Your Choice of a Life Partner

By Alexander O. Sign

The book will expose you to the biblical guidelines and procedures guiding a Christians choice of a life partner and how to be certain that God is actually leading and guiding in your choice of a life partner. It will enable you to know the right qualities to look in the lives of your several suitors and how to prepare yourself for marriage.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Jun 6, 2014
• ISBN: 9781496978899

Alexander O. Sign

Rev. Alexander O. Sign is the president of Global Gospel Network Ministry (The Commonwealth), Effurun, Delta State, Nigeria. He holds degrees from Jos ECWA Theological Seminary, University of Jos and Evangel Theological Seminary, all in Jos, Plateau State, Nigeria. He is a pastor, teacher, speaker, Bible expositor and a seasoned marriage and family consultant. He is married and blessed with two children.

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© 2014 Alexander O. Sign. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 05/29/2014

ISBN: 978-1-4969-7880-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4969-7889-9 (e)

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Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. Copyright © 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of International Bible Society.

Scripture references marked ASB are taken from American Standard Bible. Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. All rights reserved. Used by permission.

Scripture references marked HCSB are taken from the Holman Christian Standard Bible. Copyright © 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission.

Scripture references marked KJV are taken from the King James Version. Copyright © 1994 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. All rights reserved. Used by permission.

Scripture references marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible. Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture references marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture references marked NLT are taken from the New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture references marked RSV are taken from the Revised Standard Version. Copyright © 1946, 1952, 1971 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the USA. Used by permission.

Scripture references marked GNB are taken from the Good News Bible. Copyright © 1992 by American Bible Society. Used by Permission.

Scripture references marked MSG are taken from The Message. Copyright © by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

CONTENTS

Acknowledgements

Introduction

1

Biblical Principles Guiding A Christian’s Choice Of A Life Partner

2

Biblical Procedures Guiding A Christian’s Choice Of A Life Partner

3

How To Be Certain As A Christian That God Is The One Leading And Guiding In Your Choice Of A Life Partner

4

The Female’s Choice Of A Life Partner I

5

The Female’s Choice Of A Life Partner II

6

On The Woman’s Part I—Qualities A Woman In Search Of A Husband Should Possess

7

On The Woman’s Part II—How To Capture Your Husband To Be

8

The Choice Of Your Career And Marriage

9

The Choice Of Your Church Fellowship And Marriage

10

Preparation For Marriage

To

Hesed Oghenetega Sign

My Lovely Daughter

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

The writing of this book was initiated by challenge to address the issue of a close family member who was engaged to marry someone whom his parents felt was not a born again child of God. The burden to speak to him over this issue prompted the writing of the first three chapters. These chapters were written as a single chapter to him. The contents were so challenging and enlightening that I initially decided to make it an appendix to my book on marriage. The desire to make it a book of its own came to me one morning as I was in the bathroom. My thoughts were moved to the contents of the first three chapters and I discovered that there was a strong need for me to address the same issue from the female perspective so as to strike a balance. The desire to effect this balance resulted in the expansion of this work into a complete book in its present form.

I am grateful to the family of Elder Christopher Oraekwugha and his wife Mrs. Theresa Oraekwugha whom God used in bringing about the contents of the first three chapters. Your appreciation of the contents of the first three chapters and encouragement has made this book a reality. Elder Christopher Oraekwugha’s words of encouragement inspired the birth of this book. I am grateful to you. May the good Lord continue to fill you with greater words of inspiration. My special appreciation goes to their children, Mr. Chike Oraekwugha, Mr. Chukwudi Oraekwugha, Mr. Chukwunoso Oraekwugha, Mr. Tobechukwu Oraekwugha and the others.

I also want to appreciate my brothers, Mr. Kingsley E. Orereh, Mr. Bernard O. Orereh and Mr. Kenneth Bramor for their support and encouragement. They have stood with me in this ministry of writing. Their supports both in cash and kind have greatly motivated and encouraged me. I am proud of you guys. And may the good Lord grant us greater opportunities to be continuous blessings to one another. I love you all and God bless you all.

My gratitude also goes to Pastor Rosemary Achioyamen, Deaconess Gladys Enawore and her husband Mr. Francis Enawore, Mr. Timi Orodoh, Pastor (Mrs.) Blessing Olofu, Miss. Ofeoritse A. Ejueyitsi, Evang. Ighoruemu Agofure, Pastor Willy Uyo for their support and strong confidence in my writings. Your confidence and supports have been my strong inspiration. I love you all and God bless you all.

My appreciation also goes to all the staff of AuthorHouse Publishing Company for their understanding and excellent work in the publication of my books. I thank the Lord for bringing us together. My special thanks to Maria Hamilton. Her strong confidence in my writings is incomparable and heartwarming. Thanks a million for your words of encouragement and inspiration. You are a divine gift to me. I appreciate and esteem you greatly. God bless you.

My greatest gratitude goes to my wife, Pastor (Mrs.) Treasure M. R. Sign and our children, Miss Hesed O. Sign and Master Jedidiah O. Sign for their unequalled support and encouragements. God bless you.

All appreciation, gratitude and thanks to God almighty for his grace and divine illumination to write and be a blessing to many in his body. I lack enough words to express my gratitude. Kindly accept the humble gratitude of your servant whom you have endowed with potentials to bring your truths to many.

