Pain & Adrenalin

By D. Swift

These are the memories, stories and tales you tell in the pub with a couple of drinks inside you. Some of the things I have done I am not proud of but they made me what I am. The injuries received, the places I have been and what was done while there are all here from criminal activity to things the Government may well deny. Sailing as close to the Official Secrets Act as I can the tale is told. From Pay clerk to SAS and a Royal Driver.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Dec 2, 2009
• ISBN: 9781467005814

D. Swift

I'm from Sheffield, UK and had quite a good childhood. Working in civi street did not suit me so I enlisted into the army. I've had 4 different cap badges and served in 33 countries, some on active service. My life has been like a boys book of adventures. I have tried most sports and some have got me into trouble. My army record shows me as Exemplory conduct and I was awarded the LSGC medal. If they only know the truth.

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© 2010 D Swift. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 5/11/2010

ISBN: 978-1-4490-3958-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4670-0581-4 (ebk)

Contents

SHEFFIELD, ENGLAND. 1950.

DARLEY DALE, MATLOCK 1961

SEATON CAREW, HARTLEPOOL 1968

Aldershot

Hartlepool.

WORTHY DOWN 1970

BERLIN, WEST GERMANY 1970

Sennelager, West Germany. 1971

CATTERICK, YORKSHIRE.

NORTHERN IRELAND, BELFAST. October 1971 to February 1972

CATTERICK. 1972

CANADA 1972

CATTERICK

BELFAST July 1972

Catterick 1972

BELFAST 1973

Catterick

Aldershot 1973

THORNEY ISLAND. Sept 1973

LYNEHAM. 1973

Cyprus 1974

CANADA

Northern Ireland 1975

Lyneham

KEYNSHAM, BRISTOL. 1976.

Belgium 1976

Keynsham

Minden, West Germany. 1979

LONDON

Scan10005.JPG

SHEFFIELD, ENGLAND. 1950.

I was born at home in the front bedroom of Hurlfield Drive, Intake, Sheffield, Yorkshire on 8th May 1950 and christened Derek Swift. Dad’s name is Lawrence better known as Lol and he was a Works Engineer for a big steel company. Mum’s name is Pat. Alan is my eldest brother, followed by David and then my sister Kay. I’m the baby of the family. All the boys had bright red hair, which made us stand out in a crowd. Mum and Dad both come from large families so there are hundreds of relatives.

I can remember horse drawn buses, the early double decker trams and gaslights in the street. The scrap man and coal man used to deliver by horse and cart. The smell of bread cooking on the open coal fire and mum always make a special small loaf just for me to eat while it was still hot. On the way to school I would pop into the sweet shop and buy a single Black Jack for a farthing. Family trips were when granddad would hire a charabanc and all the family would gather and be taken to the seaside for the day. Everyone would join in a singsong of all sorts of songs. Dad had a very large black car with runner boards I think it was called a Triumph 1800 one up from the Mayflower. It had huge chrome headlights and it gleamed. Mum said she used to feel like Royalty when she was out in it and Dad being a bit of a joker stuck a union flag on the front. Because it was not that long after the war people would see the flag and think it was Field Martial Montgomery and occasionally salute.

1. Head Injury

The driveway up to the side of the house was quite steep and had a small wall to the right with a long drop to the next-door neighbours’ concrete drive, which was level. Both driveways had a cast iron metal drainage cover. I was about 4 or 5 years old when whilst playing ‘blind man’s bluff’ at the side of the house with my brothers, my sister and lots of other friends I was ‘it’. I was half way down the drive with my eyes closed and arms extended to try and feel one of the others who were dodging me. Every now and then I would cheat and open one eye to see where they were. Unfortunately I didn’t open my eyes often enough because I walked towards the small wall, tripped over it and fell down the drop onto the cast iron drain cover landing headfirst. The right side of my forehead burst open and blood poured everywhere. I don’t remember much but I know I was taken to hospital and had stitches. It took ages for the rain to wash the blood away from the cover and the surrounding concrete. Months later the blood trail could still be followed to our side door.

2. Breaking Glass

At 5 or 6 years old I had a friend who lived next door the Punch Bowl pub that backed onto our garden. In the grounds of the pub was a garage that backed onto my friend’s garden. He was older than me and I followed him when he began to throw stones and smash the windows in the garage. Unknown to us the Landlord of the pub had just bought his first car, new from the show room and had put it in the garage. The police were called and visited while I was asleep in bed. At only being 5 or 6 years old the severity of what I had done never sank in. Dad had a lot of problems over that.

3. The Flooding

We had a paddling pool in the back garden and one day while mum and dad were out a friend from down the road came to play and suggested we fill the pool with the hose pipe so he connected the hose to the single forest tap and turned both the hot and the cold water on full. We went into the garden to watch the pool fill with warm water. We were still in the garden when mum and dad came home to find the ceiling roof billowing down with water that had overflowed and was about to collapse into the lounge. Dad turned off the water and put small knife holes in the roof with pans under the water flow. We came in to see why the water had stopped and Dad went ballistic saying we should have known better because we were old enough to know better. It took ages to get the water out of the roof and I remember carrying pans to the sink for what seemed like forever.

