Nothing but Time Memoirs

By GSG and Sons

What made three young men cross the line of no return? Was it a curse? Some people would say, Is this a generational curse? This story is about three young men in different cities, venturing down the same path, eventually receiving many years in the California State Penitentiary. All three carry the same last name, Patterson, and although they were brought up in the church, all three truly found God at last; when He demanded their undivided attention behind prison walls. They learned to have faith that only God could open the doors of freedom, giving them a second chance at life. They prayed for a new beginning, seeking an appeal to reduce their time. The three young men have different stories, but the same plight. Jam, Briddle, Cooter and their comrades.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jul 13, 2012
• ISBN: 9781477249208

GSG

I was born the eldest of seven children in Merced, California. When I was still young, my family relocated to Pittsburg, California. I graduated from Pittsburg High School in 1969. I also attended Contra Costa College, where I obtained an Associate of Arts Degree. I have three children and four grandchildren I adore. When they are little, you carry them on your hip; when they’re older, you carry them on your heart. Little did I know God had a plan for me. I wrote short stories and poems, and here I am, sharing my life story with the world. Those short stories paid off. You never know what you are made of until you have been through something. Currently, I’m an activist for men and women in prison and my life’s companion is Lex, my toy poodle. I have always wanted to be comfortable, healthy, and a good mother. I worked at a supermarket for fifteen years prior to an early retirement from various health issues. In 2006, both of my sons were sentenced to many years in prison. I always wondered if my sons would ever see each other again. In May of 2011, my sons finally crossed paths after seven years in the institution. They looked into one another’s eyes to say, “I love you” from 20 feet away. Shortly after, Briddle was transferred to another state facility. God gave me my heart’s desire. In the name of Jesus! I am one of many good law abiding citizens whom would hear the word, convict, or prisoner, and I’m sorry to say, I was the first to judge that man or woman as well. Now, I have honestly learned the meaning of Mathew 7:1-5. Then I lost my children and family members to the California Correctional Institution better known as the “penitentiary.” Now I look at these men and women in a different light. With that being said, many people do belong in prison to protect our citizens from harm who commit crimes. However, not all people who make poor choices are deemed as monsters, in which have served their time… They should have a second chance at freedom. Children aren’t born bad, it’s there environment and how they are groomed to fit into our society. Although, I’m not stating that their crimes are justifiable for their poor choices, but a man or woman’s heart can be cleansed through the power of our heavenly father. Who could’ve ever told me I would find my soul mate behind prison walls, “BAM”! I can honestly say I’m happy with my life choices! Think about it, you can’t help whom God place in your life. Only God knows freedom, and happiness all comes from choices. I have written this book as therapy to my soul and heart. My purpose in writing this book is to leave a legacy to my beautiful children and my precious grandchildren. This book has also been written to touch as many men and women in prison as possible, and encourage them to look to the Lord and to make wise decisions throughout their entire lives. I plan to live out my life and continue being a life coach to the men and women behind the prison walls. All of these young men will finally come home and be a living testimony for the Lord. (1st Corinthians 7: 19-24) Dam 1

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© 2012 by GSG & Sons. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 12/03/2012

ISBN: 978-1-4772-1085-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4772-4920-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012909388

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

Part I

Chapter I   A Mother’s Early Life

Chapter II   The Sentencing

Chapter III   Doctor’s Visit

Chapter IV   Love At First Sight, My Gorgeous Baby Doll!

Chapter V   Lex The Hood Poodle!

Chapter VI   Isn’t She Beautiful!

Chapter VII   Te-Te’s First Visit With Jam

Chapter VIII   Momma’s Coming!

Chapter IX   Te-Te’s Last Visit With Jam, Just Can’t Say Goodbye!!!

Chapter X   My First Phone Call From Jam, Miss You, Son!!!

Chapter XI   Jam’s Arrival To San Quentin State Prison, Here I Go Again, Moving On

Chapter XII   My First Visit With Jam, I Can’t Let You Go!!!

Chapter XIII   My Second Visit With Jam, Give It Your All, Hold Your Head Up High!

Chapter XIV   My Last Visit

Chapter XV   Jam Continues His Journey, Until You Come Back To Me!!!

Chapter XVI   Snook Would Always Save The Day!!!

Chapter XVII   Art Winston, Could He Be The One?

Chapter XVIII   My Birthday

Chapter XIX   Four Years In Cya, A New Beginning!!!

