Factory Settings of a Submissive

By iUniverse

Factory Settings of a submissive, contains explicit content intended for adults. Including graphic sexual descriptions, adult language and content that is not suitable for anyone under the age of 18. View at your own discretion.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Oct 27, 2020
• ISBN: 9781663210364

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Copyright © 2020 Anonymous.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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ISBN: 978-1-6632-1035-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6632-1036-4 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2020920209

iUniverse rev. date: 12/30/2020

Contents

June 19th

Terms of Our Partnership

July 6th

July 8th

July 10th

July 12th

July 1th

July 250th

July 20th (later)…

July 24th

August 10st

August 1th

August 15th

August 20th

August 22nd

September 2nd

September 15th

September 22nd

September 25th

October 2nd

October 22nd

November 1st

November 12th

November 20th

December 12th

December 24th

January 8th

January 20th

February 12th

February 21st

February 21st continued…

March 5th

April 1st

April 7th

April 9th

May 4th

May 13th

June 6th

June 19th

June 23rd

July 10th

July 28th

August 8th

August 20th

August 30th

September 15th

September 27th

November 3rd

November 22nd

Colin XXXXXX

You have my

permission to read my words.

Nobody else has my consent to read further. Especially

my son and parents! Even if I’m dead. I share this part of

me solely with the person who merits my full trust.

Yours completely,

Cheryl XXXX

June 19th

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Call me little whore. It is all that I ask of you. I cannot tell you how elated I am to be your sexy little submissive. For now, I can only imagine the endless possibilities of what I will endure. As you requested, I have been researching all things BDSM, and I’m beginning to understand what it takes to be a good sub—or as you like to call me, your little whore. Kink domain is incredibly fascinating to me. I care deeply for you, so it concerned me to learn that the gift of submission can sometimes be a burden. I want you to know I understand, and I trust you with this side of me. I await your command and honor the gift you give me in return for my submission. I love appreciating what you do. Thank you so much for taking care of me.

This week I studied the basics of being submissive. I think of these as standard factory settings—how a sub should start out before their training. The first thing I started working on is changing how I speak. For example, using terms like babe with you is not respectful. Instead, I’m supposed to address you with a title such as Sir or Master. These seem so overused, and Daddy just doesn’t work for me. For now, I like calling you Mister, if that’s all right with you. Speaking to people from a submissive stance is something I’ve been working on. It’s a little tricky not being the lead or equal in a conversation, but it does work. I figured it out using peanut butter as an example (silly I know but bear with me). Suppose someone says they like chunky peanut butter better than smooth; I might say they’re wrong and crazy, and smooth peanut butter is way fucking better. They’d go on defending their peanut butter preference and insulting mine, and vice versa. If I were taking a submissive stance, however, I’d simply mention that I don’t really know anyone else who likes chunky peanut butter and ask them why they do. They’d go on leading the conversation because I invited them to engage rather than challenging them. Change the topic from peanut butter to politics or the latest conflict, and now everyone wants to explain their opinions instead of defending them. It’s fascinating how different general conversation has become since I started practicing this skill. I listen more, and when I do chime into the discussion, my opinions are more accepted. I even speak submissively at my job, and I’m getting noticed for it—in a good way!

The next step for me is focusing on my posture. As I read about submissive body language, I realized that I naturally hold myself in a mild, docile way—shoulders back, head tilted down. I don’t square up to people; instead I position myself off to the side. I hide my hands because I chewed my fingernails excessively as a child, and my mom would smack my hands when she noticed how bad they were. I need to work on keeping my feet closer together, and I should hold my arms back or even behind me, especially when you are around.

I’m also learning that most subs do subtle non-sexual tasks for their Doms. For example, the sub might add cream and sugar to the Dom’s coffee, fixing it perfectly for him without being asked. I’m really keen to try this! I’ve been thinking of things I can do for you, like fetching you a glass of ice water on a hot day, or the time I stayed over and massaged your back, gently scratching it until you fell asleep. It’s my way of showing my appreciation for all the things you do for me. After all, Mr. C, I have placed myself in your very capable hands.

