Birds of Flight

By Woodrow Odom Lucas

Birds of Flight is a book about seven people with severe and persistent mental illness who have reached a point of desperation. They seek out an unorthodox therapist and begin to engage in group therapy sessions with their therapist and with each other. In the midst of these sessions, a revival of love breaks out among these individuals, which results in life changing healing and a new hope for them all.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Sep 25, 2018
• ISBN: 9781982211028

Woodrow Odom Lucas

Woodrow Lucas was born in Columbia, Maryland in 1974. He has an undergraduate degree in Mathematical Methods in the Social Sciences from Northwestern University and a Master’s in Theological Studies and a Master’s in Business Administration from Vanderbilt University. In 2001, Woodrow was diagnosed with a severe and persisent mental illness, Schizoaffective Disorder. For close to twenty years Woodrow has been utilizing his spirituality and his perspicacious intellect to mount a miraculous recovery from schizoaffective disorder that has enabled him to serve in several professional capacities, be an active member of his daughters Autumn and Gabrielle’s lives, and write and publish two other books entitled A Book of Rhythm and Insane Joy.

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

The Journey to Session 1

TED

T ed, wake up; it’s 10:00. Your appointment with Ms. Woods is in an hour! Miriam, Ted’s mom, screamed up to his room. Ted awoke feeling bereft of rest as usual. He scrambled to find his underwear as screen shots of ‘SQLRETURN cliRC = SQL _ SUCCESS; int rc = 0; SQLHANDLE henv; /* environment handle */……’ cascaded his mind’s eye. Ted heard a voice say, You know you’ll never be free of me, so why go? Shut up! Shut up, Ted said out loud. Ted, did you want something? Miriam shouted. No mom, I’m all right. I’ll be down in a minute. Ted hadn’t brushed his teeth in weeks or taken a shower in days and today was not the day that he was going to change that pattern. So he got his clothes on and went downstairs. Ok mom, I’m ready, let’s go.

On the drive to Ms. Woods’ office Ted thought about the scholarship to MIT that he won before his troubles began and how his life had changed since the screenshots and the schizophrenia began. But there had to be a way out, there just had to be. All his meds did was make him tired and give him the ability to endure the screenshots without bashing his head in. Ted wasn’t a religious young man. But I can’t give up; there has to be more to life than what I’m experiencing! he mumbled to himself. Ted did you say something? his mother inquired. No mom, I’m just getting ready for my appointment. This was the first group session that Ted had ever been to. But he wasn’t nervous. After all, how much worse could this be than sitting in his room seeing screenshots all day? Ted and his mom pulled up to the office and found the name Tamika Woods, LCSW, PhD, on the downstairs directory. It was on the eighth floor—room 817. They stepped into the elevator and pressed 8.

GARRICK

There is no human being on this earth that does not have the spark of God in them. That is why God will redeem all, because God will never reject God’s self and God’s in all of us. Garrick said, getting the last word in his Soteriology discussion group. Good insights man!! one of Garrick’s classmates said to him as he rushed out of the classroom to make his 11:00 appointment. Man, I’m excited! Garrick thought to himself. A Universalist therapist who’s Pentecostal too!! This is going to be amazing.

Garrick was diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder in 2001. And had done a lot of work in his own recovery. But his illness had cost him his marriage, and now he didn’t see his kids anywhere near as much. He was getting his PhD in theology with a full fellowship, but still getting ends to meet was very difficult. But Garrick had his dreams and he wasn’t the type of man to give up on them easily. He was going to get his PhD and open minds everywhere to the revelation of Universalism. Universalism had comforted Garrick through so many of his experiences. Like when he found himself with two felony offenses after a delusional encounter with the police. But God hadn’t let Garrick down yet, and this Tamika Woods was going to be no different.

Garrick’s symptoms were already a fraction of what they were when he was diagnosed. But he knew that he wasn’t free yet. Garrick knew that he was dealing with forces beyond his five senses and beyond his comprehension, and he needed a likeminded conversation partner to fully sort things out. Garrick knew that he would love the group session because he loved people. And he secretly wanted to heal people with mental illness of their maladies, but he hadn’t quite yet figured out how to do it. All right Jesus!!! Garrick said. Let’s do this, Savior!! as he pulled up to the office building. He found Tamika Woods’ office on the directory downstairs, room 817. All right, let’s go, Garrick said to himself as he stepped into the elevator and pressed 8.

SUZANNE

No, Peter, I cannot pick up Henli from school early. I have a doctor’s appointment, and then I have to work a late shift at the Mission, Suzanne told her ex-husband. I can’t understand for the life of me why you, an atheist, works at a Mission, Suzanne’s ex-husband Peter said. People need help and you don’t have to believe in God to help them, you jerk. Maybe you ought to think about how your supposed God felt about the way you divorced me for having an open mind!! Suzanne retorted. I don’t want to get into this. I understand that you can’t pick up Henli. Let’s just leave it at that!! Peter yelled. Suzanne screamed into the phone, Goodbye! Peter hung up the phone.

