On Ep 183 of American Sex Podcast, we talk with Sinclair Sexsmith about dominance & submission. While most are aware that Dom/sub play is common in kink, we also have a very narrow view of what it entails. D/s isn’t always cruel & authoritarian. We talk about the many ways people engage in D/s & how they find strength by surrendering to powerlessness, including: The different types of D/s & selecting areas of control Building healthy dynamics “Subs hold all the power” Balancing fantasy & reality “Giving up” safe words D/s as an “intimacy fetish” Deconstructing power Guest Bio – Sinclair Sexsmith SINCLAIR SEXSMITH (they/them) is an award-winning queer trans masc writer focusing on queer culture, trauma, dominance, submission, spiritual kink, and transgender and nonbinary issues. Sinclair’s creative nonfiction and queer erotica writings are widely published online and in more than thirty anthologies, including eight volumes of Best Lesbian Erotica series. They are the editor of Best Lesbian Erotica of the Year Volume 4, Volume 5, Volume 6, Best Lesbian Erotica 2012, Erotix: Literary Journal of Somatics, and Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica. Their short story collection, Sweet & Rough: Queer Kink Erotica, was a 2015 finalist for a Lambda Literary Award. Sinclair writes at sugarbutch.net since 2006, recognized numerous places as one of the top sex blogs. They have been teaching about erotic writing, the power of queer narratives, somatic arts, and many sex and kink techniques since 2002. Sinclair is an international leather titleholder, a pretty good cook, and an avid creative journaler. Follow all their work at patreon.com/mrsexsmith. Episode 183 Links Sinclair Sexsmith Quicklinks http://allmylinks.com/mrsexsmith Sinclair Sexsmith Twitter http://twitter.com/mrsexsmith Sinclair Sexsmith Instagram http://instagram.com/mrsexsmith Sinclair Sexsmith Facebook http://facebook.com/sugarbutch Sinclair Sexsmith Patreon http://patreon.com/mrsexsmith Sinclair Sexsmith Blog http://sugarbutch.net D/S Playground Classes https://dsplayground.com/ Sinclair Sexsmith Website https://www.mrsexsmith.com/ Is kink a sexual orientation? Discussion in American Sex Episode 181: https://sunnymegatron.com/kink-education-sunny-megatron-podcast/ The Dominance Playbook: Ways to Play With Power in Scenes and Relationships by Anton Fulmen https://www.amazon.com/Dominance-Playbook-Power-Scenes-Relationships/dp/0937609900 Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski https://www.amazon.com/Come-You-Are-Surprising-Transform/dp/1476762090 No Bullsh*t Intro to Kink workshop, Sunny Megatron/Sex Positive World 3/19/22 https://www.sexpositiveworld.org/event-details/a-no-bulls-it-intro-to-kink Resistbot: Send an email to your legislators asking them to vote NO on the Earn It Act https://resist.bot/petitions/PVLKLV or OR TEXT SIGN PVLKLV TO 50409 ACLU roundup of current anti-trans & anti-LGBTQ+ bills https://www.aclu.org/legislation-affecting-lgbtq-rights-across-country Legislation proposing bans of LGBTQIA+, racial & other “divisive” topics discussed/taught in classrooms https://www.edweek.org/policy-politics/heres-the-long-list-of-topics-republicans-want-banned-from-the-classroom/2022/02 GOP pushes anti-LGBTQ+ legislation https://www.msnbc.com/zerlina/watch/gop-pushes-anti-lgbtq-legislation-132900421866 Open Deeply Podcast http://opendeeplypodcast.com (Current guest Mollena Williams Haas) Sunny Megatron TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sunnymegatron Ken’s charity DnD game Mondays 4pm-7pm PT https://www.twitch.tv/thunderpantsacademy American Sex Podcast Discord Community http://bit.ly/discordasp American Sex Podcast Patreon http://patreon.com/americansex Kink Academy Online BDSM Learning Library http://bit.ly/kinkacademy Sunny’s Free Kink Negotiation & Scene Planning Mini-Workbook https://sunnymegatron.gumroad.com/l/negotiationwb   Episode 183 Sponsor & Affiliate Discount Codes/Links *by using our links & codes you