Web of Scandals: Scandalous Secrets, Scandalous Sex, and Scandalous Lies

By Latoya Johnson

Farrah was a cute little girl who strived for attention because her mother was a drug addict and her father was murdered in prison. She had friends but only one of them was real. The ugly, skinny geek from down the street named Malcolm. He wasn't all that to look at, but he loved Farrah and would do anything for her, including being her first. Farrah didn't want anyone to know she was his friend, let alone her sex partner. So when she all of a sudden gets pregnant, she disappears by moving down south with her aunt. Sixteen years later, she's a single mom with a teenage son, Damian. She finally finds love in a handsome doctor named Antwon Marshall. He is all that a woman desireslooks, body, and money. Antwon instantly falls in love and takes her to see his best friend, who is totally opposite of who he is. His best friend, MJ, is assistant pastor of Onelove Ministries and also a doctor in pediatrics. But when Antwon takes Farrah to meet his best friend, MJ, whose soon to be married to the lovely Jasmine, Farrah is haunted by love and dishonor. They all have secrets, but where does Damian fall into all this? He will be the one torn between what's real and what's all lies. He will be the damaged one growing up to betray the people he loves. Scandal after scandal seems to surround this group, and it seems to go on and on in years to come. But wait till you meet Harold.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jun 30, 2015
• ISBN: 9781504919630

Latoya Johnson

Latoya Johnson has always had a passion for writing since she was a little girl folding papers in half, writing short stories on them. She has a creative mind and is constantly creating new ideas in her upcoming books. A graduate of Fremont Ross High School, Latoya currently resides in Ohio with her husband and four children. She is currently working on several upcoming novels.

Book preview

Prologue

I was wet, sticky, and in so much pain. Covered in my own blood I knew I was not getting out of this. The bitch pretended to be my friend, but in the end, she stabs me in the back. Literally, that's how she started. My back; three times, then once in my chest. After that I struggled for my life knowing I was not supposed to be where I am. I couldn’t die here alone. Prison was not for me. I came up in here nice to everyone, trying to befriend every female up in here. I didn’t act hardcore and mean. I thought maybe if I was nice, they would be nice back. Wrong move, because I befriended the most two-faced bitch ever, Tameka B. She was a beauty and I knew if she was on the outside she could have any man in the world. Her personality was wonderful and she never came off as the tough type. You just knew not to fuck with Tameka B. She never came at me bad. She was there for me, protecting me and telling me all her secrets. She only did things a real friend would do.

I met Tameka when I got to work down in the offices. We were both pretty good women and had good privileges, so that has been our job these last couple of months. This time it was different with her. We were the only two cleaning and mopping the hallways of the visiting area. One minute we laughing and talking about our men back at home. I bend down to pick up some paper, she jumps on me. That’s when I first felt the knife go into my back.

What are you doing? I was out of breath, and struggling with Tameka B, trying to get the homemade shank out her hand. She didn’t respond, she continued struggling to keep the shank and stab me again.

Tameka please! I was crying, and trying my hardest to fight her back. Help!

No one could hear me because the CO that was in the room just told us that she was going to take a quick bathroom break. Tameka must’ve knew she was going to do this. I had no idea why she was hurting me. There was so much blood; I was losing and I could no longer fight her off of me. She finally got in another stab in my chest. Her face looked scared as I stared into her eyes. Something wasn’t right, and I could tell she didn’t want to do this. I just let go of her, and she sat on top of me holding the shank over me about ready to stab me again.

I’m sorry Farrah! She finally spoke. You won’t understand why I’m doing this. I will do anything for my family!

I was going in and out, but I could hear her. I wanted to answer her but no voice would come out.

Hey! What’s going on in here? I could finally hear the CO. What did you do, Meeka? Damn girl!

She got Tameka off of me and I could hear her call for help. More people came, and surrounded me and I had no idea what was going on, I just prayed to the Lord that he'd save me. I need to see my son. I was not ready to leave this earth. So much has gone on in my life. So many mistakes that I needed to fix. I was not ready to go, but that was not my call.

Chapter One

Two years earlier (Farah)

Dammit. I looked at the time, and for the third day in a row I was going to be late. I quickly removed the silk scarf off my head, and combed out my long wrapped hair. After applying a little mascara, and a thin coat of some off-brand lip gloss, I ran back into my bedroom looking for my white Nike Shocks. I had the messiest bedroom ever, and I didn’t know where to begin. I just started to throw around clothes, shoes, and whatever else that was lying around. After cursing out every freakin’ clothing I laid my eyes on, I finally spotted them by my nightstand underneath my bathrobe. Now I remember putting them there Friday.

Uugghh, I really need to clean up this messy room. I then looked over at my queen size bed that held the atomic dogg who was lying across it. I walked around the bed to the side he was sleeping on, and I slapped him hard across the face.

Wake up Quan! I yelled.

