Road Map to Happiness: A Life Mentors Life Journey

By Phil C Hardy

This book is a practical, proven life-education guide based on forty years of professional experience as an IT and management consultant and life mentor - working in Europe, Asia, USA and Australia with client staff in expanding their understanding of who they are and how to make the most of their potential, living and working in harmony.

It is for those who are discerning and are interested in understanding how they can add to their existing wisdom and accelerate their evolution into becoming the best they can realistically be.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris AU
• Release date: Apr 10, 2017
• ISBN: 9781524560911

Phil C Hardy

From a dysfunctional and traumatic childhood, he had a succession of mentors who guided him in his life as an International consultant and life mentor. Then when he battled chronic fatigue syndrome, he applied, verified, refined and reapplied his understandings to himself. He is now retired, living in the Perth hills and is currently focused on writing and presenting his follow-up Roadmap to Happiness life education course. The course notes are free to download with follow-on participation to be made available via Skype at his blog site www.roadmaptohappiness.com.au.

Book preview

Copyright © 2017 by Phil C Hardy.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2017902426

ISBN:      Hardcover             978-1-5245-6084-3

                Softcover                978-1-5245-6083-6

                eBook                     978-1-5245-6091-1

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Rev. date: 06/12/2017

Xlibris

1-800-455-039

www.Xlibris.com.au

757595

Contents

Acknowledgements And Dedications.

Chapter 1 INTRODUCTION

SELF-EVIDENT LEARNING and HARMONIOUS LIVING - Explanation

PERSONAL NOTE

Chapter 2 OUR LIFE’S FOUNDATION STONES

HAPPINESS IS?

EXPERIENCES, THOUGHTS, FEELINGS & PERCEPTIONS

RELATIONSHIPS

OUR PERSONAL ATTRIBUTES

EGO and INTUITION

DECISIONS and ACTIONS

CREATIVITY

PROGRESS: Change – Balance – Lessons - Wisdom

NOW IS ALL WE REALLY HAVE

WE ARE THE ULTIMATE ENIGMA

LIFE WISDOM: Emotional Intelligence – Understanding – Life Focus

WISDOM TO GUIDE US AND ENSURE BALANCE

MANKIND’S EVOLUTION

OVERVIEW

BEING SUCCESSFUL

TAKING OURSELVES LIGHTLY

REVIEW

Chapter 3 BACKGROUND

IT AND MANAGEMENT CONSULTING

RELATIONSHIPS WERE THE PRIMARY FOCUS

TOTAL TEAM INVOLVEMENT

RELATIONSHIP DISHARMONY

GOOD VERSUS EVIL – A MISCONCEPTION

PROBLEM GENERATORS

NOT JUST FOR THE WORKPLACE

‘MENTORment’ NOT MANAGEMENT

BECOMING TEAM PLAYERS & VALUED EMPLOYEES

MY WAKE-UP CALL

REVIEW

Chapter 4 THIS GUIDE

YOUR CONTRIBUTION

BE DISCERNING

KEEP IT SIMPLE

AM I TOO YOUNG OR TOO OLD?

FOCUS ON POSITIVE INTENT

HAVING A GO

IT’S ABOUT YOU

REVIEW

Chapter 5 SELF-EVIDENT LEARNING

FORMAL EDUCATION

HOW THE SELF-EVIDENT LEARNING SYSTEM EVOLVED.

