Ichel the First: Alcoholism: the Disease Is Shrouded in Mystery as My Love and I Walk the Journey of Its Heartbreaking Consequences

By Gratia Lysne

In memory of my son Jason.

Journey with my son a spirit (Ichel the Third) and me as he shares the mysteries of
love and death. Join us as the magical eyes drip tears of love. If you linger still, you will
see the beauty of his heart dripping the mystery of loyalty. If you linger still, you will see
the beauty of his soul, dripping the mystery of devotion. If you linger still you will see
the beauty of his spirit dripping the mystery of compassion. If you linger still you will
weep as we weep.

“In emotions of sorrow as you drip tender tears of sadness, hurt, and pain, it stirs my
heart and soul and as I touch you softly as you weep, I long to take away the sadness the
hurt, the pain, and indeed I do in magic my love indeed I do. You touch my heart and
soul my sweetheart, indeed you do.”

In our journey my son will die again as he ask me to free him from his heartbreaking
chains. How will I respond to the child as he beseeches a heartbreaking and grueling
request?

As well my son and I journey my first life where I am an alcoholic deeply in love with
another alcoholic. In non fiction life I am an alcoholic in recovery so we share many
feelings and emotions of my illness.

In Ichel’s darkest hour, I wept for my love; alcohol had heartbreakingly destroyed my love.
My love Ichel and I are destroyed by alcohol, a fatal illness if not brought to standstill
however; our love ceases never not to be…

The thesis of my stories is dedicated to my love Ichel. I worshiped my love; I adored my
love. At first Ichel did not know that I loved him so much. I would see Ichel at different
functions although we are not yet in a relationship. I called Ichel my hush hush love.
To you, Ichel this mysterious creature that I am enchanted to love as beautiful and magical
as the mystifying emotions of a dripping star.




The angel of love Achicaya will join as well. The angel is exquisitely and exhilarating
beautiful with electrifying wings exuding the most divine love.
My stories are fictional, non fictional and spiritual indeed.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Sep 16, 2019
• ISBN: 9781524540913

Gratia Lysne

The thesis of my stories is dedicated to my love Ichel. I worshiped my love; I adored my love. At first Ichel did not know that I loved him so much. I would see Ichel at different functions although we are not yet in a relationship. I called Ichel my hush hush love. To you, Ichel this mysterious creature that I am enchanted to love as beautiful and magical as the mystifying emotions of a dripping star. The angel of love Achicaya will join as well. The angel is exquisitely and exhilarating beautiful with electrifying wings exuding the most divine love. My stories are fictional, non fictional and spiritual indeed. Gratia Lysne (Charette) resides in Port Alberni British Columbia.

Book preview

PART ONE

Introduction

Ichel the First

Love heals; I am indeed sure of that but Mrs. Good man author of Love Signs has led me to believe that love is magic1 as well.

For love is magic, 1 the secret power of all who love possess without realizing"

Love heals; love is magic 1 wow what brilliant philosophy. It is indeed brilliant philosophy these two combined together.

Perhaps, that is why, within the moment of love, within the moment of magic, my daughter presented to me a very special gift. This special gift is a book called "The Power of Now.

I am so happy indeed that I chose to read this beautiful book that contains so many healing passages. The author of this beautiful book is Eckhart Tolle. Hence, a huge thanks you to you Mr.Tolle. Thank you Thank you Thank you.

Such brilliant philosophy is within these pages of this beautiful book.

Love heals; love is magic1 wow what brilliant philosophy. It is indeed brilliant philosophy these two combine together.

After reading the Power of now, I in essence tried to practice some of Mr Toll’s brilliant philosophy

After reading Love Signs; I in essence tried to practice some of miss Goodman’s brilliant philosophy.

One day, behold magic appears at my door. when my beautiful granddaughter shows up

Here because love is magic and magic has appearance at my house, I practice some of miss Goodman brilliant philosophy.

Wow what better way than to practice with magic.

When Ciel blue requested we play a game, I said yes indeed we will and we did.

It is simple this game but filled with love and magic.

The game is turning my bed upside down, where all of my blankets and all my mattresses are on the floor.

However; even within a simple game like this my mind wanted to be in a thousand different other places but I use magic my granddaughter to help me

However, here as well I use some Tolle’s brilliant philosophy.

"When a thought subsides, you experience discontinuity in the mental stream gap of no mind. At first the gaps will be short a few seconds but gradually they will become longer.