He turned over, and grabbed the sheet, pulling it over his head. Come on girl! Let me sleep! He was grumpy, and I didn’t care.

You have to go before Dame gets home.

Quan turned over. You always tryna keep a secret from him. You his mama. Tell his young ass, Imma be his new daddy. His ass should be in school anyway.

Come on Quan. I’m serious. Dame doesn’t like you, and I don’t want to hear his mouth. Just get up and go.

Quan sighed loudly. Alright! Damn woman! What time he pose to be home?

My aunt dropping him off at 9:00.

I’ll be gone before he gets here.

You said that before and you weren’t gone.

I promise this time. I’ll be gone.

I looked over at the clock and it was ten till seven. The hospital was fifteen minutes away. I was already late.

Fine! I gave in. Be out at eight, and I’m serious.

I will. I promise.

I grabbed my coat and my purse. I then tried to make a dash for the door with my keys in my hand. Before I put my hand on the door knob, Quan yelled my name. I ran back into my room to see what he wanted. Quan was my weakness and he knew it. Many people wonder why I was so into a man who couldn’t even buy his own meal, but I was. I wasn’t in love, but I couldn’t keep myself away from him. Maybe it was the sex, because that man made my toes curl every time.

What? I really gotta go!

Baby? He gave me that sad puppy dog face that showed all his sexy features. What about my goodbye kiss?

I really need to go. I rolled my eyes with my hand on my hip faking an attitude."

You lookin’ all sexy going to work with your hair all down. You know I like it when you let that pretty hair flow. It gets me so horny baby.

I don’t have time for your horniness. I just started this job and I’m already a bad employee.

You’re a good nurse baby. I’m so proud of you.

I wish I could say the same about your lazy ass.

Quan gave me that infamous smile of his, again. That always got me.

Come here. You wasting time standing there. I want my kiss. He held his arms up.

I quickly walked over and gave him a kiss. He was very slick when he pulled me onto the bed.

Not now! I playfully slapped him. I said I have to go!

He kissed me again. So! You already late.

They going to fire me and my aunt will kill me. She put me through nursing school, and it finally paid off. Let me go.

Fine. He let go of me. You owe me that ass later.

He slapped it before I ran out the bedroom, and finally out the door. I glanced at my watch again, and I swear I wanted to cry. I hope Sandy has my back like she always do. After all I went through; I couldn’t afford to lose this job.

Chapter Two

(Farah)

I snuck in real easily, putting my things away in my locker. I left the staff room, walking by room 302. Then I thought of something, and slightly took three steps backward until I was standing in front of the door. On the side of the door, was a clipboard. I grabbed that and kept it moving. I had to pretend I was away working and busy, just in case I ran into Miss Marissa. Sandy spotted me walking toward the nurse station. She quickly rushes over to me.

Why are you always so late? She hissed. I told Marissa you were in room 314. You better hope she didn’t go by there checking up on you. You know how sneaky she can get.

Did you clock me in? I asked, not caring about what she said about sneaky ass Marissa.

Yes! Sandy rolled her eyes. I promise you, I’m not doing this anymore. I can’t afford to lose my job. I am three months pregnant.

Nobody told your ass to get pregnant.

Whatever! I’m married and I can keep getting pregnant.

Okay, so when you’re in the nuthouse after having so many damn kids, don’t you call me. I joked around with her. She was so happy she was finally pregnant. Her and her husband Lenny has been trying since last year. Sandy will probably get pregnant again right after she delivers this baby.

So why are you late, smartass? Did Quan keep you up?

No! I quickly replied.

Liar. You still with his broke ass, huh?

No, we broke up last week. I lied. She was always on me about being with Quan. Quan was nice, but nice didn’t pay my bills.

Seriously?

Yes, I’m done with Quan.

Good. I’m so tired of you messing around with those thugs. You need a real man like Dr. Marshall.

Dr. Marshall’s sexy ass is not thinking of me.

Humph! You’re all he thinks about. I can see it when he passes you.

Yea, uh huh! I rolled my eyes at her. How I wish that was true.

Just then Marissa’s fat ass turns the corner and was marching toward our way. She was the head nurse and was getting on my nerves with all her attitude. Even the way she walked said attitude. Her walk was slow, and had a little sass in it. It look so stank and her big ass sloppy booty look like a rumbling washing machine when she walked. She really thought she was sexy. Who put that bullshit in her head?

Marissa finally made it to me, and she looked me up and down. She was jealous of me and I loved that she envied me.

Tiffany clocked out late because she didn’t see you. She pursed her lips up. You know you have to report to this here desk over there, so the third shift nurse can go home.

I’m sorry Marissa, but when I passed by 302 Mr. Phil was calling for me.

302? She questioned. Sandy said you were in room 314.

I was there for a quick second, but Mr. Phil had my full attention. Tell Tiffany I’m so sorry, but you know I have to tend to the patients first. I was talking that I’m so sweet and innocent bullshit.

