Hallelujah

By Renata Rivka

Renata shares what she thinks led to her having a very sheltered childhood on a dairy farm, where she regularly heard her mother being cut down and other discouragements. She shares some of the things that helped her maintain her sanity during the years where she lived on the farm and she was discouraged from interacting with anybody other than family. Also, she shares what God used to help give her the courage to finally break free. Then Renata shares the many joys and trials she has encountered since she broke free. Finally, she shares how she is seeing God improve things for her family.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Feb 19, 2018
• ISBN: 9781973609582

Renata Rivka

Renata grew up on a dairy farm in a small town where she was home schooled and home churched. She has gotten a degree in Dairy Science and Clinical Laboratory Science as she considered becoming a veterinarian and had seen the need for both during her time on the farm. She enjoys volunteering with numerous organizations as she tries to bless others as God blessed her and spending time with her cats.

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Copyright © 2018 Renata Rivka.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

Scripture quotations are from the Catholic Edition of the Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright © 1965, 1966 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture taken from the American Standard Version of the Bible.

WestBow Press

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Bloomington, IN 47403

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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ISBN: 978-1-9736-0959-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-0960-5 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-0958-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017918292

WestBow Press rev. date: 02/12/2018

CONTENTS

Prologue

What Started It All

Introduction to My Family

Grandma Nancy

Catholic Duty Trips

Home Schooling

1997 Journal Entry Confessions

The Neighbors

Typical Day Growing Up

Distrust of Strangers, Especially Men

Benefits of the Sheltered Life

Depression Period

The Packers and the Changes They Brought

Going to Church

Buttercup City Bible Church

Ash-Pine Veterinary Clinic and Dr. Reuben F

First Move off the Farm

Abby’s Move

College at Catalpa City

College Organization Developing Christian Leaders CODCL at College at Catalpa City

Stretching My Comfort Zone

Summer Jobs While at CCC

Fun with Tree Sparrow Hall Friends

Training Camp for College Organization Developing Christian Leaders CODCL

Abby’s First Cancer Scare & My First Move to Rose City

Back to The Training Camp for CODCL

Moving to Cherry Blossom City

College at Cherry Blossom City

Finding work at Cherry Blossom City

Ruby

Getting Established in Cherry Blossom City

Geranium City

Abby’s Second Cancer Scare & My Accident, Causing More Life Changes

The Medical Facility of Combined Practices

Unemployed attempt to write story

Unemployment Period

College Organization Developing Christian Leaders Job

North Central Second-Hand Retail Store Job

The Organization Releasing Children from Poverty in Jesus’ Name at Rosemary City

Rosemary City Evangelical Free Church

Rosemary City Alliance

Rosemary City Gospel

Back to Rose City

Stretching Out

Changes After Grandma Nancy Died

The Bible on Suffering

The Bible on Beliefs

Epilogue

About the Author

PROLOGUE

Everybody has a story. Some people’s stories may include one or more of the following events: surviving physical abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, drug abuse, or alcohol abuse, the loss of one or both parents, prejudice, accidents, etc. Then there are some who may not have had anything like these things happen to them and may not feel like they have much of a story. Well, as I know from family experience how much some people hate it when others pry into their business, and because I struggle with making myself draw people out, I do not always get to hear your story. For this I am sorry, because while I do not want to pry if you do not want to share, I love stories and would love to hear yours.

Right before I started to write my story, I had read a book called More Than a Ring by Don Beebe with Bob Schaller. I found it to be quite inspirational and in a format I thought would be easy for me to also write in as I wrote my own story as it looked like Don wrote an overview of his life’s testimony and Bob then filled in more details. Up to then I thought and had tried multiple times to write my story in full rather than an overview repeatedly filled in more. In Don’s book I really appreciated how he shared how the many different events the Lord had allowed Don to go through so that Don could share his story and people could learn about the Lord. That is what I have come to learn as well with my story.

So, I have chosen to write this story because of this saying of Don’s, plus because of how at about the same time as I read this book, I heard a broadcast of Family Life on 91.9FM, which also advocated sharing one’s story with others. Also, I once had a roommate, Ruby C, tell me how I should write a book telling my story. I did try a couple of times prior to this but never got very far. It was not until I read Don’s book that I finally got further than just a few pages covering maybe a month to a year of my life. In fact, the very first paragraph of this prologue was one attempt at starting to write my story.

English writing has never been my strongest subject, but I hope that you will find my story inspiring nonetheless. By the world’s standards, I have yet to find real success. But I know that the real measure of success is the Lord’s, and I hope that I have been successful by his standards. This said, I will now share my story.

