Eleven Simple Keys to Being the Best Dad You Can Be

By Dominic Nueno Reyes

An adventure that I started in my mid-20s, and my experience of being a single dad into my 30s & as I am about to enter my 40s, this book was written over a course of 7 years and is a culmination based on my observations in my younger years, and what I have been doing to be the best dad I can possibly be for my daughter for over a decade. If you are about to become a dad, or you have been wondering about how to be a good dad, and actually want to be one of the few, yet have no clue what to do nor where to begin, read it, follow it - then bask in the pure joy of being a Dad.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Feb 29, 2016
• ISBN: 9781504977975

Dominic Nueno Reyes

Born in 1977 to a single mother. Father-figure enters my life when I am 2 years old and raises me as if I was his own offspring. I am soon blessed with a half-sister in 1984, but then she is taken away from me by a catastrophic death in 1990. Even at the young age of 14, I knew I wanted to be a father. I seemed to have a natural knack for taking care of kids, usually being left in-charge of babysitting my younger cousins. Blessed in 2003 with a beautiful daughter. Divorced in 2006, and I have been a single dad ever since, and I am not exaggerating when I say that I love every single moment of it. I would have to say that being a single dad gave me even more drive and more focus to be the best dad I can be to my daughter.

Book preview

© 2016 Dominic Reyes. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 02/18/2016

ISBN: 978-1-5049-7795-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5049-7797-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016901980

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Chapters

Chapter 1

Love is not true love, unless it is unconditional

I.1 Love Them

I.2 Encourage them…

I.3 Separate Nurturing, from Smothering

I.4 They are Their Own Person

I.5 8 Important DON’Ts:

I.6 Prioritize them

Chapter 2

Tell them that you love them. ALL THE TIME!!

II.1 No excuses, No explanations

II.2 Change your lineage

II.3 From Fathers to Sons

II.4 Important DONT’s

Chapter 3

Hug… A Lot

III.1 What is a hug

III.2 When to hug

III.3 One day, YOU will need hugs too…

III.4 More benefits to hugging — the science behind hugs

III.5 Important things to remember about hugging

Chapter 4

Be Proud of Them!! … no matter what

IV.1 What to do

IV.2 Story time

IV.3 Important DONT’s

Chapter 5a

Be Involved!!

Va.1 Be in the know!!

Va.2 Good, Better, BEST practices

Va.3 What to do

Va.4 Support them

Va.5 Story time

Va.6 Designate Wednesday Nights as FAMILY NIGHT

Va.7 Check on them ALWAYS

Va.8 Serious Talks

Va.9 SIDENOTEs:

Chapter 5b

Involve Them!!

Vb.1 What to do

Vb.2 Story time

Vb.3 Important DONT’s

Vb.4 SIDENOTEs:

Chapter 6

Be Mindful of Your Actions ~ Always…

VI.1 Children idolize their parents.

VI.2 When you have a child, your life isn’t our own anymore

VI.3 Watch not just what you say, but how you say it

VI.4 Be patient with them

VI.5 Build their trust in you.

Chapter 7

Make Promises… Only if You Intend to Keep Them!!

VII.1 What are promises

VII.2 Once you make a promise

VII.3 Loss of Trust

VII.4 SIDENOTEs:

Chapter 8

Be Stern, But Fair

VIII.1 YOU ARE THE PARENT

VIII.2 How temper tantrums and spoiled brats develop

VIII.3 Saying NO!!

VIII.4 BE CONSISTENT

VIII.5 BUST OUT YOUR BUD NIPPER and NIP IT

AT THE BUD!!!

VIII.6 <<<< ~ BALANCE ~ >>>>

VIII.7 Giving them a HEADSUP

VIII.8 Important DON’Ts!!

VIII.9

Chapter 9

Do Not Spoil Them!!!

IX.1 It’s natural to want to spoil them

IX.2 Story time

IX.3 Make them EARN IT!!

IX.4 Me-Me-Me

Chapter 10

Be Goofy!!

X.1 Laughing

X.2 Don’t embarrass them

X.3 SIDENOTEs~

Chapter 11

Respect Them

XI.1 Respect them as a person

XI.2 Respect their privacy

XI.3 Respect their decisions

XI.4 Respect their time

XI.5 Respect them as a person and accept that they will grow up

XI.6 SIDENOTEs~

Prologue

Before we get started, just a little background info about me & why I wrote this book.

My childhood and upbringing was not a typical one. I was born out of wedlock in the late70s, which back then was extremely frowned upon, most especially in a conservative Catholic country in Asia the Philippines. For the first two years of my existence, my mom being the strong independent woman that she is, did the best that she could to raise me all on her own. Then when I was two years old, she met my stepdad who raised me as if I was his own child. Growing up, I never referred to him as my stepdad though. Not back then, & not now 30+ years later.

My Dad was an executive of a hotel franchise, and I remember that everybody looked up to him, both figuratively and literally. He stood 6ft tall smack dab in the middle of South East Asia, where the average height of a fully grown male is about 5ft5. He was, and still is, a very hard working man, a great provider, a corny joke teller, but he was & is always there for me when I need him.

I was told that I was a quiet kid, but as far as I can remember, I did a lot of observing. What people said, how people acted, how they say what they say, & why they did what they did. One thing that really piqued my interest though was why parents, not just some, but all parents seemingly undergo a Jekyll-to-Hyde metamorphosis when they are around their friends, as compared to how they are when they are around their kids. When adults are around their friends, they are Dr. Jekyll happier, always laughing out loud all boisterous, drinking up a storm, talking all loudly. And then immediately shushing each other and whispering and quick side-glancing eyes as soon as a child is within earshot. They would spell out words that I already knew the spelling of, mostly bad words. They would whisper the end part of the jokes which I somewhat knew for sure were good punchlines, but for some reason the adults would always say That’s So Bad! but were laughing hysterically as they said it.

And then as soon as the kids were within eavesdropping distance, then they transform into a Mr. Hyde especially the way they talk to them, ordering them to finish their food, constantly telling them to be careful, always grouchy with a very stern, impatient tone. Basically the parents/adults became all dead serious, impatient, & un-fun.

One of my earliest memories was when I was about 5 years old, I overheard some adults chatting, and they were asking my parents how they were able to raise such a disciplined, polite and obedient young boy (HEY! I was 5, I didn’t say this was yesterday). I tried to listen more intently, but they saw my ears perk up and so they huddled up & started mumbling amongst themselves, like a football team seeing a member of the other team close-by.

At such a young age, I suddenly felt as if my world as I knew it was flipped upside down. Up until that point in my young life, I thought ALL PARENTS knew what they were doing. I was under the impression that ALL PARENTS raised their kids the exact same uniform way. That there was a standard pattern. That ALL PARENTS had been bequeathed the proper knowledge of how to raise their kids, that somewhere in Grownup World which I