Marissa studied my face for a second, looking for my expression. She finally rolled her eyes and sighed.

Go to room 319 and check Irene Brown’s IV. Marissa demanded.

But that’s not my room. I quickly replied, knowing Marissa was trying to change my rooms."

Well Dana came on time, and I gave her your rooms. She was smirking at me like she just knew she pissed me off. I was actually mad because Dana had the left side of the ward which she had six patients. I was assigned the opposite side that only had five. One extra patient to take care of made a helluva difference, and I didn’t like it. I sure wasn’t going to let Marissa know I was beyond mad.

I handed Sandy the clipboard I had grabbed earlier. I then looked back at Marissa. Whatever you say Queen Rissa.

I walked away bad mouthing her sloppy looking ass. She hates me because she wants to be me. I looked back to see if she was still watching me. Yes, she was watching me so I put a little umph in my hips and really gave her something to be jealous about. I bet she was wishing for my body right now.

I got to Mrs. Irene Brown’s room, and grabbed her clipboard. I then walked into her room, looking down reading her chart. Poor Mrs. Brown, a sixty-four year old woman who was beaten and robbed in her own home. The police have been around the last couple of days questioning the poor old woman, who couldn’t even see out of her right eye. Whoever did this to her beat her eye swollen shut. I wish I could find them and beat their ass. There are some cruel, nasty people in the world and I just hate them.

Good morning Mrs. Brown. I announced in my cheery voice. How are you feeling today?

Mrs. Brown looked away from the news station on the TV, and stared at me with her one good eye. It took a whole two minutes for her to say a word. My mouth is very dry. She replied in a very low voice.

Alright. I walked over to get her a cup of water, and put the straw into it. Here sip on some water.

I held the cup of water with the straw into it, up to Mrs. Brown’s mouth. She took a very long sip then decided to breath. Then she took another small one. She nodded her head to let me know that was enough. I set the cup and the clipboard down on the small table tray near her.

I’m going to change your IV and take your blood pressure. I told her.

She nodded her head, letting me know that was okay. I walked over to the left side of her, and I noticed her left good eye following me. She tried to smile at me, but the way them thieves messed her face up it was hard to say if she was really smiling at me. I could tell it was very painful for her. While I removed the IV bag her head turned up at me.

Are you married? Mrs. Brown asked me.

No ma’am I’m not.

You’re a beautiful woman. I’m surprised.

I smiled. Thank you.

You seem like a good nurse too. Your parent’s should be very proud of you.

My smile turned into a frown. I appreciate the comment, but….how I wish my parents were here.

Why do you say that?

My aunt raised me since I was fourteen years old. Before then I was practically on my own.

Poor chile. Mrs. Irene Brown seem to feel bad for me.

But I been doing fine since. My aunt Ronica raised me well.

Well I bet she’s proud of you.

I finished Mrs. Brown IV and then took her blood pressure.

So Mrs. Brown, are you ready for breakfast?

Just pour me a little more water and set it back on that tray.

Are you going to eat later?

In about a couple more hours. I don’t eat this early.

Okay. I poured Mrs. Brown more water, and then grabbed the clipboard. Just push the call button if you need anything. My name is Farrah and I’ll be your nurse today.

Thank you very much.

I walked away from her bed, and out the room closing the door behind myself. I stood next to Mrs. Brown room and I started to think about what she said. I haven’t spoken to my mom since I left New York fourteen and pregnant. Actually six months before I left New York, my mom left me. She never called, nor did she come home. It hurts because I don’t even know if she’s alive. No one helped me look for my mom, because people always told me she’d come back home. She was a known crack addict so it was common for my mom to be gone for days. But in my case, it was nearly six months and I couldn’t wait any longer, especially after getting pregnant. Who was going to help me? So, I left New York and came here to Atlanta, Georgia.

I was an only child and life was so hard for me. My father got locked up in prison for life when I was only ten years old. They say my father murdered two men and a lady at this club one night. Rumor was, my mother was messing with one of the guys my father killed. My father was a police officer, and used it to his advantage. He confronted the guy who was already with another man and a young lady. The guy tried fighting my father; after my father made up this bogus story about arresting him. Things got out of hand, and my father pulled his gun out. The other man tried taking the gun, but didn’t succeed. Dad killed him point blank. He then pointed the gun at the man that was so-called messing around with my mother. The woman that jumped in front of him was his wife and he killed her, shooting the rest of his rounds into her and the man. That’s the story the police were saying. Now the streets had another story. The three of them were coming out the club drunk and getting into a car. The so called man that was messing with my mom was arguing with his wife, it got nasty and he was hitting on her. My dad knew of the guy and heard the rumors that he was messing with mama, but he didn’t intently go up to them and kill everyone. My dad tried to calm the man down from fighting his wife. The man was so drunk that he began fighting and wrestling with my father, and he had a hold of my father’s gun that he took out of his holster. He shot his wife, and then dropped the gun because he then couldn’t believe he did it. My dad then retrieved his gun, and killed the man instantly, but then the other man came out of nowhere charging at my dad, and he killed him. But the police didn’t believe my father’s story because rumor was already out about my mother messing around with that guy, and they felt he was getting revenge. I believe my father and stuck by his side the entire time. Well, up until a year after serving his sentence, my father died of a sudden heart attack. He never had any heart problems and was the healthiest man ever. I always told myself his heart failed from all the stress that began to pile up in his life.

