I Detransitioned. But Not Because I Wasn't Trans.
Editor’s Note: This article is part of a series of responses to Jesse Singal’s Atlantic article, “When Children Say They’re Trans.”
I had my first kiss with a boy long before I transitioned. At 17, I knew I was a girl, but also that adults in my life weren’t ready for that. I figured if I couldn’t be a girl, then I might as well fake being a boy who likes boys.
It was the winter of 2004. I remember this because that was when my little heart discovered the Bright Eyes song “Lover I Don’t Have to Love.” On this perfectly executed, piano-driven, emotional roller coaster of a track, Conor Oberst sings, “I want a lover I don’t have to love. I want a boy who’s so drunk he doesn’t talk.”
On the desktop computer in the kitchen of my home in rural Maine, I opened up AIM and typed out an away message with that lyric and then, without waking up my