NO LIFE SKILL TRAINING

FORCED INTO CHOOSING A CAREER

MENTORS, MENTORS AND MORE MENTORS

MANKIND’S PROGRESS

HOW WE CAN PROGRESS

THE WHEEL OF LIFE

REVIEW

EDUCATION by MENTORS

Chapter 6 EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS

HOW WE PERCEIVE AND REACT TO AN EVENT IN OUR LIVES

CHANGING HOW WE REACT

‘MIND-EGO-BODY’ RELATIONSHIP

HOW WE HANDLE PERCEIVED THREATS

‘MIND–INTUITION’ RELATIONSHIP

‘MIND–EGO-BODY’ AND ‘MIND-INTUITION’ WORKING IN HARMONY

INTUITION AND MEDITATION

MY MEDITATION

INVESTIGATING FURTHER

REVIEW

Chapter 7 EXPERIENCE

THOUGHT

INTENT AND ATTITUDE

FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS

DECISIONS

ACTIONS

REACTION

REACTIONS AND PERSONALITIES

REVIEW

Chapter 8 ATTITUDE / RESPECT / ENTHUSIASM

RESPECT

HANDLING DISRESPECT

BEING GROUCHY

ATTITUDE

OPEN-MINDEDNESS

ENTHUSIASM

REVIEW

Chapter 9 How and WHAT WE ARE

OUR BODIES

Healthy Food

Beware of Food Additives

Drinking Water

The Value of Mint

Seed Sprouts - regenerative food

Growing Fruit and Vegetables in Containers

Recommended Food Book

Summary

Nutrient deficiency in Local Soil

Feldenkrais

General Health

Reiki

Our Own Stem Cells

Living with Nature

OUR MINDS AND INTUITION

Survival is the Top Priority

‘Mind-Ego’

Past Patterns

Life Expansion

REVIEW

Chapter 10 WHO WE ARE

ARTIFICIAL ROLE MODELS

COMMUNITY OR PERSONAL FOCUS

WHY CONFLICT?

MENTORS AND INTUITION

GETTING TO KNOW WHO WE ARE

UNDERSTANDING HOW WE INTERACT

WHAT MOTIVATES US

WISDOM

ACCELERATING OUR UNDERSTANDING & SELF-WISDOM

IMPARTIAL OBSERVATION

ADDICTIONS

HOW WOULD I KNOW?

REVIEW

Chapter 11 OTHER KEY PERSONAL ATTRIBUTES

AWARENESS (CONSCIOUSNESS) AND APPRECIATION

Being v Doing

Our Potential

RECOGNITION

TAKING PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY

TRUTH and INTEGRITY

SELF RELIANCE AND SELF DISCIPLINE

BEING SELFISH

BALANCE, HARMONY, CONTENTMENT AND PERSONAL FREEDOM

REVIEW

Chapter 12 TWO OTHER CONSIDERATIONS

INTUITION v EGO

HANDLING EXPANSION OF OUR MINDS

REVIEW

Chapter 13 SEVEN CRITICAL TIMES IN OUR LIVES

CHILDHOOD

EMBRACING BELONGING AND DISCERNMENT

SEXUAL MATURITY

CHOOSING OUR CAREER

CHOOSING OUR LIFE PARTNER

BECOMING PARENTS

MID LIFE and similar CRISES

SUMMARY

Chapter 14 FOUR KEYS TO HAPPINESS

HOW IMPORTANT AM I?

WHY WE ARE HERE

ATTRACTION and DISCERNMENT

True & Sustainable PEACE & HAPPINESS

Chapter 15 SUMMARY of SELF-EVIDENT LEARNING

BRINGING IT ALL TOGETHER

CSS Attributes Tool

Chapter 16 HARMONIOUS LIVING – Embracing It

THE STARTING POINT

DRIVING A CAR AND DRIVING OUR LIVES

ORANG-UTANS SHOW US THE WAY

A KEY FINDING

MANAGING CHANGE

WE NEED A VISION

FOCUS

MOVING FORWARD – HARMONY IS THE FOCUS

FOLLOW-ON BENEFIT

HELPING OTHERS

A VISION OF OUR FUTURE SELF

Chapter 17 HARMONIOUS LIVING – Doing It

DOING WHAT WORKS FOR YOU

SELF INSPIRATION BY MONITORING OUR PROGRESS

COMMITMENT

SELF-DISCIPLINE

KEEPING IT SIMPLE

DON’T DO IT ALONE

THE APPROACH I USED

THE BEST CHANCE OF SUCCESS

UNDERSTANDING, ACCEPTANCE, COMMITMENT

VISUALISATION

THE IMPORTANT FACTORS

CURRENT MISUNDERSTANDINGS

IMPLEMENTATION - CRITICAL FACTORS

CONFIDENCE

DOING IT!!!

Step one

Step two

Step three

Step four

Step five

Step six

Step seven

Step eight

Step nine

REBUILDING FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS

Chapter 18 WHAT ABOUT NOW

HARMONY AND POSITIVE INTENT AT ALL TIMES

FOCUS on EXPANDING my VIEW of LIFE & VIEW of the WORLD

TRUTH, TRUST and FAITH in MYSELF

OPEN-MINDEDNESS

LIVING FOR NOW and…

VISUALISATION – CREATING MIND PICTURES

PROTECTIVE SHELL

EQUALITY for ALL – SEEING the BEST in EVERYONE

SIGNPOSTS EIGHT to FIFTEEN

MY DAILY ROUTINE

PROFESSIONS RELIANT ON CRITICAL ANALYSIS

Chapter 19 WHAT ABOUT OUR WORKING LIVES?

