Grief and Hope: A True Story of God’s Sufficient Grace

By Angela R. Snowden

No one knows how much time they have left with their loved ones. Angie’s whole life changed in one moment. A horrific car accident took the lives of four people and nearly two more. She didn’t know the couple in the red truck, but in the maroon SUV were her mother, father, daughter, and niece. This story shares the trials and triumphs of a personal tragedy, one full of miracles and examples of the sufficient grace God provides to those who trust in Him. You are invited to join this journey of deep grief and continuous hope, a journey that reminds us all that regardless of our circumstances, God is good.

“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need” (Hebrews 4:16 NIV).

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Dec 10, 2021
• ISBN: 9781664250895

Angela R. Snowden

Angela (Angie) Snowden obtained a bachelor of science in special education from Oklahoma University and a master’s in guidance counseling from the University of Central Oklahoma. While her husband, Jonathan (retired lieutenant colonel USAF), was active duty, they moved approximately every three years, and Angie was a full-time mom doing part-time ministry. They now reside in Manhattan, Kansas, where Angie works with adult female survivors of sex trafficking at Homestead Ministries and teaches Bible studies at Westview Community Church. She and Jonathan enjoy spending time with their three adult children and traveling to see more of God’s beautiful world. GodsSufficientGrace.com

Book preview

Copyright © 2021 Angela R. Snowden.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

844-714-3454

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Cover Design by Renee Snowden

Author pic and professional family pic by Ali Corbett/ Souriant Designs

2 accident scene photos by Patricia Sweeney

all others property of Angela Snowden/ Author

ISBN: 978-1-6642-5088-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6642-5090-1 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-6642-5089-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021923960

WestBow Press rev. date: 12/10/2021

Scripture taken from the New King James Version® Copyright © 1982

by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations taken from The Holy Bible, New International

Version® NIV® Copyright © 1973 1978 1984 2011 by Biblica, Inc.

TM. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living

Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation.

Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, a Division of Tyndale

House Ministries, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Contents

Acknowledgments

Prologue

Chapter 1 A Devastating Discovery

Chapter 2 Long Days, Longer Nights

Chapter 3 Multiple Miracles

Chapter 4 The Journal Begins

Chapter 5 Road to Recovery

Chapter 6 Heartache and Healing

Chapter 7 Pressing On

Chapter 8 Trusting Him Daily

Chapter 9 One Last Goodbye

Chapter 10 Good Grief

Chapter 11 Eternal Hope

Chapter 12 Sufficient Grace

Afterword

About the Author

For the one whose world has been turned upside down by grief and who is grasping for hope. I pray this book encourages you and helps you experience God’s tangible, available, sufficient grace.

Acknowledgments

I owe everything to our marvelous God. Thank You for choosing me to be a part of this wonderful family, for Your promises of everlasting love, and especially for the sufficient grace You provide in our times of need.

To every person who stopped and helped save our girls. We can never repay you for what you did. May our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ bless each of you for the gift you gave us.

To the EMTs, medevac personnel, trauma team, and medical staff at Wesley Medical and Elaine’s physical therapist in Manhattan. Your skills and talents save lives, heal hurts, give chances, reduce the effects of injuries, and give hope to those injured. You are appreciated more than you will ever know.

To my husband, Jonathan. You are my rock, my safety net, my godly partner, my everything. Thank you for always supporting me in things I feel called to do. It is not always easy, but you are always on my side. I am so happy to share life’s journey with you. I will love you forever.

To my children. I love you all so much. Elaine, you amazed me the way you handled this tragic event. You are a superhero and will always be my walking miracle. Renee, you read my emotions so well and, like Memaw, really stepped up to help when I was emotionally exhausted and not quite together. Nathan, even as the youngest, you always took care of whatever you could help with and were always willing to do more, just like your Papaw.

To my family. Vicki, my other mom, thank you for patiently waiting to visit so you could help me through the toughest time and keep me from falling apart. Jenni, Jeff, Julie, and Jaci, you are the only ones who know exactly what we went through. Thank you for always keeping family a priority and for sharing your hearts for God through this tragedy.