When these gaps occur you will feel a certain stillness and peace inside of you. This is the beginning of your natural state of oneness with being which is usually obscured by the mind. With practice the sense of stillness and peace will deepen. In fact there is no end to to is depth. You will also feel a subtle emanation of joy arising from deep within, the joy of being."1

As well, now I use my beautiful granddaughter.

She with her brilliant little would cause me to forget that I was trying to be in the now moment.

Wow put theses two together and it is magic; it is magic indeed when I am playing with by my beautiful granddaughter

Almost every moment after that was filled with love and because love heals it becomes magic.

As I played with this little phenomenal of magic, as I played with this adorable little sense of presence, I could in essence, be a child as well.

So in essence, then, we become two souls captivated into the moment as one and our world becomes magical.

Ciel Bleu you are thoroughly majestic; you are the brilliant beauty that lights up our beautiful night sky.

Ciel Bleu you are as a zillion stars of majestic beauty, that lights our beautiful night sky.

It is because your little heart glows with exquisite magic.

It is because your little heart glows with exquisite love.

It is because your little heart glows with exquisite pretense.

You are the magic in our beautiful night sky; you are indeed as a zillion stars of celestial beauty.

You are the love in our beautiful night sky you are indeed as a zillion stars of celestial beauty.

You are the presence in our beautiful night sky. you are indeed as a zillion stars of celestial beauty.

Your compassionate little heart excels with love; exquisite love. Your compassionate little heart glows with love; exquisite love

Your compassionate little heart is indeed brilliant because it is filled a zillion stars of forgiveness. You are magic sweetheart and just as you have created magic for me, you will do for others as well.

You have touched into my heart so deeply and you will touch many hearts so deeply in your journey of life.

You will indeed touch millions of people in your journey of life.

How can you not?

Love heals, love is magic

Where there is-love, there is s magic and people will follow you because love commands a greater power more magnificent than anything else in the world.

You are beautiful my sweetheart but more important your heart is filled with love, exquisite love.

People will be fascinated with your enthralling heart of magic. People will be fascinated with your enthralling heart of love. It is your pure and divine essence which is love and that god in your heart.

Thank you my sweetheart for your beautiful moment of magic. You a phenomenal brisk of irresistible sweetness like honey is what you are.

You are a treasure; you are precious!

Ciel Bleu is Magic!

The universe is indeed enthralled with your heart of magic. "In some sense man is a microcosm of the universe; therefore what man is a clue to the universe.’’1

Perhaps, that is why you hold much magic Ciel Bleu because in essence, the universe too holds much magic and you are one with the universe. As you create magic for others in love, compassion, and forgiveness, you will inspire the universe to do likewise for others.

Now you have inspired the universe in love compassion and forgiveness.

Wow Ciel Bleu shines as 2 zillion stars of forgiveness. Ciel Bleu is magic!

I hold deep in my heart a love so deep for you Ciel Bleu because I remember how we shared moments of love together. When we share our feelings and emotions whether in a smile or even in sadness we are one.

We are one because love connects our hearts and we can sense one another joy and sadness.

With love in your compassionate little heart and with love in my compassionate little heart more forgiveness is created therefore more magic is created. So in essence, Ciel Bleu is even more magical.

Wow now, Ciel Bleu shines as 3 zillion stars of forgiveness.

Ciel Bleu is magic!

Happy birthday to my very exquisitely beautiful granddaughter Ciel Bleu

I have met many people in my life however; never one that is magical until I me my granddaughter Ciel Bleu.

You are magical sweetheart.

I am in awe of your exquisite voice. As you sing for me I am in your spellbinding aura of captivating beauty. Your captivating beauty and voice touches my heart with warmth and tenderness.

Your breathtaking emotions and feelings as you sing are exquisitely enthralling as they bring me in the moment of your alluring presence which is magic because it is love indeed it is.

You bring me into your moment of magic and it is so powerful because you love to sing and when you love sing I love to hear you because it is emotions and feelings deep inside your heart. When it is deep inside your heart it touches my feelings, my emotions deep inside my heart and that is so beautiful. You do indeed shine as a star in its beauty of deep feelings and emotions.

The universe is in awe of love; and love with beauty enthralls the universe too and the universe will shine its most powerful star in all its beauty on you one evening Ciel Bleu

You will see the star one evening and know it is the one because it is magic and brilliant with feelings and emotions as well.

The star will be brilliant glowing with love.

The star will be brilliant glowing with magic.

The star will be brilliant glowing with intelligence.

It is the most beautiful star in the sky indeed it is and like you are sweetheart.

