Beyond Oz: My Journey from Religion to Spirituality

By Makena McChesney

After release from a 12-year cult experience, Makena embarks on an adventure to discover what it means to live life by direct reliance on Source, exclusive of a fear-based religious belief system. Her cult experience was restrictive and stripped her and her family of freedom of choice. Eventually, the cult doctrine nearly led to sacrifice of home and property.

On attempting to escape the cult entrapment in 1990, she appealed to God to give her encouragement. She received a three-fold promise from two identical scripture passages that essentially described a release from imprisonment, a time of abundance, and lifetime financial security. The Beyond Oz experience covers a span of 26 years that ultimately delivers all three promises—the last of which appeared impossible when she experienced a devastating loss at age 60. She was also inspired to “close the book,” indicating the Bible and some of the more oppressive messages. She was divinely encouraged to follow her inner guidance, her higher self, Source. She transparently narrates the ups and downs, the highs and the lows, but all with the underlying lessons she brought forward from her cult experience—to release fear, ask Source, gain knowledge, take personal responsibility and above all to love self and fellowman.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Jul 30, 2021
• ISBN: 9781982272180

Makena McChesney

Makena McChesney, author of "Seeking Oz; My Twelve-Year Journey in a Cult," continues her memoir with a sequel, "Beyond Oz." Her subsequent true-life story takes the reader beyond the difficult cult years, and through a variety of inspiring adventures that prove to shed light on the freer aspects of spirituality as compared to some of man's weighty religious doctrines. Makena shares her story with the intention of providing hope and freedom to individuals who may have experienced unnecessary fear, guilt, or shame from a religious experience. She likens the metamorphosis of religion to spirituality as to the butterfly who escapes the cocoon. Makena, semi-retired, currently lives in the foothills of the Sierras. She is the mother of three, and grandmother of seven. She enjoys family, kayaking, golfing, and writing.

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Balboa Press rev. date: 07/30/2021

CONTENTS

Preface

Introduction

PART I   CURRENT, SEPTEMBER 2020

Chapter 1     Awakening, Asking, Acting

PART II   PROMISE NUMBER ONE –

RELEASE FROM PRISON

Chapter 1     A Strange Directive and Threefold Promise

Chapter 2     An Uncomfortable Wait and Magical Detour

Chapter 3     A Wonderful Respite and More Awakening

Chapter 4     More Magic and A Special Friendship

PART III   PROMISE NUMBER TWO –

EAT FROM THE KING’S TABLE

Chapter 1     Getting Back to Me

Chapter 2     A Shocking Revelation

Chapter 3     A Big Project

Chapter 4     Trailer Life and a Sisterly Proposal

Chapter 5     Cruise Number One

Chapter 6     The Shift

Chapter 7     Cruise Number Two

Chapter 8     New Jobs

Chapter 9     What the…?

Chapter 10   An Unexpected Reunion

Chapter 11   Lifestyle Changes

Chapter 12   A Move and New Side Interests

Chapter 13   More Surprise Blessings

PART IV   PROMISE NUMBER THREE – RECEIVE

AN ALLOWANCE AS LONG AS I LIVE

Chapter 1     Embracing Love and Releasing Fear

Chapter 2     Time to Give Back

Chapter 3     Choice: Never Say Die; or Die

Chapter 4     The Ego Death

Chapter 5     Introduction to a Soul Adventure

Chapter 6     The Soul Adventure Begins

Chapter 7     The Soul Adventure Continues

Chapter 8     An Important Pause in My Journey

Chapter 9     A Prediction Come True

Chapter 10   Synchronicity Lights the Path to the Promise

Chapter 11   En Route to the Promised Land

Chapter 12   Promise Delivered!

PREFACE

Here I am again, sitting at my computer with a blank slate.

I have known for some time that I would provide a follow-up to my memoir, Seeking Oz, My Twelve-Year Journey in a Cult. I was so confident that I would write Beyond Oz that I mentioned it in that first memoir.

My current hope, in depicting the period following the painful cult years, is to underscore the contrast as to what it means to follow our inner, Divine guidance as opposed to seeking an Oz for life’s answers.