Ever since, my mother lost it. She already hated herself for being in the middle of it all. She blamed herself, and became depressed. She started experimenting on all types of drugs, but when she found crack, she forgot all about me. I was no longer her first love. Her father left her and my Aunt Ronica this huge five bedroom house. Aunt Ronica lived in Georgia so we lived in the huge home that was already paid for. I’ve always had a home to live in. But soon, two months after mama left me, so did the electric, water, and heat. Food was long gone! I usually would eat at my neighbor’s home Mrs. Willard who was seventy-two years old and never had a clue what was going on. Her kids then puts her in a nursing home, and I was starving practically every day. I would steal food, go sleep over at friend’s house’s just to eat a good meal, and sometimes dig in the garbage at restaurants. Then, when I met my best friend Malcolm, I was never starving. He only lived a couple houses down, and I can’t believe I never noticed him before. He was my one good friend that stuck with me through thick and thin. Malcolm Jamison was a loser, nerd, geek, so unpopular, not cool at all. That’s probably why I never realized him from down the street, until one day I seen him and his brother walking into the house. I was sitting on my porch, and I could have sworn Malcom looked at me with sympathy. Well, I used that look to my advantage and walked down there one evening. I was starving like crazy, and cold. His mother was a great cook, and I grew to love that woman. Malcolm didn’t have a dad neither. His mom worked like two jobs, and spoiled Malcolm and his brother rotten. His brother was a bad seed though, always getting into so much trouble and he loved the fact that he was bad. Malcolm always thought he would hurt me so he protected me, and I loved that attention.

Malcolm was picked on by everyone, but somehow he became my very best friend. He’d buy me groceries and clothes with his allowance. He started to have me looking good again. His mother let him do practically anything with his father’s social security checks, and he choose to spend it on me. Malcolm was cool with me, but I always made one thing clear. He was not to talk to me at school, and his stupid ass listened. He’d put his head down when he see me with my friends. I didn’t want anyone to know I associated with the geek. I would even be mean to him like the other kids would, just so I be considered popular. No matter how bad I treated him, he still worshipped the ground I walked on. I usually stay the night at his house since his mom worked midnights and sometimes most the day just to live the luxurious life. His mother loved nice things and their house was laid out as if they were rich. Mrs. Jamison would consider me the daughter she never had, and never minded my company throughout the day. But before she left for work, I walk out the front door and soon as she was gone, I come right back in through the back. I was always there.

On one specific night my life changed forever. It was a Friday night, and Malcolm was begging me to go see some new movie with him. Of course I didn’t want anyone to see me with the four-eyed nerd who was tall and lanky for a fifteen year old kid. He couldn’t even dress nice. Although I never had money, between Malcolm’s money, and me stealing clothes and makeup, I looked too damn good to be seen with him. All the boys at school gave me attention, and tried hard to pop my cherry. I was stingy with my goodies, and no matter how fine the boy was I was playing hard to get.

Since I denied Malcolm’s date to the movies, I had to owe him a date in front of the TV. So we watched his favorite show, The Twilight Zone. I hated that shit. Malcolm would be all into it, and I was always first to fall asleep. That specific night was different. Malcolm’s attention seemed to be more on me, and I was too busy wondering what’s going on through that thick brain of his.

What’s going on Malcolm? I asked him. You look lost.

I was thinking.

You care to share your thoughts?

Well…. He trialed on.

All of a sudden, Malcolm’s black ass began to blush.

Damn boy! I yelled. Spit it out.

Okay….Are you a virgin?

Malcolm! That’s kind of personal.

I’m sorry. He then turned back to the TV. I felt pretty bad because he was looking pitiful. Well, I do consider Malcolm as my best friend. I guess I could share a little information with him.

Are you?

Malcolm looked back up at me. What?

I wanted to smack him for being so dumb. He just asked me the question and now he acting like he forgot.

A virgin! I yelled.

Well… He started.

I gasped and turned my entire body his way. He had my undivided attention now. Malcolm Jamieson! You did the booty before?

Uh…. well Farah, let me explain to you what had happened. We were in gym class and Sarah Mills took off her shirt to show everyone her new sports bra. Well, I kind of got a hard on when I looked. Big mouth Terry noticed and decided to embarrass me. I ran to the locker room crying. So after school, Sarah and Shameeka corners me in the alley. They both tell me I look hung.