Chapter XX   Briddle’s Story, It Wasn’t Your Time, God Is So Good!!!

Chapter XXI   Our First Visit With Briddle, I’ll Never Be Too Far Away From You!!!

Chapter XXII   My Second Visit With Briddle, Pleasant Surprise!!!

Chapter XXIII   My Last Visit With Briddle At Tracy, Chocolate Easter Bunny!!!

Chapter XXIV   On Briddle’s Journey, Mother’s Intuition

Chapter XXV   Moving To High Desert State Prison, Up, Up, And Away!!!

Chapter XXVI   Lil’ D’s Story

Chapter XXVII   Ms. Anointed

Chapter XXVIII   The Freedom Train

Part Ii

Chapter XXIX   Nyoatha’s Beautiful Gifts

Chapter XXX   Our Knight And Shining Armour

SPECIAL DEDICATION

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First let me state that this is the corrected version of the original book. Anyone who purchased the first book should get the corrected version. The first book has Briddle’s name misspelled (Brittle). However this is the better version it is more polished and cleaned up. We are sorry for the inconvenience.

I also would like to acknowledge Sue Hummel for providing me with the groundbreaking foundation regarding the typing and editing. You definitely put us on the right track! V-Dogg: Thank you for enlightening the readers on A Young Black Man’s Point of View. Special acknowledgements to Beverly and Bruce for believing in me from the beginning. Special thanks to Mamie Johnson when I was hungry you fed me!

I would like to thank Ramesha, my goddaughter, for her input and research to make this book possible. I never thought that the little girl, seven years old, whom I accompanied with my daughter on a school fieldtrip, would play an important role in our family life experiences. I will always be there for you.

I also would like to thank Carolyn T Zellander. Thank you for your fresh set of eyes. Also thanks to Timothy N. Stelly who provided further editing assistance and rewriting. I would like to thank Apostle Raymond L Dorrough, Ph.D., D.D.S., and M. Octavia Dorrough, Senior Pastor of Love Christian Fellowship World Outreach Church, 409 East 10th Street, Pittsburg, Ca 94565 for your encouragement and prayerful support and for showing us how to establish a covenant with God and we have truly been blessed a hundred fold. Thanks to all the constituents for your support in the three strikes law. Thank you Jesus!

To my niece, welcome home. We only desire to receive you, not judge you. By God’s stripes you are healed. In the name of Jesus! God has you under his hedge of protection.

Congratulations to President Barack Obama on your second term election! 2012

ARMY OF ANGELS

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R.I.P.

This is dedicated as a memorial to all of Jam, Briddle and Lil George’s friends and family who fell victim to violent deaths: Jamal Mally Easter, Aaron Satcher Boy, Famous Modine Flucas (fatal car accident), Fredrick Freako Gaines, Danny Dan G Guyse, June Sauce Kelly, Terence Williams AKA Quick Draw, Derrick Twin D Page, Kenny Ken-Folks Ford, Donte Dunt Mitchell, Karelle Brantley, Denno Stingley, Earl Foster Jr., Roddrick Ivrey, C-Soul, Will-Moe, Big Doug, Lil Gas, Erica Shaw, Katura Mollique, Lil E, Young Spoogy, Young Chancy, Javon, Junior, Jameel Peals A.K.A. Kill, Weldon Harts A.K.A. Baudo, Eric Pree A.K.A. Lile, Greg Leevy A.K.A. Lil G, Paul Walker, Ronald Joey Reed, and Jeramiah A.K.A. LIL J. You will never be forgotten.

NOTE SPECIAL

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

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Thank you, Jonas Bryant, for naming the book Nothing but Time—Memoirs! There could not have been any other title as fitting to describe the pain, sorrow, and loneliness of these three young men! And thank you to my mentor and friend, Doris Jean Shahrokhimanesh, author of Under the Veil, for stroking my ego and bringing me to the realization that I could make this all come together and not worry about the cost!

I am grateful to my son’s father. Only you with all your past experience could understand what our sons Charles and Jarvis are enduring. Thank you for being right there!

Thank you, Poo! You have been the driving force in my life, always believing in me and supporting me in everything, from supplying the paper, pens, and every page that I wrote free hand, one page at a time, and reading my work back to me as I completed each chapter. You could never be replaced. Daughter, it may seem as though I nag and nag, but I have only you left here to keep my spirits alive.