Chapter 20 BEING SUCCESSFUL

FREMANTLE FOOTBALL CLUB

SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE

Chapter 21 HARMONIOUS LIVING

The END RESULT

Chapter 22 BEING a WORLD CITIZEN

HOW CAN WE POSITIVELY IMPROVE OUR WORLD?

FOR THOSE of US with BUSINESS ACUMEN & DRIVE

Chapter 23 WHAT ABOUT GOD AND RELIGION

MY BAHA’I EXPERIENCE

Chapter 24 SUMMARY

APPENDIX I WISDOMS

THE TEN INDIAN COMMANDMENTS - revised

DESIDERATA

APPENDIX II SPECIFIC TOOLS TO CONSIDER

SWOT-CSF Analysis

CRITICAL SUCCESS FACTORS (CSF)

COMMUNICATION STYLE SYSTEM (CSS)

WORK MOTIVATION INVENTORY (WMI)

THE FAMILY VIRTUES GUIDE

DOWSING – TAPPING INTO OUR INTUITION.

APPENDIX III COMPLETING the QUESTIONNAIRE

EXAMPLE

APPENDIX IV ADDITIONAL SUMMARIES

SEVEN STEPS to leading a QUALITY LIFE

THREE OVERALL TYPES of COMMUNICATION

FIVE SIMPLE STEPS to MINIMISE CONFLICT

SIX KEY POINTS towards Positive CONSULTATION / Formal Discussion

APPENDIX V MEMOS (to us) from CHILDREN and Troubled ADULTS

APPENDIX VI Regular REMINDERS

Being a WORLD CITIZEN

The Power of JOY

The Value of EDUCATION

Our EVOLUTION

Guiding our YOUNG

APPENDIX VII Daily REVIEW - Positive Personal ATTRIBUTES

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS AND DEDICATIONS.

This guide is dedicated to the many wonderful mentors who have inspired my life with their wisdom, guidance and shared experiences. Your love educated this uninformed, rebellious child. You all contributed to what is contained in this guide. It allows me to pass on to others what you so generously gave to me.

After my father died when I was 11, Peter Couchman became my first true mentor (especially positive life values, equality, being yourself, open minded discussion and discernment) at a time I was confused and vulnerable. His wisdom and life example as a mere 17 year old school prefect led to his setting the standard for integrity in current affairs reporting in later life. This guide reflects his central influence on my life.

I wish to also make special mention of the many ‘diggers’ (returned Australian and New Zealand soldiers) who opened my mind to positive living when I was thirteen years of age. It is particularly appropriate that we recently honored the 100 year anniversary of the ANZAC Gallipoli landing – lest we forget their kindness, wisdom and sacrifice.

My granddaughter Kahlira also turns twelve this year. She was born and remains a bundle of positivity with endless inquisitiveness and enthusiasm for life.

This guide was initially written to give her something meaningful throughout her life. Suggestions about making it available to everyone through the internet have made it a longer, more complete task but it remains focused on guiding my grandchildren.

I wish to thank my direct and extended family for their support through the tough times, especially my greatest friend and wife Kathy whose love and understanding has enabled me to focus on becoming the person I wanted to be.

To my constant and loyal companion Karma and all my other animal and bird friends who inspire me every day - may people everywhere learn to treasure the gift you give us by just being in our lives.

Finally, to people everywhere who are taking responsibility for, and positively impacting their own lives and the world generally, may all your aspirations be rewarded with confidence to keep expanding your lives and happiness at all times no matter the circumstances.

The included photos show my favourite meditation spots on our property.

February, 2017

chapter2.jpg

CHAPTER 1

INTRODUCTION

Living on a rural property, I wake up to the sound of kookaburras announcing the sunrise and then the magpies serenading me with their wonderful chortle.

This is a great way to start each day feeling on top of the world.

At other times life interferes with an unpleasant experience that causes an attendant feeling of negativity. We then start to feel under the circumstances.

My working life was about working with organisations to overcome their Under the Circumstances and get back On Top of the World. Given that organisations are really only their personnel; this was then really about getting the individuals working as an effective team – working in harmony.

