Unbogus: Living the Authentic Life

By Dr. Betty Minus-Murrell

Who you see is who I am, and what you see is what you get! How many of us can say these words and mean it? Too many people hide behind masks of pretense, whether it is socially, emotionally, spiritually, or physically simply to gain the approval or acceptance of others. One of the greatest challenges many people face today, especially Christians, is trying to live an authentic (unbogus) life in a world full of fake (bogus) people. Thus, this book is a real eye-opener on the subject of bogusness versus unbogusness. The author gives valuable insight into how to avoid living a bogus life and how to pursue an unbogus life. Having your outer man match your inner man is the goal of this book. This powerfully written book will also challenge you to rise above your unbogus behavior and find true contentment, peace, and self-worth. Finally, this book will give you a game plan to cast out areas of unbogusness in your life that have kept you from living your best life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Dec 22, 2015
• ISBN: 9781504969765

Dr. Betty Minus-Murrell

Dr. Betty F. Minus-Murrell is a retired teacher and public school administrator. She is a member of Undenominational Pentecostal Holiness Church of James City, New Bern, North Carolina, where she serves faithfully in several ministries. She is the mother of two sons and has five grandchildren. Dr. Minus-Murrell’s first book, Pain Your Platform to Power, has blessed many people. Dr. Minus-Murrell is a much-sought-after anointed woman of God, lecturer, workshop presenter, worship leader, motivational and conference speaker. She presently resides in New Bern, North Carolina, with her husband. As with her first book, her motto is still “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:13). Contact Dr. Betty F. Minus-Murrell at [e-mail]

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© 2015 Dr. Betty F. Minus-Murrell. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 02/22/2016

ISBN: 978-1-5049-6975-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5049-6977-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5049-6976-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015921054

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and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

All scriptural references and quotations are taken from the King James Version (KJV) of the Holy Bible, unless otherwise indicated.

Other translations used were New Living Translation Bible (NLT), Full Life Study Bible, Life Application Bible, Amplified Bible (AB), McArthur Study Bible.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189 USA. All rights reserved.

Contents

Preface

Introduction

1 The Birthing of Bogusness

2 The Relationship of Sin to Bogusness

3 The Relationship of Unbogusness to Spiritual Maturity

4 Who's Fooling Whom?

5 Stop Believing the Lie

6 Stop Living the Lie

7 Will the Real You Stand Up and Stand Out?

8 Now That I Know What I Know

9 Unbogus Power

10 Unbogusness Brings Certainty of Deliverance

11 Unbogus: Living above Your Failures

12 Rely on the Treasure within You

13 Unbogus Love

14 Unbogus Love: Part 2

15 Unbogus: Living without Pride

16 Unbogus: Living above Jealousy

17 Unbogus: Living above Resentment

18 Unbogus Worship and Praise

References

I dedicate this book to my beloved husband, Johnny, who was my greatest supporter and encourager during the many months, days, and hours I spent working on this project. Johnny, I want you to know that I appreciate you, and I thank God for the beautiful gift He gave me when He gave me you.

To my two accomplished sons, Dr. Daryl Minus and Dr. Eric Minus; to their wives, Monica and Cheryl; and to my grands, Adia, Daryl Jr., Mason, Mia, and Loren. To my late husband, Dr. Tony Minus, the father of my children, for his love for family, his strength, his perseverance, and his godly character.

To my loving mother, Dr. Aquila Capers, who has always been there for me as an example of a godly woman who understands the value of hard work and sacrifice. Mom, I am the woman I am today because of you, and I thank you for my godly upbringing.

To my former church family, Bible Way Temple, in Washington, DC, with whom we shared many years of loving, powerful worship and fellowship. You will always be a part of me. To my present church family, Undenominational Pentecostal Holiness Church, James City, North Carolina, thank you for accepting me as you sister in Christ. I am enjoying the fellowship.

Lastly, I dedicate this book to everyone who desires to live an authentic (unbogus) life, to be comfortable in his or her own skin, to be accepted for who he or she is, and to live authentically before God, others, and him- or herself. This should be the goal for all people, but especially for believers, for it is what we need to do in order to live the unbogus life.