Due to the privacy my family always desires, the names of EVERYONE mentioned in this book other than when I am quoting those whom have indirectly influenced my life like sports, Biblical, other religious figures, etc. have been changed as have EVERYPLACE’S names. As my friend Rissa H said, the glory is for the Lord and not for any of the individual characters or places. May the Lord be magnified!

Renata Rivka

(I ended up choosing this name as I went on meaning-of-names.com as I tried to determine what name I wanted to use when my previously selected name got rejected from being a possibility. I ended up choosing Renata as it means born anew in its France origins and Rivka as it means servant of God in its Israel origins which is fitting as this book is written by a person who is a born anew servant of God.)

WHAT STARTED IT ALL

I considered going back in my mind’s eye to when I was age ten which I usually refer to as being when a major life change happened and I then tend to credit many other life changes to that time frame too. On second thought though I am going back to when I was seventeen years which is when I started to think for myself rather than just following my grandmothers thinking.

In my mind’s eye, I am sitting on the front porch of our two-story brick house in Lilac City by the front door which is on the west side of the house. The house which was built in the early 1900s has a door on every side of the house but the rear door on the east is the one most frequently used. As I’m on the front porch that would mean the neighbors in a similar looking brick house right across the road set back across a vast expanse of lawn aren’t home as the only time I or my sisters are allowed on the front porch is when nobody next door is home.

Looking past the peony patch in the middle of our front lawn and the catalpa bush with another patch of peonies I am looking west at my neighbor’s place. As mentioned earlier it has a two-story brick house, a couple garages and an old unused barn. Right behind their property my family’s property resumes as a farm field. My uncle, Larry, owns over 200 acres of crop lands. Then across the field about a half mile away is some woodlands which my uncle owns, but it was probably when I turned 18 Uncle Larry sold the woods for enough money to get himself finally completely out of debt or maybe he already has, I cannot remember.

As that is as far west as I can see I sweep my gaze north. To the north of the neighbor’s place is an old cheese factory. While it operated during my earlier childhood years it no longer is operating as a cheese factory. Instead the current owners appear to use it as a place to build up their racecars as throughout the week one hears the roaring of engines coming from the factory and we see racecars being pulled up and leaving from the area.

Looking further north past our twelve pine trees and solo birch tree I see a couple more operating dairy farms less than a quarter mile down the road pretty much right across the road from each other. Then about a mile north of our farm at the top of the hill are a couple more farms. One is a hobby farm and the other only has a few horses.

As that is as far north as I can see I then sweep my gaze south over close to one hundred acres of hay land as my grandmother feels that hay is the most profitable. My gaze skims over my uncle cutting hay in his big white Case tractor with an enclosed cab and then continues until about a mile south of our property my gaze comes to rest on two more farms. One is an operating farm while the other just has dilapidated buildings other than the new house that was recently moved onto the place after they destroyed the old house that used to stand there. As I draw my gaze back towards where I’m sitting, about a hundred yards from where I am sitting, I see a small wooded area which my sisters and I are allowed to play earning it the name Children’s Woods. It consists of a very old maple, containing a branch as big around as my head to which a tire swing is tied to and many plum and honeysuckle trees. Just north of it is the big flower garden containing many rose bushes, peonies, lilies of the valley, honey suckle bush and raspberry plants plus a golden delicious apple tree which my mom bought and planted there.

From where I sit on the front porch I can’t actually see any further but from memory I know that just east of the big flower garden is a gray shingled house built in the late 1800s which we call George’s House. Nobody lives there since my uncle bought the place in 1976. It is here that my grandmother lets my sisters and me play. East of the house is several very old apple trees and some old wooden calf hutches. East of them is where our farm buildings start. On the south end, there is an upright concrete silo, behind it and going north is the blue tin cattle shed where the young stock are housed. Where the big red barn stretches east to west and the shed attaches to the barn stands another upright concrete silo which contents caught fire in my late teen years, in front of the silo stands the white milkhouse. To the north of the barn, built into a hill, is another upright concrete silo which my uncle had built to store corn. A bit further north and west of the barn is a corn crib and other older calf hutches with tin roofs and wooden frames. Next to them on the west is the big blue tin machine shed which stretches south to north. In the front of the machine shed is the garage where the family vehicles stand. They consist of a red Chevy Silverado and a blue gray Dodge Caravan which my grandmother picked out as being one she would feel comfortable riding in and have ease getting in and out of plus having enough room for all in the family.