The subsequent journey has been one of discovery—an adventurous partnership with the Divine--replete with asking questions, to delight in the answers; embracing synchronicity, to realize the inherent miracle; relaxing into self-love, to discover less judgment of others; finding abundance in times of loss; and leaping into the unknown, only to experience a strength I had yet to acknowledge and own.

And, once again, I rely on Spirit to bring forth the memory of those experiences that would be most helpful to Reader, to relay a message of joy, freedom, and hope. I call on those who live in Light and Love from the Other Side—particularly my spirit guides who have been with me since birth and can deeply appreciate the ride.

INTRODUCTION

Coming out of the cult in 1990 was like rediscovering childhood—that is, the characteristics of childhood.

Foremost in that transformative experience was the appreciation and excitement about living life itself! As a child revels in exploration by sight, sound, smell, and touch, I breathed in all that nature could provide—from the most minute to the most magnificent of God’s handiwork. It was as if everything was magical again—the perfect glass-like dewdrops on a leaf, the relentless drone of bees at their garden work, the woodstove fire’s comforting smoky fragrance, the feel of sand slipping beneath my feet by the pull of the returning ocean tide. It seemed that the lovely, familiar sights and sounds that were dimmed by those years of stress and lack of choice were amplified beyond my normal perception. I experienced the beautiful, wonderful material world again from childlike eyes.

Another childlike characteristic gained from my metamorphosis was my intense curiosity and desire to question everything! It was as if I had an ongoing dialog with a perfect, loving parent who not only had the patience to listen to my every question, but who provided me an assurance that I would indeed receive an answer. I think the success in receiving the answers was the fact that I genuinely believed the answers would come—in due time. And, as in a partnership with a loving parent and a curious, questioning child, the answers did come!

The Divinely guided release from the dark experiences of my former life provided me the confidence needed to embark on an adventure based on faith. The faith was provided by a Source of Love that was able to penetrate a mind and heart that previously paid homage to shame-based, fear-based belief systems. After an intense period of associated pain and suffering, once the reliance on Source was well established without wavering, I was free to choose and discover.

Was my life free from obstacles and hurdles from then forward? Of course not. But my perception of what life was all about took on a new meaning. I was free to explore and learn from my choices and experiences. I was not required to live a perfect life; but again, using the analogy of a loving parent and the eager child, I could launch out with a new-found freedom that dismissed fear and embraced abundance. If I made mistakes, the experience was for my own edification and soul evolution without fear of punishment. The natural consequences of my choices were sufficient to push me in the direction of risk-taking for the sake of learning what it means to be a child of God. No unrealistic sacrifice was required—only choices to enhance and improve my life and others’ lives by discovering the power of love, starting with love for myself.

I document this narrative merely to illustrate the transformation from my cult experience of obedience to Oz, or man’s religion, to what I believe is meant by the Christian expression of being born again—to move from a limited perception to a broader, freer, and forgiving existence that elevates us from the grounded caterpillar to the air-born butterfly.

On my exit from the cult, I felt I was Divinely encouraged to let go of the Christian scriptures for the time—which I did. Many of the scriptures were seemingly grounded in fear and shame. However, since I had read the Bible several times over and committed many scriptures to memory, the scriptures would come to mind, illuminated toward a positive understanding by Source, rather than by man’s interpretation that propagated fear through religion.

I would apply the test to determine my path’s direction. Does my current experience provide love for myself and others, not causing hurt to either? Do these words from the scriptures that pass through my mind come from a wise, Divine source, or am I experiencing guilt, shame, or fear? The simple formula has worked for me many times over, and the adventure has been delightfully amazing—even in seemingly devastating situations.

In this narrative I will recall random experiences that had a positive bearing on my journey after the cult. I may state some of the scriptures that came to my mind at that juncture. Again, as mentioned in my memoir, Seeking Oz; My Twelve-Year Journey in a Cult, I do not adhere to any one religion or intend to preach, teach, or proselytize toward any specific belief system. I happened to be raised in the Christian religion.