Preface

In my first book, Pain: Your Platform to Power, I discuss how the pains and sufferings of life molded and shaped me to become the strong, vibrant, and confident woman I am today. I have been the recipient of different kinds of pain: pain that came from my own disobedience and rebellion, pain that came from my own bad decisions and choices, and pain that comes in life from the testing which God allows. However, now that I have learned and grown from those experiences, this knowledge has become so valuable to me that I need to share it with you. I have learned how to live an unbogus life, the authentic life. Now I am what you see!

From the political world, to the corporate world, to the religious arena, to the family, and throughout all of society, everyone has been in disguise at one time or another, when faced with certain situations, circumstances, or people. We all (at one time or another) have put on masks to shield our real selves, depending on how we would like others to see and evaluate us. The word bogus simply means fake or counterfeit; one that is not genuine or authentic; one who is out to deceive another; one who is a phony and a sham. Thus, the words bogus and unbogus stuck in my mind. Unbogus is a word I coined to mean authentic, genuine, and free of pretense. Countless examples of people living bogus lives are seen via the news media, in the entertainment circle, on social media, in government, politics, and churches, in families, and in friendships. There have been times in my own life that I have been bogus in certain situations and with certain people. And I thank God for deliverance!

First, an unbogus life is one in which you live a life of authenticity, committed to godly and biblical principles. It is being true to God, yourself, and others. In other words, there is a consistency between your words, your thoughts, and your behavior. People have always tried to fix others, when in actuality they do not have the power to do so. Unbogus people have nothing to hide and nothing to fear; their outsides match their insides. They are who you really believe they are. They are living an authentic life because they are comfortable in their own skin, and people accept them for who they are.

Second, an unbogus life is one in which you know your flaws as well as your assets, and you appropriately deal with both. You see, in living the unbogus life, your focus is not on your spouse, your siblings, your coworkers, your friends, your pastor, or anyone else; rather, your focus is on you. Let God deal with others, but you put the focus on authenticating yourself and living a life pleasing to Him. When we seek to follow Christ by living according to his Word, it will unbogus us. (Throughout this book, you'll notice that I use unbogus as both an adjective and a verb; the adverbial form is unbogusly; the noun form is unbogusness; the opposite forms of each are bogus, bogusly, and bogusness, respectively.)

Third, the unbogus life is not only a life lived with authenticity but also with integrity and transparency, with nothing to hide or fear, because you have an intimate relationship with God.

Fourth, an unbogus person knows that God loves him or her unconditionally, no matter how he or she looks, dresses, or talks, and no matter what kind of family he or she comes from. God extends unconditional love to everyone, regardless of titles, positions, or material possessions accumulated. That is good news!

Thus, the premise of this book is that no one, no matter how spiritual, can avoid situations that daily demand decisions between what we want to do, what we ought to do, and what we ultimately do.

The Bible declares, I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me (Romans 7:21). And also states, For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son, in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh: that the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the spirit (Romans 8:2--4). Whether you are in times of adversity or prosperity, alone or in a crowd, an unbogus life fosters a spirit of integrity and contentment within you, and produces the fruit of the Spirit, love, joy, peace goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, kindness, patience and self-control(Galatians 5:22--23). Living an unbogus life allows us to predetermine what we will be---regardless of circumstances, relationships, or the places of our testing---because of who God says we are.

Possessing authenticity not only allows you to live in truth and freedom, it also determines whether you will be a happy or a miserable person. This is no lie! Too many of us are living bogus lives and are not who we claim to be, based on the way we behave, the way we dress, the houses we live in, the cars we drive, the friends we hang with, the titles and economic positions we have achieved, and those we try to imitate. People see these external things, these accomplishments, these outside trappings, but somewhere, hidden deep inside you is the real, authentic you. How many of us are living an authentic life, where what you see is what you really get? How many of us are living a life true to ourselves, true to our values, and true to our God? How many of us need to unbogus ourselves, and stop living the lie? Too many of us cannot find happiness, contentment, peace of mind, or true love, much less realize our self-worth, because we are living a lie, rather than the truth. In other words, we are living bogus lives, deceiving ourselves, but not necessarily deceiving others!