As well, you have indeed touched my heart Ciel Bleu so deeply and it is indeed pleasant to be in your magnificent world of magic because it is love.

Thank you for the beautiful birthday card and the beautiful words. I thank your mom and you for the money as well. Your mom is kind with a gentle heart like you Ciel Bleu and I am deeply grateful for the kindness in both of your hearts.

I do pray not to hurt your gentle hearts as I love you both deeply. At times, you and your mom are sad and get frustrated for stuff that happens or you get tired too. I do too get sad, frustrated and tired as well but love is always there in our hearts. Deep in our hearts it is there.

Thank you for sharing your moments of joy: Your exquisite report card, your beautiful art, your ball games. You are a child of wonder Ciel Bleu. You are a child of magic

The universe is enthralled with love and will send you a blizzard of brilliant snowflakes.

The brilliant snowflakes will be filled with beautiful emotions like you are Ciel Bleu

The snowflakes will indeed be filled compassion; they are the most beautiful; dazzling, glistening, glittering, glowing.

The snowflakes will indeed be filled forgiveness; they are the most beautiful; dazzling, glistening, glittering, glowing.

The snowflakes will indeed be filled with love; it is the most beautiful; dazzling, glistening, glittering, glowing.

The snowflakes will be filled with magic like you Ciel Blue.

It will be mysterious and powerful is love in magic

Ciel Bleu you are the child of wonder.

Ciel Bleu you are the child of love.

Ciel Bleu you are the child of magic.

I did not know that love is magic until I met you.

Ciel Blue is magic!

Thank you for your moment of magic

Tear of Love

As we journey together and as my boy child, you touch into my heart and soul and so deeply

As we journey together and as them mystical spirit you touch into my heart and soul and so deeply

and as my boy child; You move my eyes to tears and as your mother I want to take you home I so deeply want to you home.

As the older mystical spirit You move my eyes to tears and as your mother I want to take you home I so deeply want to you home.

However; and as my boy child; the spirit world of magic is where you want to dwell;

As the older mystical spirit; the spirit world of the mystical is where you want to dwell;

I am indeed heartbroken my love to let go but you are indeed the boy of magic and the. mystical spirit

As my boy child and as you weep; you move my eyes to tears and as I weep with you I want to set you free from your heartbreaking chains and I do my sweetheart I do.

You are free my sweetheart, you are free indeed you are free in magic.

You are free my sweetheart, you are free indeed you are free in the mystical.

Journey with us in this heartbreaking but beautiful story of my son’s death in which my son is asking me to let him go.

This journey is tear jerking

Even in heartbreaking sadness and as we weep, weep with us as well.

Journey with us in love in spirit; it it is mystical in magic!

Love in the spirit in magic is like the creation of a falling star dripping the influence of preeminence sovereignty…

A magical essence of powerful beauty, I am in awe to be in the stars as well. It is love; enchanting; alluring.

In spirited laughter as well, as we laugh, laugh with us.

He is so beautiful and I cherish each moment as I touch him in spirit; in the mystical. in magic,

As spirit grown to adulthood, you indeed fascinate with the philosophy of the mystic realm. You delight me with me with your presence and philosophical approach to the real meaning of love and death. Moreover, you exalt me with your awe-inspiring love and devotion.

As you walk with me through feelings and emotions I am in awe of your love for me. Our love will be still and silent again my love when you leave me again but oh so deep and you will be free my love indeed you will be free.

You will be free to explore the dazzling beauty of your galactic spirit world and I will see you in all your beauty my love as you explore your galactic world and its enigmatic philosophy.

I am thankful that you once lived and gave me all those beautiful gifts of love. As we share moments, you are pleasing to look at and listen to as well.

This death of my son is indeed heartbreaking however, so beautiful as well. It is tear-jerking; and very touching. Our journey is indeed touching, moving and it has allowed me to perhaps observe why I have not allowed your death to be. I understand that you have died however; perhaps I have not completely accepted that you will never return in earth years.

Perhaps grieving is never over as I will never forget you however, as time goes on perhaps, my grieving for you will becomes less intense.

Perhaps my grieving for you will never completed over in earth years. How can I stop grieving for the child that I love so deeply?

In a sense it is perplexing for me as I perceive that I had completed the sequence of the grieving process my love.

I perhaps thought if I grieved enough for you my sweetheart, I would not miss so much so in essence I have wept and wept for the boy of magic and after weeping so much I miss you still. The loneliness and sadness is indeed very deep.

I miss you so still; I will never stop missing you. How can I stop missing the boy of magic? However you are free.