Surprisingly, I have discovered many unexpected benefits to being a sub. I’ve been eating healthy, doing morning yoga, drinking way more water, and getting great sleep. I like being as fuckable as possible for you. At any time, you may access my body, so it had better be ready for anything. I’ve also been taking extra time to do my hair and makeup for the day. I want to look sharp. I’m wearing skirts way more often, showing off my legs; I even slip on sexy underwear, hoping for that slim chance we may cross paths during the day. I sorted through my entire wardrobe and donated everything that doesn’t flatter me. Even if I’m throwing on jeans and a t-shirt, I’ll take a few extra moments to tie my hair up in a messy bun or add a chunky bracelet. I feel more secure these days, like I fit in. Also, since I’ve been thinking about BDSM so much, I’ve been masturbating almost every day!

I’ve even done some reading about how subs can ruin relationships. A good sub shouldn’t be clingy; they should be independent when away from the Dom. Sexual power play is a balance of give and take. This balance is even more important in non-sexual situations; therefore, I should always invite you to take the lead and support you. Both subs and Doms can ask for too much, so communication is essential. It was eye-opening to read how some inexperienced subs behave defiantly on purpose—a mistake that’s quite common in coupled relationships. It isn’t the sub’s duty to constantly test the Dom’s ability to control the scene. One Mistress noted this may seem kinky at first, but it quickly becomes annoying. She always prefers when a sub makes honest mistakes in their training. Pain play isn’t entirely a punishment; it is a powerful release as well. Skilled Doms will incorporate pain play to stimulate emotional reactions and basically force you to feel overwhelmed, since the body’s natural response to stress heightens all sensations and emotions. This is referred as sub space, a trance-like state that is often described as euphoric. I understand it as both an emotional and physical release. Some couples engage in BDSM roleplay, playing out a kinky scene together. Doms call this surface play, as the dynamics between the two are more neutral than they would be in true BDSM. These types of partners may come with challenges because they struggle to become fully submissive. In the end, however, most Dom/sub relationships are ruined by one thing: fake Doms. Being beat up by an egotistical asshole acting out his rape fantasies is a very real fear for many, including me.

Did you know there are different types of submissives? I didn’t! Here are some basic subclassifications I’ve discovered: There are Baby Girls (they need their Daddy), Adult Babies (I just can’t do diapers), Princesses (they like to be spoiled and get whatever they want), and Pets (meow). Switches flip back-and-forth from submissive to Dominant, but I’m quite certain I won’t be crossing that line. The Wife or Old Lady seems interesting…like a good-old-days housewife, it’s a full-time role that includes financial domination. Brats live for punishment, so they always get in trouble. Cuckholds I just can’t wrap my head around, and for some reason I feel a little sorry for them. I can’t see myself sitting outside the door while you wildly screw another woman, both of you degrading me and telling me that if I’m lucky I might get to lick you clean. Then we come to the Slave; this is very extreme kink play where the sub is under the Dom’s orders at all times. I think the Slave represents the ultimate surrender of the self; they provide completely for their Master. The Gimp is the end of the line. This sub is continuously treated like a sex hole. They are hooded, gauged, and bonded. Zero self-action. I’ve heard of some Gimps not even having a safe word. I Googled and watched a little Gimp porn, and I felt terrible for them. I honestly want to set them free and start a vegan, free-range Rescue the Gimps organization.

The label that feels most perfect to me is the Doll. I want to be your plaything. My particular model might be a bit of a broken doll, but is nonetheless a great plaything with plenty of features. I will dress up in any costume or outfit that you desire. I like dressing up or just being clean and naked for you. I’m here to play any role, take any position, and go on any adventure with you. There are endless accessories your Doll would love to wear for you, such as wigs, gloves, and fur. I wear size Small in most clothing, a 34C bra, and a size 6 shoe. I hope I will soon have a few very adorable leather outfits for my special beatings. Plus, toys. I may even need my own toy box.

As your Doll, I will communicate when I want you to STOP by saying the safe word. I will ask for a break when needed. You dominate our sexual encounters and BDSM acts. You can attend sex clubs and participate in group sex with me while we are in our personal relationship. I aim to be trained and disciplined to fulfill your needs. I agree to our exclusive terms, and consent to obtain your permission before I engage with anyone else sexually if you are not present. My sexual personality is positive, kind, and fun. Please know I do not wish to be bullied or yelled at abusively. I am also discreet and know the importance of respecting of our personal arrangement. When in doubt in any given situation, I think we should treat each other how we wish to be treated and cared for.