It is now time-out for soft Christian rhetoric, which compromises godly standards. You know as well as I do that it is hard to tell a Christian from an unsaved person in this day and time. Even many believers have lost their spiritual authenticity. As people of the kingdom, we must sound the alarm that we are living in the last days and our Lord will soon return to take his bride, the church, away to live with Him. Thus, our lifestyle must not be bogus, counterfeit, fake, false, or inaccurate in any way; instead it must be in-your-face authenticity. The Bible tells us, Blow the trumpet in Zion sound the alarm on my holy hill, let all who live in the land tremble for the day of the Lord is coming, it is close at hand (Joel 2:1, Full Life Study Bible). Thus, we had better be who we say we are! In Christendom, there are too many phonies, even in our churches. These persons look good from a distance, but upon close examination, they are spiritually ugly and fruitless. They consider themselves Christians, they know the Christian lingo, they can talk like Christians, they know Scripture, they can preach, sing, teach, testify, and shout like real Christians, but they are bogus. In other words, they can talk the talk but cannot walk the walk.

As with my first book, this second labor of love, Unbogus: Living the Authentic Life, is again divinely inspired and written for all of you who desire the authenticity of your life to shine through you as a way to motivate others to live a life of integrity, contentment, and freedom. You see, one of the great challenges many people face today is trying to live an authentic life in a world full of fake people, and also to live a productive life while bearing the injuries and pain that life inflicts. Thus, people retreat into a safe place within themselves to protect their emotions, their reputations, and their public image. However, at the same time, they wreak havoc on their physical well-being, and hinder their emotional and spiritual growth. Many people struggle daily with being authentic, hiding behind the facade of success, education, positions, and titles. These same people privately struggle with issues of their past and present, living in the isolation of their thoughts and emotions. When someone appears to live an authentic life, but is actually isolated from reality, authenticity, and truth, he or she is living a lie.

Finally, this book unlocks the truth behind the importance of living an unbogus life in order to live a powerful, spirit-filled, authentic life that empowers you to live in this present world with joy, peace, and contentment, and in harmony with your fellow man. Now make yourself comfortable, with your Bible near, and take a ride with me on this powerful, anointed, exciting journey of peeling off the bogus you, and allowing the authentic you to shine through brightly. This will create a you that I guarantee you will love, and a you with whom God will be pleased.

Introduction

Many of us have heard the phrase hidden in plain sight. I am associating this phrase with those of us who are hiding behind a mask of pretense, whether it is spiritual, emotional, or physical. Outwardly, we appear to be successful, happy, at peace, contented, confident, and in control of our lives; but inwardly, none of these virtues are in working order. Instead, we are living bogus lives. The goal of bogus people is to hide the true self from others, and to make others believe they are different from who they really are. God forbid, if others knew the real you---the one who feels incompetent, resentful, of little worth, afraid, lonely, insecure, and unloved---because no one would like the real you. Therefore, you convey the outward persona you desire people to see, in order to accomplish your mission at being a successful person. However, if we are not careful, the masks we create for ourselves will begin to dominate all areas of our lives and our relationships. Just like the Pharisees in Jesus' day, whom He called hypocrites, we will also go through our lives pretending to be something we are not. In fact, Jesus called them whitewashed tombs, which on the outside appear beautiful, but on the inside they were full of dead men's bones and all uncleanness (Matthew 23:27). Back then, tombs were regularly whitewashed to make them stand out, and accidentally touching or stepping on a grave caused ceremonial uncleanness (Numbers 19:16). A freshly whitewashed tomb would be brilliantly white and clean looking on the outside, but the inside of the tomb was filled with defilement and decay. You see, the Pharisees were experts at creating and sustaining masks of respectability to impress the public. They postured in their self-righteous actions, in attitude, dress, habits, and behavior, throughout their daily lives. Since they wanted to be esteemed by people, this outward show was the part they wanted people to see. Nevertheless, their external behavior did not match their internal evil and prideful thoughts. They were bogus! Fakes!

