The Mindfulness Experience

By Keith W Fiveson

"Written with clarity and a passion earned through his own journey, Fiveson's book offers an integrated approach that can help anyone on a journey of self-discovery."

- Allen Salkin, a reporter for The New York Times, Vanity Fair, and Los Angeles Magazine.

"At a time when there are as many distractions as there are growing concerns to divide our attention, disconnect us from our bodies, and separate us from each other and Spirit, The Mindfulness Experience helps bring us back into connection and coherence as elegantly as a singing bowl. "

Dr. Miles Neale, Buddhist Psychotherapist - Author of Gradual Awakening, and Advances in Contemplative Psychotherapy

 

Make your world a better place for yourself and others with eight key strategies designed to integrate mindfulness into your daily routine and help you develop your strength and power in the world.

 

The Mindfulness Experience outlines key strategies from yogi, counselor, and life coach Keith Fiveson to help you maintain health and wellness from the inside-out and the outside-in.

 

Using this guidebook and reference tool you can develop strength and power in your life - and thus find balance in an unbalanced world as you learn:

• What mind and body practices can help, heal and manage stressful situations
• Which exercises can improve your body and mind, increasing your energy, strength, along with improving mental and emotional resilience
• When to use mindfulness exercises to generate inspiration, meaning, and purpose, to find comfort and strength when things get tough
• Which foods and eating, sleeping, and resting habits impact your emotional well-being, body, mind, and cognitive capabilities
• What changes to the colors, sounds, or elements in your environment can improve your life, and relationships
• How to develop healthy intimate relationships with friends and family, using safe boundaries
• How to maintain a balance between your work and your personal life, so you can focus on areas that generate more physical and mental energy

With the specific guidance found in this mindfulness guidebook, along with the quick check-in assessments at the end of each chapter, you will become more energized and empowered as you learn how to live a stress-free life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Keith
• Release date: Sep 4, 2021
• ISBN: 9781737081890

Book preview

Title-Mindfulness-Experience---Title

Reviews for The Mindfulness Experience

Written with clarity and a passion earned through his own journey, Fiveson’s book offers an integrated approach that can help anyone on a journey of self-discovery.

Allen Salkin,

a reporter for The New York Times, Vanity Fair, and Los Angeles Magazine.

In The Mindfulness Experience, executive-life coach and two-time cancer survivor Keith Fiveson delivers a comprehensive guidebook to living a more balanced, sane, and fulfilling life in the face of uncertainty and adversity. Filled with real world insights, quick tips, actions steps, and much needed encouragement, Keith surveys eight key strategies from meditation and exercise, to sleep regulation and relationships, gleaned over his twenty-five years, to help us access the hidden well of wellness deep within us. At a time when there are as many distractions as there are growing concerns to divide our attention, disconnect us from our bodies, and separate us from each other and Spirit, The Mindfulness Experience helps bring us back into connection and coherence as elegantly as a singing bowl.

Dr. Miles Neale,

Contemplative Psychotherapist, Author of Gradual Awakening, and Advances in Contemplative

During this socially crazy, politically turbulent, Pandemic time, The Mindfulness Experience is a much-needed recipe for peace and tranquility. Whether you are stressing under the pressure of the corporate world or trying to manage a family or just feeling something could be better, Keith’s 8 Strategies can be utilized by anyone to help create a mindfulness state physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I highly recommend it as it will improve your mind, body, relationships and outlook on the world.

Dave Shapiro,

COO, Premier BPO

The beauty of this book is that it doesn’t matter where you live, what your religious or spiritual beliefs are, or your economic or social status. The guidance provided herein applies to all human beings striving to live a more complete and fulfilling life.

Zubin Kapadia,

Healthcare Entrepreneur

Keith Fiveson’s highly engaging book The Mindfulness Experience is a must read for anyone striving for balance, beauty, and good health in their lives and with their family and friends. Keith has managed to combine his extensive business and managerial experience with his deep understanding and study of Eastern traditions including becoming a Yogi. As a result, his book is highly readable and provides cogent advice along, as he puts it, the 8 strategies to live life now: Mind, Body, Spirit, Fuel, Recharge, Environment, Relationships, and Aspirations.

