Blue Stocking: Pretty Thoughts in a Pretty Head

By Rena Shan

The Blue Stocking gives voice to the silent thinking of a modern woman in a conventional society masked by unconventionalism to forge a path of progress in the world which turns faster than any one of us can grasp. In its spin, are years trapped in the minds of a young woman who was too mature for her crowd but too young to break out for she was not bold to hurt the very culture which gave her the grace to move as much forward as they held her back to be on top. These essay, although written singularly with the selfish perception the thoughts only belonged to this young woman but in fact rings true in most of similar circumstances. However, the love which grows within her may have been the selfish desire to remain independently singular but in fact taught her to expand the love even further with wisdom, understanding, fortitude, knowledge from right to wrong (although only thinking makes it so), and the courage to do right spiritually because an inch within us remain the comfort of the compassion of saving her soul from the destitution of the real meaning of love.

A must read for eye-opening revelations for those still learning to love and yearning for love. You may think you have lost it but this book gives you the conviction, it can never die because nothing good ever does.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Partridge Publishing Singapore
• Release date: Jul 25, 2021
• ISBN: 9781543765885

Rena Shan

Rena Shan lives in Malaysia with her family and is currently teaching at KYS Business School, Melaka as the Director of the Centre of Languages and General Studies. She has also worked at various international schools teaching primary to secondary IGCSE and A-Levels in Malaysia. Her multi-national network gave rise to her first book "Collage of Dualism", although it was mainly to amuse a lonely expatriate colleague and his family. She is still thinking against the waves of conventionality and paves her own path with Lord's help- and God knows she needs a lot of it. Her general aim in life is to be useful to those in need of what she gives. For she observes "We live in a world of challenges and we all know we could do with a little help one way or another". The voice of silence in thinking is the "Blue Stoking" that gives her the license to speak truth in all honesty without qualms. Heartbreaking at times, by grace, it speaks to heal as she desires all the time in her life.

Book preview

Copyright © 2021 by Rena Shan.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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www.partridgepublishing.com/singapore

CONTENTS

Dedication

Foreword

Preface

Acknowledgement

Epigraph

Introduction

SOUL FOOD

Things That Destroy Us

Insanity

Fact: Reality Check

Deconstructing Love

Loneliness—A Pleasurable Companion

Unspoken

The Worldly Treasure

Ouroboros in Reverse

Foul Justification

The Secret Life of a Woman

The 4 Walls

Life Imitations.

Monochromes

Resentment

A Love Letter

Self-Preservation

The Brutal Truth

The Justification Of God And War

Slivers Of Me

Romance Deconstructed

The Mean Reds

Where Fore Art Thou

Cigarettes

Don’t Ask Don’t Tell

Why Not?

The Rendezvous Of Religion

The Simplicity Of Life

You

Stranger

The Apology

The Love Game

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

A Familiar Unfamiliarity

The Etiquette Of An Accent of A Borderless Lingua Franca

Equality And Justice

Shakespeare And The Malaysian Society

A Radical Thought

The Play And Me

Words, Dictionaries, & Meanings in a Multi-Ethnic Society.

Women And Their Roles In Relationships.

The Multi-Ethnic Dictionary

The Imposition Of Thoughts

Senna

Post-Colonialism

Phantom

Mark Felt

The Value Of Judgement

Let The Past Let Be

What Is The Right English?

The Etruscan Tombs

Sky Opens Up

Curiosity Kills Excitement

Hamlet: In Retrospect

The Playground Of Ignorance

13 – A Nation Cursed

Religions

The Elephant In The Room

Where Sparrows Fly

Some Malays And Their Vices

THE BODY

Of Self And Others

Body, Mind, And Soul – The Self

Being In Love

Marriage Becomes Me Not

Mirror

The Wish

Addiction

Sex Education & The East

DEDICATION

T his book is dedicated to JYMJ -an accidental fan - whose face lights up in my presence and blushes in admission to enjoying my text messages - and those alike – who dread reading but love text messages as of in the next few pages. May the joy of reading never elude even the least interested. Every little counts, every drop in the ocean is a leap for me.

Rena Shan

9 July 2021

FOREWORD

When you are always turning right, then it is time to turn left.

Dr. Ganesh Napolean

Brother and lifelong supporter

PREFACE

I am not a talker, although a flawless public speaker – well, most teachers are. Most words I conjure in the space of my head is at every moment that sparks thoughts into action. As the only person who listens can’t listen or read any more of what I have to share, I re-evaluated thoughts from a very long while back penned into journals, and it struck me from all the readings of books I have been engrossed in, as well as discussions ensuing from them with others along with comparative reading and research- here was a collection I could bravely share for it may or may not benefit others further in their future discussions on such topics. Thoughts are not merely thougths for me, they are the voice of silence in thinking – and like every other voice, they need to be heard; illustrations included.

Rena Shan

14 July 2021

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

W hen you are a visionary, it is hard to get others to see as you do –well, I have been blessed to have those around me supporting me with their love and encouragement one way or another:

♦ Dear God for His unconditional love and strength as well as encouragement keeping me in safe conditions to complete this book under His guidance.

♦ Parents: my beloved late father, Dr. Shanmugam, and my darling mother, Amarawati S., for their unshakeable trust and belief in my talents, constantly reminding me gently to have more courage even when I stubbornly refused to see the blessing behind every challenge.

♦ Brother and sister-in-law: Dr Ganesh Napolean and Bay Swee Ling for their constant wit, humour, and love in which I bask knowing all is safe and well, whilst also serving material for inspiration.

♦ My dear Editor, Kathy Lorenzo, my Senior Publishing Consultant, Jen Robbins, and all those at Partridge Publishing, for your patience and perseverance in dealing with me especially during this pandemic, I am grateful to you for your care and diligence.

EPIGRAPH

B ut however good you get at translating personality into line or paint it’s no go if your personality isn’t worth translating. - John Fowles

INTRODUCTION

A must read for eye-opening revelations for those still learning to love and yearning for love. You may think you have lost it but this book gives you the conviction, it can never die because nothing good ever does. I hope you enjoy it and it helps to stir thoughts in your head, too, for my opinions could be your start of a rather deeper interpretation of events in your life, especially when reading.

Rena Shan

14 July 2021

SOUL FOOD

Things That Destroy Us

Things that will destroy us:

P olitics without principle

P leasure without conscience

W ealth without work

K nowledge without character

B usiness without humanity

W orship without sacrifice ¹

~Uncle Alloy (maternal side) ~

Insanity

W onder what an insane person thinks. How can we judge them? What are the criteria of being an insane person? Here we are as sane as can be and we find ourselves scheming lies and practicing deception to save our skin or to hurt another. We think about things before saying them aloud. Our conscious minds speak words to us, and we think about them. The unconscious, on the other hand, just guides us with our instincts, and sometimes the result is good and sometimes, not. So, I wonder again—do the insane think as we do? Do they think rationally about their actions, or do they just act out of instinct?

In Shakespearian period, according to his plays and articles on the period, people gave the insane the license to speak the truth, because who would believe an insane person? Even today, the insane are said to be not right in the mind—brain damaged, they say. Therefore, whatever they may say will never be taken seriously. So, I ask you this: how are we to say they are insane when we ourselves can think up lies for the sake of staying out of trouble, while they are telling the truth? How can we brush aside what they say just because they are insane?

We are the ones insane; too afraid of the truth because we will