One Parent's Story, Struggle ''Teenagers'' What Was I Thinking!

By Leon Segers Jr.

Although the title of this book indicates One parents story, struggle its actually about the battle between all parents and teens; or simply adults and teens in general. I say battle, but it has actually risen to the potential for what I call generational warfare.

Basically, teenagers have little respect for adults; especially parents. The protocol is simple; and yes most adults do recall progressing strategically in the same way during their own youth. Even before were born; we make demands. Then after weve grown a few years; we make many more demands. By the age of ten to thirteen, we more than expect those demands to unquestionably be met. Finally by the last 3 to 5 years of youth while living at home with our parents; weve assessed who our biggest enemy is and how we would like to take down who we now see as both an enemy, and a dictator.

Simply put: after youve bitten the hand that feeds you for so long; that hand begins to appear useless. And once that represents uselessness; the person behind that outreaching hand, also serves no purpose to you. So the stage is set. Teenagers wont look back with any sense of appreciation; and parents, who also continued to grow; will look back and wonder: was it all worth it. Many are optimistic, while others are in denial. But most can only feel one thingWhat was I thinking.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Oct 25, 2012
• ISBN: 9781479731015

Leon Segers Jr.

Leon Segers Jr. – Author/Screenwriter, Visionary and “The Working Man’s Prophet” has once again told it like it is. With this being his fourth book; he refused to pretend that yet another controversial subject matter was to taboo to reveal in an honest and revealing fashion. So after you’ve read this gem of a read: don’t forget to check out his other books: A “REAL LIFE” BIBLE, Black/White America, The Real Differences, and AMERICAN SEX…You won’t be able to put/them down…

Book preview

One Parent’s story, struggle

Teenagers

What was I thinking!

Leon Segers Jr.

Copyright © 2012 by Leon Segers Jr.

ISBN:        Softcover          978-1-4797-3100-8

                  Ebook              978-1-4797-3101-5

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

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www.Xlibris.com

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Contents

Foreword/Intro

Chapter 1 Self-Evident: Only Rich People Are Supposed To Have Kids . . .

Chapter 2 The Teenage Brain

Chapter 3 Teenage Lying

Chapter 4 Teen Sex

Chapter 5 Teen Pregnancy

Chapter 6 Teenage Know-It-Alls

Chapter 7 Teen Wimps/Teen Bullies

Chapter 8 Pretty Teens/Not So Pretty Teens

Chapter 9 Primadonnas

Chapter 10 Teenage Politics, Secret Codes, Cell Phones

Chapter 11 Teenage Criminals And The Justice System

Chapter 12 Teen Eating And Substance Abuse Habits

Chapter 13 Teenage Driving Vs. The Parent’s Nervous System

Chapter 14 Teenage Respect For Parents

Chapter 15 Teens Vs. The Mirror

Chapter 16 Teens And Money: Very Strange Bedfellows

Chapter 17 Teenage Revenge

Chapter 18 Teenage Race Relations And Other Social Issues

Chapter 19 How Behind A Parent’s Back Is The Teenage War Room

Epilogue

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FOREWORD/INTRO

First, I want to make something quite clear right off the bat . . . It’s obvious teenagers are created, invented, manufactured, and armed for the descension that they’ll inflict on society until adulthood snatches the rug out from under them. They are obviously not born. There’s definitely no evidence of what’s to come later where their life as a rule has different phases that accompany each given age segment. But when they become a teen; that’s the age that seems to be quite special. Man continues to wonder if there are aliens, and if they’ve visited our planet. Well me personally; I think there’s got to be a Planet Teenager out there somewhere. As a recent parent of three of them; I could kind of get a sense of where a movie like The body snatchers came from. By age twelve, it was more than obvious that that was primarily the age where rational negotiations began to really break off with each of them. The evidence of them morphing into something from another world started to appear crystal clear. They started to walk different, eat, talk, think, listen, not listen, and react to the main person they up until then, relied on for just about everything; their parent. You could see it in their eyes that secret agendas suddenly became a lot more meaningful. Not so much less confusing; but definitely more meaningful.