To you, Mother Eleanor, I want to thank you for giving me life and having the strength to endure so much pain and sadness. You introduced God into my life at an early age; to prepare me to follow my destiny; to give my children the strength you passed on to me and that helped me move forward in life. To the rest of my family and friends who kept an open line of communication to my sons and nephew; and to anyone I didn’t mention, your support gave me the desire to complete this book.

To my dearest precious mother in law, Ella Mae Gordon, and my father in law, Leondus Gordon, thank you for allowing me to be a part of your family for so many years. Ella Mae I also would like to thank you for grooming me to be the woman I am today. You were a trailblazer; for example, you instilled cooking, giving, family structure, loyalty, love, and so much more! You will never be forgotten and will always be a part of me. More important, I thank you for encouraging me go back to school hold my head high and standing by me. May the both of you R.I.P. and we will meet again!

My beautiful sister in law, Wilma, I promise that God is going to allow your nephews to reunite soon. Our fondest memories of you are how you always gave everyone a belly-shaking laugh. You are at peace now. To my goddaughters, Nina and Natalie; and Stacey my niece for taking the time to write to my two sons and nephew giving them hope. I am grateful for your support and your belief in God and me.

Anton Cousin, your presence is truly missed. You would be proud of your sons.

I especially wish to express my appreciation to my sisters, Kathy, Carol, Gwen, Doll Gant and Johnetta. You have been supportive from the beginning of the book to the end, I love you all! I also would like to thank my sister and my nephew for giving me your unconditional support, home sweet home. To my brothers: Red: Thank you for playing a very important part with this book. If it weren’t for your keen eyes browsing the internet, I would never have found Author House to bring this story to manifestation. Kool Hand: You were always there for me when I needed you most, I haven’t forgotten. I like to also thank my sister Jeanette for all your support. Vedrick, thank you for watching the baby and being supportive as well as understanding. We owe you one.

Rider J Clyde & Messy Marv thank you for promoting this book.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

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I want to thank my God for keeping me strong in faith and continued stable health; while enduring all the mental and physical anguish that my family and I have endured.

I would also like to thank God for providing me with the serenity, enabling me to supply my sons, nephew, and their comrades with the spiritual support and the blessings that the Lord has given this family. We continue to hold on to our faith. I am only telling my sons’ and my nephew’s stories, hoping that it will save some other mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, neighbors, or grandparents from what my family, my children and I have experienced. Hopefully, it will be an eye-opener for a young man or woman, so that they may have a change of heart and make wiser choices.

This book is also to outline their lives from when they were children, developing into young men, and becoming adults; in which is to start at the root as to how they began to live a careless lifestyle. First and foremost, I refer to myself as ( a.k.a.( Nyoatha), I would like to thank (a.k.a. (Big Jam) for giving us both handsome, loving, ingenious twins, by whom I am inspired to write this heartfelt story. I would like to thank (a.k.a. (Jam), (a.k.a. (the Nutty Professor, Ph.D.; Nut Briddle; Briddle; Supernatural; Nuttyman; Peanut Briddle ), (a.k.a. (Cooter) and comrades for enabling me to use your inner strength. I also would like to thank, (a.k.a. (Poo) for editing, formatting, proofreading, and making any further corrections. You truly are my angel! I also would like to thank you, Author’s House, for the patience and understanding you maintained when I had further inquiries regarding the book. It took six in a half years to find closure to finally publish this book. You made it possible for me to tell my story. Thank you!

I would also like to thank Black, P-shay, Lil’ George, Ras, P-Dog, V-Dogg, Cukie, Poppadae, C.J., Dalpho, Stoney, Lil Rick, Big Ant, Mrs. P, Lil D, Brother Mims, Boot Mouth, Pee-Wee, Joker, Lil Man, Demoin, Joe Terrell and Jada for enabling me to write this book with tears flowing down my face most of the time; hoping that you all will return home soon. To you, General Bo, I’m so sorry for your loved ones that you lost—your baby daughter, Mika, and her mom, Mimi, who passed away in a fatal car accident. Your family is present with the Lord. I would also like to thank the following business establishment for their support: Cuttin Up/Dub and Company.

Also, thanks to my son and daughter, Briddle, and Poo for giving me such brilliant, beautiful, precious grandchildren to cherish: Diallo Ray Breaux Jackson, Bentley Lackey, Jar’Natae Famous Gordon, and Aaliyah Divine Gordon, as extensions of my offspring.

