Heirloom: Truth, Redemption, Justice

By Lauren Whitmore

Author Lauren Whitmore refused to follow her family down the path of the gypsy nomad lifestyle, and it almost cost her everything, including her freedom and her life. In Heirloom, she narrates her story, a young girl’s journey from poverty to finding hope, faith, and belief in Jesus.

From the time of her birth in 1960, Whitmore’s mother made choices that took her children to the gates of hell. With the odds stacked against her, Whitmore was the generation that wanted to see changes. She set out on a journey to choose hope over despair, love over hate, smiles over frowns, laughs over cries, purity over perversions, and life over the cancers that erode the human spirit.

Heirloom shares a story of redemption. It chronicles the mountain peaks and valleys Whitmore traveled to find the true essence of her existence and its purpose. It describes a spiritual journey that allowed her to find her inner strength and self-worth and keep moving forward from the isolation, verbal abuse, and neglect.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jun 10, 2019
• ISBN: 9781973662150

Lauren Whitmore

Lauren Whitmore earned a bachelor’s degree in communications and fine art. She began writing as a young child and had a lifelong dream to publish works to inspire others to serve Christ and make better choices for their lives. Whitmore has been a news writer, photojournalist, and Bible student. She lives in Dallas, Texas.

Book preview

Part One

1

Abba, the Father

I’m on the road to redemption, with all the broken and shattered pieces of my heart. With the divine power of forgiveness and grace, I will chisel away at the brick wall’s decaying mortar. I built strongholds to protect myself, but I am chiseling down those walls with everyday empowerment through resilience, determination, and audacious plans. I employ prayers, forgiveness, and gratitude to break through the debris of many past transgressions. It is not as simple as just letting go.

Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

I allow unconditional love into my broken heart and break my emotional bonds. All things are possible. This is the story of my transformation from a life of betrayals, deceptions, and lies. It chronicles my willingness to step out into the unknown. I found myself beyond my circumstances and learned what it takes to come to terms. My heart’s desire is to grow old gracefully.

Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart." (Psalm 37:4)

As children, we depend on our parents to love, nurture, teach, and protect, but when parents are absent through divorce, poverty, and other issues, we have only ourselves to depend on. We tend to go into isolation. We hide behind busy things like survival, avoidance, fear, control, and mistrust.

When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up. (Psalm 27:10)

It took traveling over mountain peaks and through the deepest valleys to find the true essence of my existence and its purpose. A spiritual journey evolved in which I found the inner strength and self-worth to keep stepping forward. When I finally realized I was a miracle of my own being from the Creator himself, I became aware of the many miracles all around us.

I learned that I have the inherent right to live in freedom and live peacefully as others do. I prayed and looked upward, believing and trusting in God. He was my source of true survival every step of the way. He lifted me out of the pit of self-destructive choices and behaviors I was thrown into by my emotionally abusive mother and absent father.

It is one of his promises that as believers, we can trust in him. Our Heavenly Father is my hero, working behind the scenes in my life. It began in heaven, but the earth stage brought me into a life of undesirable conditions. It takes a certain bravery and gut-wrenching effort to bring the hidden parts, however raw, into the open.

That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. (Romans 10:9)

I believed that I was saved, but I lacked the understanding of what that meant. It is not something we can do completely on our own, but we can do it with Jesus. Sweet Jesus! Our Savior was sent by God. Once we confess him as our Lord and Savior, we belong to him. We are bought by the blood he shed at Calvary.

Even the righteousness of God which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all and upon all them that believe: for there is no difference. (Romans 3:22)

Thanks to the few people along the way who believed in me, the tragedies in my life will become victorious triumphs. This is the redemption of a little girl’s life made new. It includes glorious revelations only she will carry to fruition, determined and audacious to make a difference.

Be the change you want to see.

2

Indigence

My story began on October 26, 1960, in Clay, Arizona, when I was born to Herbert and Carolyn Slocum. Mom took me home from the shiny, white-walled, antiseptic, pristine hospital miles away in the city to our front door— an ugly, dark-green, slanted screen door with wrong-sized rusty nails. Our home had yellowed walls from heavy smoking and a stained carpet, and it was in the part of town by the tracks. We had a little shack in an alley off North Mockingbird Street.

Mom and her friends from town were wooing the miners for attention and a ring on their left finger. They were taking bets as to who would grab one first. Marriage was the only escape from this dusty desert.

Carolyn was no different from many of the other women living by the tracks. She turned eighteen, got pregnant, and got married in a civil service—in that order. She and Herbert were living with his parents while he hustled enough work to move us out. By the time he finished pulling enough money to get a rusted clunker to drive, Mom was pregnant with number 2. Together, we headed out to find the Promised Land.

