The Dragon

By Kirk E. Shipley

MEMO FROM GOD
To: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: GOD: The Boss!!
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE
This is GOD. Today I will be handling all of your problems for you.
I Love You.
GOD
P.S. And rememberIf life Happens to deliver a situation
To you, that you cannot handle, do not attempt to handle it
Yourself!! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to handle) box. I will get to it in My TIME!! All situation will be resolved, but in MY time.
p.s.s. Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold on to it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life.
Now go and have a good day because God Loves You.
I talked with a woman the other about her son that was in Viet Nam and eventually died from inhalation of various gases. She said He couldnt find any reason why we were there. Over a period of time he finally found the answer to his, mine and many others that served in any of the various conflicts around the world since WWII. He requested it be inscribed on his tombstone. RIP Russ Jarvis WE WERE SAVING THE WORLD FROM GODLESS COMMUNISM.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Sep 30, 2013
• ISBN: 9781483674698

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Copyright © 2013 by Kirk E. Shipley.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted

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without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

Rev. date: 08/24/2013

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Contents

Foreword

Introduction

Dedication And Acknowledgments

Chapter I   The Early Years

Chapter II   Mind, Will, and Emotion

Chapter III   Personal Ledger

Chapter IV   Spiritual Awareness

FOREWORD

I’ve come to visit you once again. I love to see you suffer mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, and socially. I want to make you restless so you can never relax. I want you jumpy, nervous, and anxious. I want to make you agitated and irritable, confused and depressed, so that you can’t think clearly or positively. I want to make you hate everything and everybody, especially yourself. I want you to feel guilty and remorseful for the things you have seen and done in the past and all those things that happened to you that you’ll never be able to let go of. I want to make you angry and hateful towards the world for the way it is and the way you are. I want you to feel sorry for yourself and blame everything but yourself for the way things are. I want you to be deceitful, to make you fearful and paranoid for no reason at all. I want you to wake up during all hours of the night screaming for me. You know you can’t sleep without me. I am even in your dreams. I want to be the first thing you wake up to every morning and the last thing you see and feel. I would be happy to put you back in the hospital, in another institution, or in jail. But you know I’ll be waiting for you when you get out. I love to watch you slowly going insane. I love to see all the physical damage that I’m causing you.

I can’t help sneer and chuckle when you shiver and shake, when you freeze and sleep at the same time, and when you wake up with your sheets and blankets soaking wet. I want you to turn to alcohol and drugs to try and suppress me. It’s amazing to watch you trying to hold me down. It’s amazing how much damage I can be to your internal organs while at the same time work on your brain, destroying it bit by bit. I deeply appreciate how much you sacrifice for me. The countless good jobs you have sacrificed for me. All refined friends that you deeply cared for and gave up for me. And what’s more, the ones you turned against yourself because of your inexcusable actions. I am more grateful, especially for your loved ones, your family, and the most important people in the world to you that you even threw them away for me. I cannot express in words of the gratitude I have for the loyalty you have for me. You sacrificed all these beautiful things in life just to devote yourself completely to me. But do not despair, friend, for me you can always depend. For after you have lost all these things, you can still depend on me to take even more. You can depend on me to keep you in a living hell, your mind, body, and soul, for you will not be free until you are dead, my friend.

Let me introduce myself… I am the Dragon.

INTRODUCTION

This is the diary of my PTSD diagnosis forty years after my service in Vietnam. I dedicate this writing to those people who endure trials, heartaches, and disappointments looking for answers. Why do we do those things we shouldn’t but don’t do those things we should? Does the way we feel control our motivation? What holds us back from overcoming stumbling blocks that prevent us from becoming the person we really want to be?

Conflict and confusion, both words work in the mind, helping it make a decision. Conflict is the test of truths through an emotional disturbance because of a difference in opinions and ideas. Therefore, it becomes data to help the emotion decide what type of reaction to make. Usually, these conflicts end up in arguments and distrust, and some are strong enough to cause families to split, or they may be retained in the memory, causing disloyalty, avoidance, feuds, or family fights.

Confusion can cause the same effect as test of knowledge, distorting facts, causing misunderstandings and a disturbance in beliefs and values, that will also supply information to the emotion for a reaction.

Over the past few centuries, there have been what I call transition periods. These periods introduced us to all types of new innovations.