Suzanne started breathing to calm herself down. Every time she talked to Peter she got triggered. And the stomach spasms and the hot flashes were pervasive. Suzanne couldn’t even drive by a church without getting triggered in some way. Suzanne and Peter had had a good marriage. Suzanne had helped Peter start a large Evangelical church out of their living room. She was a mastermind for marketing and she could read people very easily. But then she befriended a Buddhist woman, and the woman was so kind and helpful that it made her think, Are other religions really of the devil? Does that make sense? Some of them have been around for much longer than Christianity and they definitely seem to do more good than harm?

Suzanne started exploring the world’s religions and began to befriend women from Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, and Buddhism. Music City was a diverse melting pot, so it was easy for her to meet folks with other ways of thinking. But when Peter noticed what she was doing, he forbade her to have anything to do with other religions. Suzanne told him that she had one Lord and Peter wasn’t him. At that point their marriage began a downhill spiral until Peter finally divorced her. She still loved him dearly and she felt betrayed by God and him. She started thinking to herself, Who is God? Does God even care about us? Bit by bit Suzanne started praying less and less and having fewer spiritual conversations, until finally she just gave up on the idea of God altogether.

But ever since her divorce she would experience these stomach spasms and hot flashes whenever she came across anything spiritual or religious. She was panicked and desperate and went to a psychiatrist. He told her that she had PTSD. When she learned of Tamika Woods, she knew that Tamika was a strong believer. But when she talked to her on the phone, Tamika had such compassion and concern and didn’t seem to be bothered by the fact that Suzanne was an atheist. So she decided to give the group sessions a shot.

Suzanne got into her car and drove to Ms. Woods’ office building. She saw that Ms. Woods’ office was office number 817. She got into the elevator and pressed 8.

MATTHEW

Matthew sat on his bed, staring into his dirty bathroom. He just couldn’t bear to go in there. From the time that Matthew was a child he obsessively counted the ridges on the sidewalk. And he had problems walking on certain patterns that didn’t follow a definitive order. But lately he had been cutting little ridges in his arms. And was now afraid to wear short sleeve shirts. And he couldn’t use his bathroom unless it was clean, which posed him serious problems because it would take him two hours sometimes to muster the courage to clean it. He had maids that came every two weeks. But when the bathroom got dirty in between those two weeks, Matthew had serious problems. Matthew’s psychiatrist had diagnosed him with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. But none of the treatments seemed to be working.

Matthew prayed to the Lord, God, I thank you that I am a successful businessman. But God, this ailment could really derail me if I don’t get it under control. Please bless this session with Tamika Woods to be fruitful. Praise you Lord. In Jesus Name, Amen!!!

Matthew opened up his Bible to Jeremiah 29:11. For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. All right Jesus, Matthew said, I receive it."

Matthew decided to read the paper as he awaited his appointment with Tamika Woods. He took a mental health day today, which for the CEO was rather easy to do. Matthew was a genius at internet security. And he provided internet security for most of the companies in Music City. As he started reading, he saw that a Democrat won the Senate race in Alabama. Damn democrats!!! he thought. With all their gay rights and socialism!! Can’t they see that the poor should be left to the church and to charities and that Government’s role should not be to take care of the less fortunate. We need the government to protect our country. Churches are God’s vessel to help the poor. Matthew was getting so angry that he put down the paper and, in agony, forced himself to take a shower. He got dressed and drove to the office building where Tamika Woods’ office was. He saw in the directory that she was in room 817. So he got in the elevator and pressed 8.

LISA

Oh! my God, I love David Burns, Lisa thought to herself. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy was one of Lisa’s favorite subjects at Brine University. She was getting her Master’s in Social Work to become a therapist. Lisa had struggled with Bipolar disorder since she was a teenager. Although her meds worked pretty well, she still had racing thoughts sometimes that forced her to listen to guided meditation albums on her iPod. She couldn’t stand her psychiatrist because she felt like he was an automaton with no feelings. She never told him what was really going on in her recovery as she had no trust in him. She would just answer the questions that he asked and get her scripts and move on. Lisa had once wanted to be a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner, but the idea of being taught by Psychiatrists and working with Psychiatrists nauseated her.

Lisa was really passionate about helping others to deal with mental illness. She wasn’t sure if there was a cure or not, but she thought that if she could just give an empathic ear and an encouraging word, then people would know that they weren’t alone. Lisa had felt alone so often in the early stages of her illness. She wanted to give people hope that they could live a normal life, and that they were just as good as anyone else.

Lisa put down The Feeling Good Handbook and picked up Autobiography of a Yogi. Although she had never read the Bhagavad Gita all the way through, as a converted Hindu Autobiography of a Yogi was her favorite book in the world. Sometimes when she read it, she felt like she was reading fiction, but then she would remind herself that it was a nonfictional autobiography by Paramahansa Yogananda and feel elated. Wow!!! These people were real!! They were real people!! she would say to herself. As Lisa was reading, she looked at her watch. Oh my God!! It’s 10:45; I’m late!! Lisa had really been looking forward to this appointment with Tamika Woods. Not only was she a therapist, but she also had a PhD in theology. When Lisa talked to Ms. Woods to make the appointment, Tamika had actually read Autobiography of a Yogi!! What are the chances?