Coming back toward the house which is separated from all the other buildings on the property by a U-shaped driveway and following the sidewalk to the house one sees the summerhouse just to the east of the house which Grandma Nancy had the family work together to build where we first started to get to watch TV again and which ultimately was meant to be where we held our recycling until we were ready to take it to the dump. At the house, one takes a couple steps up to the back door. Entering the back door, you need to be careful as in mere feet there is the stairways leading to the three rooms in the basement. Turning south away from the steps though you are in the entry room at this point containing a couple tables piled high with papers and projects, a bookshelf, a refrigerator, a gas stove, and an older chest freezer. Off the entry room to the south one sees the bathroom we use to change in and out of farm clothes. Then off the entry room to the west one enters the kitchen with a table set up in the middle. The kitchen contains cupboards all around the kitchen other than where an electric stove sits, three doorways and along the east wall. Going through the south doorway one enters the room which used to be the library room which got converted into the school room. It still contains a bookshelf of books and several other pieces of furniture all of them piled with projects. Off the library to the west is a full bathroom. This room also has projects piled all over. On the other side of the bathroom’s other door is Grandma Nancy’s room which she has piled high with school materials and games and other items. Then going through the door on the north side is the living room which has a pool table, bookshelves, a table, a couple rocking chairs, a divan with matching chair and a few other pieces of furniture all covered with projects other than the divan and matching chair as the divan is where my youngest sister now sleeps, Ma sleeps on the matching chair and I sleep on a full-length lawn chair. Along the north wall is a closet under the staircase leading upstairs to three bedrooms and another full bathroom at the far end of the hallway. If you go upstairs the first door on the east will be the bedroom where all but my uncle slept for many years and where my grandmother and older sisters still sleep. To the south still on the east side of the hallway is my uncle’s bedroom. The only room on the west side of the hall is also my grandmother’s room. It is here that she is usually found praying and watching the neighbors. Back down the stairs there is the remaining room on the main floor which is now the dining room which used to be the family room with the pool table. All the rooms which I had just toured in my mind’s eye also contain projects in all but the main walkways and on the furniture which is still being used on a daily basis.

As I am sitting on the front porch at seventeen, I have come to the realization that my mom and grandmother had not waited until they were thirty to marry, like they were requesting of my sisters and me, but had both been married in their early twenties and had been done giving birth to their children by the age of thirty. As I contemplate this I realize that at my age they obviously then had likely had enough interaction with people of the other gender and maybe even been friends already with the guy they were going to marry. The thought makes me mad and hurt that my family would have isolated my sisters and me in this way. Also, as I take in the buildings on my farm I think in despair of the disrepair they have fallen into because of lack of money, lack of ambition and overall as distrust of others has truly taken its toll on the desire to maintain them in good condition. All these are fueling my desire today and has set me contemplating what I need to do so that I can change things so that I can become a part of society which they have so successfully cut me off from and made me scared of.

INTRODUCTION TO MY FAMILY

I was born a big chunky girl one-ounce shy of ten pounds to a 26-year-old Catholic woman in Wisteria City. I joined two remaining sisters that cold, wintery January day six years to the day after sadly Roe vs Wade made a woman’s rights more important than protecting an innocent baby’s life. I joined a skinny blond haired, blue eyed six-year-old sister, Dora whom I missed sharing a birthday with by just a few days.

Right around the time Ma was due to give birth to Dora she shares how she had been chasing some cows who had gotten loose. As she chased the cows she hit a patch of ice and fell. Upon falling her water broke but when she went into the hospital the doctors were unable to get her to go into labor. As Ma had a wedding she wanted to go to that afternoon she convinced the doctor to let her go home. A week later Ma went into labor and as it was going to be a dry birth, the doctors highly drugged her so she could escape most of the difficulty and pain associated with a dry birth and a first child. Ma says she remembers how several times during the labor process she would come out of the drugged state enough to realize how there were resident doctors also attending to the delivery. Ma remember how one or two of the residents she recognized having gone to school with them.

Then Ma likes to say how two years, two months and two days later Sandy another blond haired, blue eyed girl was born. Compared to Dora, Ma had a relatively easy time and really has never shared anything about her delivery other than after Sandy was born Ma called her brother Larry who at that time had moved from Wisteria City to Lilac City to wish him a happy birthday and to inform him how he was an uncle again.