Special thanks to Sister Evangelist Pamela Jordan and her ministry Jesus Loves His People in Berkeley Ca, for all the support and ministering to my sons and my nephew, and guiding my family and me to our Father’s house. Bless you. (Psalms 86:1-5)

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I was always helping others, including people I barely knew. I prayed for guidance and I told myself, If you believe in God, if you truly have faith, you need it now. I knew that’s why I received my blessings from God. Several family members suggested that I sell my house; with the money from the sale, I could rent a small place for my faithful Lex and me. But I had been living in my house so long that I couldn’t imagine moving out. I had worked so hard and gone through so much—to give it up now was unthinkable. The house held some happy memories as well as some sad ones, but I couldn’t make myself part with it at the time. You have two sons and a nephew in prison. You have to maintain a quality of life for yourself, and everybody depends on you. Thankfully, my two sisters, my brother in law, and my nephew gave me a peace of mind so I carried less stress on my heart. With that said, I’m forever grateful for you all; and I will always love you. You all are truly my earth angels. God bless you.

SUPERNATURAL

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Attention Readers:

You may have recognized throughout the entire book, I frequently acknowledge God/ Jesus Christ who walked as God and who was God in the flesh. I take no credit for my life; nor do I take any glory for this memoir/ my life story… . It was all preordained and permitted by the inevitable will of God… . A destiny beset upon me in order to save other lives and ultimately other souls. Some people will say, whoa! this is costly for a paperback book, it better be good. I’ve invested over $3000 to bring this project to fruition. Moreover, I’ve spent the last six in a half years adding the finishing touches so I can give the world what they’ve been waiting for. With that said, especially to the people who know and love these dynamic men. However, this is more than a book, it’s a movement. The gentlemen who the book is based on were loved by many and hated by plenty, but legends nonetheless. Many are called, but few are chosen: My family was chosen… . Up, up, and away!

Nothing But Time

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24 hours a day confined to this tiny space.

5 steps from wall to wall. I count them as I pace.

In the land of the free home taken from the Braves.

No jobs, continues to lead to a heightened crime rate.

Because its 3 strikes your out, in America’s favorite game.

Whether Black, White, Hispanic… . You’ll fill a cell just the same.

Where lives are traded for currency, a California Dream.

Deserted and alone, feeling empty inside.

They said they would always be there oh how good they lied.

Here days turn to months, and months turn to years

As life slowly passes by eyes fill with tears.

24 hours a day confined to this tiny space

5 steps from wall to wall I count them as I pace because there’s

Nothing But Time . . . .

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PART I

JAM, BRIDDLE, AND COOTER

THE STORY

PROLOGUE

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Oh, God, God! I cried. Why did this have to happen? Why? Why? Why? Dear God, Jesus, I’d rather see them in heaven with you, than see them go through this living hell in bondage. I just can’t stand it; I can’t stand it, God! My voice shook with grief as I prayed. I got up from my knees with the recurring thoughts, No system can tell me what my children are worth. The twins are all I’ve got, next to their sister and my grandbabies. I don’t care what crimes they have been allegedly charged with through the judicial courts. They’re mine, and I’m going to do all I can to help them, so help me God!

My sole happiness lay in seeing my children happy. I am a woman who has spent a great many years raising my three children, working from sun-up to sundown, two jobs and never spending any money on myself. I am always caring for others and spending my hard-earned money on my children. I love them just as much as any other mother could love her children. This book was the hardest thing for me to write. I lost myself, when my two beloved sons, and their first cousin lost their freedom. I want to dedicate this book to them: Jam, Briddle, and Cooter.

What made three young men cross the line of no return? Was it a curse? Some people would say, Is this a generational curse? This story is about three young men in different cities, venturing down the same path, eventually receiving many years in the California State Penitentiary. All three carry the same last name, Patterson, and although they were brought up in the church, all three truly found God at last; when He demanded their undivided attention behind prison walls.

They learned to have faith that only God could open the doors of freedom, giving them a second chance at life. They prayed for a new beginning, seeking an appeal to reduce their time. The three young men have different stories, but the same plight. Jam, Briddle, Cooter and their comrades, Little George, C.J., Demoin, Big Ant, Poppadae, P-shay, Pee-Wee, Ron and Mims.