Rev. Alexander Otovwe Sign

Effurun, Delta State, Nigeria

May, 2014.

INTRODUCTION

Life is all about the choices we make both as individuals and as families. Our lifestyle and wherever we are today in life is a product of the choices we have made in life. As humans, God has given us the freedom to choose. This freedom to choose is what we call choice. This word choice resounds with so much freedom, power and pride that we sometimes forget the enormous responsibility and burden it places on us as humans. Choice grants us as humans the freedom and power to choose between virtually everything we so like and dislike. But what this freedom and power doesn’t tell us is that, though we can make the choices, but we cannot determine the outcomes of our choices. God, in His infinite wisdom, has put the determination of the outcomes of every person’s choices beyond his/her abilities and control. Yes, you can choose, but you can’t determine the outcome of your choice. The outcomes of our every choice as humans are naturally determined by God in every aspect of our lives, whether it be physical or spiritual or both. The pride of choice can blind a person and cause him/her to live as if all of life depends on just one’s ability to make such choices in life. Such pride can deaden a person’s heart and mind to the dreadful truth that, if we have been blessed with the ability to choose, but not with the ability to determine the outcomes of our choices, what is there to brag of? If I can choose what I think I want without determining what comes of my choice, am I not left in suspense and puzzle? Is my supposed claim that I know what I’m doing not false? What is so deceitful in life like such half truth? Who can brag of having the answer or solution to a puzzle that he/she knows only half of how the puzzle can be completed? Can you really boast of knowing the road to a place if you only know half the way? Can you embark on a trip if the information you have can only lead you half way? Won’t you be exposing yourself to laughter, ridicule and danger if you dare such a trip? In one of his teachings, Jesus cautions us against such a venture when he declares: For which of you, wanting to build a tower, doesn’t first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, after he has laid the foundation and cannot finish it, all the onlookers will begin to make fun of him, saying, ‘This man started to build and wasn’t able to finish’ (Luke 14:28-30 HCSB).

The freedom, power and pride of choice is nothing else than paralysis in the face of humans’ inabilities to determine the outcomes of their choices. It takes only fools to glory in such venture. But every wise man knows the limits of our abilities to choose as humans. Apart from our human’s inabilities to determine the outcomes of our choices, every critical student of the Bible and life knows that there are certain crucial decisions of life where we need both guidance and direction. In the Scripture, wherever God has confronted us with the choice of such crucial decisions, He has never left us without His divine guidance and direction. For instance, in the Old Testament, when God set before the children of Israel the choice between life and death, blessings and curses, He admonished: "See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live (Deuteronomy 30:15,19 emphasis mine). Likewise in the New Testament, when Jesus set before us the choice between life and death, he also provided guidance and direction when he commands us: Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it" (Matthew 7:13-14 emphasis mine).

Why will the all knowing God still choose to give guidance and direction to mankind, even after He has bestowed on us the freedom and power of choice? The answer is not far fetched. The Scripture provides us the answer when it declares through Prophet Jeremiah that, I know, O LORD, that a man’s life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps (Jeremiah 10:23). It takes only individuals who know and understand this truth to seek guidance and direction from God in their daily choices. We can only receive guidance and direction from God when we recognize and acknowledge these two truths. First, such a person must recognize and acknowledge that his/her supposedly acclaimed life is not his/hers. The Scripture declares that, I know, O LORD, that a man’s life is not his own (Jeremiah 10:23a). Those, who never seek God and wait on Him for guidance and direction, but rather make the decisions for themselves, openly declare that they own their lives. Is it then any surprise when we hear some who, when pressed to the wall, exclaim: This is my life. I can do whatever I want with it! It takes only two kinds of persons to utter such statements: fools and frustrated people. The second truth is the recognition and acknowledgement that God never designed man to either plan his own life or direct his own life. The Scripture affirms this when it declares that, No one is able to plan his own course (Jeremiah 10:23b NLT) or it is not for man to direct his steps (Jeremiah 10:23b). This recognition and acknowledgement springs from the first truth. This is because only He who owns man’s life can either plan his course or direct man’s steps. Consequently, our freedom and power of choice only points us to our dependence on God for ultimate guidance and direction in life.

Let me stress at this junction that not every decision of ours as humans carries equal significance in life. Some choices and decisions are more important than others. For instance, the choices and decisions of which God to serve, of who to marry, of which career to pursue in life and of where to work and stay are some of the most critical decisions in every human’s life. Any mistake and compromise in any of these areas could be both earthly and eternally detrimental and fatal. There can be no overemphasis in stressing that these are some of the critical areas where we need God’s guidance and direction most. In this book, my focus is on your choice of a life partner. Another name for your life partner is your spouse. But the term life partner denotes more than a spouse. As the term indicates, a life partner is simply a man or a woman with whom a person is in partnership for life. This partnership is best described as marriage—a covenant relationship between a man and a woman designed to last throughout their lifetime, and only to be dissolved by the death of either partners. If a business partnership, that involves only monetary transactions and that can be dissolved, calls for carefulness, discretion and vigilance, how much carefulness, discretion and vigilance do you think a life partnership calls for? And may I quickly add, how much dependence on God for guidance and direction do you think life partnership calls for, especially when we know that the heart of all humans by nature is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? (Jeremiah 17:9 KJV). How eager must we be in our dependence on God, if we truly recognize and acknowledge that only the Lord can truly search the heart and examine the mind