Likewise, if we are not careful, we will also carry our bogus behavior before God, even though He knows every intent of our hearts. Is it stupid, or what, to go into the presence of the Lord with pretense in our hearts regarding our motives and secret thoughts? God is truth, and if He is truth, we must come to Him in truth; otherwise, He will not hear us. The Bible declares, God desires truth in the inward parts and in the hidden parts he will make us know wisdom (Psalm 51:6). If God knows the inward part of us, why would we not come before him bare, laid open, and free from any deception, so that He could heal and restore us? Pretense in the presence of God will hinder Him from answering our prayers, and hinder us from receiving our healing and deliverance. It is impossible to experience true freedom and authenticity without true confession and true repentance. Hiding evil and negative thinking in our hearts is not only toxic to the physical body, it is also toxic to our spiritual growth and development.

The last few years have brought many examples of famous people who put forth the persona of a certain kind of an individual, but then, when their true characters were revealed to the public, they did not match their reputations. Their reputations (their outward behaviors) branded them as good ministers, loving and faithful spouses, and persons of integrity. However, their behaviors, attitudes, and words eventually revealed their true selves, which had been hidden from the public's view. One was a renowned pastor of a megachurch who has been accused of being involved in a sex scandal with teenage boys. I was greatly disturbed by these allegations, because this preacher appeared to be a holy man, a man who held to high godly standards, and who had great influence in the body of Christ. In fact, I made it my business to watch his televised service every Sunday night. When the pictures and allegations surfaced, I was greatly saddened and disappointed. Now let me be quick to say the minister denied these allegations, but even to hear of these allegations brought shame on the church.

The news also reported that this minister lured several young men into sexual relations by using his position and lavishing them with gifts. In response, the minister claimed that he was a mentor to the young men and took them on trips, but he denied that any sexual activity took place. However, it has now been disclosed that this preacher has settled with his accusers, out of court and for an undisclosed amount. While dealing with this issue, another issue concerning this ministry was brought into the public eye. This same church was also being investigated by the US Secret Service regarding a questionable mortgage venture that caused many of the church members to lose their homes. The account alleged that the pastor of this megachurch allowed a mortgage company to hold seminars in his church, promising his members lower homeowners' payments. Each week, the company would collect thousands of dollars from the church members, promising to lower their mortgage payments. Instead, many of the homeowners lost their homes in foreclosure. Again, although this pastor has not been charged with this misconduct, his church was investigated. The consequences of these allegations led to his marriage becoming jeopardized, his megaministry being fractured and torn apart, and his taking a leave of absence from the ministry to deal with the situation and its repercussions. It's like my mom always says: Where there's smoke, there's fire. Thus, the questions remain. How could such negative information ever even surface regarding a true minister of God? But saddest of all are the consequences and the losses this church incurred, and the hurt, pain, and embarrassment this congregation has suffered as result of these public allegations. Was this pastor living a bogus life?

In a Washington Post February 2010 article, Thomas Boswell revealed information about Tiger Woods, regarding the crashing of his car and rumors involving his association with prostitutes. Everyone was shocked by this news because Tiger had seemed like the perfect father and husband. The so-called authentic image of Tiger went out the window, and the real Tiger (bogus in the extreme) came on the scene. He did not deny the allegations, but he did come forth to apologize to his wife, children, and fans for his indiscretions. It seemed that the world saw an unrepentant man who was sorry that he was caught, but not sorry for the wrong he had done to his family. Boswell summed it up this way: A real tiger was somewhere within his remarks. For fourteen years in pro golf, Woods has presented himself as a symbol of integrity its very life's blood. Yet, he said---conscious of every word---it's time for me to start living a life of integrity." Start? What had he been so far, then, a fraud?

In his public apology before millions of eyes, the great golfer Tiger Woods stood alone in a thirteen-and-a-half-minute statement carried live by major televisions networks and cable channels. Woods apologized for his marital infidelity, stating:

I was unfaithful. I had affairs. I cheated. What I did was unacceptable; I have a lot to atone for. I felt I had worked hard my entire life and deserved to enjoy all the temptations around me. I felt I was entitled. Thanks to money and fame, I didn't have to go far to find them. As Elin (his wife) pointed out to me, my real apology will not come in the form of words, it will come from my behavior over time. But these are issues between a husband and wife.