To my two closest friends, Kim and Lora, my Bible study ladies, and my friends and family at Westview Community Church. You supported us, prayed with and for us, and provided more practical help than I could have imagined. Thank you for being the arms and feet of Christ.

To Christina. Thank you for your input and feedback. Your help in identifying problem areas and clarifying ideas made this a better book. Thank you for the hours you spent poring over the text and recognizing God’s part in this project.

To the team at WestBow. Thank you for believing in me and taking on my book. Your support in helping me prepare this book will undoubtedly help put my story in the hands of those needing some inspiration and encouragement.

Prologue

O n one hand, I had been telling myself, Just do what is needed to successfully get through this busy May. on the other, I was trying so hard to savor every single moment of my oldest child’s last weeks in high school. I knew this was an important time that I could never get back. I am thankful now that I was able to see the significance of these memories, not just with my graduating senior but also with my wonderful parents. It was a busy time with two graduations in two states, six days apart, but it was a whirlwind full of fun, precious moments.

My husband had to work that Tuesday while our three kids and I traveled to Wichita to meet my parents and nieces. I would entertain my youngest niece with my two younger children while my parents took their two newly graduated granddaughters to Branson for a celebration trip. We met for lunch—my parents, their five youngest grandchildren, and me. I felt content and really enjoyed being with them, another pleasant time with Mom and Dad that left me with strong, vivid memories. I had no idea that it would be the last time I would see them. Etched in my mind is a sense of thankfulness that Mom, who was sitting next to me at the table, was feeling so well. I looked at her hands and chuckled to myself. She loves her rings, but five is too many for me. I would soon receive a couple of those rings in a bag at a funeral home. That last moment before we went our separate ways, Daddy took my daughter’s suitcase, put it in his car, and then gave me one of his big hugs. Oh, how I miss those hugs.

Chapter 1

A DEVASTATING DISCOVERY

Have we trials and temptations?

Is there trouble anywhere?

We should never be discouraged.

Take it to the Lord in prayer.

—What a Friend We Have in Jesus by George Scriven

J une 4, 2016, began as a normal summer Saturday. My husband, Jonathan, and I, along with our two youngest children, Renee and Nathan, and our niece Jaci had slept in a bit since we didn’t need to leave until after lunch. Jonathan was off work and able to go with us this time. Our plan was simple; since we weren’t meeting at a mealtime, there was no reason to go out of our way to find a restaurant in Wichita. We planned to meet Mom, Dad, our oldest daughter, Elaine, and her cousin Julie at 3:30 p.m. somewhere near the intersection of Highways 77 and 400 in Kansas. We were driving south on Highway 77, and they were driving west on Highway 400. Whoever showed up first would find a convenient place to park where we could switch the luggage and swap Jaci (who had spent a few days with us) for Elaine (who had traveled to Branson with her cousin and grandparents). This was the day we were supposed to get everyone back home. I spoke with Mom at lunchtime. They were stopping at Subway for lunch about the same time we were heading out of town. I don’t remember what all we said. We were just confirming our plans. That was the last time I heard from them, the last time I heard my mother’s voice.

It had to have been between 2:50 and 2:55 when we stopped for a snack and restroom break at a gas station near the roundabout on the highway in Florence, Kansas. We were running a little behind, which wasn’t unusual for us. I had not been able to get in touch with Mom—not too surprising since we were out in the middle of nowhere. My daughter Renee was driving, trying to get more driving hours logged in preparation for her license. When we arrived at the intersection a little after 3:30, I had Renee pull into a parking lot to let me drive so we could look for a convenient place to meet up with my parents. It was a bit odd that Mom and Dad were late. They were almost never late and would let us know anytime they were going to be even a few minutes behind schedule. I headed east on Highway 400 and quickly found a gas station where we could wait. We waited.