Hung?

Yeah, big!

Big? I still didn’t get it.

Yes Farah! I have a big dick and they wanted to see it. I told them no. Big Shameeka ruffs me up and pulls down my pants.

You let her pull your pants down? I was still in shock.

Okay, that’s no excuse. Although she’s big, I could’ve pushed her off. I did try to stop her at first but next thing you know Sarah puts her mouth on it, and…

OHMIGOD! She sucked your thang!

Well….yeah.

I looked into Malcolm’s face. I was upset. So many different things flooded my mind. Did he have sex with her too? Do he like her? I don’t want Malcolm to like no one. Well, I’m an exception. He’s only supposed to like me.

Was that it? I was afraid to ask, but I had to know.

What do you mean, was that it?

Is that all she did?

Well, Shameeka did it too.

Eeeeewww Malcolm!

He looked embarrassed. It felt good.

So, was that all they did to you? Did you do something to them?

That’s all they did, and no I didn’t touch them.

I smiled. Good, then you’re still a virgin. Thank God.

You sure seem pretty happy about me being a virgin.

I’m not happy. I quickly defended myself. I’m a virgin too.

You are?

Why are you so surprised? I’m not no whore Malcolm.

I didn’t mean anything by that. Your just so beautiful, guys should be all over you.

Well, they are but I’m not an easy girl. You have to be special to get into my panties.

Well you’re special to me Farrah. Malcolm seem to inch a couple inches closer to me. His hand touched my thigh, and I jumped a little. That didn’t stop him from continuing to touch, so I let him rub down my thigh.

Do you want to see it? He asked me, but I quickly got offended.

Do you think that I’m going to do what Sarah and Shameeka did?

No. But…

But nothing! I’m not a whore like them Malcolm. Remember that!

No you’re not Farah. I like you. I didn’t like them girls, and I don’t like any other girl but you. You’re different.

You like me?

Yes. I really like you. I want…

I shut him up by kissing his lips. We both didn’t know how to kiss, but we kissed like crazy, and sloppy. Lots of tongue action and slobber involved. Mostly from Malcolm; but in a weird sort of way, I liked how he kissed me. That led into me taking off my pants. Malcolm then takes off his pants. That’s when I seen why Sarah and Shameekea attacked him.

Damn Malcom. David showed me his thang, but it was nowhere near that big. Is that normal?

I don’t know. We both sat there for a second staring at everything else but each other. Well do you still want to do it?

I took off my bra to show him I was still interested. Malcom just stared at me as if I was a beautiful painting.

I love everything about you Farrah. You’re pretty. His smile did not leave his face.

Thank you.

Now we were both butt naked. I was nervous, but I took the first move, by lying back on the sofa. Malcolm’s skinny ass got on top of me.

Wait! I panicked. Shouldn’t we use a rubber?

I’m a virgin. Why would I carry condoms with me?

What about your brother? Does he have condoms?

He’s not here, and he locks his room door.

I sighed. So now what?

I’ll be careful. It’s our first time so nothing will happen.

Ok…. I guess.

It took forever for Malcom to break my virginity. I was crying on the inside, trying not to show Malcolm that I was in pain.

Although I kept Malcom a secret, we would do it almost every day. Four months after our first time, I found out I was pregnant. I panicked and called my Aunt Ronnie in Georgia; told her that mama left me and I got myself pregnant. I was scared. Aunt Ronica was my mother’s only sibling. The good one, I would say. She didn’t hesitate when she sent for me, and I never looked back. I didn’t tell anyone I left. I practically just vanished off the face of the earth to Malcolm, his brother and their mother. Even if my mother came back, she sure didn’t come looking for me, and she knows where Aunt Ronnie live. Aunt Ronnie helped me raise Damien. She was there for me when I graduated high school. She was there when I went to college. She was even there when I dropped out of college to live the partying lifestyle. Aunt Ronnie then helped me on my feet, got me back in college, and I finally graduated. I just recently got this new job as a full time nurse at St. Vincent hospital. I’m still struggling like hell. It was only my first year as an RN nurse, and I was doing so terrible as far as money. Aunt Ronnie tells me I could live the glamorous life if I stopped partying, and dating fake ass thugs, who stay broke. I am trying. I really am, but it was hard to stay away from the life I lived.