I asked myself Is it too late?

I, a loving mother, stricken with ill health, who witnessed her oldest son being sentenced to many years for an alleged attempted murder, although he did not kill anyone, 74 years were added to his sentence for enhancements. I went back into my children’s lives, trying to find some answers, using hundreds of letters and past incidents that would shed some light on their poor choices. Could it have been only that they wanted to live the ghetto-fabulous life of luxurious cars, expensive jewelry, clothes, alcohol, women, and drugs? It was almost like opening a Pandora’s Box. Did I really want to know the whys? I began to dig deep-down into their past, searching for the answer to what drove them to that point.

I made a vow to keep the memory of my twin sons and nephew alive, in hope that no one would ever forget them. That’s why I am telling their stories through this book.

Briddle is a bright, intelligent artist, with a promising career in the rap music industry. He’s a ladies’ man and loving father who missed the chance of watching his daughters, Pootie Girl and Patty Cakez, grow up. His life lay in the hands of the Lord, and he eventually turned his life over to Christ, after making the mistake of committing robbery at a restaurant. He had to be smoked out of a gas station restroom, with the news media there to capture all the gory details on local television.

*     *     *

Cooter knew that even though he was innocent, the judicial system wouldn’t vindicate him. A white man was killed in an all-white town. They wanted Cooter to tell what happened, and he wouldn’t. He was sentenced to double life because he wouldn’t rat on the two men who committed the crime. One of the three defendants that Cooter knew testified on his behalf to exonerate him. However, it was to no avail; his case should have been overturned. The co-defendant received six years for telling what he knew about the murder. Cooter was with two people he didn’t know. They did something he didn’t know about—a bad drug deal gone wrong. It was alleged that he took part in the murder.

Cooter had turned his life around, stopped running the streets; he was working, coaching Little League baseball, and just got mixed up with the wrong crowd. He has a beautiful family. His situation would be easier to deal with if he was in prison for something he’d actually done. He is innocent! Cooter is now studying for the ministry, while waiting for his appeal. God bless you, Cooter.

CHAPTER I

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A MOTHER’S EARLY LIFE

I grew up in the East Bay, northern California. I married Charles, a.k.a. Big Jam. Poo and I resided with his mom in East Bay until he came out of the Armed Services. I loved all of Big Jam’s family because they always treated me like a sister. We had our ups and downs, but I felt as though I was part of the Patterson clan. We started off with a very loving relationship. We had a very good life: a nice apartment, a new car, dressed in the nicest clothes, and had a wonderful family. I’m sorry to say that it didn’t last very long. Our marriage started to fall apart.

OUR PRECIOUS MEMORIES

I made a doctor’s appointment and went in for a physical examination. Afterwards, I received a phone call I will never forget. The doctor asked for me by name and I replied, This is Nyoatha. She said, Mrs. Patterson I am calling you back about the results of your physical. For some reason, I was worried that I had cancer, so I was hoping she wouldn’t tell me that. I was afraid that I would meet my end with that fatal disease, partly because I was a chain smoker. At times, I smoked two packs of cigarettes a day.

So when the doctor told me I was pregnant, I thought it was a mistake. I wasn’t using birth control or protection because I didn’t think I could have any more children. I always felt that I was a slow breeder. I had been pregnant only one other time in my life and never had I miscarried. My daughter was an only child for five years, so I was amazed that I could become pregnant again. So if this were true, I had to get prepared! I told Big Jam what the doctor said. He was surprised. He replied with a chuckle, What are we going to do with another baby? When I began telling my family and friends, they said to Poo, You are going to have a brother or a sister, aren’t you? Poo looked confused. Her eyes were wide with her mouth open. The first thing she asked was, Am I still going to get a lot of stuff?

We told her, Yes, nothing will change.

Poo was like that. I always believed that she had been born to the wrong class of parents. She should have been born into a wealthy family because that’s the kind of lifestyle she desired to live. She told me she was going to be a star. so she didn’t want a new baby coming in and messing up her lifestyle. When I was three months pregnant, I had another doctor’s appointment, and my doctor told me that everything looked good. She asked me if I was still smoking, and I replied, Yes, I am. She told me to stop smoking right away, just like that. It’s not good for the baby or for you.