Bill Price

Lead co-author of The Best Service is No Service: Liberating Your Customers From Customer Service, Keep Them Happy, and Control Costs (Wiley, 2008), Lead co-author of Your Customer Rules! Delivering the Me2B Experiences That Today’s Customers Demand (Wiley, 2015)

How we seek happiness and fulfillment in life is a universal pursuit. Keith has composed a priceless smorgasbord of options for anyone to construct their ideal path forward. It will appeal to both newbies and experienced people alike with its inviting tone, authentic nature and wonderful combination of lived examples and pragmatic guidance. Highly recommend to anyone facing challenges in life and seeking to make meaningful, positive and lasting changes that will affect themselves, others, and the world around them.

Daniel Sieberg,

Co-founder and Chief Storyteller, GoodTrust

THE MINDFULNESS EXPERIENCE

Eight Strategies to Live Life Now

Copyright © 2021 by Keith Fiveson

All rights reserved, printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

This book is a nonfiction work that draws from life experiences and research to provide the reader with the tools needed to live a healthy, proactive life.

For information contact:

Keith Fiveson

http://www.workmindfulness.com

Special thanks to my brother Adam Fiveson for his help with the book cover design and the title of the book

ISBN: 978-1-7370818-0-7 (Ingram Spark)

ISBN: 978-1-7370818-9-0 (KDP)

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Chapter 1: Mind

Strengthen and Focus

Accessing Energy, Information, and Flow

Mindfulness in the West

Twelve Mindfulness Exercises for Your Mind

Mindful Tips

Chapter 2: Body

Energy and Flexibility

Better Flexibility is a Must

Walking

Gardening

Dancing

Lifting Weights

Staying Fit

Tech Fitness

Motivation and Objectives

Mindful Tips

Chapter 3: Spirit

Growing and Connecting

The Essence of Spirituality

Spiritual Bypassing

Spiritual Maturity

Mother to All Beings

We are not alone

Don’t Quit

Balancing Negativity—Eleven Key Ideas

From the Microcosm to the Macrocosm

Tuning into ourselves

Fifteen Ways to Connect to Our True Nature

Mindful Tips

Chapter 4: Fuel

Eat and Nourish

Enter Inside with a Clean Mind and Body

The benefits of healthy eating

Inflammation: Foundation of Everything

Choosing the Right Foods

The Psychology of Good Food

Five Health Benefits of Plant-Based Diets

Mindful Tips

Chapter 5: Recharge

Sleep and Refresh

The Importance of Relaxation

The Importance of Rest after Physical Exercise

The Best Ways for Mindful Recharging

Nine Mindful Activities to Relax and Recharge

Mindful Tips

Chapter 6: Environment

Physical and Emotional

Open Up to Serenity Meditation

Feng Shui

Feng Shui Remedies

Zen garden

Aromatherapy

Mindful Tips

Chapter 7: Relationships

Love, Friends, and Marriage

Positive Relationships

Intimacy (or Into-Me-See)

Healthy vs. Toxic Relationships

Six key ideas or guidelines for relationships

Five-minute sharing practice

Toxic People

Five Keys to Connecting Mindfully

Mindful Tips

Chapter 8: Aspiration

Learning and Growing

Skillful Means

The Hero’s Journey

The three Cs

Benefits of Inspiration/Aspiration and Self-Improvement

Five mindfulness exercises to inspire

Mindful Tips

Appendix

Eight Strategies Assessment

Reflections

Where To from Here?