I’m good, giving, and game (GGG) for pretty much everything in our new partner agreement. I trust you, though I get nervous trying new sexual acts. I’m a little worried I may get nonverbal and not tell you to stop. I know you will check in whenever it is needed. While I’m still exploring my submissive side, I may also have problems communicating. I will continue to work on being fully open with you.

In this journal, I have created a safe space where I can write about my submissive journey and share myself with you. You and only you are allowed to read it, for as long as you are my Dom. I want to get deeply personal and share all my filthy thoughts with you. Thanks for reading…

Xo

Ms. c

Here is the link to my file share: [scheme://servername.iwoulddieifany

onereadthis.com/folder]

I’ll shoot you a little text whenever I write something, letting you know it’s there.

Password: magical2bean (same password as my FetLife account).

P.S. As long as you have my house key…the answer is always yes. Come over anytime.

[372 Mission Street, Apt 1705]

Terms of Our Partnership

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These terms may be subject to change at any time.

As follows:

• Taco is our safe word (we need to come up with a serious one)

• Blindfolding ok

• Exploring bondage ok

• Photography and video ok, but secured

• Spanking open-hand ok; maybe a little belt or flogger

• Very light choking; no suffocation

• No fisting

• Anal yes, but in training

• Maybe to group sex and swinging

• Aftercare yes; we need cuddles

• Outfits yes

• Roleplaying yes

• Melted candle wax no

• Sex toys yes

• Suspension yes

• Water sports no (at this time)

• Special care with right elbow/knee and ribs with bondage

• Binding yes

• Restricting airway, no

• Humiliation no (please)

• I don’t want to be hit by a female; my mom and other girls hit me, so I hit back

• Electric shock, no

• Food maybe (depends on food)

• Nothing cold

• Scat - hard no

• Do not tickle me – I hate it

July 6th

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I’ve never had anything even close to a BDSM experience yet—no bondage, blindfolding, spankings, or clamps. Whatever you have planned for me is supposed to happen two weeks from now. I really want to go through with this, but I’m also scared I’m going to chicken out and use the safe word. I’m middle aged and my body is in good shape for the most part, though I still live with some pain from being critically injured in an accident when I was 21. I’m petite at 5'2" and weighed in at 126lbs this morning. I wear glasses. My green eyes are my favorite feature, but my tits are also pretty great. My blonde hair is getting longer, now reaching the middle of my back. I know I’m going to look stunning with grey hair, so I’m keeping my locks natural. I’m a non-smoker. I drink on occasion and try to keep active. I’m a vegan, but not a very good one; I’ve had my official vegan card revoked because I wear leather boots, own clothing made from animals, and cook meat for others.

I really hate this term, but I’m a bit of a serial monogamist. For my entire adult life, I’ve been in one long-term relationship after another. I need to trust my partner before I can express my kinky side. Sadly, these relationships often seemed to run their course before we reached that point. With you, everything is different. After all this time, we keep rocking each other’s worlds. When I asked you to be my Dom, it changed you. You stood up straighter and made eye contact. You stopped asking; now you request. I love how you took charge and sent me off to do my research. You told me I needed to know what I wanted and what I was getting into. Your fingers on my chin, you lifted my head towards you, saying, You need to be certain this is what you want.

It’s the start of summer, and life is pretty good these days. My job is going well, you’re amazing, and for a long time nothing really bad has happened. Yet as I get older, I’m starting to feel like I’m missing out. I’ve always wanted great sex. Don’t get me wrong, I love what you do to me, but I’ve never had the opportunity to break taboos or explore fantasies with any of my past partners. I’ve always been sex positive—the type of friend people feel safe telling their dirty secrets to. Someone’s sexual relationship mostly happens behind their closed bedroom door, so who am I to judge? Besides, I’m secretly a little jealous whenever I hear these stories. Right before I met you, I vowed I was going to stop getting into these same, unfulfilling relationships. I was going to explore my turn-ons and have the sexual experiences I’ve always wanted. I was even seeing a therapist. I realized I had never been with anyone who could or would keep pace with me. I love fetish wear, and when watching porn, I tend to favor more hardcore BDSM genres. Yet all these years, I’ve given in to my partners and ended up settling for sex that doesn’t thrill me. It’s stupid how much I put into a relationship only to be left propping the entire thing up and then being rejected. I was a late bloomer in my teens, and in my twenties I was recovering from that serious accident. In my thirties, I’m a mom. A single mom! I feel like I’m at the end of a rope; I have to either claw my way to the top, or let it go for good.