I stopped smoking immediately. It was hard, but I thought about the genuine concern on the doctor’s face, and I knew she had my best interest at heart as well as for my twins. I started eating a lot of pickles, peanut butter, Argo starch and sardines with mustard. I loved them! I offered some to Poo, but she refused, saying, That’s nasty! I want a snow-cone. I chopped up ice, poured orange soda over it, and she called it a snow-cone.

It was 1977 and I was close to seven months. The doctor wanted to run a test on me because the baby appeared to be too large.

However, when the time came for the exam, my primary doctor was on vacation. So I saw another physician. My belly was distended to the point where I could hardly see my feet; everyone who saw me thought I was already nine months pregnant. As I was waiting to be seen inside the waiting room, my water broke. And then the doctor instructed me to buy a small bottle of castor oil and drink the entire bottle. He cautioned me to stay close to home after I drink it. He said, You might have to be rushed to the hospital. Then he asked, What are your husband’s work hours? Can he drive you? I said, He goes to work at seven in the evening and gets off at three in the morning. I planned to drink the castor oil at about one o’clock in the morning, thinking it would give me three hours to go into labor. It went like clockwork. Big Jam came right home after work, and we waited a while before he took me to the hospital. I arrived about three-thirty or four in the morning. I was in labor for about three and a half hours.

I was in so much pain I thought I was going to die. I felt ripped apart inside. I screamed and didn’t remember having that kind of pain while giving birth to my daughter. As I was in labor, I began to wonder, When is this baby going to come? It was as if the baby didn’t want to be born.

My nurse said, Now, PUSH!

I began to push and use the breathing technique I’d learned.

I didn’t know I was having twins until I went into labor, when the nurse said, OK, the baby is coming. Stay calm and push.

The pain stopped for a second, but I was still having contractions. I heard the attending doctor say, Wait a minute, we’re not done. I believe there is another baby.

He informed his nurse that I wasn’t his patient. So this is why he weren’t aware that I was having twins.

Half an hour later, I gave birth to my second son. My stomach felt as if it had collapsed. All the pain was over, just like that. Right after the delivery, the nurse presented me with my two sons, one in each arm! I loved my sons at first sight. I was amazed and overjoyed. It was all worth it.

I gave birth to twin boys whom we named Charles and Jarvis. Jam looked just like his dad. He had dark-brown hair, and a light complexion. Briddle, I thought, also favored his dad, but he also had some of my features. He had sandy hair and was red-boned.

They were a joy in all of our lives, as Poo was happy too.

I noticed that poor little Briddle had two heel-shaped bruises on his forehead. They resembled cow—licks. The doctor explained that in the course of being lodged in the birth canal, Jam’s heels were pushing on Briddle’s forehead, helping Jam to come into the world. It was also why it took Briddle another half an hour to be born. Jam’s heels pushed him back deeper into my birth canal. They were two months early and they stayed in the infants’ ICU for two weeks. Jam was the smaller baby, but had fewer health problems. Jam remained in the ICU, while Briddle had to be airlifted to Oakland Children’s Hospital.

He had an undeveloped cleft palate, and could not swallow formula without choking; he was very small. After two weeks, we brought them home. Friends and family came over to welcome them and to bring gifts. They had two of everything. I felt like a celebrity! Big Jam and I were really proud parents. Even Poo would help with the twins and would often express, I love my brothers.

We weren’t expecting two babies, but gratefully we didn’t have to buy them anything for the first year. We had two baby showers, one for each baby. We had a good life; we really were happy. Big Jam seemed as if he’d finally watched his ship come in—he had two sons. Sometimes when I think about how our lives turned out, I realized we had our joy and happy times when Jam and Briddle were born. We were truly blessed and highly favored.

I just knew that our marriage would improve after I gave Big Jam twin sons. If that didn’t make up for our failing marriage nothing would. The babies grew up fast and they were adorable! Jam and Briddle, would do things together. They dressed alike and people who knew them would inquire who was who. Though they had different characteristics people still mixed them up. The twins played tricks on the people who couldn’t tell them apart, and even did so with family members.

Jab was Jam and Briddle’s grandfather. He got to know his grandsons and he watched them grow. As he was ill he talked about the twins. It was almost as if, their grandfather predicted that something was going to go terribly wrong in their lives. Only we never saw it coming. He expressed, I’m worried about Jam, Briddle, and Little Man, their first cousin.