Thirty-five mindfulness tips

Media and Resources

Meditation Scripts

Awareness of Breath Meditation

Meditation for Daily Activities

Afterword

About the Author

Acknowledgments

County Claire, Ireland, Ancestry Trip 2019

I have so much gratitude for this life. It is a distinct privilege to have the chance to write this book as well, as my path in life has not been easy, and frankly, I never thought that I would get to be sixty-five years of age. I’ve been through a lot. Yet, my many trials and tribulations have called upon me to seek a more balanced and direct path through the chaos and upheaval. But as my dad would often say, You live and learn, or you don’t live long… I owe a huge deal to all the people who helped me write this book. I relied on the wisdom of the ages and today’s science data for much of the knowledge and insights that I’ve outlined in it. For the past twenty-six years, my wife, Charlotte, has continued to inspire, confound, and challenge me with her love and ability to wake me up. More than anyone, she has called me and challenged me to live a better life, and because of her steadfastness, I have. She is my beloved and my worthy opponent, as she has taught me how to be present in life, challenging me to be the best version of myself. I’d also like to thank my friends and family (my sons, Justin and Michael; our daughter, Scottie; and our seven grandchildren, Gunnar, Damian, Eliza, Robbie, Lily, Allie, and R. J.). I’d especially like to thank my friend, Shawn, who has taught me how to lighten up, laugh, and venture into the wilds, to enjoy nature and all of its wild glory. And as well, I’d like to thank my friend, Fiona, who has given me her spark of Irish wit and limerick, and Arzanne, who inspired me to find my voice. All my friends and family have inspired me throughout my career and personal life with their insights and humor. I am forever grateful for their lights, for offering me hope and challenges, that I might lift myself and rise to new heights. Finally, I would like to thank the Veterans Administration (VA) for the benefits I was awarded because I served my country in the US Army. Also, I received the GI Bill, which helped me to go to college. They provided me with the foundation that I’ve used in this book and throughout my life. For more information, reference the VA Health and Wellness Guidelines link below.¹

Letter to the reader The ideas presented throughout this book came to me before and during the Coronavirus pandemic. COVID has rapidly shifted the world’s perspectives on life to a more conservative moment-by-moment view of life’s preciousness. With millions of people dead, 2020 was not a year when we got what we wanted. It was a year that helped us to appreciate what we have.

Many governments worldwide have mandated facemasks, social distancing, and reduced contact for those deemed at risk. Deaths, job losses, and wild swings in the financial markets have impacted everyone in one form or another. Shaped by COVID, reality has changed for all humans on the planet. Just facing the challenges of everyday life can be maddening. We also had a heatedly contested presidential election in 2020, and it’s an understatement to say that what used to be normal has changed. When the pandemic hit, none of us were ready or sure how long it would last. Shifts happen, and our world has shifted toward a new normal; it is now in need of an alternative way of life. At the time I am writing this, over 600,000 have died in the USA, and those numbers continue to rise. The virus has impacted millions around the world. Over the past year, they have restricted people to stay at home. Preventative measures, remaining six feet apart, washing hands, wearing masks, and staying at home have all become part of the new normal. Thousands of people have died in hospitals, and families have suffered. Unemployment has risen, and thousands of businesses have closed. We need to be more mindful. Mindfulness and a focus on ourselves through our breath have never been more critical. Forced to be indoors, more humans have a more refined appreciation for life. We are becoming sapient human beings, growing in our knowledge and connection to what is around us and the world outside. We are mindful of wearing masks and staying healthy in mind, body, and spirit.

A child wearing a red shirt and tie Description automatically generated with medium confidence