Lisa threw on some clothes, got in her Honda Civic, and drove to the office building where the session was. She got out of the car and found Ms. Woods’ office in the directory. It was room 817. She got in the elevator and pressed 8.

EDWARD

Edward picked up his guitar and started strumming the guitar version of Sunshine of My Life. Stevie Wonder was Edward’s muse—he knew every song ever written by the man. Edward could play six instruments and had composed over a thousand songs, but still chose to play Stevie Wonder every time he got the chance. It was 9:30 in the morning, and Edward was trying to calm himself down. He had a group therapy appointment with Tamika Woods at 11:00 and was terrified of telling his story. How does one admit to a group of seven people that you willingly tried to kill yourself when you had two kids who depended on you?

Edward’s wife Suzanne was so appalled at his attempted suicide while his kids were at school that she divorced him and denied him any right at joint custody. Edward wasn’t even angry at her. For he himself also couldn’t believe that he did it. But the darkness just seemed that it was never going to end, and so Edward chose death over continued suffering. He loved his children Mark and Beth Anne more than breath. But he didn’t love them enough to stay in a darkness that not even music could bring him out of.

Edward had struggled with depression since his teens. But it got really bad when he was fired from his job as a music teacher at his kids’ elementary school. It was like the shame just suffocated the life out of his emotions and eclipsed his hope completely. After it was all over, Edward got a job teaching guitar at a music store down the street. And once again music saved him. He was estranged from his wife and kids, but something about playing music brought him out of the darkness this time. Edward had taken at least half a dozen meds, but none of them really helped with his depression. Music was Edward’s drug, and music was Edward’s God. For in Edward’s view, a loving God simply couldn’t allow all of the suffering he saw around him, or his own suffering. It wasn’t necessarily that Edward didn’t believe in God, he just had no desire to talk to God or have anything to do with God, because in his view, if God didn’t care about him, then he didn’t care about God! And it was just that simple.

Edward saw on his watch that it was 10:30, so he stopped playing his guitar, grabbed his keys, and drove to the office building for the group session. He found Ms. Woods’ office in the directory. It was room 817. He got in the elevator and pressed 8.

CRYSTAL

Adios!! Que Dios Le Bendiga!!! Crystal hung up the phone. She was so embarrassed to be a Latino who didn’t speak Spanish, save a few phrases. Her mother had forbidden her to learn as a child, saying that Latino culture was overridden with fornication, drunkenness, and idolatry. Crystal tried her best to maintain good relations with her mother. But it was hard. Crystal’s mother belonged to the Way of Christ church which believed that all people who were not members of the Church were going to hell forever.

Crystal, her whole life, had tried to maintain a balance between respect for her mother and following her own heart. At 28 she was still working on that balance. Crystal felt anxiety welling up in her body and she felt her breathing getting constricted. She had so much work to do. She was planning a benefit dinner for the battered women she worked with at the not-for-profit she headed, Shackled No More. Sometimes Crystal hoped that her mom would once express pride that her daughter had obtained master’s degrees in both Social Work AND Business and had become an executive director of a not-for-profit at the age of 28 years old. But all her mother had to say about Crystal’s accomplishments was, Well, at least you’re not knocked up like so many of your Latino sisters.

Crystal did not thrive in dating. She had a beautiful face but was highly overweight. Crystal’s main hobby, to her mother’s horror, was studying the religions of the world. Crystal truly believed that God was too big for one religion. And in everything she did, she endeavored to embody a Namaste mentality toward everyone she came in contact with.

Crystal refused to take meds for her anxiety, believing that if she worked hard enough in her meditation practice, she could transcend the symptoms altogether. Crystal was excited about her appointment at 11:00 because she felt like conversation provides healing too, and if she could converse with some other people on a similar journey, those conversations would speak to her subconscious mind and ameliorate the fear instincts that drove her anxiety. Crystal knew that she had to work on acceptance too, but her mom didn’t make it easy. Her mom’s perfectionism often tempted Crystal to be perfectionistic and merciless on herself as well, and fail to relax when she meditated. Crystal was extremely kind toward others. But toward herself she could be brutally deprecating. She knew that forgiveness of her mom was key. But forgiving herself came harder to Crystal.

Crystal, almost never late, looked at her watch which said 10:15. She told her secretary that she was leaving the office for a couple of hours and would be back around 1:00. Crystal got into her car and drove to the office building where the session was being held. She found Tamika Woods in the directory. The session was in room 817. She got into the elevator and pressed 8.

CHAPTER 2

Session 1

G arrick, Ted, Suzanne, Matthew, Lisa, Edward, and Crystal looked at each other