You Can Live Happily Married for a Lifetime: Practical Keys to Reboot Your Marriage and Get Back on Track

By Wendy Fierstein

You Can Live Happily Married For a Lifetime, will be invaluable for couples at every stage of their marital journey.

Discover the reasons why misunderstandings happen.

Resolve any challenge so that your marriage will be strengthened.

Find out how to reignite the passion.

Wendy Fierstein’s book You Can Live Happily Married For a Lifetime, is a down to earth, practical manual to help deal with the vicissitudes of modern marriage. Written with deep compassion, but expressed in plain language easily grasped. Ms. Fierstein gives earnest and pragmatic ways to solve the marital difficulties that plague us all. She also does so with an abiding gentleness and love for those she seeks to help. This is a very useful and valuable contribution to the therapy of marriage literature. - Harry Cohen M.D.

You Can Live Happily Married For a Lifetime is beautifully written and will be very instrumental in improving your marriage. Finally ...... a book on marriage that will help couples start it right and keep it right. - Sandra Riediger R.N., D.C.

This book, You Can Live Happily Married For a Lifetime, is very informative and will benefit the couples who read it and apply it in their marriage. Couples can see themselves in almost every example even long married couples like my husband and I who have been married for 40 years. - Eva Kurtz M.A.

The high divorce rate motivated Wendy Fierstein to became a mediator and create the Peace and Harmony Technique that ultimately evolved into this book.

You can revitalize your relationship to last happily for a lifetime.

Marriage really does work!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Aug 30, 2020
• ISBN: 9781982245979

Wendy Fierstein

Wendy Fierstein has been a mediator through the L.A. County Bar Association. She studied psychology, leadership, management, and communication skills at the University of California, Los Angeles. She has also studied neuro-linguistic programming and is a certified Medical Qi Gong instructor. In 2002, she created the Peace and Harmony Technique to help couples overcome challenges. She has been married since 1982.

Book preview

Copyright © 2020 Wendy Fierstein.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Balboa Press

A Division of Hay House

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.balboapress.com

844-682-1282

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

ISBN: 978-1-9822-4596-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-4597-9 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date: 08/28/2020

Contents

About the Author

Introduction

Chapter 1 – In the Beginning

Chapter 2 – Know Yourself

Chapter 3 – Know Your Partner

Chapter 4 – The Differences

Chapter 5 – The Mighty Challenge

Chapter 6 – Rekindling the Passion

Chapter 7 – Everlasting

Chapter 8 – In the End

My deepest appreciation to the following people

for their guidance and support:

Harry Cohen, MD

Sandra Riediger, RN, DC

Lynne Walker, PharmD, DHom, Lac

Eva Kurtz, MA

Rabbi Zushe Cunin

and, most important,

my husband, my life mate

I am so grateful

to the Source of all wisdom.

32830.png

This book is dedicated

to the children where there is conflict in the home.

I picked up a copy of this book right before my wedding last year. Fierstein’s expert advice is easily absorbed and provides the practical knowhow to navigate through those first year challenges that many of us newlyweds face after the final thank you cards go out. Would highly recommend to all couples both young and old.

—Gabriella Bock, Reporter at the Palisadian-Post 5 star

Beautifully written gem filled with insight, wisdom and practical advice. This is so much more than another book on marriage. It’s a powerful tool for people of all ages, whether in new or seasoned relationships. If you are already in a happy marriage, you can still learn and find inspiration. And if you’re in a less than happy marriage, please give this book a try. It will make a difference.

—Esther Amiri 5 Stars

I found it inspiring with basic thought provoking advice that if used in our everyday lives would make a better place to live.

—Sue C

Wendy Fierstein’s book You Can Live Happily Married for a Lifetime is warm and easy to read. It offers practical solutions that you can implement right away, so that you can start improving your marriage right now! This book is not only useful for resolving challenges, but it also benefits good marriages - there is always room for improvement. This book will be extremely helpful to marriages in every stage. I highly recommend this book.

