Raised by the System: No Where to Run

By Wayne Ruth

A touching story of a young man looking for love and knowledge at the same time looking for role models and teachers with which to emulate his life, but only found life lessons to grow with. This young mans life is embroiled with love, hate, betrayal, and jealousy having been in and out of jail.This book willtook you back to the days when times was hard,so the only place you could turn to was the streets,to only find out there is no love there.You will find yourself deep into the story to the point where you may feel that the story is all about you.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Mar 19, 2016
• ISBN: 9781514475744

Wayne Ruth

Timothy had to grow up before his time and adapt to life fast, with no real role models in his life. He had to be his own teacher. He learned the way of life by bumping his head to get wiser. His mom died from liver failure. His dad was around but not a role model. All that Timothy wanted was love, just like any ordinary child. But there was no love at home so it led him to the streets, and that's where life went wrong for him. He started going to jail at the age of twelve and didn’t stop till he was twenty-five. He had his first child, a girl, at twenty-four followed by three boys out of an eleven-year failed relationship. He always listened to older people that on the block,in life period timothy absorb game all around. He was a child that seeked knowledge,timothy was the only child and all he wanted was love but only got hurt from people he trusted.

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© 2016 by Wayne Ruth.

Library of Congress Control Number:           2016904421

ISBN:                Hardcover                                      978-1-5144-7577-5

                         Softcover                                      978-1-5144-7576-8

                         eBook                                             978-1-5144-7574-4

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 04/08/2016

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P eople always asked Timothy how can he take care of three little boys, not worrying if their mom Monica is gonna come back in their lives? Not saying he wasn’t worried- he’s just doing his job. He wakes them up for school like a parent is supposed to do. He cooks their food because they say,Dad, I’m hungry, get them dressed they reply and say, Thanks Dad. Timothy replies, You’re welcome. Not once asking for a pat on the back- he’s just doing his job. When his kids get sick and they run to him, Dad, my throat hurts. Timothy replies as quickly as he can and gives them medicine to make them feel better not because he had to- he’s just doing his job. As a man, people say Timothy shouldn’t cook but he does for his kids. He does a lot for his kids not because he has to, but because he’s just doing his job. When his boys get sad, Timothy feels the pain too. He asks what’s wrong to his oldest of nine-year-old Bryan. He replies, I miss Mom. Timothy feels sympathy and tells him, Things will get better, gives him a hug, then gives him a little man-to-man talk not because Timothy had to- just doing his job. It’s not easy being a single dad of three boys, their mom not being around to show her motherly love to her children that she carried for nine months at a time. So Timothy did hurt too for the feelings of his sons. Being strong and fighting for them not because he had to- he’s just doing his job. One early morning his son came to him, Timothy asked, What’s wrong? Earl replied, I had a dream, Dad. Timothy then asked, What was it about? Earl said, Fishes. Timothy then laughed; Earl did as well. Timothy said, Son, it is very important to remember your dreams in life. God have sent a vision to you. Some may be pleasant dreams, others may frighten you but whatever the case, son, try to understand them. Timothy explained to him because he should. He’s just doing his job. As a dad, he wouldn’t feel right not taking care of his son, so he does the best he can.

Don’t ask for handouts because no one would help anyway. Timothy just kept his head up and kept passing knowledge through him to his kids- he’s just doing his job. These days, in the black community, there are no good role models for the young kids. So Timothy, being a bright educated man, teaches those who listen and love to seek knowledge and more understanding in life. He does it because it makes him feel good as a black man; not because he has to- he’s just doing his job. The world is set up on right and wrong, so as people we have the choice to make a decision to uplift our lives and embrace it to make a better future or do the devil’s work. Timothy tells you this not because he has to- he’s just doing his job. It’s very important for him as a dad to do the things he does for them. Make sure they get exercise and regular healthy eating habits. Timothy does this because he should, not because he has to; he’s just doing his job. Days go by and he wonders if he is doing the right things for his little people. Sometimes Timothy has a crazy little conscious that kicks in and he starts feeling some type of way about his fatherly duties. He questions himself if it is wrong that their mother Monica is not around and he’s left to do the whole job on his own? But he knows he must be strong- he’s just doing his job. It’s very important for Timothy to teach his kids the right things in life because he knows the next man that’s not their father won’t love them the way he does nor will they guide them right and show them how to live an upright life. Timothy’s just doing his job. When it gets hard on him, Timothy just swallows his pride and gets to work for his kids. He does so many things for them because he loves seeing them smile and being happy. As long as they earn it, they get it, not because he wants to spoil them, no, it’s because he’s just doing his job. Timothy truly understands now how single moms do their jobs and what they go through. It’s not easy for the men that’s out there thinking it is; well, it’s not. There’s a lot that goes on with the emotion of a child to cater to them. He’s just doing his job. The other day Timothy saw a young man pushing his daughter in a stroller. The look on his face wasn’t pleasant. Timothy said to himself, why is he not smiling? It’s a wonderful thing what he’s doing. He pushed like there was no one in the stroller. Us men need to stand up and be a role model for our kids and not just be dads, but be more than just dads. Timothy’s dad wasn’t in his life like that so in Timothy’s conscience, he knew he had to stand up and be a role model for his own kids when he did have some. It’s enough kids grow up without love, no guidance, no sense of hope. As a dad, he made big sacrifices to do better for his kids. Timothy had this gambling habit, goes into casinos with $2500 and walks out with nothing. Now you say that’s not bad, taking the chance to win big or to lose when he just knows in his soul it’s his turn. That’s all what runs through his mind: his kids need shit. But in all means he’s in denial, saying to himself if you’re not putting in the effort. Timothy was feeling trapped with nowhere to go. He was his own enemy. He asks God to help him come out of his situations, become a better person, free himself from the stress, the hate, the pain he puts himself through. Some men would rather buy that blunt or spend their last on a bag of weed, knowing kids need things, just like plants need water. Other males don’t take time out to know their kids; they just buy them jays toss their baby momma some change, but they think they’re doing their jobs. Kids are not getting any education. Everything you do will come back to you; you choose what’s best for you. Timothy started praying, asking the Lord for help and understanding, hoping things will change is all he asks; and what do you know, a call from a store he filled out an application with calls him saying, You have an interview tomorrow. Come before 7:00 a.m.

