Walking with Miss Zib

By Richard D. Tobin

The title Walking with Miss Zib came from emotions I experienced during a three-year period, succeeding my wife's, Ellen's, death, from Alzheimer's disease. We met when I was fifteen and she was sixteen. Try and visualize what a loss that was for me. It changed my life forever. It's not an easy task to go on without her, as you can imagine. The suffering remained intense, penetrating deep into my soul. Contemplating my anguish, it's clear to me now that the pain was from the soul, not the body. After a great deal of reflection, I conclude, Ellen's body had Alzheimer's disease; her soul didn't.

Our souls communicated directly, circumventing her body with Alzheimer's disease; two souls connected for over sixty-seven years. As a result, Ellen knew me till her last day on earth! Focusing on my grieving and putting into words the manner in which I survived, I will provide a true account of my experience with grief over a lifetime. Covering from the age of nineteen to the passing of Ellen, revealing my most inner emotions each time. One needn't have a medical or scientific background, like sporting a PhD, to write about their emotions while suffering through a heartbreaking life experience. All one requires is courage to reveal their true feelings and eagerness to help others.

I walk with Miss Zib's spirit guiding me home and end with a quote taken from a headstone in Ireland, which I find so grand: "Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal!"

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Mar 9, 2022
• ISBN: 9781685173524

Book preview

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Walking with Miss Zib

Richard D. Tobin

ISBN 978-1-68517-351-7 (paperback)

ISBN 978-1-68517-352-4 (digital)

Copyright © 2022 by Richard D. Tobin

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Percentage of profits made from this book will go to BAYADA, a hospice.

In memory of Ellen Sandra Tobin, Miss Zib, who died from Alzheimer’s disease in 2018.

Portions of this book, Walking with Miss Zib, contain limited information on the subject of grieving, taken from my book Miss Zib, whereas this book has added in-depth material to those stories concerning grieving.

In memory of Mrs. Ellen Sandra Tobin Miss Zib.

Miss Zib in 1950

Those who bring sunshine into the life of others cannot keep it from themselves.

Preface

The story begins with the death of a Polish princess of an octogenarian in New Hampshire. Two teenagers fall in love. Their souls uniting in 1951, they married in 1953 and remained together for sixty-seven years until she died in 2018. At that time, their souls were instantly torn apart; her death was beyond his intellect. Their connection was powerful. Suddenly, one soul was abandoned, like a man in a rubber raft after his ship sank, drifting endlessly, weak, and crying out for help! His soul was crying out, Please don’t leave me. The pain is agonizing.

Definition of the soul is the spiritual principle of human beings. The soul is the subject of human consciousness and freedom; soul and body together form one unique human nature. Each human soul is individual and immortal, immediately created by God. The soul does not die with the body, from which it is separated by death and with which it will be reunited in the final resurrection. He concludes that his pain is deep down inside; it’s his soul suffering and crying out to be united with his wife’s soul once again!

Assessing his situation and listening to people who never had true love in their life, they concluded that he should stop being in low spirits, just be thankful for the wonderful life he had with his wife, realizing he was blessed with her love and devotion over the years, and stop focusing on his heartache and thank God for his blessings.

Eventually, he endured the agony and was able to take the negative aspects of grief and turn it into a positive outcome! This was accomplished by writing a book about their life together; hence the book Miss Zib was born! Once again, he turns to writing regarding the difficulties he experienced after losing a lifetime partner.

The author strives to create a recipe for a spiritual medicine intended for our soul by means of ingredients of faith, a bit of hope, a hint of miracles, and in the essence of true love to help us overcome grief when a loved one dies! During the grieving process, true love can penetrate time, traveling beyond death into a dimension we can only imagine.

As individuals, each person undergoes unique pain. Grieving is complex, more than most realize. In addition, the author talks about functioning through losing family members throughout a lifetime and the effect on him each time, depending on the relationship to the deceased.

By means of optimism, he intends to provide readers with the understanding of how true love bridges time beyond the grave into the universe, accepting as true, afterlife exist and he will be reunited with his wife when it’s his time. Meanwhile, the author walks with Miss Zib’s spirit, with her new role guiding him home!

Introduction

Walking with Miss Zib

Surviving after the death of a lifetime partner was vital for me to pass on to others how love triumphs over life’s challenges. It’s difficult after so many years together; our souls were in concert within two bodies. The connection was powerful, proving strong enough to reach beyond death, influencing me to create a book regarding our life together! Ellen gave me the resolve to go on alone by means of wonderful memories, created with love and devotion; she was my inspiration to survive, destined to go on for a higher purpose.

My pain was essential; experiencing grief when losing a longtime partner, I can identify with the pain. I appreciate how to help others who will be summoned to endure a similar heartache! Declaring, I have never experienced pain as strong and as long-term as losing Ellen! It was extreme! Going through Marine boot camp was serene compared to this agony! It’s hard put pen to paper about anguish; it lasts indeterminately! Perhaps over time, it will weaken, but it will never disappear completely when the connection is strong.

Significantly, people experience flashbacks or clips of moments in time which will unsuspectingly bring tears to one’s eyes. An example of a flashback that comes to mind was an incident during Ellen’s last year. Coming out of the supermarket, I headed toward the car. Ellen looked at me, smiled, and blew me a kiss. Occasionally, I picture her in the front seat, smiling. It’s been three years. It creates an emotional effect, and I still feel the reaction.

Oh, I know you are probably saying to yourself, Get on with your life. Forget the past! Easier said than done! Moving on is different with each individual depending on their relationship with the deceased. I submit to you, if you have a long-term, strong relationship by means of true love, you will never forget the past and will not want to. Preserving those wonderful memories and embracing your trip back to the future is important for a healthy survival! It’s essential to adjust to the present while embracing the future!

In addition to my loss of Ellen plus individuals I loved throughout a lifetime, I reveal how their death triggered my emotions, causing grieving beyond my imagination. Considering each death unique, I believe my experiences can help others to move past the stress of losing a loved one. A