Settling in to Kink

By Sarah Korsikco

Talking about kink, BDSM, and other sexual topics can be tough for couples. It's even worse when only one half of the couple is interested in kink.

This book is meant for couples with an imbalanced interest in BDSM. It talks frankly about how a couple can manage their different interests, and how to make compromises that both people are happy with. If you want to help your partner embrace their own kinks without diving in deep to BDSM yourself, this book is for you.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sarah Korsikco
• Release date: Jul 5, 2020

Sarah Korsikco

Sarah Korsikco is a couples counselor and sexual health professional, as well as a landscape painter, portrait photographer, and author. She is proudly an ex-Christian, ex-feminist, and ex-wife. She found her liberation from these and many more illusions of the "normal" world earlier than some, but laments that we all have to unlearn so much. She hopes her books help you find liberation, in whatever form that is for you, sooner than later!

Book preview

Settling in with kink

by Sarah Korsikco

Published by Sarah Korsikco at Smashwords

Copyright 2020 Sarah Korsikco

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com or your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Introduction

It pains me that we have a term to identify uniqueness. The world is an impossibly diverse place, with a nearly impossible variety of thoughts and tastes represented by each one of over 6 billion people. Even allowing for what can be considered common, there is no normal or even usual, much less unusual. Each one of us has our own unique blend of interests and, yes, sexual turn-ons. The idea of kink is much more about what makes each of us special and unique, and not about how any of us deviate from an imagined norm.

We call our preferences kinks now to represent what each of us can bear to admit to. But the reality is that we should all feel comfortable admitting to anything. After all, all kinks start out as thoughts, ideas, or fantasies. Some of them need to stay that way, but others, with the right partner, can and should be acted upon.

Many people are afraid of kinks. There are many reasons for it, and we all know at least one or two of them. Getting comfortable with feelings that the world calls kinky or deviant or nasty isn’t easy. But it helps to acknowledge that your life is yours, alone, to live. It’s impossible, and it would be foolish anyway, to live according to someone else’s idea of what your life should be like. Lots of people can have feelings about how you conduct yourself, how you live your life, what you choose to do for a living, where you live, the clothes you wear, the music you listen to, and so on, but there are 6 billion people on the planet and there’s no way for you to solicit opinions from every one of them, much less adjust your behaviour to please them all.

What makes anyone else’s opinion more valid than your own?

Nothing is the answer, so embrace your uniqueness, and follow paths that are exciting to you.

Female domination for Men and Women

by Sarah Korsikco

Love and relationships are often seen as happy accidents. They’re things you can’t plan or anticipate; they just happen, and sometimes you’re lucky and you have something really good, while other times you get something less than ideal. Some people never get the ideal relationship, other people do, and still other people only get it for a little while before it dissolves. That’s the modern view of love, but there’s a better way to view it.

There is a way, in fact, to look at a relationship and to work at designing it for success. You can do this until you end up with exactly the relationship you want. It’s called female domination, and it’s not just for females.

If you’re a woman, you’ll be pleased to learn that female domination is mostly done by the man. The only requirement from the female dominant is acceptance.

Note about terminology

A female can’t dominate without someone being submissive, and if it’s explicitly female domination then the other half of the equation is assumed to be male for the purpose of what you’re reading now, because this is written for heterosexual couples. This also uses generic relationship terms, like wife and husband for the sake of convenience. It’s not meant to imply that a relationship must be based in legal or religious matrimony.

Female domination for men

The truth is, a man has sexual fantasies, and he lives his life in constant pursuit of reaching those fantasies. The fantasies don’t have to be elaborate, but then again they can be epic-length sagas of conquest and hedonism. It doesn’t matter, because in the end they’re all the same, telling the story of a man who works and works until at last he has an epic orgasm that delights his woman and delivers him to a state of sexual and personal nirvana.

You can add whatever ingredients to it you like, but that’s the universal heterosexual male sexual fantasy. So you can think of female domination as a woman acknowledging that a man has that sexual fantasy, and giving him permission to work to make it his reality. Making wild sex fantasies come true seems like a tall order, but it’s actually a lot simpler than you might think.

How it works

A male rarely realises it, but even an elaborate male sexual fantasy is blurry and ill-defined. A man could write a book from his fantasies, and at best they’ll involve a man having sex for days at a time, possibly with several different women. The details are unimportant, and in fact