The Painted Shades of My Soul

By Anita Carter

Passionate and emotionally driven, "The Painted Shades of My Soul" is a journey into the raw emotion and wisdom that can be found in life's most tempestuous waters. Anita Carter has sought to capture the intensity of each emotion as it occurred in her life. Time moves us forward like the current of a river and along the way we grow and change. Those charged moments of transformation still linger in our beings and resonate within these pages.

Anita Carter's poetry exudes beauty and power in its conveyance of life's moments of adversity, inspiration, and love. Each moment is captured, examined, and placed on the page in lyrical clarity.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Oct 14, 2020
• ISBN: 9781735453712

Book preview

Author

Double Edged Sword of Misery (Adversity)

Emotion’s Vent Piece #3

A downward spiral of unsteady emotions,

Hard to control,

Push me down into a bottomless pit

Piercing my soul

Sunrays beaming through my darkness

The only light I can see

Are being cut off with each entering thought

Of Negativity

And desperately

I’m trying to use my rationality

To stop my acidic tears from burning my eyes completely

I can’t feign, it’s hard to stay true when feelings arise

From circumstances that are unable to be minimized

To know the natural state of my seed

Would be distorted from what keeps me alive

Causes all my desires to be acclimatized

Unjust reactions brew within the living fluids inside of me

Raging hormonal tendencies

Cast me into a lonesome singularity

Don’t think my sensitivity

Is a newfound proclivity

It’s just that my capacity to hold it within my self’s body

Has become worn down with each and every difficulty

I’ve had to deal with and overcome and try to take with a grain of salt

Can’t look at my reflection for too long

Without placing some type of fault

Upon me

Even though I possessed no authority

Upon the occurrences and conditions and all of my contingencies

And I try to tell myself what good is pleasure without pain

How can you know how sweet the Sun feels if you’ve never felt the Rain.

But still sometimes I can’t help, but surrender myself to a pitied state

And it is there that I see the darkness and feel the guilty emotional weight

Like mental lashes leaving unremovable scars on my mind

Hope was stolen away making it impossible to find

An equal balance of emotion, left me wondering why

A serenity comes from the depression that hides inside

Of me

Is this real

For when I close my eyes I can see

Myself running away from all of my goals and my dreams

Contradiction is friend to agony, slowly consuming my heart with sorrow

No time left for me to borrow

This truth kills my vision, stealing my tomorrow

I am this woman whose soul would rather leave the home it’s known

Than deal with voices that echo inside of a nightmare that shows

People inside of a circle surrounding me

Shouting obscenities

Placing me into categories

Dissecting the complex shades of me

Until I become a simple fallacy

Screaming who they think I want to be

When all I wanted was to make them see

The spirit that lives inside my body

The soul that wants to be free

Not in trying to forget my ancestry

But to embrace all of God’s creations equally

But my eyes

But our eyes

Be the trigger

Creating our destiny

To furthering my mind, to