Destroy the Destroyer: How to Deal with Bitterness and Enjoy Your Freedom

By Charles Ofori Akrofi

The world is waiting for the manifestation of the children of God for their salvation. Bitterness is one of the ways by which the devil makes sure that this manifestation does not happen. God is love and so should his children be.

Have you ever done something for somebody and expected a thank you and there was absolute silence? What about a false accusation? Were you abused as a child or are you still being abused, betrayed or rejected? Have you ever been a victim of rape? Dismissed from your job unjustifiably or undermined at the work place? How does it feel when it is a wife, a husband or a loved one? It hurts even the more. If you are hurting as a result of being bitter or you want to help someone Destroy the Destroyer will assist you.

"Destroy the Destroyer" will take you through some of the causes of bitterness with examples from the bible, its deadly effects on the individuals and how some of them dealt with it and how you can also deal with it. You will also find real interesting stories of people who lived in bitterness and how it affected their lives. Learn how to prevent bitterness from taking root in your life and free yourself from the prison of anger?

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Apr 26, 2017
• ISBN: 9781512778731

Charles Ofori Akrofi

Rev. Charles Ofori Akrofi is the Senior Youth Pastor of Charismatic Evangelistic Ministry, with headquarters in Accra, Ghana. Through his counselling of young people and sometimes their parents, he has been able to help many deal with the evil of bitterness in their lives. Through his ministry many young people have come to know and accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour. He is married and lives in Accra with his wife Grace and their son Joel.

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ISBN: 978-1-5127-7874-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-7875-5 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-7873-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017906478

WestBow Press rev. date: 04/26/2017

Amplified® Bible (AMP), Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission." (www.Lockman.org)

The Authorized King James Version (AV), Rights in the Authorized Version in the United Kingdom are vested in the Crown. Reproduced by permission of the Crown’s patentee, Cambridge University Press.

Good News Translation® (GNT), Today’s English Version, Second Edition, Copyright © 1992 American Bible Society. All rights reserved. Used by permission.

The Living Bible® (TLB), copyright © 1971 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

New International Version® (NIV) Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

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New Living Translation (NLT), copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.DEDICATION

To my wonderful wife, Grace, and our son, Joel.

Thanks for your immense understanding, support, and encouragement.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I thank God so much for this book and all the lessons He taught me in the course of writing.

I thank the following people for their suggestions and encouragement after reading through the manuscript: John Akrofi, my nephew; Eric Addae-Sakyi, Enyonam Kpoh.

Contents

Foreword

Introduction

Chapter 1 Definitions

Part 1 Causes Of Bitterness

Chapter 2 Hurts And Offenses

Chapter 3 Sufferings And Trials

Chapter 4 Hateful And Evil Thoughts

Chapter 5 Murmuring And Complaining

Chapter 6 The Fetters Of Slavery

Chapter 7 The Proud Heart

Chapter 8 The Self-Justification Hazard

Chapter 9 The Poverty Menace

Chapter 10 Frustration

Chapter 11 Ridicule, Rejection, And Deterioration

Chapter 12 Jealousy And The Envy Canker

Part 2 Effects Of Bitterness

Chapter 13 Eighteen Killer Effects Of Bitterness

Part 3 Solutions

Chapter 14 How To Avoid Being Bitter

Chapter 15 How To Deal With Bitterness

Part 4 Conclusions

Chapter 16 Blessings Of Forgiveness

Chapter 17 Conclusion

Chapter 18 A Cry For Help!

References

FOREWORD

The writer has used many practical experiences and biblical examples to identify the causes and roots of bitterness, which he aptly describes as a Destroyer, which one hosts in a cage of his heart. He alludes to the fact that when not dealt with, that cage will open, by which time the explosiveness of this destroyer could kill the one who hosted it as well as others around him. Indeed, many do not realize that bitterness is so easy to harbour and to feed, till it becomes so explosive and cause damage to oneself and those around him. He also gives practical solutions in dealing with this killer as dealing with a canker. The writer, therefore, has done a good work in identifying the many avenues through which this killer is bred in an individual as well as suggested how through prayer and the extensive use of the Scriptures one could deal with bitterness and its associated causes.

