The Keeper of Light

By Timothy Brown

The Keeper of Light is a collection of poetry in conversation with the reader. It takes them through the author’s journey into adulthood as he discovers who he is and how he fits into the world. The book lays bare his struggle with mental illness and follows him as he wakes up to the political landscape of his country. The author explores what it means to have an identity, touching on everything from race and education to religion and spirituality. The vulnerability behind these poems allows you, the reader, to truly get to know the author and what he stands for.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Mar 15, 2021
• ISBN: 9781664155626

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Copyright © 2021 by Timothy Brown.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 02/02/2021

Xlibris

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CONTENTS

Prologue

Why Write?

I want

Finding My Voice

Rhyming’s Legacy

The Immortal Life

The Storm

A Liberating Death

I Stand Before You a Man (Part 1)

Belief Isn’t Enough

I’ve Lost Myself

Depressive Thoughts

I Lay Before You Lost and Broken (Part 2)

What Lies Behind My Conscious Mind?

Memory’s Mystery

Left with a choice

Blood is Thicker Than Water

I Stand Before You With Love (Part 3)

Clearing of the Skies

City Of Ghosts

Pain of a Soldier

The American Facade

Open Your Eyes

Bleached equity

Responsibilities of a White Man

We Are Waking Up Now

The Open Night Sky

Among the Stars

The Monster in my Pocket

A Rebel’s Cause

Free Your Mind

The Power of Curiosity

Building The Lighthouse

Choice

Talking To Myself

Which Reality Do I claim?

A Dream’s Escape

The Nature of Reality

The Rhyme and Rhythm of Life

My Precious Teacher

A Word’s Influence

Motivation Made Known

Born of Love

Legacy

The Devil’s Gatekeeper

Power

Fear

Smile

Happiness

Pain is the Catalyst to Growth

Surviving The Night

The Binding Rhythm

The Power of the Sky

Colors of Life

Mary Jane

The Quiet of Snow

The Rain Drop’s Touch

Wisdom of the Trees

Lotus

The Touch Of Light

Will You Take My Hand?

I Touch

The Purity of your Imperfection

Always and Forever

Epilogue

The Ember That Saved a Heart

I See My Art In Your Eyes

I’m stranded on a raft lost in an ocean of my PTSD,

Depression,

And anxiety.

I drift farther away from a society that doesn’t understand or value me.

The Farther i drift out

The more I’m overcome by these waves of doubt.

The waves transform into a full blown storm as I grip my raft,

Trying to keep it together as it begins to deform.

The wind picks up and starts howling at me.

It tells me how the sea has corrupted everyone’s memory of me.

Then there’s a lightning strike,

Illuminating the sky with memories so lifelike.

I see my grandfather looking at me through a camera lense.

I stand there as a child,

Exposed,

With no defense.

The lightning strikes once more

Kicking open the door

To memories that now downpour.

As they wash over me I see my father ashamed of what came to be.

What came to light tainted his memory of me.

The wind whispers in my ear,

"No one would mind if you’d disappear.

Just let go and drown here."

I’m desperate to stay afloat,

Grabbing at what’s left of my raft as water floods my throat.

I fall below the surface,

My cries for helped silenced by the ocean,

Making me wordless.

Suddenly I see a light and something reach down.

As it pulls me up I realize something profound.

As I feel that first breath of air I experience life at its most bare.

The flood of emotion hurts at first

But it’s followed with relief.

As I look up,

I see I was wrong in my belief.

I lay rescued on the boat floor

Surrounded by friends and family

Because I’m someone they care for.

As soon as they saw me float out

They followed on a rescue boat worried about

What that isolation might sprout.

I wasn’t escaping a society that didn’t value me,

I was running deeper into myself,

getting lost in my PTSD, depression, and anxiety.

It’s here that i realize i need outside help.

If I was left to myself I’d be lying motionless with the kelp.

They bring me back ashore and I feel more loved and wanted than ever before.

I follow their lead

And proceed to get the help I so desperately need.

I’m determined to not let my PTSD,

Depression,

And anxiety

Mislead and impede me from living the life I want to lead.

I learn healthy ways to cope

And no longer feel like my mental illness is trying to strangle me with a rope.

For the first time in a long time I’m filled with hope.

A couple years go by and I find myself at the place I almost died.

I look out to the ocean

And with a sigh,

Wonder why.

Why I withdrew from everyone I knew.

Why I isolated myself