The Millennial’S Dilemma

By Bob Hampton

Millennials are at a historic crossroads, cynical, checked out, and disengaged. Yet they are confident communicators, opinionated, technologically savvy, and driven. They will be the next generation of national and global leaders. How will they lead, and whom will they learn from? Whether leading within the family or in their careers, what defines their social and moral compass? This narrative takes us on a three-generational journey of history, perspective, and point of view, hopefully providing encouragement and hope to a searching generation.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jun 21, 2017
• ISBN: 9781512789850

Bob Hampton

Bob Hampton has been a distinguished public school educator having spanned a career of over 34 years from classroom teacher to school superintendent. His schools have ranked as some of the top academically performing in the nation. He was an early contributor to the charter school movement in California, appointed by then State Superintendent of Public Instruction, Delaine Easton, to her state charter school advisory board, appointed to California’s Little Hoover Commission on charter schools and was a consultant for the California Charter School Association, the nation’s largest voice for charter advocacy. He has also been actively engaged with his local church for over forty years.

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Copyright © 2017 Bob Hampton.

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ISBN: 978-1-5127-8986-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-8987-4 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-8985-0 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017908608

WestBow Press rev. date: 06/14/2017

Contents

Dedication

Prologue

The Church

The History

It’s The Economy, Stupid

Mass Media

Entertainment

Education

Afterward

DEDICATION

I would like to dedicate this to my kids, the Millennials, Erin, Zeke, and Jedd and to the next generation (Lev and Schaeffer) for bridging the gap!

PROLOGUE

L ife has a funny way of happening. So many roads traveled—and yet to travel. As one who has a tendency to overanalyze that journey, and having sadly passing down that particular genetic code to my kids, it’s hard to ignore when stuff happens. Presently, finding myself at the crossroads of stuff, the obvious path I’ve chosen is self-reflection with a healthy dose of self-analysis. Guess I don’t mind being on the couch, so long as my wife doesn’t see me on it every day when she comes home—and of course, I can give up the remote upon request. Guess that could be considered the couch test: can you let go of the control mechanism after a period of self-possession and viewing? As with all things in life, balance is helpful.

Stuff has a tendency to happen in the Hampton Household. So much for effective parental modeling and possibly too much woulda, shoulda, coulda reflections on outcomes lived. As my children were the product of divorce during transitional times in their lives—8, 10, and 13 years old respectively—and because we had been actively involved with a non-denominational Protestant church when this occurred suddenly and without expectation, stuff happened. Metaphorical Scarlet Letters transitioned from parent to child, both within the community itself and within the church. At the time, I was a long-established local educator in a small Northern California community where the school district had two comprehensive high schools separating Northside kids from Southside kids. As one might expect, pretty much everyone knew one another, which added to the scarlet hue of unexpected whispers and labels being placed upon children of a church-divorce and, yes, being raised on the Southside.

That geographical line was also clearly drawn between church youth groups, friendships, and general community activities. Comparisons were ongoing and stereotypes became defined. The exceptions to this generalization for the church kids came during winter and summer church camps, where it was all about the love. Then, geographical lines were erased as North and South sides came together on neutral territory with a mutual focus. This generally lasted for roughly seven to ten days.

Having my children raised in church throughout their entire adolescence brought great joy on my life’s journey, knowing that foundational elements of eternal hope and destiny, grace, mercy, and knowledge of unconditional love were embedded into their values and beliefs—core values that they have taken personal ownership of to this day.

Church is a microcosm of life, as it should be. It consists of dysfunctional, hurting people; fellowship; hope; and joy for all things experienced, pretty much like any American family. The church is literally a hospital for humanity, a service for all without exceptions and exclusions, a place of healing and empowering that releases healthy and productive contributors back into society like a fresh stream of running water in a stagnant polluted river. It provides a universal component for our spiritual and social fabric, defining mores, cultural beliefs, values, and service that showcases a defining institution throughout time and history.

With the occasional exception of mission field trips to socioeconomically disadvantaged and culturally opposite environments, my children grew up having a Western civilization’s church worldview. Through the conditioned eyes of adolescence and young adulthood, leavened with attempts by Dad to broaden their communal and historical perspectives, they pretty much framed a very typical middle class life-view that can be defined through this paradigm. They’ve always heard the subtle scripted message that they can be generational game changers. My children are stereotypical of many growing up within the Millennial church who are now transitioning into parenthood, families, careers, and futures. They’re living in what some would say is a much more complicated and complex world than we once knew, where definitions and expectations are vastly different from the world in which both parents and grandparents grew up. Communication being lacking from generation to generation, the contemporary perspective is lost in history untaught or unshared.