Throughout the many decades I have pastored a large congregation in Ghana, with international branches, I have come across many wonderful relationships that have been destroyed due to the connected silent killers of anger, unforgiveness, pride, and bitterness. Through counselling and teaching of the Word of God, as well as through the ministrations of prayer, many have been healed. However, often times many emotional and physical scars have been left behind once these destroyers were left to breed for too long. If only many will be quick to realize the evil harvest of bitterness, they will be quick to nip it in the bud as soon as they realize it is developing in their relationships. I, therefore, believe anyone reading this book will be greatly helped, not only because the one could be harbouring bitterness, but because the writer provides insights that are also useful in advising ourselves and in counselling others to avoid this silent destroyer. May the Holy Spirit help us all to learn to walk in love and forgiveness, rather than harbour bitterness in our lives.

Rev. Steve Mensah

General Overseer,

Charismatic Evangelistic Ministry.

Accra, Ghana.

INTRODUCTION

You cannot be imprisoned without a cause, and the cause can be true or false. Bitterness is like a prison where you are kept for holding on to your anger for too long, no matter the cause. Bitterness is an imprisonment of the body, soul, and spirit, which I will explain in due course. It is also like a cancer, which eats up the host, according to American poet Maya Angelou, and eventually kills it: Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.¹

Cancer does not kill in a day. It takes time. And let me emphasize, it is a destroyer as well. Bitterness is also like a bit in the mouth of a horse. It is a small object, but it controls the very life of the horse that wears it. So does bitterness in the life of a bitter person. It is therefore not to be entertained by any person. Many people find themselves in the prison of bitterness, and when salvation does not come their way, the result is destruction or death, spiritual and physical. Bitterness is a spirit and may look calm in its prison cage—the cage of bitter emotion—but when let out without any restraint, it becomes a destroyer if not a killer. It’s like a story I read of a Siberian tiger that escaped from a zoo some years back and mauled two young men without any provocation. The Bible says in Jeremiah 4:7: A lion has come out of his lair; a destroyer of nations has set out (NIV). When bitter emotion is let out of its den without any control, it becomes a killer like a real lion.

When you see a lion coming out of its den, you don’t wait to see what it is looking for before you do something to protect yourself. Bitterness is like a lion that the devil has released out of its den. It is looking for someone to devour. It must not be you. The story of Absalom in the Bible, who killed his brother, Amnon, is a classic example of the caged beast let out without restraint. It was calm for a season, but when the opportunity came for it to get out, the results were disastrous. Absalom was in the prison of bitterness for two solid years, unable to free himself until the killer in him came out to finish its work. You need to free yourself if you notice that you are a bitter person or becoming a bitter person. However, you cannot free yourself if you don’t know what is happening to you, how it is happening, its effects, and how to avoid it in the first place. This is what this book is all about.

If the world could be free of bitterness and bitter people, I don’t think it would be the way it is today. Many people in society today are bitter for various reasons, and this is destroying many marriages, families, relationships, organizations, and society in general. If you are in the prison of bitterness, you don’t have to serve your full term before being released. You can have a presidential pardon—God’s pardon—if only you will ask. In my country, Ghana in West Africa, every year the president grants amnesty to certain prisoners. In effect, they do not serve their full term. They receive pardon. You also need to take advantage of God’s pardon and get out of your bitter imprisonment so that you can reorganize and go on to enjoy your life.

How do you feel when you taste a bitter pill or medicine? When we were children, the only effective drug available against malaria was chloroquine, given in tablets or by injection. Because the tablets were very, very bitter, some of us preferred the injection even though we were afraid of needles. Bitterness is bitter in the sense that it never makes you happy just as the chloroquine tablets never made us smile. Bitterness is a lifestyle that is lived in a bitter atmosphere or condition infested with acrimony and hatred, sealed and polished with pretence. In this pretentious atmosphere, silence shouts louder than words.

