Dark Poetry

By Ryan Tanner

In this book, you will find that I have had a hard life. When I was 15, I started writing poetry, and what you see here is the outcome. I used my emotions as the origin and casted it onto paper. You may learn about my life just by reading this book. Its mostly about depression and anxiety, including suicide. This does not promote suicide. It can be inspirational, mood changing, or even heart-wrenching. You may relate to this as you relate to music.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Apr 21, 2018
• ISBN: 9781546238089

Ryan Tanner

Well , to begin with, my name is Ryan Tanner and im 18 years old. As you read my poetry, you will notice ive went down a bumpy road. All of my poetry is original and comes from the heart. I have actually felt this way, and it was not a favorable memory. The origins of my crippling depression consist of mostly hard breakups. I also suffer with anxiety. I overthink a lot. And i sometimes think myself into depression. I have spent a total of 12 days in mental hospitals, 6 days in each. It wasnt that bad of an experience, as i met some great people there. I do recommend going to a hospital for help. It pays off. Life is to short to be thinking about taking your own life, you have your entire life ahead of you. you can make the change to better your life, no matter how hard it may seem. Even when youre at your worst state of mind, in the end you will ALWAYS be okay. If you or anyone else around you are having suicidal thoughts, reach out and ask for help. You can call the suicide hotline number which i have provided below. Suicide is not a joking matter, and teenagers take their lives everyday. Your life is valued, even if you feel like it isnt. The people around you care, You are not alone. You can follow me on instagram, @officialryantanner Suicide hotline number: 1-800-273-8255 I really appreciate your purchase of my book. I hope you enjoy it and i hope all of your dreams come true.

Book preview

© 2018 RYAN TANNER. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 04/13/2018

ISBN: 978-1-5462-3809-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5462-3808-9 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

CREDITS

EXPEDITION OF HAPPINESS.

I WON’T GIVE UP

REMINISCE

NEVER GOOD ENOUGH

NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM.

YOUR LOSS.

CHASING DREAMS

NOTHING LESS.

ONCE AGAIN

LOST

OLD ME.

SAME PAIN, DIFFERENT DAY.

RISE

NIGHTMARE

THE INVISIBLE.

CALAMITY.

KNOCKED DOWN.

WAR INSIDE MY HEAD.

MOVE ON

CROSSING STARS.

MY LIFE

CHANGE.

TRY

GET BACK UP

DISTANCED

ONCE A FAILURE, ALWAYS A FAILURE.

POET IMMORTALITY.

BROKEN HOME.

BROKEN HOME (REWROTE)

FALLING.

FOREVER

BROKEN

FANTASIZE.

WHERE DID I GO WRONG?

MONSTER.

LET ME LOVE YOU IF NOT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, THEN FOR THE REST OF MINE.

INVISIBLE.

IM BACK.

WHAT IF I TOLD YOU?

ALONE.

MY ROAD TO HAPPINESS.

GRAVE.

AGAIN AND AGAIN.

YOU’RE LIKE A HEART THAT DOESN’T BEAT.

LIFE IS A BOOK. WRITE IT.

MOVING ON

WORLD’S HATRED.

SUICIDE NOTE.

TAKEN FOR GRANTED

DEAD INSIDE

SLIPPING AWAY

WORDS AS WEAPONS

BEAT DOWN

YOUR LOSS.

CREDITS

I want to thank the following people for helping me through the process of getting my book published, and pushing me to keep fighting through the hardships.

Charity Ellis

Corey Butler

Camryn White

Sonya Phillips

Gary Mason

Megan Delbridge

Michelle Tanner (mom)

Justin Hess (brother)

Larry Tanner (dad)

I also want to give a big thanks to the team that helped put my book together, and made it possible to achieve and fulfill my dream.

EXPEDITION OF HAPPINESS.

I’m tired of feeling this way.

It’s time I make a change.

Running from my demons trying to escape.

Its time I turn this around, hope for a brighter day.

I’m dropping the gun, I’m throwing away the pills.

I’m making my life better, I dont care how this makes you feel.

I’ve been trying to make everyone happy, while dragging myself down.

I’ve been searching for happiness, but hope is what I found.

I’m not going to live the rest of my life depressed.

I’m making a change, clean up this mess.

Organizing my life, throwing away the poisons.

That means the people, negatives, and silencing the voices.

Life is to short, to feel such way.

I’m standing up, I’m gonna numb the pain.

If that means I lose everything, I’m willing to take that chance.

If you want to fight this with me, here, take my hand.

I WON’T GIVE UP

I live a life of torture,

While others, live a life of fortune.

I know my poetry is all the same.

But i Express my feelings so I dont go insane.

I’m afraid of being alone.

I’m constantly postponed.

I’m lost, but I’m at home.

Come on help me, answer the phone.

I’m trying to reach out, but you won’t grab my hand.

I’m slipping away, like grains of sand.

Falling apart, deep within.

Trying to rise up but I only descend.

You see me suffer, you ignore.

You rub it in my face, you fucking whore.

You let me down, once again.

You know I feel suicidal, but I’ll never give in.

REMINISCE

These hoes are too quick to open their legs,

You got money and they begin to beg.

Push them off and they come crawling back up.

Trying to fuck you for money and don’t want any love.

Girls these days are fucking ridiculous.

You give them everything and they cheat on you with trash.

Leave you in the dust, rip out your heart.

You sit alone at home wishing you could find something that’ll last.

I’ve searched for years and found nothing.

Digging deeper and deeper but find nothing.

Now I’m in a hole that I can’t get out of,

I beat myself to shit because I can’t find love.

I have anxiety so it’s hard to talk to girls.

But If i dont start the convo then they’ll never say a word.

I’ve tried and tried but get rejected.

They say they’ll always be there but I get neglected.

Curved, dissed, hurt, betrayed.

Torn out, laughed at, judged, pushed away.

I’m still here chasing girls trying to find the one.

I found one but if she turns me down i promise I’ll be done.

Done with chasing girls, as i never have luck.

My rep is bad because I didn’t give a fuck.

Now I’m here regretting my past,

Because if I was