—Afsy P

I wanted to tell you that I am absolutely loving your book. Everything about it. The way it is easy to read, to relate to, to visualize and how it makes solutions simple and accessible. It feels warm, human, comfortable and comforting as well as deeply wise and certain. Already putting it into my life with success.

—Amanda K.

This book should be required reading.

—Les K

Wish I read this book 40 years ago.

—Sandy K

This book is very much needed.

—Monica P

This book is filled with great information to help couples have a lasting marriage. Whether you are just starting out, or have been married for quite awhile, this book offers great advice for problem solving, communicating better, keeping a spark in your marriage and more. If you are looking to improve your marriage, or just some good advise to keep a loving lasting marriage, I would highly recommend reading this book.

—Barbara Rodgers 5 Stars, author of the book ‘Wholley Cow: A Simple Guide to Eating and Living

While there are numerous books on this topic, Fierstein’s book is written in easy to understand language …… The book covers marriages that are fairly new as well as those that have lasted for decades ….. Everyone can find themselves in these pages.

— Palisades News

You Can Live Happily Married For a Lifetime by Wendy Fierstein is a wonderful book for new marriages or even if you have been married for years! It is filled with practical advice, along with examples to help learn from. It is written in an easy reading style, with guides and advice for many different situations. It is written in a way that you can easily refer back to sections for advice. So many great tools to use in your relationship! A wonderful guide for those about to get married! Should be required reading before the wedding! Very well done!

—Green Gables Book Reviews

About the Author

At a very young age, Wendy Fierstein became interested in observing the relationships of couples in her environment. Her natural tendency as a peacemaker enabled her to see, though she did not yet understand, the mercurial potential of marriage.

The shockingly high divorce rate saddened Wendy but also inspired her to utilize her peacemaking abilities.

Over the past thirty years, Wendy became a mediator through the Los Angeles County Bar Association; studied leadership, management, and communication skills at UCLA; and studied psychology and neurolinguistic programming. She has researched health and nutrition since 1985 and esoteric teachings since 1989. She is a certified medical Qigong instructor.

Over the years, Wendy has studied the works of many experts in the field of marriage—reading numerous books and attending many courses, lectures and seminars. Ultimately she became a mediator to help couples revitalize their marriage.

In 2002, Wendy created the Peace and Harmony Technique™ to help couples overcome the challenges that prevent relationships from reaching their potential.

This book is the culmination of twenty-five years of research.

Wendy and her husband have been married since 1982.

Introduction

You will help many people with this book, one reader told me. A jolt of excitement ran through me, That’s my goal, I replied.

With a resounding yes, I can excitedly say that you can be happily married—and yes, you can achieve peace and harmony in your relationship. Marriage really does work!

Now I’m not saying that your marriage will be happy 100 percent of the time or that you will be happy with your spouse 100 percent of the time. All relationships have their ups and downs, we all go through rough patches and sometimes we don’t like our spouse very much. But, we don’t dwell in that space and we must not allow ourselves to get stuck there. This book will guide you out of those marital pitfalls.

The suggestions and ideas in this book were gleaned from various teachings that I came across during my studies and search for my own marital relief. They have been around forever, which is a true testament to their ability to transform marriage. It’s like having a manual or blueprint that will show you how to navigate your marriage. What I truly love about these suggestions is that they are practical, gentle, and kind, but at the same time, they have the most profound, positive effect that you could ever imagine.

This book will be helpful no matter what stage your marital journey. From newly engaged and newlywed to long-term relationships. It will help improve your marriage and resolve challenges that are preventing your relationship from being harmonious.

With marriage, as with anything else in life, we need to know how to proceed in order to succeed. The know-how to make something successful is essential to the process.

I have applied these ideas in my own marriage, and I have seen for myself that they can renew and revitalize a relationship. Others have done the same and have achieved their goals regarding their marriage.

Sadly, the divorce rate is astoundingly high. When it comes to consecutive marriages, the divorce rate appears to be even higher! What are we doing wrong?

Over the years, different ideas, methods, and suggestions have been put forth by our modern-day relationship ‘experts’, but not many of them seem to help people create a successful marriage. As a result, many people feel that a happy marriage is unattainable. But I can say to you with absolute confidence, it definitely is achievable.