Then when I contracted chronic fatigue syndrome which laid me low for several years, I had to expand what I’d learned to my own situation and rebuild my life.

So this guide is what (with the help of many mentors, friends, colleagues, client staff, family and doctors) I learned, applied and improved over many years.

Everything written has been experienced, lived and proven to be self-evidently beneficial to my life, and reflects what and who I have been as well as who I am now. However, they are my perceptions - to be balanced against your own.

I believe it is entirely practical and can be of assistance to anyone with an open mind. It’s about getting understanding of important life education and skills (that are rarely taught) so we can live more of our lives On Top of the World instead of Under the Circumstances.

It does not require any faith or previous education on our part. Merely read what is written intuitively and take on board that which has personal applicability.

However, it contains facts that address the most personal subject we know (ourselves) and therefore there will be some issues we feel uncomfortable with. These feelings are positive questions our minds are asking for clarification on - so continue reading on and be discerning about all questions raised. But we need to firstly put aside our egos or this guide will cause upset, not provide another positive view of how to make the most of our lives.

At the end of appropriate chapters, I added a ‘Review’ section. This is an extra for those who wish to make the most of this opportunity – to hopefully assist in their understanding, acceptance and making use of the information in that chapter.

SELF-EVIDENT LEARNING and HARMONIOUS LIVING - Explanation

If there was only one thing in our society I could change, it would be our education system. We spend the 12+ most receptive years of our life being mostly taught subjects that will have little effect on our lives, while learning little about life, what and who we are, and how to gain practical wisdom so we can make ever evolving choices in becoming a positive, happy person - being the best we can be - understanding the limitless opportunities available to us.

This is what self-evident learning is about – being discerning and intuitive in gaining knowledge that gives us our best chance to be the best we can be.

We can then understand how and why we would strive to live harmoniously with everyone, especially ourselves.

This guide explains how vital both of these heading points are - how we can practically and realistically overcome our lack of life education, especially the importance of understanding and fully embracing our intuition.

This book is a LIFE EDUCATION guide focused on each of the following:

• Learning to understand HOW & WHAT WE ARE and how to maintain excellent overall HEALTH.

• Learning to understand and accept WHO WE ARE NOW and our incredible POTENTIAL FUTURE by fully utilising our INTUITION and the wisdom we have learned through our life.

• Understanding and Optimising our Personal ATTRIBUTES, especially ATTITUDE; TRUTH and DISCERNMENT; EQUALITY; RESPECT; UNITY; BALANCE; HARMONY.

• Recognising and Utilising Life’s OPPORTUNITIES.

• Embracing quality RELATIONSHIPS throughout our life.

• Being SUCCESSFUL - making a positive CONTRIBUTION and gaining increased WISDOM every day of our lives.

• Being TRUSTED and LOVED by our family and friends.

• Being a wonderful FAMILY, COMMUNITY and WORLD Citizen.

The OBJECTIVE

PROVIDING KNOWLEDGE that is:

• Proven and meaningful to the reader so they can easily comprehend how it can positively expand their lives

• Presented in a manner that allows them free will to use as they see fit, being mentored not lectured to.

LEADING US TOWARDS BEING THE BEST WE CAN REALISTICALLY BE EACH DAY OF OUR LIVES.

We will then have a wonderful life - respected for being the best we can be - focused on equality, unity and justice.

PERSONAL NOTE

This guide has been proof read by many people from many backgrounds, age ranges and professions. The feedback was largely included in this final document but several points were raised that I feel need responding to.

• How I used ‘you’ and ‘we’ throughout this guide. Because I have travelled this journey myself, I refer to ‘we’ (you and I) mostly because I feel it is our journey together. But when I have something specific for you personally, I then use ‘you’.

• Humility. I was quite concerned when this was raised because I feel one can’t be happy without humility. However, as a consultant I learned that truth must be faced and understood if we are to evolve in life – whether in our jobs or as people. It is therefore a balance between being sensitive to people’s reactions to new information, and stating the facts that need to be understood. I avoid telling anyone what to do – I try to explain in a way that leads to self-evident understanding. The other consideration is that we all respond to writing that is written from the heart, not sanitised information trying to please everyone.

• My ‘judgements’ and ‘harsh criticisms’. I have spent a lot of time reviewing this and would make the following observations. I don’t believe I make judgements because I am in no position to do so. Neither do I set out to criticise because