Fighting Demons While Chasing God!

By Kimberly Faith Cagle MSEd

Knowing that you are not fighting demons on your own is crucial in your walk with Christ. It has been the many battles that Faith faced beginning as early as six years of age that making a decision to allow the trials and battles of life, along with the demons of this world, either tear her down or let her faith in God bring her through those battles stronger, closer, and more equipped to face the enemy head-on. Some of the battles we face are created to simply distract us from our calling, set us back for God's plans for our lives, or to completely destroy our testimony as Christians. With all the various types of sin, excuses, and compensation that the enemy presents us with, it is a wonder that we can make it to become successful believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, but that is where the strength of true faith, God's grace, mercy, and forgiveness overcomes the evil one. Enter into a small portion of obstacles that Faith went through to know you are not alone, God is always with you, and His plan is always perfect.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Oct 24, 2023
• ISBN: 9798890433190

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Fighting Demons While Chasing God!

Kimberly Faith Cagle MSEd

ISBN 979-8-89043-318-3 (paperback)

ISBN 979-8-89043-319-0 (digital)

Copyright © 2024 by Kimberly Faith Cagle MSEd

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Preface

Chapter 1

Prior to My Relationship

Chapter 2

Death as a Demon

Chapter 3

Flickering Hope Quickly Squashed

Chapter 4

Navigation of Loneliness When I'm not Alone

Chapter 5

From Child to Parent

Chapter 6

Searching to Belong and to Be Loved

Chapter 7

Being Restored

Chapter 8

Journey Forward

About the Author

This book is dedicated to my Lord and Savior, for the courage, strength, and guidance of sharing my story with a lost world so that they may see evidence of his Love, Mercy, Grace, and Forgiveness, but most of all his Salvation.

Also, to my precious husband, who was a wonderful gift sent by God. You are so wonderful and have given me the utmost support and encouragement through our twenty-four years together and have brought me out of despairing circumstances and led me back to our Loving God. I am so honored and blessed to have such a wonderful husband as you.

Preface

Reflecting over various occurrences in my life, many would wonder how she is still standing; how am I maintaining a positive outlook? Trust me, I have often asked myself that very same question. The only answer that I give myself and those that ask is: simply God! Like so many others, I realized that the trials and hardships I have faced in my life mirrored what other people had experienced.

Obstacles, trials, emotional, spiritual, and physical battles come in many different forms for everyone. Mine, however, stemmed from the expectation of responsibility for myself and others by the age of nine, growing up alone, death crossing my doorstep so many times that it became second nature to me; so much so I find it difficult to react in a way that would present true mourning. At this point, as if it wasn't already personal enough, let's add early twenties mental breakdowns, autoimmune diagnosis in my early thirties, fighting for my life, career transitions, educational setbacks; basically, questions my very purpose at every turn. To those that do not believe in Christ or God, you may think this is just a bit or a lot of bad luck; however, for those that know Jesus Christ as your Savior, you may consider this a testing of my faith. As I delve deeper into my circumstances, and God's Word, He began to show me that these demons I have been fighting were actually sent directly to me in an effort to curb or steer me away from what I have been called to by my Lord Jesus Christ. Then I began to understand that we are all called for a purpose. I felt that helping others tell their story in a way that would reveal the pain and trauma and the healing that God grants us would be almost therapeutic. That is why I chose to tell Caroline's story. She and I have been working through many obstacles for years. Finding a kindred spirit to share the pain, burdens, and trauma, as well as the healing process, are the angels among us whom God sends.

We all have our demons we face. We all endure a variety of trauma, all of which mold us into who we are. However, not all know the love, grace, and mercy of our Savior. It is not simply an acknowledgment of His presence but a faithful, overpouring relationship with a being who offers the purest and most true love. My mission with this book is to deliver the knowledge I have acquired over the years to others, so they may draw closer to the Lord and find that sincere relationship with Him that will help them face their demons while finding hope in eternity with Jesus Christ in the process.

Chapter 1

Prior to My Relationship

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when you yet there were none of them.

—Psalm 139:13–16 (ESV)

It is breathtaking to imagine how each of us ultimately came to be with these very thoughts, love, and preparation from our heavenly Father.

Caroline Rose Helton's story began when she was born to a humble tobacco-farming family in a small town near Stokes County, North Carolina. Her mother worked in the office of a copper production company. Her father worked tirelessly at three dramatically different jobs: first shift, as a mechanic at the Bill Hanks Lumber Company; afternoon, he was found farming and raising tobacco and cattle; and third shift, as a mechanic at the same copper production company where her mother worked. Caroline was the baby of the family with one brother, three years older, Oscar. Before starting school, Oscar and Caroline stayed with her father's mom. They called her granny. She was the best at everything, from cooking to showing her love for the kids in a tough love fashion. Even though she did not like to say it, you never had to question that she loved you. She never allowed a doubt in anyone's mind of how proud she was of her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. She would boast about any of them in any room to anyone with ears to hear, and she thoroughly enjoyed receiving brags for her contribution to the raising of such smart, grand, and successful people. But really, do you know any Granny who does not want a bit of credit? She was a God-fearing woman who took pride in raising and teaching Caroline and her cousins. All were held accountable for their actions and were taught honesty, integrity, complex work ethics, and manners (yes, as Caroline is from the South; manners are a must).

Even in such a wonderful family, Caroline explained that she always felt set apart. This is something that Caroline and I have in common and discussed often. For Caroline, the future demons and trials increased her feeling of being set apart. Neither of us could adequately describe those early memories except to explain that she and I felt like outsiders. I am sure that Caroline and I are not the only ones who thought they didn't fit in or were an outsider. Some of the same conversations that Caroline and I have had would cause memories to resurface in many others. With so many diverse disorders recognized today, I often wonder and even suggested to Caroline that I sometimes feel I could be on the spectrum of some sort of irregularity. I am viewing the world differently. Caroline was quick to point out that this overwhelming feeling of being different could also be God's way of preparing and cultivating my heart, mind, and soul, fortifying me to face the obstacles, trials, and demons of the future that is helping me to carry out His will for my life. It is fantastic to have those loved ones, friends, and family in your life to share a bit of Godly insight. In the book of Isaiah, Isaiah tells the story of the chosen servant in a way that should inspire everyone to desire the call of God in their lives.

He will not grow faint or be discouraged till he has established justice in the earth; and the coastlands wait for the law. (Isaiah 42:4 ESV)

I am the Lord, I have called you in righteous; I will take you by the hand and keep you; I will give you a covenant for the people a light for the nations. (Isaiah 42:6 ESV)

First John 1:5 declares God is the light. Our relationship with God demands we have the indwelling Holy Spirit, the third deity of God, and His light within us to live apart, yet within the world, to help shine God's light and guide the world to Christ Jesus, our King and Savior. Matthew 5:14 tells us that we are "the light of