It is also an issue between him and his God!

Eugene Robinson, a Pulitzer Prize winner and an associate editor of the Washington Post, wrote an article that appeared in Ebony magazine, in March 2010. In this article, entitled The Deconstruction of Tiger Woods, Mr. Robinson states:

In 2007 and 2008 Woods played golf with a leg injury that he kept secret for ten months at the 2008 U.S. Open. He also suffered two stress fractures of his lift tibia. Though he grimaced with pain with almost every shot, he gave no hint of the extent of his injuries and nobody had a clue he was beating the best in the world on one leg. He didn't want his opponents to see the slightest hint of weakness because one of his most potent weapons has always been an intimidating aura of invincibility.

So why should we be surprised that Tiger Woods was able to keep so many secrets regarding his private life? Here is a man who had it all---wealth, fame, a beautiful family, and a pristine public image---but lived a life of philandering, cheating, and lying, leading to one of the biggest sex scandal of all times. In other words, Tiger Woods was living a lie, a bogus life. What was the cost? He lost his family and his self-respect; he lost millions of dollars in endorsements as a result of the public shame he incurred; and, more importantly, he lost his good name.

However, God will forgive all sins committed by anyone who repents. Living a lie, a bogus life, will lead to our downfall. How many times have we pretended to have it all together, have everything under control, but the waves of insecurity, failure, disappointment, loneliness, resentment, envy, poor self-esteem, and other toxic emotions were just about to suck us under? Why do people live bogus lives? People live bogus lives for many reasons, but the main ones are to be accepted, to feel validated, to have a sense of belonging, to appear successful, or to hold onto power.

You see, human beings, without an intimate relationship with our Creator, long for worldly friendships, relationships, success, reputations, fame, fortune, power, and validation, and sometimes we find these things in all the wrong places. Yes, validation seeks approval that we are better than, or as valuable as, the next person. This brings to mind the story I relate in my first book, in the chapter God Has Your Set Time. I was in my junior year of college, sitting in the library, when some students entered, dressed very well. I then looked at what I was wearing: a little faded skirt and blouse, an overly washed sweater, and turned-over loafers. I felt so ashamed, inadequate, and insignificant. This happened before I really understood that validation and self-worth do not reside in the kind of clothes we wear. Because of these feelings of shame and inadequacy, I made a bad decision: I planned to quit college and get a job, wishing never again to look and feel so inferior.

I closed my book and went home, with tears in my eyes, and told my mom that my college days were over. I felt ashamed, embarrassed, and of little worth. It really hurts to feel that you are not as good as someone else is. Nevertheless, my mom listened calmly and then advised me that I would be making a big mistake to drop out of college. Wisely observing that I was in no mood for reasoning, she left me alone for the rest of the evening. I set about looking in the want ads for a job. I believe that my mom prayed for wisdom that night, asking how to deal with her child. When you bring God into every situation, He honors that. That is the beginning of all wisdom in itself. The Bible declares, If anyone lacks wisdom, let him ask of God that giveth all men liberally and unbraideth not; and it shall be given him (James 1:5).

The next morning, Mom fixed my breakfast and began talking. She brought to my remembrance how I had complained about working in the pickle factory for the last two summers after high school. Mom had worked there for two years herself. How could I forget the dungeon? It was hard labor from 8:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., with two ten-minute breaks at 10:00 a.m. and 2:00 p.m., and a half hour for lunch. We worked in a cold, damp, concrete building in the winter and a hot, damp building in the summer, with no air conditioning. We stuffed hard cucumbers into different size jars, weighing them to the appropriate weights, until our fingers were sore and stiff. The jars were then sent down a conveyor to be filled with the pickle juice. This juice was a mixture of vinegar and other ingredients that would cling to your hair, clothes, and skin. It seemed that I always smelled like pickles. If you did not meet your daily work quota, it could result in your being fired. The people who worked there were a sorry lot. Most of them had not even finished high school and could not look forward to a brighter future. There was no union, sick