After waiting a few more minutes, I called my sister. Hey, Jen, have you heard from Mom? I asked. We were supposed to meet at 3:30, but I haven’t been able to reach them.

They’re late? she questioned, immediately understanding the significance of my concern.

Maybe they are out of range, I responded. We are kind of out in the country.

Did you try Dad’s cell?

Yes.

I’ll see if I can reach Julie, Jenni told me. I’ll call you back.

OK, I said hesitantly.

We had already tried calling all four of their cell phones but had reached no one. When we tried to track Elaine’s phone, it said, Unable to locate.

At four o’clock, I started heading east on Highway 400.

I don’t know how far to go, I told Jonathan, but we can at least drive until we reach a major intersection.

We were carefully watching the passing cars, looking for my parent’s maroon SUV, and frequently checking with Jenni. A helicopter flew over us, but we thought nothing of it at that time. Jenni had been at her church (where Mom and Dad attended as well) preparing for vacation Bible school. Recognizing this situation was likely serious, she and her husband, Jeff, decided to leave Oklahoma City and head toward Wichita. I continued driving east. Less than a half hour later, we saw flashing lights ahead.

Please, God, no! I prayed when I saw the flashing lights in the distance ahead. Traffic was at a standstill, and it was going to be awhile before we got close enough to see anything. We continued to try calling all their cell phones, hoping they were simply stuck in traffic on the other side of the accident and didn’t have reception. I was as optimistic as I could be. It was possible that they were just unable to get past this accident since the entire road was blocked. But slowly the realization came that if we had phone reception, the cars backed up in the other direction likely did too.

Highway 400 is a two-lane, undivided highway, and all traffic was being turned around. With a significant number of semitrucks needing help turning, it took quite a while. Another twenty minutes or more passed before we got to where the state trooper was turning people around. It was a long twenty minutes full of wondering—and hoping. We couldn’t see the accident ahead. They had closed the road about a half mile away from the scene to divert traffic. When the trooper motioned for me to turn around, I rolled down my window.

My parents, daughter, and niece were supposed to meet us but didn’t show up. I need to make sure that they weren’t involved in that accident, I said.

He asked me basic information about the type of car, number of people, and so forth. Then he had me pull over and wait while he went to use his car radio. I don’t know how long this took. The time went by so slowly.

When he came back to the car, he said, We aren’t sure, ma’am. Could you come with me?

Do you want me to go? Jonathan asked.

No, I need to, I replied. You stay with the kids.

In retrospect, I do not know which would have been harder, going or waiting, but I had waited as long as I could handle. The trooper had me get in his car, and he drove closer to the accident.

It was around 5:00 p.m. now. My memories of this part are very clear, and the feelings were so strange. The trooper offered me a bottle of water. I remember that I felt thirstier than I had ever felt before, so I accepted the water. Then I waited some more; I don’t know how long. Everything was in slow motion. Inside the car, I was positioned where I couldn’t see much of the accident. When I got out of the car, there were six troopers walking toward me in a side-by-side line. It was a hot summer day, and I could see the haziness of heat waves rising from the road behind them, resembling a scene in a movie. Reality was pressing on me. I knew the situation was horrible. My first and only thought was Please let somebody be alive!

I couldn’t process beyond that. Behind the troopers was a damaged red pickup truck with the front completely crushed; in the wrong lane for their direction of travel was a tarped, discolored, and burnt SUV—my parents’ vehicle, the one my daughter and niece had also been in. A trooper explained that the girls had been life-flighted to Wichita. No one knew anything about their conditions. Hope arose.

What about my mom and dad? I asked.

With the shake of his head, he replied, I’m sorry. They didn’t make it. Grief sank in.

And those in the other vehicle?

They didn’t make it either.

What happened?

Your father went left of the center lane. The other driver didn’t have time to swerve. They hit head-on.