4. Camping.

Dad sold the Triumph and bought a Bedford Dormobile mini bus. He converted it into a camper van and bought an old army 1-ton trailer which was 6 foot long and had two wheels. He converted that into the first camper trailer. The roof would lift into the air and beds would fold out on supports and the sides were a green canvas.

We would be taken all over the country on touring holidays and seeing the sights of England. There were no motorways then so it took longer to get anywhere but there was also not as many vehicles on the roads. We used to travel miles and not see another car. I believe it was this lifestyle and being left to entertain ourselves that gave me an adventurers spirit and willing to try anything once. Alan had joined the Police and used to come home with all sorts of interesting stories. One being that he had chased and stopped a car on his push bike and arrested the occupants for bank robbery. He made the local papers for that.

DARLEY DALE, MATLOCK 1961

Dad changed his job and we moved to a house in, Northwood Lane, Darley Dale, Matlock, Derbyshire. Only 22 miles in distance but worlds apart in dialect and life stile. We moved to a semi bungalow, one story at the front and two at the back as it was on a hill, with a fantastic view across the valley. There were three ways to get to the house. It was half way up a very steep hill off the main A6 trunk road. Having a broad Yorkshire accent and starting at a school with a different curriculum gave me problems with the other kids at school, which led to a few beatings. Having bright red hair did not help. I soon had to learn to defend myself. With the upset of the move, the problems at the new school I failed my 11+ exams, which meant I could not go to Grammar School as the rest of the family had but went to John Turner Secondary Modern school. Here I got a grounding in punishment as the wood work teacher gave me 6 of the best with a cane across the bum which caused bruising for 2 weeks and all because I didn’t hear the dinner bell because I was playing marbles and I was late for lunch.

5. Whipping.

Kay was having a clear out in her bedroom and was throwing out a box, which was divided into 3 compartments dad had given her to use as a jewellery box. She gave it to me to use to keep paints in. Some months later I took the box to bits and found a £5 note so I announced the find to everyone in the house. Dad took the £5 off me. Kay started saying that she had kept the box safe since she was given it over a year ago so dad gave her £3 for a pair of shoes she wanted, he kept the other £2 and I got sod all. That was a lesson in honesty. Dad had never given me pocket money and agreed to give me £1 a week if I helped out around the house. He paid me for a few weeks and the payments lapsed but the jobs didn’t. Three or four months later I still hadn’t had any spending money so one night I waited until everyone was asleep and I crept into my parents bedroom and took £5 from the bedside cabinet. The following day I went off to school as normal but with money in my pocket. I bought a whole box of crisps from the school shop and shared them with my friends. It’s amazing how kids you have never spoken to become your friends when you have money. After school my best friend and I went and bought loads of sweets, which we ate before dinner. After dinner there was a knock on the door and it was my best mates parents complaining that I was not to give their son sweets as he could not eat any dinner and had been ill. Dad asked me where I had got the money from to buy sweets and like a mug I told him. He went ballistic; He took off his belt and whipped me until I couldn’t stand. I thought he would never stop. I screamed and screamed and screamed for him to stop and tried to crawl away as I couldn’t stand. It was mum who eventually stopped him. That was another lesson in honesty.

6. Lumpy Fingers

One summers day Mum was in the kitchen preparing dinner and she asked me to help her by cutting a lettuce from the garden. She gave me a big kitchen knife and off I went. I put the knife to the stem but couldn’t cut it so I took hold of the stem and lifted the knife high in the air and brought it down with some force. The knife went through the stem and into my first finger on my left hand cutting to the bone. Blood went everywhere, on the lettuce and on my clothes. I ran inside and Mum cleaned me up and stuck a plaster on it. We still needed a lettuce so off I went again this time with the knife in my left hand. I took hold it the stem, lifted the knife and down it came cutting through the stem and into the first finger on my right hand cutting to the bone. Duh. I now have a matching lump on my first fingers.

7. IRTA. (Injury Road Traffic Accident)

Dad owned a Hillman Hunter estate car and in Derbyshire between Baslow and Bakewell there is a hill called the 13 bends which is notorious for accidents. We had been to Sheffield to see our Alan who was married to Rita, and Kay’s boyfriend Alan was with us and as he lived in Elton we were going to take him home. It was about midnight with little light from the moon; the trees were in full leaf and overhung the road making it very dark. We had only gone round a few of the bends when Dad dipped his head lights for a car coming towards us as he had seen it’s beam. The next bend was to the right and this car came round the corner like a bat out of hell. It went onto our side of the road and skidded sideways towards us. It suddenly spun as we passed it and hit our car on the back wheel smashing the axle. We spun and flipped over onto the roof and went sliding down the road on the wrong side for what seemed like an eternity, 150 feet. With five of us in the car all in the roof as seat belts hadn’t been invented, there were arms and legs everywhere. Legs, I couldn’t feel my legs and the pains were shooting through my body. I was screaming, I can’t feel my legs.

I don’t know if I was pulled out or if I got out on my own but I was sat at the side of the road with both my legs intact and not even cut. I was probably at the