They began to react to my language like as if it suddenly became foreign and inaudible. Even if the word no wasn’t on their lips; it was clearly in their eyes. Although common sense is a sensibility that seems to remain vague to most people their whole life; whatever grasp of it that I had to instill into my pre-teens, for awhile, seemed to be working. Then for all three; age thirteen seemed to be an E.T. phone home moment with them. They truly no longer had a clue what was best for them; especially if it were suggested or offered by me. What I said not to do, became, What do you mean instead of simply O.K. When I would say go left, their mind and mouth would think and say right makes more sense, even if I explained that it was dangerous. Several times before and since age thirteen; I explained to all my kids that when they turned thirteen; whatever their personality was by that age, will be their personality for the rest of their life, unless something drastic causes it to change. Of course they looked at me in total confusion, just as they still do now that they are adults. Speaking of look; teens not only develop a sort of language of their own; they also develop a unique language with just their eyes alone. Since teens don’t have a very good poker—face, parents who themselves are not naive, can vicariously hear the coded messages teenage eyes say to them and others. And those messages are very clear and concise if your eyes know how to listen to their eyes. It’s not hard at all to hear exactly what teen eyes are saying; especially if you are the Desinated Parent. Having had three teens; I’ve heard a whole lot of eye talk over a lot of years, that was directed at me. And I’ve seen eye talk that directed at other naive parents and adults by teens where unfortunately the adults didn’t know how to read the teens eye language. Some of which was worst than my kids eye talk. Of course the most dominate and #one word in teenage eye talk, is the word No! Even adults that aren’t parents, and never want to be parents, can look at teens eyes and read that word. Since teens assume if they’re not actually saying anything; adults won’t know what they’re thinking. But then again, there are those teens that hope like mad that the parent or other adults they’re confronting, know exactly what their eyes are saying . . . without any doubt. Teen eye language is easily interpreted along the lines of a list of pretty simple basics, like: anger, joy, envy, jealousy, contempt, and rebellion.

Certain thoughts and phrases in their minds are most abrupt and meant by them to be interpreted loudly; like the anger laced ones I hate you, you can’t tell me what to do, git the f##k off my back, go f##k yourself, I wish you were dead, I wish I were dead, and just plain, f##k it! And then being that teens are only in the beginning process of knowing how to actually express themselves; their eye language of joy will also be less than appropriate. Like if a teen is given money. Their eyes will say, Is that all. I deserve more than that; cheap mother-f-er. Then if you’re one of those parents that can supply them with a car to own and drive when they’re of age; their attitude and eye language, if not their words, will be, What a piece of sh#t. That’s ugly. I don’t like that color. So and so’s parents bought him a such and such; not this tin can. I can’t let my friends see me riding around in this piece of sh#t! Since by the teen years, they have long since learned that money is their only God; they can only look at their parents and other adults the same way the I.R.S. looks at all of us, Show me the money. To them, their parents and other adults are just standing in the way of their true and only worship. They don’t really care that everything cost money, and that money is hard to come by. Their attitude with all that they see as standing in their way is, Give it to me and move aside. Now I realize that by writing this Let the cat out the bag type book, that any teens now or in the future that reads this will probably collectively say something to the affect of, He don’t know what he’s talking about. . . . He’s full of sh#t! But that’s O.K., because I also know that teens are curious to know if parents and other adults have a clue as to what makes them tick. I know that while teens love the deception between the parent and other adults; they on the other hand want to be accepted and understood by whomever they view as their adversary. So although this book in many ways will come off as mostly one big Dis to teens who read it; I say with much certainty that it will just as well be a resource that will subliminally help teens to understand themselves in ways that they needed revealed to them. As the Author of this book; I know that teenage unworldly behavior is not entirely their fault; but this book might be a learning experience for a lot of parents and other adults. Plus be a full length mirror teens have never looked into before.

So in the collective words of teens everywhere . . . Let’s do the damn thing! . . .

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CHAPTER 1

Self-evident: Only rich people

are supposed to have kids . . .

Well; I wasn’t sure at first rather to make this the first chapter, or the last. Or somewhere in between . . . Anyway; here goes . . .

You can ask just about anybody that knows me; I’ve been reiterating the title of this chapter for years. So it only made sense that I put it in writing just how true and realistic that saying is. I wonder how many of you reading this can guess what are the two most important things to enter into a young child’s life in anywhere from an industrialized, to a third world nation . . . stumped; it’s candy and money. Think about it. What happens when a child discovers sugar for the first time? Every parent from that point forward has a child that’s addicted to sugar; mostly in the form of candy. Then shortly, and perhaps quickly—and for you parents out there; think about this carefully—what’s the next addiction that will last your child/children a life time . . . money . . . You couldn’t get them off either of them if you held a gun to their head, or your head. They’re hooked, and hooked firmly. The simplicity of it seems downright astounding how those two things become a child’s bible. And I say bible because just try taking it away from them. It’d be like trying to take a Christian from their religion. It’d be like trying to take monk from his solitude. It’d be like trying to take Israel from Jews. Like I said in the intro; I’m a parent of three kids that are now adults. I went through that trial and error; so I know I’m qualified to speak on it. I’ve seen both transitions take full affect.