The news hit me hard, but I was not able to process it all at once. I needed to let Jonathan know what had happened, and I needed to find my daughter and niece. Jonathan was still with our two youngest children and another niece, half a mile away, where traffic was being diverted. While I was at the scene finding out the truth about this horrible accident, Jonathan waited with Renee, Nathan, and Jaci in the van, not knowing. He was standing outside our van and overheard one of the troopers yelling at a driver who was insisting he be allowed to pass through.

There are seven fatalities up the road! No one is going through! His voice escalated with irritation.

Jonathan’s heart sank. Grief sank in for him as it had for me. He could do the math, and he knew at that time that our daughter, niece, and my parents were gone. Elaine was gone! It was the first and only time Nathan saw his dad cry. We don’t know why the trooper had made that incorrect statement, perhaps just to shut the insistent driver up. In that moment, Jonathan had no choice but to wait. This moment would be pivotal to Jonathan’s future career.

Six people had been involved in the accident, four had died, and two had been life-flighted, and their fate was unknown. At the accident scene, I explained to the troopers that my husband was at the turnaround point and I needed to let him know what had happened. They told me Jonathan could drive the van up to where I was.

I called Jonathan, hating that I had to give him the horrible news that our family was involved in this accident, that Mom and Dad were gone, that our seventeen-year-old daughter and eighteen-year-old niece (both of whom had just graduated from high school the previous week) had been life-flighted from the scene, and no one at the scene had news of their condition. I had no idea what Jonathan had previously heard from that trooper. While I thought I was sharing devastating news, Jonathan was hearing something else. Hope. He loved my parents and was saddened to know they had lost their lives, but Elaine and Julie had survived the accident. There was hope that he had not lost his daughter. From then on, Jonathan would be able to look at each trial as hard but not scary. He had already had the scare of his life.

While Jonathan was pulling the van up to where I was with the troopers, I was giving them all the information they needed—names, birthdates, addresses, and so on.

I can’t see my parents, can I? I asked the trooper.

His reply was compassionate. You wouldn’t want to, ma’am.

I swallowed. I know now that I was in shock, but by the grace of God, I held it together and did what needed to be done. I remember the strange way those troopers all looked at me. Their trained eyes were gauging my responses, determining if they could continue, watching for signs that I wasn’t OK … but I was. Strangely, unexpectedly, surprisingly, I handled it all. I didn’t like it, but I was the only relative of my parents available and Elaine’s only mom. I had to do what needed to be done; there was no time to fall apart, no time to give in to emotions that I typically feel so easily and so strongly. That would come later.

Is there anyone that needs to be notified? I was asked.

Jenni. She and I had spoken frequently after Mom and Dad didn’t show up to meet Jonathan, the kids, and me; however, I had not spoken to her since the trooper brought me to the accident scene. Jenni had called earlier when I couldn’t answer, and she had called Jonathan when he was waiting at the turnaround point, before he knew what had happened. She knew it was bad; she just did. She and Jeff were already on their way.

My sister, I answered the trooper’s question.

I knew it would be better in person, but where was she? Right on cue, my phone rang; it was Jen.

Are you driving? I asked, knowing that she probably was. You need to pull over, I said.

Angie, just tell me, she replied.

Pull over, Jenni, I heard Jeff say.

And then I had to tell her what she already suspected about our parents and explain about our daughters. I still didn’t know Julie’s and Elaine’s conditions. I had to share that news with the only other person in the world who would feel as much weight from it as I did. Jenni, my only sibling, and I were both away from home, finding out we had just lost our parents and might even lose our girls. We had never had a lot in common, but at that moment, we had more in common with each other than anyone in the world.

There was nothing else I could do at the accident scene. I had given the troopers all the information I knew and made sure that I had names and contact numbers so I could follow up about my parents. It was so hard leaving Mom and Dad there, but there wasn’t anything I could do for them, and the pull I felt toward Elaine and Julie was too strong to delay. I needed to get to them.

Can I go now? I need to be with my daughter.

Of course, he replied. The troopers working the scene didn’t know to which hospitals the girls had been taken, but they knew they had been sent to Wichita. I was given a number to call for more information and was told they would be at