The Morning After Mourning: Joy Comes in the Morning

By Vickee Martin RN BSN

Grief is very hard work and the worst grief is your own. After a devastating loss I put my grief work on hold, until I thought there would be a more convenient season. I had two grieving teenagers, worked 120 hours every two weeks and I was going to school to get my BSN in nursing. When I least expected it, the impact of the loss overwhelmed me. If something triggered me, I would burst into tears, during the most inopportune times. Grief work is a step-by-step process, and it can not be rushed. The presence of loved ones and friends helped. It was almost easier if no words were spoken. I was reminded of Job’s comforters. The most comforting friend was the one who remained present with him and said nothing. To self soothe, I read, I prayed, I wept and I searched the scriptures, as well as any information that would help me through the grieving process. It was during my searching, both scriptures and information, that brought me the most relief. Jesus had truly sent His Comforter, which I was so grateful for! It was during those very difficult hours that the Holy Spirit prompted me to write a handbook on how to process and move through the grieving process. Grief work cannot be ignored. Denial is a functional coping strategy for a short period of time, to get important things done, but it truly can not be put off for long.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jan 15, 2020
• ISBN: 9781973683209

Vickee Martin RN BSN

Vickee Martin, RN, BSN worked in a hospital for over two decades on a team that provided compassionate support to patients and their families during a crisis or grief related to loss. After retirement, she partnered with two other Christian women to develop a thirteen-week series to help people work or journey through the grieving process.

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Copyright © 2020 Vickee Martin, RN, BSN.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

WestBow Press

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

ISBN: 978-1-9736-8319-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-8320-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2020900353

WestBow Press rev. date: 01/07/2020

To my sons, Christopher and Jerome Martin, who have always stood by me.

To my daughter-in-law, Angela Martin, who I am privileged to call daughter.

To my four grandsons, Atticus, Ethan, Seth, and Liam Martin, who continue to bless my soul.

To my many wonderful friends, including Janie Ewers and Beverlee McGowan, who are always open to doing fun things!

Contents

Introduction

Grief

Betty’s Story

Normal Reactions to Loss or Crisis

Mary’s Story

The Physiological Reactions to Distress

Stages of Grief

Tasks of Grieving

Grief Recovery Concepts

Amy’s Story

A Child’s Reaction to Grief

How You Can Live with Loss

Unfinished Business

How to Complete Unfinished Business

Conclusion

References

Introduction

Sorrow affects us all, and during our lives, we grieve on many occasions. The death of a loved one, a divorce, or loss of a job can affect us profoundly and will cause us to grieve.

Grief is hard work. The more devastating a loss is to you, the more your grief will need work and the harder you will need to grieve. Knowing the tasks and stages of grief will enable you to work through your grief.

The Lord is the only one who understands your grief completely, and He can provide the best source of support. Jesus said, Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest