Diary of a Weeping Widow: From Mourning to Morning

By Toni Singleton Adams Ed.S

This book is designed to assist widows in understanding their primary and secondary losses, changes in relationships, finances, and emotional well-being. It is purposely written in order to address the many life altering changes that become a part of a widow’s new life. This book chronicles the personal journey of the author. Its diary format accompanied with advice makes it user friendly and an easy read. Throughout the book you will find Biblical references to encourage, support, and comfort a grieving heart.

Each section discuss a specific concern that a widow would possibly face while on her journey. Part 1 focuses on a widow’s new role, changes in relationships and various emotions .Part 2 emphasizes a widow’s finances, legal matters and estate planning. Part 3 closes with a deeper relationship with God, personal testimonies, and miraculous healing. The book concludes with a list of several resources and interesting facts about widows.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Dec 14, 2018
• ISBN: 9781532052286

Toni Singleton Adams Ed.S

Toni Adams became a widow after 34 years of marriage. At 52 years old, she was suddenly faced with challenges that she never imagined would exist. After grabbing hold to her faith, she is now restored, whole, and experiencing a new found joy. Toni is currently serving her 30th year in education. She has an educational specialist degree in K-12 leadership from Grand Canyon University. She recently completed her Life Coach certification. Her future plans include developing a non-profit organization that assist and support widows and authoring another book. Toni is the widow of a prominent local pastor and initially thought she lost her purpose. However, now she knows her mission is to serve those that are bereaved or widowed. Toni joined New Hope Baptist Church of Deltona, Florida in November of 2015. Currently she works with the pastoral care team. She is the mother of 2 daughters and 5 grandchildren. She resides near the St. John’s River in the beautiful city of Sanford, which is located in Central Florida.

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Copyright © 2018 Toni Singleton Adams Ed.s.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Scripture quotations marked KJV are from the Holy Bible, King James Version (Authorized Version). First published in 1611. Quoted from the KJV Classic Reference Bible, Copyright © 1983 by The Zondervan Corporation.

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ISBN: 978-1-5320-5229-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5320-5228-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018912132

iUniverse rev. date: 12/13/2018

CONTENTS

Introduction

Prologue

Part 1: The Struggles Of Being A Widow

The Challenge of Getting to Know Me

Hello

You Want the Truth or the Lie?

Invisible

The New Me

Who Is My Neighbor?

To Work or Not to Work, That Is the Question

A New Role

Where Are You?

Nightly Runs

Single or Widowed

I Am Not the Only Widow

It Didn’t Happen to You

Widow to Widow

What Now?

It’s Mourning Time

4:55 A.M.

Triggers

Do the Dead Talk?

I Didn’t Forget It’s Our Anniversary

Surviving versus Living

Crazy or Grieving?

Truth Is Stranger than Fiction

Battle Scars

Rejected Stone

Now What?

You Couldn’t Wait?

Negative People Got to Go!

Victimized

The Island of Misfit Toys

In-Laws, Ex-Laws, and Outlaws

These Three

Part 2: The Business Side of Being a Widow

Dotting Every I and Crossing Every T

A Widow’s Might

Checklist

Smart Investments

Show Me the Money

Record It or Write It Down

A Widow’s Vocabulary Words

Part 3: The Miraculous Power of God’s Healing

Metamorphosis

The ABCs of Widowhood

Pruning

There Are Two Kinds of People in the World

Is It the Devil or God?

Thank You, Lord

Shall We Dance?

How Much Do I Owe?

Memory Lane

Saying Farewell

My Wedding Rings

His Stuff

Good Night

The Bedroom

Living the Good Life

Forgive Me—I Was Wrong

Oh, Happy Day

Grandma

My People

My Christmas Present, 2015

The Power of Love

Spiritual Awakening

The Healing Place

New Hope

The Lord Is My Shepherd

Levels of Christianity

My Last Will and Testament

At the End of the Day

Mourning to Morning

Summary: A Christian’s Responsibility

Resources for Widows

Special Days for Widows

Facts about Widows

Scriptural Mentions of Widows

Statistics about Widows

Famous Young Widows/Widowers

Ways to Help Widows

Seven Ways Churches Can Show They Care about Widows

References

AN EXPLANATION OF

THE FRONT COVER

ILLUSTRATION

The picture on the front of this book has three pivotal items mentioned in Maya Angelou’s On the Pulse of the Morning. This poem was recited during former president William J. Clinton’s inauguration in 1993. The poem’s overall theme is a message of inclusion within our country. In the poem, she repeatedly speaks of the rock, the river, and the tree. The rock symbolizes strength. The river is symbolic of life. The tree planted by the water is the premise of the inspirational gospel song I Shall Not be Moved, which is often sung in African American congregations. The origin of this message stems from Psalm 1:3. The tree is a reminder that nothing shall shake our faith, for it is planted and deeply rooted. To weather the storm of grief, depression, and loss, we need to speak life, have strength to overcome, and hold on to faith.

26.JPG

In Memory of My Loving Husband

Ben was a devoted husband and a caring father. He served as a pastor, community activist, and friend to many. He mentored many youth during his thirty-two years in education. He had a heart of compassion for anyone in need. In 2014, Ben represented Seminole County Public Schools as the School-Related Employee of the Year. In less than three months after receiving this honor, he went home to be with the Lord.

INTRODUCTION

This three-year journal is dedicated to widows, their families, and their friends. It is my desire that widows and their loved ones gain a greater insight regarding the world of widowhood. Simultaneously, I wish for everyone to know and understand my story. It is not necessarily every widow’s story. Grief is unique as our DNA. No two widows are identical.

This book represents my personal journey, which may or may not have commonalities with other widows. This book is dedicated to my late husband. Ben—or honey—was the love of my life since I was a seventeen-year-old girl! Ben was my prom, debutante, and grad night date. We grew together and met the challenges of infertility, balancing family versus the ministry, and rearing children.

This journal is dedicated to our children, Willow and April. You have been there through times of destruction and the aftermath of my grief. The bond between us has been strengthened. We have not always agreed, but we definitely have been recipients of a miraculous amount of unconditional love for one another. You two girls have a special spot in my heart. God quietly whispered in my ear, These are your children, and you are their mother. Willow and April will always be a part of our forever family. I give special recognition to my parents, Johnnie and Joella, my sister, Renee, and my dearly beloved late aunt Flossie. These people were my daily contacts on my journey.

I hope that readers