I have come across one or two people whose lives have been completely ruined as a result of harbouring bitterness and never letting it go. There was a young man who never forgave his father for abandoning his family at a time when they needed him most. His bitterness even made him hate himself as a man, because sometimes he felt he was like his father. What you go through in life in itself does not make you bitter; rather, it is said that your response is what creates the root of bitterness, the ultimate destroyer or killer of your life. The world is never a place free of pain. Jesus never promised a trouble-free life for his followers. He did not have life easy himself. His opponents were always at their possible best. You must also know that there are disappointments in life. It is not always the way you want it.

This is why I am writing this book—to expose what effects bitterness can have on a person, and how to avoid being destroyed by this destroyer, or how to deal with it if you have this bug called bitterness in your life. Many people are being destroyed by this phenomenon and yet are unable or deliberately refuse to do anything about it. It has really become a bit in their lives, like the bit in the horse’s mouth. If you find yourself in this state, apart from applying the recommended actions in this book, it will also be helpful if you seek help from above until you are free. Let God into the situation. Let him into your prison camp, for the Bible says, he came to set the captives free. He will set you free, for if the son shall set you free, you shall be free indeed. Don’t be an anger nurse. Be a love minder. If you don’t nurse anger you will never be bitter. To nurse is to take care of a person who is sick or injured to ensure that the person does not die or deteriorate. If you refuse to passionately take care of your anger, and to feed it with hatred and resentment, it will not survive, and bitterness will not be able to grow out of it. It will surely die.

The sun shines on and affects both the believer and unbeliever. So does bitterness. How should you as a Christian deal with bitterness to differentiate yourself as a believer from those who don’t believe?

It is my prayer that by the time you finish reading this book and applying the recommended solutions, the bit of bitterness will be removed from your mouth so that God can lift you up where you belong, which is not in the prison of the destroyer and killer. I also pray that you will receive your unemployment benefits since you will no longer be an anger nurse. As a Christian, you have an advantage: Christ in you! Don’t kill your happiness! You have to destroy the destroyer before it destroys you. Remove the bit, break the chains of bitterness, and set yourself free.

Stay blessed! Invictus!

Rev. Charles Akrofi

CHAPTER 1

Definitions

The word bitter is defined as a strong, sharp, or pungent taste that is not pleasant. It can also be something that is emotionally painful or difficult to deal with. Bitterness is retaining the effect of hurts and being resentful toward those who perpetrated whatever hurt you. Bitterness therefore expresses something unpleasant that is difficult to accept and may be met with intense hostility. It is basically the result of unforgiveness. Bitterness is anger that has been allowed to fester or ferment; it is anger that has been watered and nurtured to grow for some time—or, I dare say, for a long time. It is anger that is welcomed to stay beyond what could be called the acceptable time limit, thereby going sour and harbouring hatred, jealousy, and resentment. It is a bad emotional habit that is acquired with the continuous practice of unforgiveness over a long period. There is a Ghanaian adage that says, When water stays in a pot for a long time, it stinks. So does anger. Bitterness is also resentment infused and saturated with grudges, which results in what Hebrews 12:15 calls the root of bitterness dangerously heading toward enmity with God.

The Bible talks of the root of bitterness in Hebrews 12:15, which I want us to explore a bit:

See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

Look after each other so that not one of you will fail to find God’s best blessings. Watch out that no bitterness takes root among you, for as it springs up it causes deep trouble, hurting many in their spiritual lives. (TLB)

Bitterness has the capacity to take deep root in a person’s life. And when it does, it causes deep trouble and can hurt people in their spiritual lives, as the Living Bible (TLB) states. A root is the part of a plant that grows in the ground and draws up water and nutrients to feed the plant. It also holds the plant in place, and in some cases, the roots store food for future use. When bitterness takes root, it grows into the soul and feeds the body and spirit with venom from its storehouse in order to keep it in place without shaking or giving up.

When something takes root in a life or a place, it tends to become dominant and take control of that life, situation, or environment. This is the reason I talk about bitterness as a bit in the life of a person who is overcome