Then about a year later Ma and her family had an incredibly rough year as her dad, Robert and youngest brother, Nekoda battled cancer and passed away. Nekoda had had a lump on his upper leg for a while before someone else learned of it and took him in to the doctor to get it looked at. Robert I think was battling exhaustion when he was diagnosed. That same year Ma gave birth to another daughter, Nelly, who was quite sickly with everything she ate coming out one end or the other so she was never able to leave the hospital but was taken to the hospital in Crocus City where Robert and Nekoda also went for their treatments. By the end of that year all three had ended up passing away.

A few months after Nekoda had been diagnosed he had graduated from high school and that fall he and his mother, my Grandma Nancy, had started college. As the treatments continued and Grandma Nancy started to talk about discontinuing college to be able to spend more time with her sick family. Nekoda would say to Robert, If Mom quits going to college we can quit fighting too, right Dad? Grandpa Robert would then agree. So even after Robert and Nekoda passed Grandma Nancy continued to go to college even as family and friends questioned her decision.

Three years later was when I was born. Then just shy of seventeen months later, Ma went into labor shortly after midnight following Father’s Day and shortly after she arrived at the hospital and before the doctor arrived she gave birth to her last daughter Abby. As she had tried to prepare me for having a little sister, Ma had taken to carrying a doll around instead of me. Up to the day Abby was born I had never walked on my own but when Ma came home carrying Abby, she shares how I had run to her calling Dolly.

As Abby and I were so close in age, we usually did everything together with encouragement from the family. Grandma Nancy I remember was always telling us how sisters should make the best of friends like the sisters in the book Little Women.

While growing up I remember being the smallest in the family, and among my classmates during kindergarten through fourth grade which were the years I wasn’t homeschooled, with my fine boned features. Abby was big boned so from the time I remember she was always about an inch or so taller than me. I was a petite girl with thin, straight shoulder length brown hair (until my teenage years when Grandma Nancy finally allowed my sisters and me to start growing our hair out), a light spattering of freckles, big blue eyes and a timid smile, usually not showing the teeth as Grandma Nancy did not like toothy smiles. I cannot remember why but she was always having us practice smiling our best smile without showing our teeth. Also, I was and still am a bit self-conscious of slightly overlapping teeth and a slight overbite that I have. Overall, I remember being a bright kid towards the top of the class especially when it came to reading as I remember being grouped with a few fellow students to read our readers while the teacher would work with another group which was struggling more. I also was timid among my peers. I remember how I would hopefully watch the most popular girls or older boys as they played during recesses hoping they would include me which I never was. While I was timid when I was included in play I wasn’t much for role playing with classmates or more specifically with a classmate of Abby when Abby would let me join her and the classmate. That was because I hated being bossed around and would frustrate quickly with anyone other than adults if they tried to tell me what to do which is what I felt that Abby’s friend would do as she would try to direct me in the role she wanted me to play. I am not sure if my discomfort with role playing was because Grandma Nancy discouraged us from making animal noises unless we held that animal, or car noises unless we had a car, etc. or if I just wasn’t comfortable pretending. As I play with my niece I realize I still have the same discomfort with play acting and would rather read, play games, etc. than make believe with dolls. While growing up there were plenty of other friends of Abby’s those four years of public school which I would join with in play but after a period just would get fed up with the pretend play. When at home I remember playing a lot with Abby with our toy cars, animals, dolls, etc. and not being fed up all the time so at this time I am not sure why it was such a big deal with Abby’s friends.

My fondest memories growing up would include reading. I remember from some of my earliest memories sitting on Ma’s lap or curled next to her as she read Abby and me nursery rhymes which progressed to Amelia Bedelia and similar books, then to Black Stallion, The Boxcar Children, Happy Hollisters and Trixie Belden and then eventually to Hardy Boys. Growing up on a farm, I remember fondly Ma smelling of hard farm work, a mix of sweat and dairy cows. I also remember often watching her lips as she read and how on the corners Ma’s lips would stick together and slowly peel apart as she read. Additionally, I enjoyed spending time in a garden trying to make it so that the flower or vegetable which was planted could be seen and while I rarely made it weed free at least there were a lot less weeds or the weeds would be kept from blocking our view of the flowers or vegetable. Otherwise when I wasn’t doing those things, school work, or farm work I was usually involved doing something with Abby. I have a ton of memories playing with Abby. They include cutting pictures out of magazines to create play house, paper dolls, paper animals, etc. Others include playing with a talking typewriter, Lite Brite, Etch a Sketch, our toy dolls (usually school as Grandma Nancy had been a school teacher and had lots of school materials we could have our dolls play) or our toy animals. Abby and I wished our cattle were horses and so we did our best to train them like a horse. When it came to halter breaking we actually were very good and it was beneficial to the calf and later the farm as they got lots of attention and were very tame. Also, I remember loving to do lots of crafts with Abby which included knitting, making homemade looms, making our own paper dolls and animals, etc.