Also, as in Seeking Oz, all names and most locations have been changed or obscured to protect those who were involved in the cult.

As before writing the first memoir about the cult years, I had to ask myself, "Why am I writing Beyond Oz? I think what it all comes down to is to say a big thank you to the One Creator God, the Universe, the Source of Love and to all loving, guiding entities on the Other Side. As to you, the Reader and audience on this side of the veil, I would say if you have recently had a similar experience of leaving Oz behind and can relate to seeking beyond man’s controlling dogmas, Happy Journeying Beyond Oz!"

PART I

Current, September 2020

CHAPTER 1

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Awakening, Asking, Acting

QUESTION TO ME from my friends, family, and acquaintances over the past thirty years since coming out of a cult:

How did an intelligent, independent person such as yourself get duped into following a destructive cult and eventually giving up all your freedoms?

QUESTION FROM ME to the world in September 2020:

How did intelligent, free-thinking people such as yourselves get duped into following a destructive cult and become willing to give up your freedom?

The two questions, above, are almost identical; and though one applies to me personally and the other applies to the collective, the circumstances are remarkably similar, as are the answers.

It took me four or five years after coming out of a religious cult to be able to understand the how and why of my twelve-year entrapment. Part I of my memoir, Seeking Oz, is devoted to describing background circumstances and experiences that explain my vulnerability to being prey to a controlling ideology that eventually deprived me of my birthright—choice.

Before delving further into parallel comparisons, below is a broad definition of a cult per Merriam-Webster:

• a religion regarded as unorthodox or spurious

• devotion to a person, idea, object, movement, or work

When we hear the word, cult, we generally think in terms of the first definition; however, a cult does not necessarily have to be religious, as indicated in the second definition.

The negative connotation that comes to mind is the potential harm to the group and to the public. To further characterize a cult, all or most of the following elements are present:

• A charismatic leader or leadership that promotes an ideology

• A process of indoctrination that can be viewed as coercive persuasion or thought reform, i.e., brainwashing

• Absolute authoritarianism without meaningful accountability

• No tolerance for questions or critical inquiry

• Propagation of unreasonable fear about the outside world, such as impending catastrophe

• Induces feelings of shame or guilt for purposes of control

• The group or leader is always right

• The group or leader is the exclusive means of knowing truth

• The group is elitist, claiming a special, exalted status

• The group has a polarized us-versus-them mentality, which may cause conflict with the wider society

• The group teaches or implies that its supposedly exalted ends justify whatever means it deems necessary

• Subservience to the group or leader encourages separation from family and friends

Scrolling through the list above, one can readily see the potential for harm to the group and associated outsiders or public.

So, back to the two questions. As mentioned, I answered the first question at length in my book, Seeking Oz. To reiterate the question often posed to me following my cult years:

How did an intelligent, independent person such as yourself get duped into following a destructive cult and eventually giving up all your freedom?

For a brief answer, reference a Q&A interview with BookLife that appeared in Publisher’s Weekly February 2019, in which I was asked:

What do you think made you susceptible to indoctrination by a cult?

In my book, I discuss several factors that contributed to my susceptibility to a cult, despite being raised by honest, good-hearted parents. The greatest factor was my unfounded guilt, which stemmed from my being brought up in a fear-based, shame-based religion.

The expanded justification was that I allowed myself to be convinced that the highest calling for an ethical, loving Christian, based on the teachings in the New Testament book of Acts,¹ would be to give up all my freedoms: decisions, income, and property. Anything short of such sacrifice would bring on shame and fear of displeasing a righteous God.

Your turn, world.

How did intelligent, free-thinking people such as yourselves get duped into following a destructive cult and become willing to give up your freedom?

Can the world justify why they would give up their God-given freedom of choice? Because where I stand right now, I can see that possibility. Not from everyone, of course. There are many enlightened, awakened people in the world who are capable of being strong and maintaining their freedom. However, and unfortunately, many are being driven by fear to potentially relinquish their freedom to a social system that portends harm.