Today, as a broad generalization, communication has evolved into an art form of symbols, slashes, and hashtags. Sound bites framed in quips, witty reportage, and vitriolic railroading conversation runs you over with volume and sheer force of will. Today’s communication doesn’t provide opportunities for complete sentences or shared thoughts, doesn’t value passive listening with respectful dialog, and prevents one from the conversation and responding accordingly. Yes, this is my generation’s modeling to the Millennial. In contrast, like many from my generation, our parents—and our fathers, in particular—offered limited communication and reflective conversation. No blame projected, as we all possess personal and historical family issues. But here is the hope: for all the Millennial jokes, and self-entitlement commentary, they are the future and can genuinely be the gap-fillers between generations. They possess amazing communication skills, confidence, capacity, creativity, and are determined problem solvers.

I’ve witnessed this first-hand as a parent in a home that provided a venue for many Millennial couch conversations centered on life, relationships, romance, and futures. Now some of these young adults have become parents and are looking at life’s journey with an anticipation of what’s still to come. From the days of living room dialog, some of their roads have been filled with peril and unforeseen sadness and confusion… and premature death. Some are still seeking answers to questions asked in times gone by; some are living the life their parents did, with jobs, kids, church, and family. Some are following a path or journey as yet undefined. For yet others, the cake-ride has continued, at least from the outside looking in—they’re living large with big houses, big bank accounts, and a big world to tame. I offer no judgment and nothing but best wishes for all, as life is generally defined by the legacies we leave: good, bad, or ugly. Material possessions break, burn, or erode; memories do not, though they’re sometimes embellished.

It was an honor listening to those sitting on my couches or along on car rides. Many know who you are. As my kids were very social, they allowed me to join them in sharing life with their friends and the roads and journeys that they have taken.

From dad to career educator, to this day I’m still in contact with many of my students who are already at mid-life. Thank you for the privilege of sharing deep and rich conversations, providing me perspective. To the Millennials whom I have hired over the years, challenging them to be the best educators and difference makers they can be, thank you for that opportunity. Seeing firsthand your talent and motivation (or lack thereof) while completing the observational cycle of my life and providing the informal survey experience for this endeavor is much valued and appreciated.

Most of all, thank you for the extremely unique conversations and relationship I have with my kids, communicators, and beyond who have invited me into their lives, sharing their deepest thoughts, joys, fears, and concerns. I’m not quite sure the sons- and daughters-in-law knew what they were in for when becoming part of this family of over-sharers. You’ll never know how much that has meant.

As I’m living at a crossroads of my incomplete and complicated life, I think about the many who have far greater and much more significant life challenges, questioning the historical wisdom of my actions and deeds, being filled with shortcomings and failures, hoping to embrace contribution by sharing the journeys taken and roads yet to be traveled. In doing so, I humbly embrace the words of the Preacher, "In addition to being a wise man, the Preacher also taught the people knowledge, and he pondered, searched and arranged many sayings" (Ecc 12:9). Not that I consider myself wise. Age simply provides lots of lessons taught.

Yet the purpose of my self-indulgence and reflective self-analysis, taking pen to paper—actually, fingers to keys—in my imperfect attempt to bring reflection, critical thought, and a glimpse of historical knowledge into a generation of Millennials is the hope that I will provide inspiration, direction, and purpose to bridge and fill the generational and historical gap. This goal is shared by that same Preacher, in a quote that seems to have defined my life: Because in much wisdom there is much grief, and increasing knowledge results in increasing pain (Ecc1: 18). As an orderly serving in a metaphorical hospital, maybe I can attempt to increase some knowledge and reduce some pain! Wish someone had done that for me.

Finally, as the Preacher tells us, there is nothing new under the sun. Every emotion, relationship, experience, heartache and heartbreak, joy, happiness, and any stimulus therein has been shared throughout history. Means and methodologies may change, but outcomes are pretty much the same. We are not alone in our journey of life, as others have traveled those very same paths and experienced those very same emotions, temptations, fears, failures, frustrations, and hopes. The dilemma a Millennial faces when looking into the mirror during those dark moments of questioning and self-doubt, past and present, is if those mirrored moments can be translated into understanding and purpose. That purpose can be found not only within their roles and contributions to family and to a society whose values are shifting and contrary to many of the beliefs they were raised with, but also into wanting immediate answers to the whys. Raised as a generation of problem solvers and survivors, told that every stimulus has a response, that nature is relative and is all about how you define it—it’s no wonder that for Millennials, this perplexing and unresolved equation causes an unsettling emotion. But the same questions, albeit with different deliveries, have been asked throughout the centuries, according to the Preacher. Most whys are never defined—some might call that faith—and discourse, or conversation, is its building blocks.

Every point in history has identified a unique generational element or group that become difference makers, critical in shifting the paradigm. Millennials have that opportunity now, as