Disturbing Reality

By Tad Paynter lll

The writings contained within these pages will take you on an eye-opening journey if you will. An open mind is required to explore and understand the deeper meanings represented here. You will experience your surroundings differently after this journey, affecting the way you look at your own life and others in your life, as well as people you do not know entirely. It will change you in some form as some of the materials may answer or even apply to your own struggles. The material within these pages will inspire you. After this journey you are about to embark on, the author asks that the readers take lessons and inspiration from its contents. The authors intent is to provide the ability to see the other side of humanity at its best and sometimes at its worst.

But at the very least, as some call itDisturbing Reality.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Oct 19, 2017
• ISBN: 9781543460353

Book preview

Oceans At Dawn

T he beach is empty, and the sand is bare

I can see my breath in the cold, wintry air

T he darkness gives way to a cold gray dawn

I keep my eyes fixed on the horizon as I yawn

T he salty air is all around

Stirred up only by the waves that crash and pound

I ponder life and the reason I’m here

Why has my life been so bad this year?

I ask this question with a heavy heart

As I prepare a letter before I depart

I am sorry for all this my pen does write

Don’t be sad for me; it’s all right

I tried to be all to each and every one of you

I gave my mind, soul, and heart too

I t wasn’t enough; I know I could tell

May God save my soul from hell

I know that what I’m about to do is a sin

But God knows I can’t go through failing again

I love you all; I will miss you too

I am so sorry, but this is what I must do

P lease, please, don’t cry

For each of us will someday die

W hen you come to the ocean, try to smile

Know in your heart that I have walked my mile

M y torment is over, so please go on

But remember me when you see an ocean dawn.

A Sailor’s Prayer

G od, if I would have lived my life right been honest and true

Then I might not feel so bad for what I’m about to ask you

T he rain hasn’t stopped and the wind still howls

The fear of death has replaced my shipmate’s scowls

I have not called on you to save my life

Instead to bless my wretched soul and to take care of my wife

F or she lives on the cape not far from Nags head

Promise you will be with her when they tell her I’m dead

L ost at sea somewhere in the dark

As the storm we are in now tears this ship apart

L ord, I think about all the great times we’ve missed

I feel so bad but I can’t even remember the last time we kissed

L ord, I know you gave her to me to have and to hold

I know now the chances I’ve missed as I pray to you here from the cold

L ord, give her a man not married to the sea

He must be a good man that will love her as much as me

I now know she waits for my safe return

She doesn’t know I’m about to die as the storm continues to churn

L ord, the water is now up to my chest

My shipmates are still hoping for the best

I ’m not worried or scared and I shall not cry

For in my heart I know we are all destined to die

I just hope, Lord, that your ears have heard this prayer

From a sailor whose soul is lost in your ocean somewhere.

Butterfly

I t was a cool October day when seven-year-old Sara went out to play

She looked up at her mother and said, I checked with Dad, it’s OK

S he walked down the drive and to the street she came

When she heard someone call her name

S he turned to see her dad standing at the door

"I’ll be there in a minute or two

W ait for me at the sandbox, and I’ll soon be there to play with you"

OK, Dad, I really hope you’ll be there soon

S ara smiled; "I’ll be there, Dad, at the sandbox, you’ll see

I promise you won’t have to look for me"

T he park was only two blocks down

It was in a safe part of town

S ara went along with her promise in her mind

Knowing that Dad was not far behind

T here was the sandbox where she loved to play

Her mother used to take her almost every day

S ara had just sat down when she noticed something flying around

It was brightly colored and never touched the ground

A butterfly, Sara said aloud

How beautiful it was against the gray clouds

I t landed close then fluttered away

As Sara watched she forgot about play

I t flew ever closer in the cool autumn wind

Sara reached out to touch it again and again

S he stood to her feet to get a better look

It reminded her of one she had seen in a book

S he chased the butterfly, trying to catch it all the while

It made her feel good and even made her smile

S ara looked as the beautiful butterfly landed

Near a small patch of woods just as she had planned

N ow was her chance to catch and hold this butterfly

She inched ever closer, hands outstretched to make a capture or at best try

S o she knelt on her knees, arms outreached

Then she was startled by a terrible screech

S ara turned to see a horrific sight

There was a car with blinking blue lights

A s tears fell from the little girl’s face

She saw another car upside down in her special space

T he sandbox was gone, where she used to play

Drinking and driving, he could have killed someone, she heard a policeman at her sandbox say

S he cried as she ran home as quickly as she could

Past the neighbor’s house and up to her gate made of wood

D ad ran outside when he heard all the fuss

Where he scooped up his baby girl and said God’s watching over us

H e told her he loved her and held her so tight

Till the time came to kiss her good night

"S ay your prayers then go to bed

I love you, little Sara," Dad said

S he thanked God for everything in her life

Even the beautiful butterfly she had seen take flight

L ittle Sara didn’t notice outside on her windowsill

A bright-colored butterfly sitting quiet and still

M om, I love you, little Sara said, maybe tomorrow we can go out and play

Little Sara paused a moment as she thought she heard her mother say

I love you, my dearest, and have a good night

Then unbeknownst to little Sara, the butterfly took flight

S ara climbed in bed, thinking of her mom and the events of the day

Little Sara was only four when a drunk driver took her mom away.

Rooms Of Wonder

T here is a castle deep in the recesses of my mind

I visit from time to time

T here are rooms of darkness and despair

Others are filled with happiness, joy, and fanfare

D own the corridors and down the halls

Past the interlocking stone and block walls

I find myself on the balcony, looking over

An open courtyard filled with roses and clover

T here, I just stand, admire, and stare

There is so much beauty before me, and I breathe in deep the rose-scented air

I turn to go around the corner into the main hall

This is where I keep my memories, thoughts, and all

T hey are there on display for only me to observe

Away from humanity and the varied kings that they serve

Y es, there is a dungeon as well

This is where all my ghosts and demons are held

T here are rooms of wonder, splendor, and sheen

Works of art that man’s eyes have never seen

T he love that I have stays kept in the tower

Like a prisoner to whom I hold the power

T he walls are high, and the moat is deep

The drawbridge is one that has never been crossed by human feet

T his is my castle and sanity too

No matter how strange or odd it may sound to you

S o if I’m aloof, inattentive, or sometimes not all there

Or if I gaze at you with a dreamlike stare

Y ou will know I’ve gone to the castle in my mind

Seeking calmness and peace, which I’m guaranteed to find

Only at my castle

Revenge Is Not So Sweet

T he gray that ruled the day sky began to buckle and give way to the blackness of the night

The forest floor stirred and bustled with nocturnal life

T rees took on an ominous appearance against the minuscule amount of moonlight

The spirit of the wind, with its invisible soul, made the dried dead leaves that had fallen pick up and take flight

There was the slightest rustle in the leaves that I couldn’t place far or near

The forest went silent as if to better hear

I t may have been a raccoon or possibly a deer

Or it could