Sandy was my only real friend. You know the type of real friend that has your back no matter what, the type of real friend that will tell you things to your face, and not behind your back, and the type of friend who tries to steer you in the right direction, and has a beautiful positive spirit. I love Sandy. BUT…I do have two other friends that I met before Sandy. You know, the type of friends who talk shit about me when I’m not around, the type of friends who gossips about everyone and everything, and the type of friends who will never have your back because they selfish and only have time for drama. Trinity and Daisha were more like my partying girls. Trinity had two children by two different men. Jeff’s serving time for robbery, and her other baby daddy D-Ray was cool, but he was much like Quan. They both were broke and couldn’t keep a job. My girl Trinity loved D-Ray and supported him with her stripping job. Now Daisha, she was above us; so she thinks. She comes from the projects. She thinks because she’s with some baller name Macho and they living over there in the high class neighborhood, that she that bitch now. But we all grew up together, so Daisha still hangs out with us. I just can’t stand her conceited ass. She just don’t know, Macho could’ve been my man first, but I rather have a broke ass legit man with no criminal back ground, rather than a dirty ass drug dealer who snitches his way out of things. But I love all my girls. Especially Sandy whom I met in college. I was her maid of honor two years ago when she married Lenny. Lenny loved Sandy a helluva lot. He worked in a local factory and took care of my girl. I love my friends. Besides Aunt Ronnie and Damien, they were my family.

Aunt Ronnie was always criticizing me about my life style. I am thirty years old, and she treats me as if I was her twelve year old daughter. I appreciate all she’s done for me but she is really getting on my nerves, and my fifteen year old son calls her mom as well. You might as well say he lives with her, because Dame is over her house more than he is at home. Aunt Ronica could never have children so she loves that he calls her mom. I hate it.

Farah! Farah!

I looked up from my clipboard and there was Sandy, staring right at me.

What’s wrong with you girl? Sandy was looking at me like I lost my mind. What are you looking at on that clipboard? Or shall I say what are you daydreaming about?

Oh…uh…nothing. I mean…yeah I was just daydreaming. I was stuttering.

About who? Dr. Marshall. She teased.

Saying Dr. Marshall’s name brought a slight chill across my skin in a good way. He was every woman’s dream. A big tall glass of water and every woman I know wanted to drink that!

Nah that was yesterday’s dream. I smiled thinking about how yesterday I was dreaming about his naked masculine body on top of my naked body, and we were making love surrounded by little tea lights. Oh my, my, my! I gushed in my panties instantly rethinking of that dream again. I turned my attention back to Sandy. And quit talking about Dr. Marshall. He just a chocolate fantasy.

Well, that chocolate fantasy of yours always checking out your booty.

Whatever! I am not his type. He’s tooooo….

Boogee? Sandy took the words right out of my mouth.

I laughed. Yeah! You know I like me a thug!

Get out of that gurl, because the ones you call thugs. They are not thugs! Them some broke ass wankstas. Quan don’t have no job, no money, still living at home with his mama. What the hell is wrong with you messing with assholes like that? You can get any man in the world and you choose Quan?

Quan may be broke Sandy, but other than that he’s a real gentlemen. He’s kind, loving, and sweet. Besides, I attract men like Quan, not Dr. Marshall.

I started walking to the nurse station with Sandy following close beside me.

So… Sandy started. Back to this daydream. Who were you dreaming about?

Just some old friend.

Who?

I sat down in the swivel chair, facing the computer as if I was really looking for something.

Aren’t you going to tell me? Sandy kept on bothering me.

No!

Fine. I’ll keep secrets too.

That got my attention, and I swung around in my chair towards her. Sandy, that’s not fair. You know I like gossip.

Well tell me this little secret dream of yours.

Maybe one day.

Damn Farah. She started to look up as if she was thinking. Do you have a secret lover?

I wish. I sighed. Then I thought, why not. This was Sandy, not my other two ratchet friends who’d blab my business on Facebook. Okay listen.

I looked around, hoping there were no listeners. No one knew the real story except me, and God. Malcom don’t even know the real story. I moved away from in front of the computer, and walked around in front of the nurse station.

I lied about Dame’s father. I told her in a whisper.

Lied? What’s there to lie about? You said he denied you and the baby, and then he disappeared.

I started to laugh thinking of the lie I made up one night when I was just a little tipsy. Girl, I was drunk when I made up that story.

Well who is he?

Ok, well you know I was fourteen when I got pregnant, right?

Yes.

I took a deep breath, and began to expose my secret. Sandy, I really liked Malcolm. I actually fell in love with him. I didn’t want my friends to know he got me pregnant. I didn’t even want them to know I befriended a nerd like Malcolm. He was such a geek. He was corny, skinny, big glasses, and not so good looking, but he was nice to me. That’s all that counted. Although he was young, he knew how to treat a girl. But when I found out I was pregnant, I called my aunt and moved here.

Damn Farah, that’s foul. I didn’t even know you had a past outside of Georgia. Where were you from?

Upstate New York.

So, this guy Malcolm doesn’t know he has a fifteen year old son out there somewhere.

My eyes started to tear up thinking of Malcolm, and how wrong I really did him. No.

Sandy gently took me into her arms, and gave me a hug. I quickly wiped away my tears, and pulled away from her embrace.

I’m good though.

Farah, no you’re not. I mean, what about Dame? What did you tell him?

I just told him some lame story about having a one night stand with some mystery man, and I didn’t know his name.

So, your son thinks his mother was a teenage slut?