Dora being six years my senior was always about a foot taller than me until my later teen years when I caught up with her at 5’4". She looked a lot like me as her blond hair darkened to brown and had a slightly bigger build, more pronounced freckles and as she had splashed chemicals in her one eye when she was younger that eye tended to be a lazy eye so she was required to wear glasses with the other eye patched. Usually she would not do so though. Being the oldest Dora tended to come across as being superior and the family bent over backwards to keep her happy. She and I often clashed because of how I felt she never cared to know my opinion on any matter. She often had her nose stuck in a book or newspapers as she sought to glean information so she could join adult conversations whenever the family would eat a meal together. Usually meals together were only for a family member’s birthday or a holiday like Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas and occasionally Fourth of July. Otherwise Uncle Larry was usually busy working off the farm or trying to complete all the farm chores which none of the rest could do (fixing the barn cleaner, silo unloader or most of the field work-Ma would try to help some with the field work but most of it fell to Uncle Larry).

Sandy being four years my senior also was always about a foot taller than me until my late teen years when I also caught up with her at 5’4". Her blond hair as a young girl had also darkened to a brown color around the time she started school. She looked a lot like me other than she was ganglier and had a pronounced overbite. She usually had a ready smile with teeth as her overbite was quite pronounced which she usually wore unless you had provoked her and had yet to make up with her. She also had a disability which put her mentally several years behind. Starting in her late teen years you would find Sandy where she could be listening to the radio which is why she often never rejected the chance to do chores as she could listen to a radio station or two in the barn. Then after I left the farm in 2001, Sandy started carrying a portable radio around with her most everywhere she went.

Abby in many ways was like the rest of us. Where she was different though was in how pale her complexion was which never tanned but burned, her brown hair was naturally wavy, course and very thick and she was big boned. She ended up surpassing all in my family in height ending at 5’7". She also had a ready smile and she was very bright. From the earliest age, she knew what was expected and knew how to get my family’s approval in many areas which they might have been reluctant to do otherwise. An example is how when she was in kindergarten Abby shared a quote she made up and claimed a friend told her it. From that quote, my family still affectionately remembers her friend and had been willing to let Abby and her be friends. Abby had also been able to figure out how to knit, crochet and almost anything else she set up her mind to do just by watching others. She also became the family poet and wrote close to a hundred poems which she had always wanted to get put to music and to hear someday on the radio. I helped her get at least one song put to music in 2001 when I asked a friend if he could look through a pamphlet Abby had given me for Christmas which contained all the poems she had written to that point and put one to music. He had though as he played by ear the music had never been written down anywhere but was just a recording of him singing a song and playing his guitar. Ma surprised her once by typing all the poems up and mailing them to Xlibris Publishing to get the poems published under the name of Marie Maria.

Ma also was 5’4", blue eyed and had thin brown hair which she always tried to grow out but was never very successful at getting it past shoulder length. My entire childhood she struggled to lose the excess pounds which made her lap very soft and welcoming as she would welcome us to join her as she gladly would read us books. Ma’s extra pounds came due to her love of food which often she would eat for comfort when she and her mother, my Grandma Nancy, would fight which was usually several times a day. Ma really wanted to please Grandma Nancy but Grandma Nancy always wanted things done exactly as requested with no variance whatsoever and on top of that she was such a perfectionist that Ma rarely could please. For example, when Grandma Nancy would send Ma to shop for her she expected Ma home right at the time she had calculated it would take Ma to find the items at the store and the drive time to and from the store. Also, Ma wasn’t as bright as Grandma Nancy seemed to wish Ma was so that in many areas Ma struggled including confidence and managing her money which was just interest from her certificate of deposits she had in the bank from when she and her husband sold their farm often resulting in bounced checks which Grandma Nancy would agitatedly express her irritation over but would cover anyway. Ma also was never really good at figuring out just what people expected of her and doing so, but she loved being with people. She usually within minutes could be found deep in conversation with people she just met. A fact which I think Grandma Nancy did not like as Grandma Nancy was very private, preferring not to share conversations with others but would do so just to appear appropriately social. Also, I think Ma’s conversational mannerisms bothered Grandma Nancy as she would have Ma’s schedule worked for her down almost to the minute and so she would get worked up when Ma would be 10-60 minutes later than Grandma Nancy had planned on her being. Whenever Ma was late Grandma Nancy seemed to have imagined the worst thing possible as having happened.