Me at eight years old, a hide and seeker

Who am I, and why am I writing this book? I was raised in Brooklyn, New York City. I had it rough as a kid but still loved to play and ride my bike. We played on the streets and in the local parks. Various games occupied us after school and on the weekends. My favorite game, which I was very skilled at, is called hide-and-seek. I was an expert, knowing how to pick the best spots for hiding in, being quiet, and blending in. I was around eight years old when I learned how to focus on breathing to be quiet and still. Staying perfectly still was a discipline. Combined with breath control, it calmed down any movement, and I thought I was invisible and undetectable. Back then, my hide-and-seek strategy worked, and I won so often that people would give up. The same approach was helpful in my home life as well. My childhood was a bit like living in a war zone. My home was dysfunctional. Mom and Dad were primarily absent from my life. Dad left when I was just a little kid, and Mom drank a lot (she self-medicated with alcohol to ease her pain). I was what we nowadays call a latchkey kid. The only difference was that Mom was home but just not available. Trust was dangerous; hide-and-seek was safer. I was an introvert, submerged my thoughts and feelings, blended in wherever possible, and took an interest in magical things (things believed in but not seen). I took refuge in the solitude of my mind, the popular music of the day, and quiet solitude, often while internally shouting, screaming, and acting out some drama, like being a truant, runaway, or delinquent. It was the ’60s, and my family and my world were a complicated mess—alcohol, drugs, gangs, violence—a dangerous place for me. Alan Watts, Ravi Shankar, Maharishi Yogi, the Beatles’ music, and the philosophy of Eastern meditators helped me find some peace. I found my breath, body, mind, and spiritual things inspiring. I aspired for a better life and was interested in transcendental meditation, astrology, and the cosmos. My teens were what you would call troubled. My dad took custody of me when I was thirteen, and it was difficult to leave my mother. I could not adapt to everyday life and first ran away at fifteen. At seventeen, I was a maladaptive teen; I left the comfort of my dad’s home in Scarsdale, New York, and found myself on the streets of New York City, homeless. I took refuge at the Salvation Army and found a job washing dishes in Mount Airy, Pennsylvania, before moving to Florida and working at the Boca Raton Hotel and Club. There, I met a group of friends and left for a hippie commune in New Hampshire. I met quite a few beautiful people, and I am still friends with them after forty years. After a year and a half of that, I found my way into the US Army—another communal life, but just more disciplined. At twenty years of age, I dedicated myself to the discipline and education I received from life in the army, and I committed myself to the goal of traveling extensively around the world.

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My US Army Photo, 1975

My army experience was a Zen-like existence. I was focused, self-reliant, and learned how to manage my feelings and gain mastery over my perspective by becoming aware of my thoughts and mind. I learned to organize myself, finding structure in the rigorous training I received. This later became the foundation for a successful career in the communications industry. I was recognized as an achiever and received a top-secret clearance for my work with the Ballistic Missile Defense Communications Activity (BMDCA). Initially stationed in the US—New Jersey, Georgia, Arizona—I was also transferred to Germany. I went to college, learned skills, and paved the way for a profession in telecommunications. Eventually, I received a B.S. in communications and an M.Div. in interfaith studies. I did an executive MBA at Fordham University, while I was working at MCI Telecommunications. Over the past thirty years, I have received training and certificates, and I have worked as a yoga teacher, massage therapist, interfaith minister, mindfulness teacher, addiction recovery coach, counselor, and executive coach to high-performing professionals, which is what I do now. I worked for Fortune 50 corporations and even had a consulting firm called I.T. Enabled Services Alliance, Inc., during the outsourcing wave. I ultimately retired from Price Waterhouse Coopers, as a management consultant, in 2016. My career was successful but not without casualties. I had not learned to manage my stress or childhood trauma along the way. I destroyed two marriages, had cancer twice, and suffered from heart issues. Yet, I still found inner inspiration along the way. Through my relationships with my son Justin, my wife of over twenty-six years, my stepchildren Scottie and Mike, and my seven grandchildren, I have found the spirit and aspiration to go forward and continue to try for a better version of myself. I wrote this book when it became clear that some basic principles had worked and helped me over the years. It’s not a perfect world, but we can make it better.

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1 https://www.va.gov/WHOLEHEALTH/docs/10-773_PHI_May2020.pdf

Introduction

You are the expert on your own life, values, goals, and priorities. No one will argue with your commitment if you are committed. You are the only one who can know and understand what matters to you. Self-knowledge will help you to live a more mindful and balanced approach to your health and wellness. The eight strategies in this book will help you create an inside-out and outside-in balance that is perfect for your health and wellness. The self-assessment, mindfulness scripts, and links are designed to show how much more of life’s colors we can see when we open our eyes to the world around us. Being fully aware of your experiences, paying attention to what is happening at the moment, and enhancing it with your awareness is the key to health and wellness. Often, we go through daily life on autopilot, not fully aware of the present. We dwell on the past, plan the future, and get hijacked from paying attention to what is essential at the moment, happening right now. Your body and mind regularly send signals. But if your attention is elsewhere, you don’t notice the little things, and what began as a small signal becomes a loud warning. When you miss the small signal of an early discomfort, a hurt, or a sad feeling, you miss opportunities to make changes before they turn into full-blown pains or anxiety disorders. Being mindful or aware allows you to make conscious, proactive choices about every aspect of your