At this time, I was attending Contra Costa Community College. The twins were in kindergarten, I taught them the basic skills: writing their names, their ABCs, numbers, and their timetables. They were bright and quick learners. I had no idea that I was preparing these little boys to have the ability to communicate behind prison walls. The first red flags of their behavioral problems began when they were five years old. Both boys got suspended from school for fighting. One brother was helping the other. A child hit one twin and they both fought him. They were sent home for two days on suspension.

OUR MOVE, A HOUSE IS NOT A HOME

When my marriage finally ended in 1988, I was ready to move back to my hometown. By this time the twins were in junior high. They were constantly getting into fights or cutting class. Finally, the school called a meeting with me that resulted in one of the twins being removed from the school district.

What kept me going was the Bible and God. I began to reflect on how Jam would come to me while I prayed to God and he would say, Momma, why don’t you let your brother, Uncle Kool Hand move you away? However, the twins wanted to reside with their dad. They wanted only Poo and me to move. Eventually, I moved back to the East Bay. My brothers came and moved me back home, at my young sons’ suggestion. That’s when I began to live for God. He comforted me and brought me out of bondage, and gave me everlasting peace. I knew what God could do. I was a Certified Nurse’s Assistant and had been for several years. I was able to get a job very quickly. I lived with my mother and stepfather for three months or so. Later, I moved in with my younger sister, Kim, and her two children. It was crowded in her two-bedroom apartment. We managed for as long as we could. Finally, I got my own place, a two-bedroom duplex in the East Bay. It was a relief, for I had moved around so much. We didn’t have any furniture except the boys’ bunk beds. The boys were reluctant because their friends would tease them. So they would not bring anyone home. They would go to their friends’ houses, instead.

They were accustomed to living in a nicely furnished apartment. They liked having nice things, just the way Poo did. We had always lived very well. The children never wanted for anything. Now, our living arrangements were totally different. They were a lot less luxurious and comfortable. However, it became progressively better. I purchased our first thirty-one-inch color television, thinking that it would keep the boys at home more. The excitement of having a color television pacified Jam and Briddle for a month or so. They lost interest in their home entertainment. They reverted to running with their friends. I also purchased a VCR, but the boys continued to wander off at every opportunity. It was extremely difficult for me to work the late hours, and supervise two juveniles who would take liberty to come and go as they please. They did this to please their friends and fit in with their social crowd.

I recall one evening someone phoned me, stating that a lady had stabbed one of my sons. I didn’t find out which son it was until Poo and I arrived at the hospital, and saw that it was Briddle. We learned he was not as seriously injured as we initially thought, but Briddle did require stitches. He came home with my daughter and me, promising us that he would stay in the house; at least for two days until his wound healed. He asked God why this had happened to him. I replied, God didn’t do it, it’s the company that you keep.

He was only thirteen and a half years old. Prior to his wounds healing, he had gone back to the Lo (the local projects) again. I did not give up on my son. We wondered where Jam was throughout all of the chaos. Had he gone to find out what happened and why the lady stabbed Briddle? We got no answers then. Later, it turned out that as we were approaching the hospital, Jam was right there with Briddle all the time. He was perched in a tree and watched everything that went on. No one had taken notice.

I grew up in the Lo, and now it was even more so dangerous for my boys. It wasn’t a good place to raise a family. There was drug dealing, fighting, and gunshots ringing throughout the projects on an hourly basis.

In 1989, I got a better job as a clerk in a large supermarket. It changed our lives in a positive way. The good part was that I was able to secure a nice apartment and buy furniture, and bring my sons into a better environment. However, the not-so-good aspect was that even though our apartment was close to my job, my work shift was moved up later into the evening, from three to ten at night. Thus, my children became latchkey kids. I could not control their whereabouts and actions. My daughter did the best she could, but the twins didn’t listen to her. Now they were out of control as well as following the wrong crowd.

One night when I arrived home from work, a sheriff came to the house and stated, Your son has been seen throwing rocks at passing cars.

I got a citation, and that’s when I started appearing in juvenile court on their behalf. They began getting into trouble at age thirteen. This is why I’m grateful I had God in my life. He was always there with my family and me through every situation. I remember another time when I called the police to take Briddle to juvenile hall, because he was going through his rebellious teenage years. But the police said he hadn’t committed any crime so they couldn’t take him to juvenile hall. They never raised their hands against me, or cursed me, or directly disrespected me. God was always there. He protected us all from harm. He blessed them for me.

