Family Matters: Carers and Children Tell Their Stories

By Mohammed Lahrichi and Isidro Ramos Cabello

Foster caring is as challenging as it is rewarding. There is a school of thought that if one is interested in fostering, then one can become a foster carer. Considering the many problems that surface on a day-to-day basis in a given fostering environment, it takes much more that interest in fostering to make fostering work. Family Matters frankly discusses what fostering entails and clearly demonstrates how Mohammed and Sharon Lahrichi have had a reasonable degree of success in their fostering work. It documents cases that tell how foster children as well as biological children interpret their lived experiences as children of the same household. It is a book that foster carers, social workers and all those who involve in care work should read. In fact, it will make an interesting read for all members of any given family. Family Matters also advances the idea that fostering is a work of love, which should be taken seriously, but which also should be celebrated in spite of the range of emotions that foster caring is capable of evoking.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Feb 24, 2014
• ISBN: 9781491892817

Mohammed Lahrichi

Mohammed Lahrichi has been in the foster-caring field for more than ten years. His work with The Adolescent and Children’s Trust (TACT) and Parents for Children (PfC) over the years, together with his loving concern for children’s wellbeing, have adequately prepared and equipped him to foster-care in a masterful way. Mohammed continues to volunteer and participate in a variety of community activities. Sharon Lahrichi has gained foster caring experience from working with two organisations - TACT and Parents for Children (PfC). Her support-worker experiences with private companies and charitable organisations such as Leonard Cheshire and Jays Agency, have certainly complemented her foster-caring career. Dr Gertrude Shotte continues to show an engaging interest in fostering and foster carers’ matters. She is especially interested in the ‘Staying Put’ initiative that Local Authorities introduced in England in February 2014. Linked to this, is the Department for Education (DfE) statutory guidance, which provides added context for further research work in the fostering field.

Book preview

Mohammed Lahrichi, Sharon Lahrichi, Gertrude Shotte. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Cover Illustration by: Isidro Ramos Cabello

Published by AuthorHouse 02/17/2014

ISBN: 978-1-4918-9280-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4918-9281-7 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

Acknowledgement

Foreword

Abbreviations And Acronyms

Chapter 1   Introduction And Framework

Chapter 2   A Brief Look At Fostering

Chapter 3   Carers Who Care

Chapter 4   Caring And Nurturing: Some Case Studies

Chapter 5   The Value Of Training

Chapter 6   ‘From The Horses’ Mouths’

Chapter 7   Fostering—A Work Of Love

References

Appendix I   Interview Schedule—Foster Children

Appendix II   Interview Schedule—Biological Children

Appendix III   Asking Permission—Email 1

Appendix IV   Permission Granted—Email 1

Appendix V   Asking Permission—Email 2

Appendix VI   Permission Granted—Email 2

Appendix VII   Some Fond Memories: Family Outings

Appendix VIII   Noteworthy Commendation

Appendix IX   Noteworthy Commendation

Appendix X   Permission Granted—Oasis Academy

Dedicated to all foster children, carers and the biological children of foster carers.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us—Albert Schweitzer

The completion of this book was made possible by the encouragement and assistance received from family, friends and colleagues. We would like to extend sincerest thanks to all those who have helped in any way to make this publication possible. Special thanks are extended to the five children, who were willing participants in the ‘mini’ research project.

We wish to take this opportunity to express gratitude to the organisations and educational institutions that make the Lahrichi’s fostering experience a memorable one:

•   The Adolescents and Children’s Trust (TACT) - England & Wales

•   Parents for Children

•   Children and Adolescents Mental Health Service (CAMHS) - (Enfield)

•   Education Psychology Service (EPS) - Enfield

•   Fostering Teams - (Enfield & Haringey Local Authorities)

•   Primary and secondary schools in Enfield

Special thanks are extended to Moira Dodson, who is Mohammed and Sharon’s longest serving link worker and who had given invaluable support to them and the entire family. Thanks are also due to Michi Gurion, a former CAMHS’ consultant and psychotherapist, the social workers, link workers, foster carers who have given support and exhortation in one form or another and the Oasis Academy for the use of one of its photos. We are especially grateful to Isidro Ramos Cabello for providing the cover illustration.

FOREWORD

Fostering transcends ethnicity, rurality and civility—imagined and real. It should be interpreted in the language of love

—Gertrude Shotte

‘Family Matters’ is finally here. I knew that it was just a matter of time before months of planning would come to fruition. I feel a sense of pride to be associated with this book. It is an informative text that foster carers, social workers, teachers, Local Authorities (LAs) and other people from organisations that are involved in the care field should read. Each chapter offers the reader further insight into what foster care entails.

I have known the Lahrichi Family for about seven years. I am quite familiar with Foster Children 3, 4 and 5. I recall with much interest and admiration how Foster Child 4 would boast about his spelling prowess. Foster Child 4 had the ability to spell what have been referred to as difficult words in some English and Spelling texts. The famous Students’ Companion by Wilfred D Best describes such words as ‘words that are frequently misspelt’. I feel a similar sense of appreciation when Foster Child 3 gives me regularly updates on her educational progress, and when Foster Child 5 asks me to help him with Spelling and Mathematics. All these actions are rather commendable and they suggest that the three children see the value of being literate and mathematically competent in spite of the not-too-good start that they had in life. The biological children also have a high regard for literacy and education in general. They all demonstrate a strong desire to attain educational success. The older two are college students and the youngest is attending secondary school.

In my opinion, the ‘carers who care’, Mohammed and Sharon Lahrichi, are exceptional foster carers. Over the years, I have witnessed the positive developmental changes in the children whom they have fostered, and also in their biological children, whose strength of character plays a very big role in the success of the fostering activities in the household. To explain, Respondent 3 gave a heart-felt account of her experiences of living with foster children. For some parts of the narrative, Respondent 3 was quite tearful but insisted on telling her story because of its significance to the family’s book project.

What the Lahrichi’s have done in this publication is to re-emphasise that ‘experience is indeed the greatest teacher’, and that fostering is a work of love—agape love. They have shown that no child is beyond redemption regardless of the unfortunate start that he/she had in life—‘all he/she needs is love’ and foster carers who are willing to give it in abundance, in an environment that is conducive to his/her overall growth and development. They have also shown that displaying desirable qualities such as patience, compassion, understanding, thoughtfulness and affection, among others, is not only crucial to the attainment of success in fostering, but also vital to the promotion of a peaceful family environment. So passionate they are about fostering and caring for the ‘disadvantaged’ that they are seriously considering setting up a residential for children who leave care.

I have thoroughly enjoyed sharing the authorship, and being the editor of this publication. The task has evoked a barrage of emotions ranging from ‘soft’ to moderate to intense. My perspectives on fostering have been transformed in positive and meaningful ways.

Readers, be informed, be touched. Enjoy. Share.

Dr Gertrude Shotte

Middlesex University

London.

ABBREVIATIONS AND ACRONYMS

Chapter 1

INTRODUCTION AND FRAMEWORK

•   Setting the