No! Well, I was under pressure one day when he asked me. He don’t ask no more. I use to always think about finding Malcolm, but I’m afraid he will hate me. I ran my fingers through my hair and slightly turned away from Sandy. Oh well, he has me and Aunt Ronnie.

Dame needs a father. You got these fake thuggish ass bums around your son. He needs his father right now.

Malcolm could be thuggish! He probably followed his brothers footsteps or maybe even worse, and be in prison or something.

I highly doubt it. If he was a nerd, chances are he grew up to be a computer tech genius or something super smart.

Who knows, he’s….

My mouth couldn’t close. It practically fell to the ground. Sandy turned to see what I was looking at, and she bout fainted. We all wanted to do him. Dr. Marshall was one of the new doctors that started about three months ago. He was very young to be as successful as he was in his life doing life threatening surgeries. He was also working on many other projects, like trying to open up a clinic. He was thirty-three, and rumor was, he knew more than his teachers in college. Naturally smart! Humph, I like that. Antwon Marshall was his name. Tall, black, and handsome he was. Very muscular, great ass, long neat dreads that he kept pulled back. He was all that in a man. Oh, and did I mention single. Every nurse wanted to have sex with him. Even Marissa pranced her ugly, ghetto booty around him. He did his job though, and was not thinking about none of us women. He was a man who loved his job and took it seriously.

Dr. Marshall stopped right in front of us. Sandy and I listened to his conversation with the other nurse Julia who sat at the desk.

He handed her a folder. Please check these x-rays, and leave the report up here. I will be back to pick them up. Also, tell Marissa that George Davis will be my last surgery these last couple of weeks. I am going on vacation after that, so I have to be clear.

I sure will Dr. Marshall. The nurse spoke excitedly. Is there anything else?

Dr. Marshall looked at me and Sandy, and a smile appeared on his face. I was blushing, and I knew Sandy had to be too.

And Julia, please take Sandy with you. I need to talk to Farrah alone.

I was very light skinned. High yellow, red bone or what you want to call me, so my face was full of blush. I wonder what Dr. Marshall want with me. Was I in trouble or what? Sandy looked at me skeptical, and then she turned and followed Julia. I stood there shaking on the inside, but my posture showed much confidence. Dr. Marshall stepped forward, and grabbed another folder off the desk.

He then looked at me and smiled. Follow me Farah.

So I did, and I was scared until my eyes found its way on his sexy ass as he walked in front of me. A pair of expensive slacks never looked so damn good on a man. We got to his office, and he ushered me in. I sat in the chair in front of the desk, as he closed the door. He then walked around, and sat behind his desk. He set his folder down, and looked me in the eyes. Just looking at him moistened my panties. Quan never did that!

How’s your morning been going so far? He asked.

Good, I guess.

He slightly laughs. I guess? Beautiful woman like yourself should always have lovely days.

Thank you Dr. Marshall, but us beautiful women can also have bad days too you know. Everything don’t always go right for us.

He then smiles with a nod of agreement. Please, call me Antwon. I would really love that from you.

I smiled back. Alright Antwon.

So I been really busy since I moved here, and I really haven’t gotten to know anyone. I apologize if I haven’t formally talked to you besides work. I mean….I been meaning to talk to you. I wanted to, and I… Antwon sighed. I’m shy when it comes to talking to beautiful women. I think you’re gorgeous, and I would love to take you out on a date.

My heart almost stopped. Well, I damn sure wasn’t shy, but all of a sudden I was the shiest girl in the world. Dr. Marshall, I mean Antwon just asked me out on a date.

I don’t mean to come at you too forward. He began. I’m sorry if I…

No, no, no, please don’t be sorry. I’m glad that you asked me out. I would love to go out with you. Tell me when, and I’m yours.

He smiled that beautiful pearly white smile. Well, my calendar is clear for a while. I’m going out of town to meet a friend of mines who’s getting married. I’m his best man so I guess I have to go do best man things. But until I leave, I can be with you every day of the week.

I blushed, and gushed a sweet wetness in my panties for the third time since I been sitting in Antwon’s office. He make me want to just jump up on him right now. This has to be the best day since my baby was born into this world, and that was nearly fifteen years ago. What did I do to deserve a MAN like this to ask me out? I mean, I am indeed gorgeous, but my looks seem to intimidate the good ones like Antwon. The bad ones like Quan are bold and don’t give a damn, because they prey on women like me. Beautiful, yet weak and vulnerable. Not any more, I’m moving on up.

Ok Antwon, I gladly took his invitation. How’s this weekend? Saturday?

Perfect. You like jazz?

Yes. Jazz is cool. I said thinking about how I dreamed of a distinguished man like him to take me out to a real jazz club. I was tired, and too damn grown for these hip-hop clubs Quan was always dragging me to.

There is this restaurant that plays live jazz music, and the food is great. I been there a couple times since I moved here, but I didn’t enjoy myself. I was alone.