INTRODUCTION

YOUR HONOR

Te-Te Hancock

October 18, 2005

Attn: Honorable Judge

I’m writing this letter on behalf of a very dear friend, loved one, and companion,

Jam Patterson. I am aware of the fact that the trial has already concluded and I also have knowledge that you are in the stage of sentencing him. I wanted to be able to express to you what type of man you’re dealing with in addition to sharing with you the cause of some of his actions. So, if it’s not too much to ask, if I could just take a moment of your time, I would greatly appreciate it.

I established a long-term relationship with the inmate Mr. Patterson and was practically his common-law wife. I resided with him and his family throughout our entire relationship. The picture being depicted of him as an outlaw or menace to society is not the man I’ve known and loved. It wasn’t until he began using narcotics that things took a major turn for the worse. I do realize by me being a very spiritual person that even the Bible states you must—reap what you sow. I’m not questioning your authority nor am I saying you won’t use your better judgment. I’m simply saying, I honestly hope the punishment will be fitting of the alleged crime. He is a very loving, giving man, as well as having excellent leadership skills. He makes a strong, lasting impression on all who make his acquaintance. He has always looked out for his peers and abided by the street code since he grew up in the projects, becoming a victim of circumstance. Jam began going to juvenile facilities as an adolescent due to the fact that you weren’t supposed to tell on anybody; otherwise, you’d be labeled as a snitch for life and could possibly be killed for that. So he established a criminal record early on in life. Although he didn’t do the crime, he did do the time.

This followed him into adulthood, as you know it does, once your name enters into the system. Hypothetically speaking, you could spit on the ground the wrong way and you’d be sent off to jail. Jam and I took in a foster child who is my nephew. We took the infant in directly from the hospital and he cared for him as his own son. It wasn’t until 2003 that I noticed major changes in Jam. We relocated and he pursued a career in carpentry and joined the Union. Due to his background, it was difficult to obtain a job in this field.

That was around the time he started using Ecstasy or E-pills, as they refer to it on the streets, and also snorting lines of cocaine. This is when Jam’s character came into play. I guess he thought drugs could help him to deal with the reality of life at the time, and he went downhill from there. His reputation was so outrageous that a lot of the time people would just blame things on him because he was the best fall guy. I’m not saying all of this to portray him as an angel, but he definitely isn’t all that people are saying, either. He’s a family man who loves children greatly. I noticed the heavier he began using drugs, the less he’d come around me because he was ashamed of his conduct. His mother is a hard-working, honest woman. She has been on the job for fifteen years straight and brought him and his siblings up the best she could. He knows and loves God and was baptized at a young age. In any event, his mother recently suffered from a heart attack leaving all of us in a state of disbelief.

Respectfully Written,

Te-Te Hancock

CHAPTER II

Handcuff.jpg

THE SENTENCING

One of the saddest days of my life was Thursday, February 9, 2006. My baby boy Briddle had gone through his trial alone except for the times his girlfriend, Strawberry, accompanied him.

I woke up early that morning so that I could take a bath. After running my bath water, I decided to let it cool. About a quarter to eight that morning, I got a call from my cousin, Lu. She said, I’ll meet you at the courthouse. I had decided to go to the sentencing even though my oldest son, Jam, asked me not to come because of my health problems. I thought about it, and I suspected it would not go well. When I prayed to God, I felt that he wanted me to be there for support.

My daughter Poo, Jam’s ex-girlfriend Te-Te, and my grandson Lil’ D picked me up on the way to Jam’s sentencing, which was to start at nine o’clock. My heart was pounding, my stomach felt like someone had punched me hard, and my head was full of scary thoughts. We finally arrived at the courthouse. We couldn’t find a parking space. By this time, it was four minutes past nine, and I was growing more anxious by the minute. We drove along and finally found a parking space.

I got out of the car and started walking toward a large building. I asked, Lil’ D, is this the correct building?

He said that it was.

We walked through the court house entrance. Lil’ D pointed and said, It’s right through that door.

Inside was a black table with a flap in front of the entrance. I laid my purse down as well as a sandwich bag I had brought along with me, with a clean white towel that I was going to use in case my nose began to bleed again. I had been taking Coumadin, a blood thinner, so my blood would not form blood clots. Previously, I had a heart attack and my nose had been bleeding continuously for four