All for the Love of Nathan: A Mother's Journey with Her Brain-Injured Child

By Rebecca G. Freeman

Nathan suffered a brain injury at the hands of the doctor who delivered him. The family was told there was no hopehe would never eat nor drink, he would never walk nor talk, and he would die before he was seven.

Read his mothers thoughts as she finds out that her newborn baby has been hurt and that the injury was man-made.

Follow Nathan as he overcomes obstacles in his life.

Rejoice with him as he surpasses expectations.

Love him as he touches the hearts of many.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Feb 18, 2016
• ISBN: 9781512728262

Rebecca G. Freeman

Rebecca was President of Midwest Neurological Achievement Centers, Inc. and served as Co-Director of the Neurological Achievement Center in Indiana for five years. Later she served as Administrator of Friendship Christian Academy. Both of these ventures began as outlets needed for Nathan’s physical and educational advancements. It was All for the Love of Nathan.

Book preview

Prologue

This is a story of fear, faith and forgiveness.

Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) is the leading cause of death and disability in children and adults from one to forty-four. There are 2 million Traumatic Brain Injuries each year.

There is a Traumatic Brain Injury every fifteen seconds.

Someone becomes permanently disabled due to a head injury every five minutes.

70,000 - 90,000 of those who survive will have lifelong disabilities.

2,000 more will live in a persistent vegetative state.

An estimated 1.6 million to 3.8 million sports-related TBIs occur each year.

According to the United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, there are approximately 1.5 million people in the United States who suffer from a traumatic brain injury each year. Of these, 50,000 people die and 85,000 people suffer long-term disabilities.

In the United States, more than 5.3 million people, 2% of the population live with disabilities caused by TBI. The top three causes are: car accidents, firearms and falls. Motor vehicle crashes account for about 17% of traumatic brain injuries. With firearm injuries, nine out of ten people die. Brain injuries from falls account for 35% of the total.

Chapter 1

OUR BEGINNING

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

Genesis 2:24 NIV

It was just like a fairy tale, exclaimed my employer. He was describing our wedding. The day was beautiful and the weather perfect. This was especially important since we had planned an outdoor wedding. We were married in the backyard of the house that my mother and I had finished building only a year before.

It was a gorgeous fall day in late September. The trees were dressed in their colorful coats of leaves for the occasion. The sky was a light blue and the temperature was perfect. The wedding site was in the backyard beneath two big oak trees. There was a white arbor at the entrance of the bridal walkway with a beautiful bouquet of flowers on each side. The chairs sat in tidy rows with a center aisle. The grass was mowed and the barn had a brand new coat of red paint. My grandfather had given us part of his acreage. The back of his barn faced our property, so I had asked him to add white trim and finish it like the front of his barn. This proved to be a beautiful backdrop for pictures as the girls walked down the knoll on the south side of the house. The men walked from the front of the house on the east side and came down another small hill to the wedding site. The musicians performed from the deck of the house, which was a story above and overlooked the back yard. During the rehearsal the week before, the wind had caught the music and blown it down the ridge. But today, even the wind was cooperative.

I loved the outdoors and always dreamed of an outside wedding. A major deciding factor to having the wedding at home was because my mother was a single parent. I knew it would be difficult for her to bring the gifts home and pack away things after the wedding. This way, everything would already be on site and she would have less work to do after we left.

She was also making the wedding cake and it would be easier not to travel and set it up at another location. The cake had stairways on two sides leading to the main section of tiers. On the stairways were small figurines depicting the bridal party which led to the top tier with the kissing bride and groom. The cake and punch tables were set up in the lower level of the house and the gift table was set outside under a canopy of trees.

Steve and I had been in a Christian singing group, The Visionaires, for many years. The musicians were mutual friends who were from other groups. The lead singer later joined a professional group and began touring a little while after our wedding. I often teased him that we gave him his start at our wedding.

Steve came from a big family. His youngest sister was the attendant at our guest book and his three older sisters were servers. One of his nieces was a flower girl and his nephew was our ring bearer. Three older nieces took gifts as guests arrived. We made sure each family member had a special role in our wedding.

