled many of them, each taking me one step closer to my Self and my spirit.

One day I found myself in a Kundalini Yoga as taught by Yogi Bhajan® class, chanting I am Grace of God. This turned everything I'd come to understand about faith and my own experience on its head. Instead of grace descending down to me from above, I was now asked to recognize that grace—that quixotic nectar, that sweetness of the sound—existed within me, as me!

Changing the definition of grace to include myself, my own nature as a woman, my being, took me a long, long way from home; yet it had also been there all along. My own mother's tremendous strength, courage, passion, and commitment were and are the face of grace in the midst of incredible self-sacrifice and service. Although she married into a traditional role of doctor's wife and homemaker, she never allowed that to limit who she perceived herself to be. Instead, she lived for her family and for her faith—and she defined her life for herself and celebrated it. She still does. And yes, she is amazing. Or my sister, whose grace is unmatched by anyone I've ever known. Her dedication, compassion and kindness never cease to amaze me.

Grace is a quality that women bring to every aspect of their lives: their quiet strength, in the face of the sometimes grinding monotony, is their steel; their compassion and faith, in the good times and the bad, are found in their everyday kindnesses; their words, their touch—a balm. A woman's everyday grace is the face of the Divine on Earth.

Every child grows up believing that he or she is invincible; identifying with heroes and heroines, essentially wanting to be a superhero. In fact, up until around age 10, most of us imagined ourselves to be just that, with all the accompanying secret powers and mysterious insights; all those things we just knew as children as we watched the world around us. In my day, there was Wonder Woman—with her island of fellow sisters, her golden amulets that defended her from dark forces, and her crazy, invisible flying machine, she had it all. There were other, more pedestrian role models to look to as well: Laura Ingalls Wilder from the Little House series, whose courage and independence were an inspiration; Judy Blume's Margaret, who gave voice to our insecurities about growing up; and Nancy Drew, whose methodical, studious habits and insatiable curiosity were preludes to who I and so many others of my generation became. We were also the inheritors of Title IX, legislation that demanded equal dollars be spent for girls' and women's sports as had been traditionally spent on boys. And trust me, growing up in Texas, that legislation made a big difference! These cultural icons from my generation, however, are small fry compared with today's plethora of women's sports idols, musicians, writers, artists, and activists. Girl Power is in. Riot Grrrls, post-feminist feminism, the womyn's movement—whatever the name, empowering women and girls is the new black. Fashion may finally be serving the interests of women, and it's about time! Young women now have more accessible and meaningful role models than at any other time in our modern culture. Aiming high is no longer unusual for women and girls.

As we grow up, however, most of us lose that sense of invincibility. Our personal power gets set aside for just getting along. Our identity as Infinity gets short-circuited, and we begin to seek outside ourselves for approval and acceptance. We begin to limit ourselves. Wanting to fit in, we make ourselves small. Authority figures question us, and we retreat. We begin to doubt ourselves instead of defending our truth. We second-guess our intuition—that core inner sense of knowing that had been with us (and is with us still, if we'd only listen)—and with it our connection to the One. We begin to question whether there ever really was a connection at all. Nature hates a vacuum, so in an effort to fill that space, that core need, that longing to belong, we sell ourselves short. Once belonging only to the Beloved, to God, we now abandon ourselves to whatever we can get. And in the getting, we lose the opportunity to receive what we truly need—our Self.

How do we reclaim our true identity, our connection to the One, our inner Self? First we must remember where it truly lies—in the one Creator, in being one with the Creator. When I was seven or eight years old, I woke up and thought to myself, Something's missing. The loss was palpable. And in all the innocence and precociousness of my youth, I said to myself, I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to remember what I've forgotten. That was my moment of separation from the One. I have since spent many years consciously seeking what I had lost.

We all share this experience—the fall from grace. For some it's more traumatic; for others, there's no sense of loss at all, just an undifferentiated anxiety that something's not quite right or that something has gone terribly wrong. But just as we all share this experience of separation, we also share the potential to realize that oneness again. We all have the potential to experience our own human excellence and profound joy through the energy of the kundalini, the life force and excellence of the human psyche. This potent potential rests at the base of our spine and, when awakened, is the human expression of the Divine. As the kundalini rises, we experience bliss. We no longer call things good or bad, right or wrong; we simply acknowledge what is as being God and rejoice in the flow of life. As the kundalini returns, we are healed and our energy is restored. This is our birthright; this is grace.

In truth, these polarities—the childlike longing for superpowers and the adolescent-induced inferiority complexes—are simply the journey toward becoming a woman. Yet if you aren't careful, if you don't address them in consciousness and confront them head on, these attitudes can be carried into adulthood and grow more pronounced. The fantasies of superpowers grow into bloated, empty visions of grandiosity; adolescent insecurities grow into corrosive self-loathing. Instead, imagine taking that first step toward your true Self. Retire your superpowers to the shelf and drop your baggage at the curb; know that you are the wow, the juice, the life in every living thing—just by being you. Your creative spark, your limitless love, and your warmth and tenderness nurture every good thing into existence. You carry the hopes of the future even as you fulfill the needs of the present. Just be a woman—the Grace of God—because that is more than enough.

The desire to be bigger than life stems from our very nature as women. As women, we are infinitely creative, just as we are connected to the Infinite Creator. In the words of Yogi Bhajan, we are the creativity of the Creator. This, of course, begs the question, What have we created?

Looking around at today's world, it would be easy to become discouraged; so much violence, poverty, ignorance, intolerance, and hatred—and so much of it at the expense of women. Are we the creators of this? Well, the short answer is yes. Our inability to forgive, our attachment to clan and kin, our jealousy and desire for more have wrought every kind of evil—war, murder, theft. The story of Adam and Eve has a kernel of truth in it, it's just interpreted incorrectly.

Let's say we accept as our premise that woman's desire and hubris led her astray—and man followed her. So, what's wrong with this traditional interpretation? The answer is the notion that it can't change! This notion is the fundamental mistake that misogynist cultures and religions have imposed on women for centuries; they have run with the idea of the woman's fall and used it to oppress her for generations. But woman is infinitely creative; her fall from grace, if that's what we want to call it, can be corrected. She simply needs to embody her grace once again; then all paradise will be ours to enjoy once more.

So, how do you get back to the garden? Remember who you are—the Grace of God. Rejoice in the potent power of your infinite creativity. Women are the