The 1800s introduced us to new territories, the gold rush, conflicts, and the civil war. The 1900s were a milestone in changes. New transportation changed from horse and buggy to gas-powered automobiles and many more. Change was hard for some because they liked the old ways. Then it was the First World War, the war that would end all wars. The Great Depression, World War II (renaming the First World War to World War I), Korea, Vietnam, so many conflicts, one after another. The biggest change was the introduction to the technical age, cell phones, and computers. By the beginning of the twenty-first century, computers and cell phones continued to improve at a rate that by the time you bought a new one, another newer one took its place. However, many did not accept this new way of communication, just as before. But eventually, the cell phone reigned; and at this writing on a computer, it has become evident of more changes and misunderstandings that have led us into conflict and confusion.

DEDICATION AND ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

To Mary, my wonderful wife who still believes in our wedding vows, I thank her for being the person she wants to be and for her continued support and understanding that things will always get better. Most of all, I thank her for her ability to see things the way they are. She has great control of her mind, will, and emotion, making the most of every day. She was the driving force that inspired me to finish this writing which I started in 1983.

To our son, Sean, who has endured life’s challenges by finding his path and becoming the man he was meant to be. He takes life as it is and also makes the most of every day.

To Karen and Gregory, for their continued belief that I would get better and that I would be able to have a good and fruitful life.

My closest and dearest friends Bert and Barb (now at rest with God), Ralph and Marianne, Bob and Georgia, Travis and Vickie, for their understanding and patience during the several years of my troubled life and for helping me understand the true meaning of friendship.

Faithful friends, family, and Big Guy were always there to comfort and support me in good times and bad.

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Big Guy

I have learned from all of you about friendship, love, and God, which now are molding me into the person he wants me to be.

It would only be proper and with great admiration to acknowledge Jim, Mark, and Scott, caseworkers from the Disabled American Veterans.

Especially to Dr. Catie Johnston-Brooks, senior neuropsychologist, for her continued desire to make me the best person possible with what she had to start with, virtually a person on the brink of self-destruction.

A special thanks goes to Sandy Sutton for her artwork and Sandy Meyer for the photographs.

CHAPTER I

The Early Years

Welcome to the story of Kirk E. Shipley—born a coal miner’s son, college dropout, war veteran, heavy-equipment operator, the original all-American Wise Guy. I was born on March 25, 1944, and the memories of my childhood began while living in a small country house during the late forties in northwestern Colorado.

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Coal Car

My father was a coal miner, so all efforts were directed to digging the coal and trucking it eighteen miles to the railhead for shipping. Living in the country was great. There was always something to do. We had two horses. One was a big white horse named Moon that pulled the coal cars out of the mine. The other, a black riding horse, was named Coal. I don’t know exactly what he did other than chase Mom when she went out to feed the geese and chickens.

That kept me and my sister very busy, especially that the geese had a really bad attitude!

Dad was very strict about me and my sister crossing the highway. Actually, we were not allowed to cross it. I, however, was determined to see the mine; so I hid at the back of the pickup that Dad used at the mine. All went well. I hid, and Dad came out of the house to start the truck, and we proceeded to the mine. The only thing I had not accounted for was that Dad needed tools from the back of the truck to start the big generators. When he saw me, he was so mad that he dragged me by the ear all the way back to the house. Actually, it wasn’t really that far, about two hundred yards, but it seemed like miles to me. Back then, discipline was used to make sure we understood that what we had done was wrong. So out came the razor strap, and well, I will let your imagination determine the outcome. My mom and dad always had a good outlook in life, even when times were bad.

We would trade coal for fresh fruit, food, and clothing. Mom always said, It is okay, times will get better. In this small country house heated by a coal furnace, Mom and my sister, Karen, cooked on a coal stove; and the outside toilet was really nice, especially during winter.

There was an artesian well outside for water, and in the winter, it would freeze, and ice would build up to seven or eight feet. My sister and I would climb up and slide down it.

I have fond memories of Sammy, the Greek sheepherder, having lunch of goat milk cheese and sheepherder bread. Delicious by the way, but boy, that stuff did not smell good! Mom was not really happy when we went to see him against her wishes, and sometimes we would get spanked (oops! bad word). Oh yes, we had chores to do, and all this kept us busy until the end of summer when school started in our one-room schoolhouse.

My oldest brother, Bob, was grown and off to college before I had a chance to get to know him. My other brother, Bill, worked in the mine with Dad and drove the loaded coal truck to the railhead for shipment.

Once in a while, I would get to go with him. For a small child, to be in a big truck and going up big hills would challenge my courage. Many times going very slow up the hills, I would begin to cry, telling my brother we were going to crash before we could get to the top. He would always tell me it would be okay. I would cuddle up with our trusty dog, Spot, for comfort.

Sometimes