My most recent ex, Brad, is an all-around good guy. He’s the reason I ended up on a therapist’s couch. To be honest. I really thought he was going to be in my life forever. All the boxes were checked: we both loved hockey and music, we were close in age, and our boys were only a few months apart. The kids were very close, like brothers. We met in a department store’s toy section, where our boys were checking out every toy they could reach. They were both six years old and were instant friends. I noticed Brad was looking at me, sucking in his dad gut and standing a little taller. He made small talk, saying how we didn’t have things like this when were kids. Then his son ran up with a Spiderman web shooter toy and mentioned taking it to Mom’s place; his cousin had the same one, and he wanted to shoot him back. Brad said that whenever he buys something that goes to Mom’s place, he never sees it again. At that, I held out my hand and introduced myself. We shook hands, and I smiled, saying, Would you two like to go to that Starbucks with us…right now? They did! Brad was perfect for me. It felt like I had found my missing half and we were made for each other. He broke my heart just shy of three years later.

July 8th

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Never have I ever told anyone about this, but I did cheat on Brad during the first few months of our relationship. I never intended to fuck someone else. There was an opportunity, I was really turned on, and it happened. I’d never cheated on anyone before, and I haven’t done it since. Here’s what happened: I’d been invited to an out of town barbecue where the only person I knew was the host, Mike. Actually, it was really fun—lots of beer and food, the weather was perfect, and they had a great big hot tub. There were 20 or so people there, and everyone seemed so lovely and chill. Right away I met Rhonda, who was there with her boyfriend. He was an asshole (I can’t even remember his name), but Rhonda and I clicked immediately. We hung out chatting about everything while her man-child drank like he was in a competition. Before the meat was even on the grill, while Rhonda and I were chatting in the backyard, her guy barged over and cut between us, wrapping an arm around each of us and blurting to the entire party that we should all have a threesome. When we didn’t take him up on it, he staggered away into the crowd, continuing to drink even more and get even louder. Rhonda was embarrassed and wanted to leave, but I convinced her to stay. I just had to ask her what all that was about! Rhonda told me that she had always found herself attracted to women; she had mentioned this to her boyfriend, and now he was hell-bent on having a threesome. She confided that he’d been nice in the beginning, but his drinking was getting pretty intense. Throw in any number of other party favors he could get his hands on, and you had the recipe for an overage frat boy. I felt bad for her. When we were alone, I leaned in and asked her if she was bi-curious. She bit her lip and told me she was. So, she wouldn’t feel ashamed, I started talking about my experience dating and hooking up with women.

Rhonda was five years younger than me and stood about 5'8"—a brunette with big brown eyes and hair just past her shoulders. We hung out all night. I didn’t mention to anyone at the barbecue that I was seeing Brad. I don’t know why; maybe I just wanted a few hours of not feeling tied down. I was drinking rye that night, and when I found myself alone in the tiny half bathroom with Rhonda, I kissed her. She stayed very still at first, but then she parted her lips to taste me. I slowly pressed my tongue into her mouth. Teasing her, I took her hands and slid them over my tits, then moved my own hands down and rubbed her shy pussy softly over her shorts. When I pulled away, she pressed her body into me, grinding against my hand. We made out for a few hot minutes up against the towel rack until someone knocked on the door. Snapping back into reality both of us realized, we were crammed into a tiny powder room beside the kitchen that everyone at this party relied on. Basically, this is the worst place to secretly make out with someone without being noticed. I suggested we have another drink, and she went out to the backyard to join the party for a bit.

Our host Mike was alone in the kitchen when I went in to fix drinks for Rhonda and me. I told him I didn’t mean to start any problems at his party, but I wanted to let him in on what was going on. If I suddenly had to leave without saying goodbye, he’d know why. This was such a lovely party, with a great mix of people who all shared the same kind of worldview. Mike told me that everyone there really liked me and I should stay there and get drunk with them. He said he’d always thought Rhonda’s guy was a prick, and he would have my back whatever happened. He even offered me his spare room for the night. Now I didn’t have to drive home! I