I watched the first words of their 18 years of eye language transpire. That first sugar lick presented them with a look in their eyes of pure ecstasy. I have to admit; I made the mistake that every parent has made by offering candy to stop the hair pulling crying . . . Thanks parents . . . I can feel your imaginary high five over how well it worked. I think all you parents out there will agree with me that that’s probably our kids first gimme. You can’t close that pandora’s box. And if you introduced it early enough; candy probably became their first word, perhaps before they could say mama or papa. So parents; now we’ve done it. Sure; they were going to discover candy no matter what. But our weak moment fulfilled the prophecy. Where can we take our kids where candy isn’t offered in some compasity. From churches to banks, to everywhere candy is sold . . . In other words; candy is practically falling out of the sky right into our reaching kids hands. So as all this unfolds; now you have two people hooked on candy. The child in need, and the parent who grieves. And yes, let’s not forget that parents like candy too. After all; they were once a child themselves. Then it’s on to the child’s next, and most potent addiction—money. Sure when a child sees money for the first time, if they haven’t already been taught the significance of it; it’s irrelevant to them. Just a couple of items that to a child looks like something new to play with, chew on, and toss about. Not it’s the very thing that can purchase the candy that’s not always up for grabs for them. I remember the look on my kids faces when they first saw me at a store being handed candy after I handed the clerk a small amount of those items which they up until then didn’t relate. Even when they saw me purchase other things besides candy. Some how unlike Halloween, Xmas, and Easter; a strange phenomenon occurred. As time moved on; they no longer saw money as something to play with, or lose track of by tossing it away, or destroying it. It became their first successful education. They needed no Teacher or grades to fully get it. The only thing they still didn’t know was, where does it come from. They know that it’s something to trade with others to get things; but where does it come from? The only time they saw it materialize was when I or any other adult reached into a pocket or purse to bring it out. Then as the education continued; they realized that money must be something really important, because watching me or others; money really seemed to need a secure place to be kept and hidden; for as of yet, some unknown reasons they would later learn.

Soon that education started to reveal several aspects that to them didn’t clearly add up. All kids start to see many changes in their parent(s) that seem to be connected to money. Like why is their parent suddenly over-joyed by the fact that their job has presented them with much more money, or what we who work for it, know of as a raise. Why does the parent seem much happier about spending it than they did yesterday. Or why suddenly the parent is subdued when they show every indication that the money they spent doesn’t balance out in their mind, voice, or on paper. Why now a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde effect has come over the parent behind what’s been revealed as an obvious lost, or why they are not smiling or happy when expected to buy just about any and everything the child wants. Right there is where class and type really shows for all that it’s worth. Young kids especially can relate to seeing their parent consistently buy them things particularly when they’ve become accustomed to what their eyes have in a short time seen as a must have/need. Adults understand that any and everything can end. Children have no clue that anything can end, unless it’s pain or any wanting desire. When a parent says I don’t have the money; for the majority of the youngest amongst kids up to nearly 18; they don’t see any reason why the money’s not there. Especially if they think nothing has changed with how the parent attains their money. All the way up into the latest teen years; the child only sees a cheap, money hoarding parent who they have long since come up with several reasons to dislike, disrespect, and not trust. Even profound changes in the family’s economic circumstances won’t be enough to convince teens in particular, that there’s a just cause for what appears to be a diminish in their quality of life. Like with everyone in life; the theory is, If you don’t have to produce the product; who cares how it’s made. All this leads to the title of this chapter where Only the rich are supposed to have kids. This probably seems like an odd thing to say to a lot of people who’ll read this book; but even if after reading this chapter and they still don’t agree with me; they won’t forget the implication behind the logic I’ve presented. For all those who know the #1 philosophy in life is, money and health are the most important things, will see my point. I know many say, as long as you can give a child love, you’ve given them the most important thing. In a make believe world that could work. But in the real world where we all live . . . No . . .

In the real world, love is an after thought after the check’s been cashed, so to speak. Human nature dictates love thy self before any comfort goes to love someone else can be accomplished. Most people can’t relate to that because they don’t know the real reason why they love someone else. They don’t know that a satisfactory level of self-fulfillment is the key to it all. Here’s just one example of proof: Think about how anger dampens the essence of love, even with those that try real hard to look past that anger. Anger is a distraction; just as is the lack of money. Money delivers a plan as no degree of love ever could. No measure or test of boundaries could ever be adequate. In comparison to money, what are a list of things love can actually do? Love can only place a loose mask over the face of anger where a firm hand must hold it in place. Love is just an anticipated word that helps those who hope to hear it, feel better about themselves, and the one who says the word to them. Love is used as a tool and an item of closure. As a tool, people have been taught