In this narrative, I have no intention of delving into the planet’s current political struggle between freedom and control. In truth, I believe this is a spiritual war, more so between good and evil, and an opportunity to awaken to what or who controls our earth home. My purpose in drawing a parallel between the cult life I experienced and the possibilities the free world may face is to put forth the same challenge I faced when I started to realize that something is wrong. The cult ideology started out sound, but the fruits of our labors were not always those mentioned in the Bible.² Our pastor, using all the means as described in the cult definition, eventually brought us to a place of entrapment, remarkably similar to that brought about by the leadership of communistic societies we witness today.

So, here we are—absolutely all of us in the world—in this cult together. Our collective attention is pulled in all directions to take a good look at what is happening on the earth at this time.

Whereas my Christian experience was rooted in fear of punishment from God for lack of obedience, the entire world’s experience recently has also been one of fear, starting with a pandemic of great proportions—a pandemic supposedly capable of swiftly and mercilessly killing millions and millions on our globe. In response, government mandates impose separation by distancing, masks covering the greater part of our faces and restrictive measures in every aspect of our living—to congregate, to attend schools and churches, to run our businesses, and more.

As the ideologies have emerged from such a widespread fear, many individuals and lightworkers³ have sought answers and have worked to honor themselves and love their fellowman.

Simultaneously, for many others, extensive fear has erupted in blame, judgment, unrest, violence, hatred, increased fear mongering, and manipulation. Obviously, these behaviors are not the fruits of the Spirit as mentioned in the Bible. Where is the joy, the love, the kindness needed to keep a society from complete government takeover and possible civil war? Could something be wrong?

Release from fear begins with questioning the basis of that fear. I can think of no better place to start than question the Creator God, the Source of Love, who not only created us but who resides in us. We have at our disposal Divine direction, as we are all part of this magnificent, mystical, all-loving God. Reminds me of the lyrics to John Newton’s song, Amazing Grace:

Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, And grace my fears relieved.

So why am I making the comparison between my cult experience and the current chaotic world condition?

In retrospect, I can see that the purpose of my confinement in the cult was to wake me up to the fact that I was following an ideology that was causing me unhappiness and concern. Again, something was wrong. Once I took the challenge, to risk condemnation from God Himself by questioning Him and demanding answers, my fears relaxed, and the guidance came. I woke up!

The world has the same opportunity. Many have been and are awake and many more are awaking. However, many continue to be paralyzed by fear. Still others sense the wrong but shy away from the truth because they do not want the responsibility that accompanies being awake. For some it is easier to believe the lies and conform.

The individuals who are awake have a clear understanding of what it would mean to have their birthright of freedom and choice taken away and do not want to settle on such an eventuality, particularly if it results in the elimination of individuality—the uniqueness that God designed for each of us. When we are awake and we take hold of the fact that we do indeed have Divinity inside us, we understand that our contribution is unique and important to the whole. We are a valuable addition to a wholesome environment that operates out of love and care for ourselves and each other.

The danger that exists in a communistic society is that individuality is diminished and, in some cases, obliterated. As I mentioned in my book, Seeking Oz, by the end of the cult years my inner light had dimmed, my individuality had diminished; and the world appeared gray. It was a form of death, an unnecessary form of death, and a compromised contribution to the whole. In the cult, everything was militarized to a conformity in reaction to the leader’s ideologies, which left no consideration to individuality. When a society is dependent on God, the Source of Love, there is no need for dictators to take control of the lives of individuals.

What an amazing time to be alive on the earth! We get to explore and discover together.

However, it is each individual’s responsibility to ask questions of our Creator God, to ask for direction and to search our own hearts to determine if we are exemplifying the fruits of the Spirit. We need to question and check our allegiance to any one group to determine if the group is exemplifying the fruits of the Spirit; to trust and depend on our Divine inner guidance to make wise decisions; to be patient with each other and ourselves as we grow and learn in unique ways, at different paces; and to act in the most loving way towards ourselves and others.

Wow! Pretty crazy! But, bottom line, we need to be free to make choices or we are in the wrong group altogether! That is when we realize we are in the world but not of the world.