I am honoured and with this beautiful and heartbreaking story I with its essence honour you. I miss you my darling with all of my heart but you are free my love; indeed you are free!

Journey with us as we trek in the after life; journey with us as we trek in, my son’s spirit world

Journey with us in this heartbreaking but beautiful story of my son’s death in which my son is asking me to let him go.

I weep and weep for my beloved ever; there is one place in my heart where I have kept a subtle tear of love. Within the subtle tear of love, you live still.

I will never weep within the subtle tear of love.

I visit often within the subtle tear of love; there, I hold you still; there, I touch you still. There I am not lonely.

Within the subtle tear of love I revel within your emotions, there I see your little heart and soul evoking delight, wonder and jubilation; there I see you in all your beauty, indeed I do.

This place in my heart is unscathed, untouched and does not enter into my broken and bruised heart and soul, indeed it does not. I do not allow it to.

I do not allow, the iciness of death within the subtle tear of love, I do not allow, the chilliness of death within the subtle tear of love.

Death does not enter within the subtle tear of love.

Your death wanted to destroy me indeed, it wanted to destroy me.

This place in my heart is unscathed, untouched

Within The subtle tear of love you are indeed immortal.

Within subtle tear of love, you are not condemned to death

Within the subtle tear of love, you live still.

Chapter One

Tear of Love

Twenty seven years later after his death, my son has come to touch me from his spirit world.

Now that the child heeds my call and visits with me how would I let him go one more time?

Now the child is with me, how would I let him go one more time?

I am bonded to child, in chains, in love; I am indeed in chains with the child still powerfully bounded to me.

In love, the chains will never break, the chains will never break.

How will I free the child from his heartbreaking chains?

He the child weeps and so deeply as he asks to be set free, as the chains it is a burden to the child indeed it is.

In a vision of love, my son had come from his spirit world, from his spirit world; my son had come to touch me; to touch my pain; to touch my sorrow.

In love, in magic my son had come to touch me, to touch my pain;

From his spirit world, my son had come to touch me, as if he would lessen my pain by touching me.

My son wanted to sense my hurt and my hurt is very deep.

It is deep indeed, as it is the pain deep in my heart and soul.

His spirit of love does indeed touch my heart and soul and so deeply.

As he tries to lighten the burden of my heart and soul, as he tries to touch my pain, my sadness, my grief.

As the mystical droplets fall from my son’s eyes it touches the deeper parts of my heart and soul.

I was in awe of his devoted loyalty to me however, it is sad as well, as my son will also ask me to set him free.

My son has come to visit me from his spirit world; to lighten his pain as well; to lighten the burden of his of his heart and soul as well.

Please mother set me free from the distressing chains. The chains make my heart and soul sad and sorrowful.

In sorrow, as you drip emotions of sadness, hurt and pain it stirs my heart and soul and as I touch you softly as you weep; I long to take away the sadness, hurt, the pain, indeed I do and I can in spirit; in the mystical; in magic my love indeed I do."

As I caressed my son’s face, he drips tears of sorrow, I weep with my son indeed I do;

My son’s tears, surge into my heart and soul; my tears streaming on my face as a river of love and I do weep; it is a waterfall of adoration as well.

As I hold and caress him, I touch his tender face with my hands and fingers.

As the magical eyes of love weep huge droplets of tears, I touch my son as well because my son’s hurt is indeed very deep as well.

As I caress my son he is weeping and I am weeping. I feel an inner physical sensation a deep inner sensation; I weep to let the child go. His eyes dripping tears of love but I know that the tears are tears of sadness as well; deep sadness as my son wants to live in his mystical world; the emotions that my son and I share are deep indeed.

My son’s blue green eyes are disturbed and pained as he ask to be set free.

How would I free the child from the toughly bounded shackles to his chains?

The child that I love and adore; the child that so deeply touches me with love in magic but also beseeches heartbreaking and grueling requests as well…

I want to soar with the beautiful stars that we see. In the speed of light, I can do that however, it is with love that I am able to this, deep love indeed.

It is blissful, as a misty haze of love, the stars bathe in tender love exude beauty; it is billion stars of dripping beauty descending throughout the heavenly realm; a dripping fascination of love it is indeed. It is indeed magnificent as it lights up the heart of the universe.

It is because I loved so deeply in my earthly life; it because I loved so deeply indeed. that my universe allows me these special gift of love’’

My heart is broken my love; indeed it is to see you in chains.

Once more, my son asks me to let him go.

My spirit dreams to be in my mystical world and I need to be free of these tormenting chains. They are indeed heartrending.

