The Real Story of Paddy the Englishman, This Ain’T No Joke

By P. Randolph Newman

This is the story of one mans journey through life on a path filled with love, hurt, regret and joy, come walk with him.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Dec 18, 2017
• ISBN: 9781546283980

P. Randolph Newman

This is difficult as you know the book is of my life story but I want to disguise that fact. So, I'll try this. P Randolph Newman is a 65 year old retired but well-traveled enthusiastic new writer who lives in Wexford Ireland..

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

The Young Entrepreneur

Paddy has asked me to relate his story as he is in bad health and with his eyesight down to about only twenty percent of what it should be as a result of the stroke he suffered and the effects of natural ageing but he wants his story told before it’s too late. As Paddy was telling me his story it became obvious to me there was a lot of sadness and humour in his life, I have been a friend to Paddy and agreed to do so, there are private matters in it, some I didn’t know beforehand so I’m learning to, there are some places and names altered to protect and respect the privacy of others concerned but the basis of the story is as correct as possible. I only hope I can do his story justice. You may like him or loath him this story is not about that it’s a story of how given a chance you can make something of yourself, albeit with the ability of sending it tumbling down again.

This is the story of Paddy, it’s sometimes humorous and other times grory, from a boy growing up as a stranger in a strange land a recurring theme in his life as you’ll read later on in his story. From seeing 8 year old girls in their first holy communion dresses and asking his parents aren’t they very young to be getting married, and being told not to point out that people had dirt on their foreheads on Ash Wednesday two of the things he wasn’t aware of growing up in London going to a national school and coming from a not very religious family. And then to bloody fights on the streets of Dublin.

Paddy was a normal schoolboy going to a normal school in London, that’s where his adventures began, at the age of 7, one day he realized that school dinners were paid for on a Monday morning to his first teacher of the day and names were put into a dinner book and passed around the classes, the teacher that took his money and name did not always attend the dining hall so Paddy saw an opportunity for free school dinners so saving the money for himself and family he thought the school system could handle one pupil not paying, the days when the teacher that was supposed to have taken his money was on dinner duty, he would just go down to the local chip shop and feed himself with chips and pickled onions, the times the teacher wasn’t on duty he would just queue up with the other pupils, not every pupil took school diners some brought packed lunches, some would go to the chip shop, to help his family out he would never take pocket money, and with the proceeds of his other pursuits would give his mother some money to help things out.

Another money making scheme he had going was on match days as he lived very near the Tottenham Hotspur ground, as the supporters were parking their cars he would ask them if they wanted their cars looked after a lot of them agreed some would give money up front others on their return, little known to them as soon as they were out of sight Paddy was away and of to watch the match himself leaving a couple of minutes early to get back to his look out spot and gather any money owed for the minding hoping that everything would be alright with his charges Paddy never heard any complaint and on match days he had repeat business which is always good.

Paddy became a victim of London’s infamous smog, not through the choking soot filled lung clogging thickness that clung to every air particle, but to its thickness that obscures all sight.

He was walking home from school one of those grey days hugging the kerb as to find his way along the unseen path then without notice or forewarning he walked into a concrete lamppost, He knew he wasn’t far from home but had to cross the road, so he just pointed himself at right angles to the kerb and walked as fast as he could till he reached the far side.

there would only be one winner here and it wasn’t Paddy, he reeled back from the blow with a pain he had never felt before, breaking his two front teeth, blood and tooth material were flowing from his mouth, he wanted to scream but every intake of breath brought more excruciating pain, he kept his mouth closed, Which meant he had to swallow the blood and the broken teeth, Paddy was on the wrongside of the hidden road but desperately wanted to get home to his mum who would make all this better,

He knew he wasn’t far from home but had to cross the road, so he just pointed himself at right angles to the kerb and walked as fast as he could till he reached the far side. When Paddy got home his mother took him to the dentist as it was only around the corner, upon reaching the dentist office he was brought in immediately the dentist said to his mother we can save his teeth knowing know what that entailed in the future paddy would have been better to have had them removed altogether then and there, but hindsight is a great thing. The dentist said they could fit plastic caps over the broken teeth as a temporary measure but he will have to get porcelain caps at the age of 16, so after giving Paddy’s gum the necessary anesthetic injections, the dentist started filing down the broken teeth for the caps to fit after Paddy was put to sleep using gas, the next thing the young Paddy knew he woke up in hospital with his mother and now his father who by this stage had been notified and joined them, it seems that the dentist could not wake Paddy up and had ordered an ambulance to take Paddy to the hospital to be revived, after spending a night in hospital Paddy was released none the worse for his experience. Later on in his story Dentists would again play a big part in his life

Paddy went to a dentist in Dublin to get the permanent porcelain caps put on when he was sixteen but the dentist said he needed to file down the teeth more to fit the new caps, more shots into his gums to deaden the nerves and the fileling began and then the new teeth were fitted, all was ok till Paddy got home then he said the pain started by this time the dentist was closed so his parents brought him down to the dental hospital where they found out the dentist had filed the teeth down too far meaning the new caps were now touching the exposed nerves. The only thing they could do for him was to slit his gums open and remove the nerves. After this was done he was stitched up and he had no more pain and he vowed to himself never to go near a dentist again.

Another not so much money making scheme more so money saving, was that somehow Paddy’s father had found out about some coal that had been buried under some grass on what was called the Tottenham Marshes, Paddy and His father would head up to the waste ground with one of those old fashioned prams and fill it up, they would dig out the top layer of grass and soil to reveal the layer of coal underneath.

When Paddy asked his father why it was there he was told it had been a coal store or yard during the war and after that the coal would have been taken away however they had left a thin layer on the ground that had been trampled in and just covered over with soil, and forgotten about till now. Paddy and his father would take the pram and a