Hmmm?

PART II

Promise Number One –

Release from Prison

CHAPTER 1

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A Strange Directive and

Threefold Promise

As everyone knows, after leaving a cult, the indoctrinated individual needs a period of deprogramming—to back out of the brainwashing, to erase the slate and start clean.

Sounds easy enough; but, depending on the length and depth of the brainwashing period, the process can be complex and require time and patience.

I guess you might say I got a little head start on the process around the time of departure, approximately September 1990, in the form of Divine guidance.

Believe it or not, the Divine directive was to put aside one of the main sources of my brainwashing—which is what Christians call the Holy Bible. Though it was thirty years ago, I recall clearly that occasion as if it were yesterday.

Four months previous, in May 1990, my husband, Phil, and I made our rounds to each member of the fellowship. We provided a letter to explain why we were leaving and delivered a firm request to not get in touch with us. We were not open to contact; we needed to recoup and deprogram.

We accepted an offer on our house from a man who was having difficulty qualifying and we were now into our third month of waiting. We, in turn, had made a contingency offer on a home that was some distance away and enrolled our young six-year-old son, Jacob, in a small rural school near the new location. The wait was excruciating. We were right in the middle of the fellowship community where all members lived within walking distance of each other.

Standing alone in my kitchen, with the Bible opened on the countertop before me, I asked God for direction for me, my husband, Phil, and Jacob, my remaining son at home. My two oldest sons were away at college. My fears were mounting that the real estate deal could fall through. That was the summer/fall of 1990 when interest rates made a sharp climb, and the housing market was crashing.

It was a warm September day. I had just returned from driving thirty-five miles to drop Jacob off at the small-town elementary school in which I had enrolled him. I had a couple of hours before I would drive the thirty-five miles again to pick him up.

I could have taken a shorter route and reduced my drive by twenty miles, round trip. Why did I choose the longer route? Because I was afraid.

I was afraid of the steep incline and the return decline along the side of the road that was adjacent to disappearing white shoulder markings and abrupt cliff drop-offs of several feet. The positive aspect was that the panoramic view was beautiful.

Far below, the narrow water ribbon amongst the pines and oaks visibly grew on the descent to become a rapid, rushing river supplied by year-round mountain watershed. In the summer, the brave water warriors would ride their rubber rafts all the way from higher elevations. Eventually they slowed to the wider segment of the river to join the less courageous rafters that enjoyed the lazy ride to the city park that marked the end of the rafting journey.

I never considered myself a fearful person when it came to outdoor adventure. After all, in 1977, just prior to joining the small nondenominational Christian fellowship that eventually became a cult, I completed a feat that few have accomplished. I hiked down the north rim of the Grand Canyon with my dad, ex-navy-seal brother, my cousin, and oldest son all the way to the Colorado River.

Recalling the first day of that Grand Canyon adventure, we covered the steeply declining ten-mile hike to the basecamp, just beyond the Havasu village. We hiked under a searing hot sun, devoid of shade, and with exceptionally heavy backpacks before the canyon walls closed in on us, providing an early evening. The thick cluster of bats coming out to forage for food raced frantically and barely above our heads.

The next day at the crack of dawn, we left our heavy backpacks at basecamp, took a lighter pack of food and water, and hiked a short distance beyond camp. We then scaled, single file down through a cave-tunnel that eventually opened out to a craggy, vertical cliffside dotted with small metal pitons we used for handholds. Just opposite the lengthy decline was the blue-green Mooney Falls, thunderous and awe-inspiring. Once we arrived on the canyon floor, we rapidly made our way, single-file, alongside turquoise-blue waters that cascaded over tiers of travertine formations to make our way to the Colorado river and back before ascending the steep climb just before basecamp.

The round-trip distance to the Colorado river and back to basecamp was fourteen miles and quite a challenge based on the narrowing canyon walls that required us to zig-zag back and forth across the mostly shallow, but sometimes waist-high, stream that rumbled its way to the river. The biggest challenge