"Oh my sweetheart, I love you so deeply.

I am so sorry that I have kept you chains all these years. Forgive me, my sweetheart.

My heart is broken my love; indeed it is to see you in chains."

"It is here in my spirit world, where I am heartbroken mother because you are heartbroken in your earthly world.

"Oh my sweetheart, I love you so deeply…

My heart is broken my love; indeed it is to see you in chains."

I touch my son again as well because my son’s hurt is indeed very deep as well.

I have missed you so much my love, but I am so sorry; so sorry indeed that I have kept you in chains all these years, so sorry indeed.

Will I lighten my son’s pain; will I lighten the burden of, my son’s heart and soul as he does for me?

Will I lighten the burden of my son’s heart and soul as well, and let him go?

Deep love and true love does indeed let go.

To elicit one tear of love, I would free the boy of magic and that tear of love is indeed deep. Will I go deep enough to release that delicate tear?

The child will indeed show me how to let him go.

On our journey my son tells me I need to go through the stages of grief as he dies a heartrending death. In this way if I was to ever believe that it would have been a blessing if my son had lived it would squelch any hope that I had. I sometimes think that if my son had lived after the accident, it would have been heartbreaking for him, for me and our family as well.

At times, I believe that if my son had lived the journey of my son’s recovery would have been as I share in my fictional story. Indeed my son as spirit tells that we are travelling the journey of a surviving accident victim if he had lived who suffers deeply versus a spirit who wants to be free to live in his mystical world hence, the spirit world. It is indeed very true and I believe what my son tells me.

This death of my son is indeed heartbreaking however, so beautiful as well. It is tear-jerking; and very touching. Our journey is indeed touching, moving and it has allowed me to perhaps observe why I have not allowed your death to be. I understand that you have died however; perhaps I have not completely accepted that you will never return in earth years.

I also believe that my son does indeed live in a repressive spirit world when I am heartbroken in my earthly life.

As I share my story with you it may at times be confusing. As I edit my manuscript, I am aware that I have repeated words and probably some sentences at times. As well, and especially when my words refer to alcohol, I have allowed myself to repeat in accentuation.

I have also allowed myself extra pages for each chapter as well and to make very long chapters.

I am well aware that I have repeated many data. I have done so probably by mistake. As well, as I edit my manuscript I know I have forgotten words as well. I do not have an editor as my funds did not allow for a professional editor. Please forgive my weaknesses.

Because this is my journey with my son I bring into focus the feelings and emotions of other family members modestly. All of us were so sad, so sad indeed and all of us miss Jason so much. He is the boy of magic in life as well as I have said.

My introduction is perhaps long; I know that my introduction is not in sequence.,

It is not elegant and flowing. As well I repeat many data, the data in my introduction and may be repeated in my first chapter.

Please forgive me however; I know I want to get this done as perhaps; it could be healing for another soul. I truly know, deep in my heart and soul, it is profoundly healing for me.

As well if I wait for everything to be perfect you will never get to read my stories.

I pray I will indeed have an editor for the second series. As well, I am not an excellent typist and I pray that you will forgive me once again for all my mistakes.

As my son and I journey Ichel the First, we will be alternating with passages my love and I’s disease of, alcoholism and my son’s death".

As we journey Ichel the First, we will label passages of my first life with my first love with the subtitle: Alcoholism.

As we journey Ichel the first, we will label passages of my son’s death with the subtitle: Tear of Love.

In this way our journey will be easier to travel.

As well, we have included three parts in this script.

The first part is where I explain how my son died and I go into the story of the accident victim.

In the second part I explain alcoholism a little and because I am an alcoholic I try to explain how alcoholism affected my family and me.

As well, I use Dr. Milam brilliant philosophy to explain alcoholism.

I write about about my childhood. These are are indeed very cool these stories about my childhood.

In the third part it about our first life my love and I are alcoholics. It tear jerking very affecting.

My son, a spirit, will however, reveal only passages of our first life in this journey. The journey of our first life will continue in the next script My son, a spirit, will however reveal only passages of his death in this journey as well. The journey his death will continue in the next script.

The journey that I share with you as I walk with my son as a spirit is fiction but my emotions and feelings are very true. I have a sense that my son as a spirit, sits with me sometimes and I sense that his feelings and emotions would be true as well, if he were living.

As well, when I use the words sacred ecstasy and passion referring to the stories where my son is a participant, I in no way use the words to mean sexual. It means holy, divine and godly. It does not allude to sexual insinuations, indeed