Husbands: Men Who Are Ready to Love Their Wives

By Nathan C Bierly

This book is about husbands and how they should love their wives. It is written by one who has spent years learning how to better love and care for his wife, and now he wants to share, in some small way, what he has learned to help others along the same road. This book then is a road map for the journey ahead, the journey to loving better, living better, and leading better. May God be with you.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Aug 22, 2018
• ISBN: 9781973636298

Nathan C Bierly

Nathan is a husband, has been one since 2005. He may not have a wealth of knowledge in this area, but who does? But what he has learned he wants to share with others. However he does not come with an empty page, but rather a lifetime of experiences from the jungles of Africa to the highlands of Scotland. From the islands of Indonesia to the mountains of Pennsylvania. May his journey bring you something new and fresh for your own journey.

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Copyright © 2018 Nathan C Bierly.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Unless otherwise stated, all scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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ISBN: 978-1-9736-3630-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-3631-1 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-3629-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018909680

WestBow Press rev. date: 08/22/2018

Dedicat

ions:

I would like to thank my God first and foremost for the insight he has given me, the drive he has provided, and the desire he has grown in me to not only write this book, but also to share with others how they can learn to become better husbands. Without the desire of God, this book would never have happened. Thank you, God!

I also would like to raise up a very special person—my wife, Lia. This woman truly is the most amazing woman/wife in the world. She takes care of this family, works nights, teaches our boys during the days, and still manages to help me in finding the time to put this book together. Without her pushing I probably would never have finished this book when I did. She is the love of my life and there is no other woman on earth who can take her place or is her equal. Thank you honey, for being all that you are every day. I love you very much; God bless you each and every day.

Last but not least, I would like to thank my amazing little warriors, my four boys. Without their patience and understanding I would never have had time to put this book together. Thanks boys; I love you.

A very special thank you to Elizabeth S for the hard work and effort she gave to help me with corrections and edits to make a book worth reading. Thanks Liz.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

Ephesians 5:25(ESV)

Why am I writing this book? Can anybody guess? Why would I spend the time writing about husbands? Hasn’t this topic been covered for centuries by other pastors, theologians, and smarter people? You would think so, and yet with continual cases of divorce (anywhere from 40 to 50 percent according to recent studies from the American Psychological Association www.apa.org/topics/divorce/) spousal abuse, unhappy marriages, adulterous marriages, pornography in marriages (which a paper from the American Sociological Association in August of 2016 suggests even leads to a higher chance of divorce), shall I continue? And before anyone says anything, I am NOT going to pick on you husbands out there. After all, I am one myself—married, as of the time I write this, to my beautiful wife Lia for over twelve years.

But wives, don’t go out and think that you are off the hook, or even that your husbands are on the hook; there is no hook but just a trail, and you may think of this book as a map of sorts. Yes, that’s it—a map that shows you the way by the footsteps of another who is better than you in every way but is a picture of everything that you can become. Yeah, think of this book as a road map. I love maps; they always make me feel like I am going somewhere, and I love to travel. But maps need a few things to make sense. They need a key and a compass, and you need a destination; otherwise there is no need for a map. This book, then, is a map.

And these same three needs for a map – key, compass, and destination – will be your map for this book. Three sections will guide you as you wind your way through the pages. The first section, or key, will be on definitions. Anyone can argue and yell and debate, but it would be of little use without some kind of prior understanding as to what the basic meanings of the terms. Love, for example, can mean many different things to many different folks. There must be a ground level understanding of this and many other words before diving in.

The second section is going to cover the compass. A compass gives direction and a standard. North is always north, east is always east, etc. It is an absolute—our measuring stick and guide to knowing which way on the map is up. Without the compass, a map is of little use as we would have no idea which direction we are heading. However our map requires a somewhat different compass, the one who gives us our standard and direction—Jesus Christ. He is the one who we should follow, as he is the one who sets the standard.

The last section, however, will be a little different. Understanding terms is easy. If I define the word love to mean an emotion between two people, for example, then the rest of the way through the book you will know this is what I mean when I use the word love. If I set the stage for what kind of man Jesus is, what kind of husband he is to his bride, then you can say, Yes, that is a standard. Again, no argument. But when I say, Now this is the way you should go, you as the reader are faced with a choice.

Am I mad, nuttier than a fruit cake? Am I evil, telling lies to get you to do my will? Or am I telling the truth, accurately painting a picture that gives us a standard and a direction? Therefore, the last section will be a choice—to follow the path, see where it goes, and take what changes it brings, or to say, no way brother, my path is this way and walk the other way. The last section will be your choice of where you go from here.

Does this sound simple enough? Did I confuse you even more? Are you ready for an adventure? Then let’s don our pith helmets, khaki shorts, and machetes, make for the road, and see what lies around the bend. Maybe we will come out of this alive and changed, and the better for it. Are you ready? Get set…GO!

Contents

Section 1   The Key to the Map

Introduction

Chapter 1   Husband, Wife, and Bride

Chapter 2   Love, Desire, and Sex

Chapter 3   Time, Work, and Patience

Chapter 4   Divorce, Sacrifice, and Faithfulness

Section 2   The Map, Our Standard

Introduction

Chapter 5   The Love of Christ.

Chapter 6   The Work of Christ

Chapter 7   The Sacrifice of Christ

Chapter 8   The Faithfulness of Christ

Chapter 9   The Desire, Death, and Resurrection of Jesus

Section 3   Our Destination: Where do we go from here?

Introduction

Chapter 10   The Thoughts of our Head

Chapter 11   The Feelings of our Hearts

Chapter 12   The Hang Ups Holding Us Back

Chapter 13   What are you going to do…?

Section 1

The Key to the Map

Introduction

Definitions—that’s what this section is all about. A map without a key is useless as you cannot understand the symbols or the mile markers, so I am going to lay it out in this section. We will be looking at the basic Webster’s Dictionary definitions of a list of words that may be confusing or are used so broadly in our day and age that a real or even clear meaning might be lost. All definitions will be coming from the online Webster’s English dictionary found at www.merriam-webster.com. We also will look to some words as they are used in scripture and see their original Greek translations.

For the Greek translation of some of these words we will be getting all of our information from the Strong’s Greek Dictionary, part of the Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance, Hendrickson Publishers. These words will also be followed by their number in the Greek Dictionary. This way there is a clear window of understanding on the use and meaning of these words. We may also look at a Hebrew word or two and if we should it will be noted in the text and these definitions will come from the Strong’s Hebrew dictionary also followed by their number in the dictionary.

To give a brief overview of this section, I will point out that Section 1: The Key to the Map will cover twelve specific words that have to do with marriage and will be broken down into four chapters. Each chapter will cover three words that fall into similar categories so that you, the reader, can see how the puzzle fits together. Do you understand where I am taking you? Do you get it? If you should have any questions please note them down in the blank pages that follow each chapter. Without further explanation, please begin Chapter 1: Husband, Wife, and Bride.

Chapter 1

Husband, Wife, and Bride

This chapter is going to focus on the two people involved in a marriage. Two because last time I checked, there are only two people involved in a marriage; for those who may have two or more of one or the other, we will address that in a later chapter. For now I would just add that there are only two people in a marriage: a male and a female. For those of you who may think this book was going to condone homosexuality then you might as well accept it now—it is not.

Now right away I know some may be asking why the distinction is between wife and bride and not husband and groom—and there is a good reason for this. In short, today’s culture on marriage sees a bride as one who is newly married and therefore still fun, but a wife is the old ball and chain representing the end of the husband’s life. I would ask you to think as you read ahead whether there should there be a distinction. Keep this question in your thoughts for when you get to the