Timothy’s heart jumps for joy as relief came of knowing he can provide for his kids again. He thanked God several times, when people he knew said prayers don’t come true. Excited and cannot sleep, he tossed and turned like there’s no tomorrow. Finally he goes into a deep sleep waiting for tomorrow to come. He woke up at 6:00 a.m., jumped out of bed to wake his kids, and get them ready for school. It’s not an easy task but it has to get done. Anxious for the interview, he rushed out the door to take his kids to school. On his way he prayed again to the Lord to bring joy in his life. Three wonderful kids he has to provide for. He has four but his daughter Honest is not in his life due to a misunderstanding. Coco, Honest’s mother, is full of drama so Timothy just stayed away. She has threatened him to put him in jail, and Timothy knows jail is not an option for him. It will not do any good for him and his kids, so he take the necessary need to stay away so he doesn’t end up there. Several times she tried to land him there, then his daughter would be out his life for good.

End of 2014 now, still no call back from the job interview he had, so he kept his head up and continued to pray. His rent was due; he receives a three-day notice. Now he fights to maintain his way of life. Focus is the key. He has a gambling problem. Timothy pawns his gold chains, thinking he’s making a good move, only to make another fucked up choice. He runs to the casino, money burning his pocket. He sits there for an hour or so, win some and lose some; gave the casino $2000. In the end, he walked out broke, head down, asking himself why must he make choices like he does. God gotta be on his side. He walks to his car and pray. Damn near to the point of breaking down into tears, he took a deep breath and smiles, telling himself it will be all right. He gets in his car, starts it, and hits the gas to the point of zero to a hundred, flying down the streets of Los Angeles, making more fucked-up choices. Finally he makes it home.

One month later, he starts packing up his stuff as well as his kids’ belongings, ready for a new life. His kids sit there and asked, Dad, where are we moving? He replied to them, Far, far away. Timothy and his kids ended up in Palmdale. Now that they are settled, his kids’ life start to look a little brighter. He and his three kids, Bryan, Earl, and Michael, they like their new place: two baths and two bedrooms, a fireplace, balcony—the whole nine. They are checked into school, one of the best in the Valley. His kids are aged nine, five, and three.

His five-year-old has been through a lot growing up. Hit by a car at the age of two, so the problems he had in school could not be so much his fault, can’t hold him accountable for his actions. Some of them, yes, because he knows right from wrong. He goes to school misbehaving in ways he shouldn’t. Not having control of his ways, but as a single dad all he wants is the best for his kids.

Patience is the key, and love. He prays to God that life will change for him and his kids. Giving up isn’t the answer. Just recently at school, his son tried to tackle his teacher so he was suspended for two days. How in the world can this be, that a five-year-old can be so rough and careless, not so much careless because Timothy was aware of Earl wanting to be a football player. He was a solid little guy and strong. He was doing pushups at the age of three. With the move to Palmdale, it seemed things will be great and sweet for them, living in a packed apartment building with over one hundred units. His aunt Debbie and Dad happily staying in an apartment around the corner from him. Timothy loves and respects his family but his family wasn’t really there for him unless he was passing out money. Now he’s not in that state of mind anymore; he’s cheap, he’s selfish, he’s broke. It’s very strange how people he thought loved him and done things out of the kindness of their hearts were there for him, when in reality they only wanted what he had: money. It’s strange how money can change a person and turn them against you, the root of all evil. He remained humble throughout all the bullshit people tried to put him through.

One day in December 2014, Timothy and his kids arrived home to notice that the gas was off in his apartment. He didn’t know how to react to the situation; at that time, he became very