Resting in the Palm of Love

By Amber Shields

This is a continuation to my first book called: Running into the Arms of Love. Call it a miracle, call it what you will, all things are possible to those that will be still.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Aug 31, 2019
• ISBN: 9781728325552

Book preview

CHAPTER ONE

THE JOURNEY

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M y heart sunk down to my stomach it felt like it was torn in millions of pieces. This did not seem like this was real. I began blaming myself for Tammie’s death. I could have prayed over my daughter. And she could have been healed. Or when I was on the phone with her, I can’t believe it. Right before she called the Ambulance. Why didn’t I pray for my baby? It’s my fought she died. I couldn’t believe she’s gone! Her little boy was never going to see her as he is growing up. At the celebration of life service for Tammy, there were people I didn’t even know. It was crowded. In fact, it was packed. The pastor said that we were over the limit of capacity of people This is the church That Tammy and I were going too. Tammy’s son was a hand full. He disrupted the Church. Every Sunday. I started to take him to the children’s class. He enjoyed that. He was just a toddler wanting to play. He wore an iron man outfit. That he wouldn’t take off. To the church service. I was glad that she had a son. Because he resembles my daughter. He was blessed to have his grandfather’s color of eyes blue he is a beautiful child. Donny went to live with his father, and other grandparents. We had Tammy cremated. Until this day we have not taken her ashes to the cemetery. My youngest daughter has them at her house. She’s having a hard time burying her sister’s ashes. She is not wanting to put the ashes anywhere. But stay at her house next to the picture of Tammy. Seems like we never stop grieving, the loss of a loved one. I don’t think the hurt ever goes away. We just must move on in life. And try to cope with it. And do the best we can. Dealing with your loved one’s absence is hard to do. Sometimes I can hear Tammy laughing or talking. I finally had to come to grips, that it wasn’t my fought that she died. That the enemy, was having me to condemn myself. This leads to problems. Such as headaches, sadness depression low self-esteem guilt, And even physical sickness. The scripture says in Romans 8:1 so now there is no commendation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. I had to understand, that this is God’s will. And he had only good for me. That I needed to rest in the palm of Jesus. I had to let go. And let God. Yet somehow it is hard to understand why? I had to understand that God knows best. I had to trust him over and over. Just like he forgives us over and over. I need to do the same. I must trust him. Then and only then I could rest in the palm of love. Because that’s where I felt safe. Now that my baby is gone, my family got smaller. First my husband dies then my daughter. I haven’t seen or talked to my first-born son in over a year. I don’t know if he is alive. My heart aches when I think he could be dead for all I know. The last I knew he was doing meth. He hasn’t called for the holidays. All I can do is pray for him. I can’t get a hold of him by phone. Because the number I had did not work. Tried texting him. He did not respond. I wrote him a