In Crystal Springs, at a small rural center, Dad went to work until he joined the service. The job put food on the table. We lived there until one of their many arguments caused a separation. They returned to their vows of commitment, yet over time, their marriage problems got bigger than the house could hold. They did not meet under the best of circumstances or take the time to get to know one another.

Mom went missing in action all the time. In one of her shenanigans, she pretended to be taking a bath. She locked the bathroom door, climbed out a window, and was off and running. She was pregnant with Brent at the time. Meanwhile, Dad was feeding me and giving me my bottle. He put me down for the night and wondered what was taking Mom so long. He finally kicked the bathroom door in. Bathwater was running on the floor, and she was gone.

He found her at a local hole-in-the-wall dive with her girlfriends. She claimed postpartum depression. On the strip, a miners’ hangout, when Carolyn walked into a room, the men always turned to look at her—even in her pregnancy. Mom was already married, but her single friends from town were wooing the workers for attention and a ring. They had taken bets regarding who would grab one first. Carolyn won. Now it was time for second place.

Louise, her youngest sister, was envious and had the green-eyed monster of jealousy roaring within her. With her bleached blonde hair and hourglass figure, she would get up dancing to be the center of attention. Their girlfriends Madge, Alice, and Dorie flirted for their beers and laughed with the men. The goal was to fall in love and get married. They told jokes like female standup comedians to a roaring bar.

Most of the guys they hooked up with went home penniless—robbed of their money after having too much alcohol. These women giggled as they competed for the miners’ attention. Women they thought outshone them did not have a chance. They’d gang up on one female and spread vicious lies about her until she fled. It was a game they played with women and men.

Meanwhile, for my mom and dad, there was a lot of quarreling and separating from each other. They would separate for a while and get back together for a while. Mom’s family let it be known that they did not like him, and it was his fault she was drinking alcohol. Louise accused him of all sorts of terrible acts.

My parents ended their marriage three years later—rumor was, because of infidelity. They divorced when she was pregnant with child number 3 and went their own ways. My biological father did not know about the third child until that child turned twelve years old. By then, Dad did not believe Rusty was his biological son.

I have no real memory of my father, only reflective speculation based on known circumstances and stories from cousins. He landed on the West Coast after he finished his time in the service. He went back to work, a position where he earned lifetime benefits. He also remarried, and this marriage lasted several years.

My mom took us to the East Coast after she gave birth to child number 3. She was bitter about her divorce and did not allow us contact with our father. She kept her reasons to herself. We were in the dark. We could not ask any questions, including why we could not visit. She seemed very broken about it. Mom just had too much generational baggage from her own childhood to make it and not enough commitment.

She claimed my father wanted nothing to do with me, his only daughter, and didn’t love me. She also would cynically say to me they weren’t married when they conceived me, so I was actually illegitimate. The first seeds of rejection and shame were planted by these careless words by my mother.

In 1960, a divorced woman was considered too liberal and had too much experience. It was a public shame to get a divorce in this era.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ:

According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:

Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will,

To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.

In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace. (Ephesians 1:3–7)

3

Husband Number Two

Mom remarried very quickly. She had a new husband named Franklin, and I grew to love and look up to as a father. The big move to the East Coast gave Mom a new beginning and some happiness and stability in her life. Coincidently, Franklin was also a serviceman. This marriage would last around eight years.

Occasionally, our household would get long visits from my mom’s siblings. My mom, out of loyalty to her brothers and sister, would continue to take them in—Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Louise, mostly. They were the only siblings to visit us in Maine. Mom always said, They are family, and we do not to turn anyone away. She had this obsessive fear of homelessness. Even if they took over our home with arguing, fighting, and drinking, Carolyn’s family loyalty was strong.

Franklin brought stability and normalcy to our lives. He was not happy with the arrangement between Jimmy, Louise, and Mom. They are troublemakers! he would yell. Lazy moochers!

He had met all of them while living in Crystal Springs, and they did not become close in-laws. Mom’s family did not like Franklin either, and again Louise accused Carolyn’s husband of terrible acts. She had a habit of making up stories if she did not get her way.

Dysfunction is often generational, and that was true with my mother’s family. As I have researched Mom’s past, I’ve drawn conclusions based on the connection of my grandmother to my mother to me. It did not change anything about my childhood, but it taught me valuable lessons. The benefit I gained from my trip back to the past was awareness. I found answers to many questions and identified patterns of behavior