I am an only child. My parents divorced when I was five. My father, a minister, left us three weeks before my fifth birthday. I can remember his leaving vividly. I remember him packing his clothes and the trips to the car. I remember my mother weeping. I remember my confusion, and even though I didn’t understand exactly what was happening, I knew it was bad. I picked up the big family Bible and carried it to him as he was at the door. It was almost more than my four-year-old body could handle. I said Daddy, just read this. If you do, you won’t leave me and Mommy. I remember him turning toward my mother and saying You are a good wife and a good mother, I just don’t love you anymore. And then he left. The images of that night are forever scorched into my memory.

Maybe that is why I take marriage so seriously. If anyone started getting close in a relationship, it was at that point I always distanced myself and said goodbye. I never wanted to deal with that hurt again. I was afraid of commitment.

One night while we were dating, Steve stopped his car at an intersection but didn’t proceed through. He turned and asked me to look at him. He said I am not your father, and I will never leave you. At this point I broke down and allowed him into my heart.

His father was also a minister. In fact, he was my pastor for eighteen years. I admired Steve’s large family and longed to be a part of it. I loved to listen to his stories about returning home from a date during the holidays. He had to step over his sister and his nieces in sleeping bags to get to his bedroom. I wanted so much to belong to someone who cared. I thought if anything ever happened to Steve, at least I would still be a part of a big family. And I cherished the thought of becoming his wife.

While planning our wedding, I began to question the traditional vows. Where did they come from? Who wrote them? I searched Scripture and started making notes. I talked to Steve about taking our vows directly from Scripture. He liked the traditional vows. We agreed to have both.

One Sunday while we were in college we had an argument. He left to go back to campus before Sunday night services. When I took my hymnal out that evening at worship, there was a note tucked inside. Along with his apology were these words, which had been printed in our Sunday School literature that morning: Walk with me, run with me, cry with me. Show me, teach me, guide me. And I will give you me, my love, my all. I wanted this as part of our wedding vows.

We also included the Scripture from Ruth: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people and thy God my God. Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if aught but death part thee and me. Ruth 1:16-17 KJV. These words were how I truly felt.

I also researched the word love as well as marriage. In John 4:16-17 I found "God is love, and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. Herein is our love made perfect." KJV This Scripture concluded our vows.

That’s what I wanted—perfect love. And I knew it could only come from God.

Chapter 2

OUR FIRST HOME

But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

Joshua 24:15c KJV

We purchased a house in Stinesville, Indiana. We had been looking at houses during our engagement and realized that our schedules didn’t allow us enough time to do this together. I lived in Greene County, Steve’s family lived in Owen County, and he was going to school in Terre Haute. We were trying to locate near Bloomington. Since we were only together on weekends, Steve suggested that I go look at houses and find a few I liked. This would eliminate some of the viewings and he could see the prospects when he was home on the weekends.

When I found our house, it had been remodeled and had a new addition on the east end. There was a living room, kitchen, three bedrooms, two full baths, a laundry room, and a small room off the laundry. The living room was in the center of the house and the other rooms encircled it. There were no windows in the living room. It had a doorway on each wall—one led to the main hall, one to the master bedroom, one to the guest bathroom, and an eight-foot opening on the fourth side toward the kitchen.

The new addition included the master bedroom, which was larger than the living room, and had a sliding glass door to a deck which spanned the entire east side of the house. There was a huge walk-in closet attached to the bedroom. Swinging café doors led to a big bathroom with two walk-in closets spanning one end. There was new carpet throughout and we found the leftover cuttings in the bedroom closet.

The outside of the house had yellow siding with a brown roof. The north and west sides of the house had siding on the upper two-thirds, and the bottom third was prepared for stone. The large river rocks sat in a heap on the west side.

We discovered that the house had originally sat at the back of the property and had been moved to its present location at the end of Easton Street. I loved the name of the street, but it was actually just a gravel drive which ended at our property.