Numerous books have been written about marriage, but it’s difficult do discern which ones would helpful. This book is a collection of proven practical ideas and suggestions, it will save you from having to read so many others just to learn a few good points. Even more important, this book will help you improve your marriage so that it will reach its full potential.

I want with all my heart for your initial intentions regarding your marriage to be fulfilled.

I am confident that after reading this book, you will be empowered with the knowledge to create a loving, peaceful, and harmonious marital journey.

With love and gratitude,

Wendy

32841.png

Chapter 1

In the Beginning

Why is the divorce rate so high? Can marriage really last for a lifetime? And …. is it meant to last for a lifetime? Could you unknowingly be jeopardizing your marriage?

Let’s take a look.

To answer these questions, let’s go back to the beginning just for a moment. Why do we have marital vows in the first place? Commitment. Why is it so important to be committed to your marriage? It is at the foundation of being able to trust and love your partner without fear of being betrayed, and in turn allows you to feel peaceful and secure in your relationship.

You are probably thinking, Betrayal! That’s the reason for the majority of divorces. I’m going to respond, That’s because commitment was never taken seriously to begin with.

Most people think, If it doesn’t work out, I’ll just get a divorce. It’s just a piece of paper. This is the furthest thought from the truth!

Our ancestors knew that marriage vows were a bonding of the souls. Guided by sage advice they built strong family units that were fundamental to their survival and, consequently, a peaceful society.

At some point in history, they stopped sharing this important knowledge with the generations that followed. Over time, these marital treasures were forgotten, and married couples no longer had the guidance they provided.

Fortunately for us, this timeless wisdom is being revealed through teachings from various sources. This knowledge will help you find the obstacles preventing your relationship from reaching its full potential, and understand how to correct them.

We all want to know how to handle our marital challenges efficiently so that our relationship will be strengthened and not damaged. In this chapter, you will learn why misunderstandings happen. Chapters 2, 3, and 4 will prepare you for chapter 5, The Mighty Challenge, which explains how to resolve and defuse any disagreements or discord that might arise. Most people tear down their marriage during an argument, but the suggestions in chapter 5 will instead help you strengthen and grow your relationship. Chapters 6 and 7 will guide you in reigniting the passion in your marriage to make it last harmoniously for a lifetime. As I mentioned earlier, I’m not saying that you will always be 100 percent happy with your marriage or your spouse 100 percent of the time. We are human, and all humans have ups and downs, even within themselves. To expect your partner to always be perfect and make you happy would be setting yourself up for disappointment.

Unfortunately, many people today are choosing not to get married, proclaiming that marriage doesn’t work. But with this proven and time tested guidance, marriage definitely works! It’s the lack of true commitment and knowledge of how to be married that creates barriers to harmony.

Most people get married because they have dreams of sharing their lives with the one they love, of growing old together. After a while, however, some couples feel so frustrated and disappointed that they say, I just can’t do it anymore. My marriage isn’t working. The foundation of their marriage has been eroded from constant mishandling of their disagreements, causing the couple to eventually feel burned out. This is not an uncommon problem, and it doesn’t mean their marriage is over. It just means that they need to pay attention to their relationship and communication skills.

The information that follows will help you and your spouse reboot your marriage. It will enable you to transform your relationship into one that will make you both feel safe and loved; and navigate the ups and downs of life together.

You will also learn how to create a relationship based on a foundation of love, trust, respect, commitment, and harmony, making your marriage a rock in your life. This rock will be sustaining, supportive, and vital, and it will continue to get stronger so it lasts for a lifetime.

All relationships go through rough patches. When this happens, successful couples tend not to ignore or exacerbate the problem. Instead they immediately work on resolving it in order to bring their marriage back into alignment as soon as possible.

The Mystical Side of Marriage

A key to getting your marriage back on track is

to realize that you were given the ability to find

your perfect life partner—your amazing spouse.

Believe it or not, your spouse is the perfect one to help you grow and achieve your full personal