Grandma Nancy also was 5’4" but started to shrink and stoop becoming increasingly frail looking while I grew up. It was not until I grew up that I realized her dark brown hair was actually maintained through her regular visits to a hairdresser which also helped keep curls in her hair. Once she decided to retire from teaching she then had Ma become her hairdresser which is when I first thought she turned gray. When Grandma Nancy smiled it would transform her otherwise very serious, often severe features.

Ma, whose name I first learned in my teenage years was Nora, married at age nineteen in 1971 as Grandma Nancy said she did not want Ma to marry younger than that. As teenagers my youngest sister, Abby, and I decided Ma probably had married in order to find love, which Grandma Nancy had rarely showed to her. Shortly after that time Ma mentioned to us how she also reached that conclusion.

While growing up I do not ever recall Grandma Nancy showing anybody physical affection in hugs, kisses, etc. This, in large part, was due to Grandma Nancy having a really bad back, which affected the way she interacted with people, and how she viewed them. Whenever interest would be expressed in giving her any physical affection she always was quick to remind us how bad her back was and how easily it was made worse. Throughout my childhood, I remember how her back would bother her and how it limited her in carrying things or moving things. Often, she would try carrying different things but would often have to ask for help or if she didn’t Grandma Nancy would have to take it easy for days following it and would be found sitting a lot more praying, listening to a radio or reading a book. Her sitting instead of moving around became more and more pronounced in my later teen years up to when she passed away. Instead of affection, I remember Grandma Nancy’s desire for perfection from all of us.

All through my childhood I remember how Ma never seemed good enough for her, resulting in Grandma Nancy sharing with my sisters and me numerous times about when Ma disappointed her in the past. One of Grandma Nancy’s often repeated memory of when Ma disappointed her follows, When your ma was two years old, she would always beg and beg to be carried until her dad would give your ma her way even though she knew how to walk. Ma would share with us later how when she was two she had had a bubble in the leg which made walking difficult which is why she would always want to be carried. Another memory of how Ma disappointed Grandma Nancy was in how Grandma Nancy had informed Ma how she was not to marry before she turned 19 so right after she turned 19, your Ma had married, to a guy that your Grandpa Robert (Ma’s dad) had repeatedly warned her could write any sort of nice things on paper as it would hold still for him to write anything your Pa would feel like writing.

So, Ma, hoping she could find love by getting away from Grandma Nancy, married my dad, Arthur, in 1971. Then sometime after 1976, when Grandma Nancy lost her youngest son and husband, she ended up moving in with Ma maybe around the time Ma and Pa moved to Echinacea City when I was one. It hadn’t been immediately after her loved ones passed away though as I recently found a letter from Grandma Nancy to a family member sharing how it may have seemed like bad timing so soon after her loved ones had died for her to leave Wisteria City to go to college in Ranunculus City but it was what her deceased loved ones had wanted her to do, to finish her education and get a degree for teaching.

Ma’s marriage got rocky less than ten years after she married and it fell apart after Grandma Nancy discovered how Pa was sexually abusing his two oldest daughters, Dora and Sandy, who were ages six and eight at the time. I was only two and my youngest sister, Abby, was just one at this time. So, the only details I know about the abuse are the ones Grandma Nancy told Abby and me. If Abby or I were ever abused neither of us ever remembered and Grandma Nancy had never seemed to suspect that either of us had been. Just how Grandma Nancy had discovered Dora and Sandy being abused I would learn as she would tell the stories only to Abby, me or Ma, as Grandma Nancy would always say, I do not want your older sisters to have to remember any of these bad memories. Overall, other than when Grandma Nancy shared about the bad things Pa had done, we were discouraged from ever talking about Pa, meaning I never heard my sisters’ side of the story and never really heard anything from Ma about Pa other than what Grandma Nancy already had told us. But Grandma Nancy wanted to make sure we knew the bad things your Pa had done but your Ma would get in trouble with the courts if she shared any of these things, as the courts would look at it as if your Ma was trying to prevent you girls from wanting to have anything more to do with your Pa. Following are some of the details Grandma Nancy gave us.

Your mom often woke up in the middle of the night to Dora and Sandy crying and only with a bath would they stop crying.

"At