The house sat on the knoll of five acres and overlooked a pond. In the backyard were two magnificent oak trees which measured over twenty-five feet in circumference. An elementary school joined the west side of our property. There was an old cemetery on the land. This had been vandalized and the tall monuments and some gravestones were toppled. It was interesting to see the old carvings and imagine those who had lived in this small community before us.

I made arrangements for the realtor to meet us on a Friday evening when Steve was home. Unfortunately, the realtor never showed. Steve walked the property, fell in love with it and told me to buy the house. I told him he had not even seen inside. He said he didn’t care. He loved the land and pond and said for me to go ahead and make arrangements to purchase the place.

When we moved in we had a black velvet sofa with bright red and yellow flowers and green vines, which my grandmother had refinished years earlier. She also gave us a black recliner. I had a six-inch television set and a small bookcase to sit it on. Steve’s youngest sister said watching television at our house was like looking at a flashlight. I moved my white bed, dresser and chest into the master bedroom. That was the extent of our furniture.

A family acquaintance called soon after we returned from our honeymoon. She said she had a table, chairs and a hutch for sale. We went to her house and found that they were dark wood and matched our kitchen cabinets perfectly. The other two bedrooms sat empty, but we didn’t care. We were happy, in love, and looking forward to a bright future.

Stinesville is a small town in Monroe County located about forty-two miles from Indianapolis. It is known as the birthplace of the limestone industry. The community was named for the former landowner, Eusebius Stine. It had a population of less than 180 persons. Main Street is one block long, sits between two large hills, and at that time had a railroad track at the bottom where the two hills met. Near the railroad track was a beautiful three-story house which had once been a lively hotel. It is rumored that Jesse James stayed there. A general store and an automotive shop were on the east side of Main Street. On the west side were homes and a small community park.

The general store reminded me of Sam Drucker’s store on Petticoat Junction. It had wooden floors and smelled of history. This store also served as the town post office. And, of course, the storekeeper was also the postman. Everyone living in town was required to pick up their mail at the post office. Our property was inside the city limits, so this included us.

I had been working at Indiana University since graduating from high school, and was taking classes there. Steve graduated from Ivy Tech State College and was working for Thatcher Trucking in Coal City. He had interviewed with an architectural firm in Bloomington and was hired right before our wedding. He asked if he could begin his employment following our wedding and two-week honeymoon. The firm agreed. Returning from our honeymoon, the firm had lost a substantial contract and they withdrew their offer of employment. Steve continued working as a mechanic in Coal City. This was an hour’s drive away and we had only his car. Steve borrowed a vehicle from his Dad and I drove his car to work until I could find a ride. Steve often drove vehicles home from work, various cars and sometimes a truck. This arrangement allowed a rumor to circulate around the small town that there was a different man at my house every night.

After returning home from work, I unpacked boxes from our move. Steve would get home around 10:00 pm each night, covered in black coal dust. Soon another rumor circulated that I was living with a black man. After he showered and changed, we would have dinner and go to bed. We didn’t get to spend much time together because of our schedules.

Saturdays were spent doing household chores and lawn care. Sundays we were very busy with church. I played the piano, Steve opened service and led the congregation up to time for the preacher to speak. We both taught Sunday School classes and we were youth leaders in the evening. We felt we worked harder on Sundays than we did through the week. But soon we settled into a routine and began our wedded bliss.

Chapter 3

THE ACCIDENT

"My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;

Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience."

James 1:2-3 KJV

Four months after the wedding, Steve had a horrible accident at work. He called me in the late afternoon at the IU President’s Office and told me he had cut his hand at work and had driven to his parents. He wasn’t feeling well and asked me to pick him up. I inquired if he could wait until I got off work and he said it would be no problem.

When I arrived at his parents’ home, I found that the cut was much worse than he had stated. He had slipped on some ice while carrying a semi-truck motor. As he fell, his hand came down on the motor and he had practically severed his hand between his thumb and palm. The cut was deep and a drainage tube had been inserted with many stitches. The cut hit a major vein and spurted blood with