Aww. Well, I will keep you company. I would love to go.

Farrah, you just made my day. He gazed into my eyes, and for a second we seem to both melt.

Anyway, He snapped out of it first. I’m on break for a while. I been here since yesterday and need to take a load off. You want to go have coffee with me in the cafeteria downstairs?

Well…I’d actually love to but Big Marissa will flip out. She’s probably flipping out now.

You leave BIG Marissa, I mean Marissa to me. We both laughed as he stood from his desk. Shall we?

I stood up smiling trying to hold back the actual Kool-Aid smile that wanted to burst through. Antwon, Dr. Marshall was the man every woman dreamt of, and I’m actually in the same room with him talking, and our day together is not even over yet.

He opened his office door for me, and BAM! There was rollie pollie Marissa with lipstick on. Where the hell that come from? She didn’t have any on earlier, and it was thick, bright, and glossy. She was in total shock when she seen me standing in her face, with Antwon by my side. Which might I add; he was pretty close. His hand even fell to the small of my back, as he ushered me out and locked his office door. All while Marissa stood there still shocked, and a hint of madness on her face.

I didn’t realize you were busy Dr. Marshall. She then put her hand on her hip. Did Farrah do something wrong?

No, Farrah’s fine. We were actually coming to see you. I’m taking Farrah on a coffee break with me to talk over a few things. Did you want something from her?

Marissa looked shock. Umm, not really. I guess it could wait.

Good. Antwon stated. Just have one of the nurses cover for Farrah for about an hour.

Alright, Dr. Marshall.

Thank you.

I gave Marissa a ha-ha smile, and Dr. Marshall and I were on our way to our coffee date.

It was a good hour and a half before he had to leave me. We exchanged numbers, and I was truly satisfied. We had talked about everything except the fact that I had a teenage son. I didn’t want to scare him away too soon. I enjoyed our little time together, and I knew he enjoyed me too. Before he left, he gave me the sweetest kiss on the cheek. This was the first time I was able to be serious and tell Quan we were officially over. He always think I’m playing. Tonight he will have a wakeup call. I was going to do everything I can to make Antwon and I work.

Chapter Three

Malcolm (sixteen years ago)

Steven! I ran up and down the rat infested alley my brother usually hung out at. Steven! Where are you?

Mama sent me out looking for Steven. Although Steven was eighteen, mama still worried about him. She said she felt he was in trouble, and wanted me to go look around. He’s always been trouble to mom. No matter how much he disrespected her, she loved him with all her heart and still protected him. I was scared of my brother. I was taller than him, but I was a lot weaker. I was the biggest nerd in school, and besides getting picked on by my brother, I got picked on by all the other kids at school. Steven always beating me up, calling me names, and making me cry. I hate him sometimes. I wish mama would just give up on him, because he would never listen.

Steven hung around Mikey; some crazy drug dealer who I know was very dangerous. With Steven hanging out with Mikey; I knew exactly what he was doing. My mom worked hard to get us what we wanted, and she spoiled us like crazy. My father died six years ago, and we get social security checks every month. Steven didn’t need that drug money, he just liked being bad, and hanging out with the wrong crowd.

Steven, where you at? I asked myself, now walking up and down another alley.

I finally got pass a couple more winos and hit a dark alley. I debated on going down this one. I was scared of this specific alley. This alley led to a club that Mikey hung out at, so I knew Steven had to be around this area somewhere. When I walked closer to an old brown dumpster, I could hear faint noises of a woman moaning. It didn’t sound like happy sexual noises. She sounded like she was in pain. It was a cry for help. I took a couple more steps and seen two figures on the ground. I was hoping and praying at what was before me was an illusion. It’s dark and it could be any one. My eyes had to be betraying me. I stood there in shock for a good whole minute watching my brother commit a brutal crime. She didn’t want it. She looked half dead, badly beaten, and my brother Steven was on top of her thrusting himself in and out of this poor woman’s pussy.

Steven? I heard myself say.

Steven jumped up, pulling his pants up right along with him. He act like he just seen a ghost. I looked down at the woman who was beaten so badly. I almost couldn’t tell her facial features. She looked older than us. Maybe her late thirties, early forties. She wasn’t moaning anymore, and she was very still.

I….I didn’t do that to her Malcom. Steven stuttered. I swear she was already like this.

What do you mean? You’re raping her!

No, someone beat her like that. He was still stumbling over his words and seemed scared. I just…well, she asked me for a….

You’re an idiot! You were raping her! You’re going to jail Steven.

Steven ran up to me very quickly. He then pushed me hard, and I fell to the ground.

She wanted it! Now you shut your mouth, you fucking faggot.

But, she’s dying Steven. Why didn’t you help her?

She was practically dead when I came over here. Now you better not ever speak of this. I’ll tell everyone you helped do this to her. I swear on daddy’s soul if I go down, I’m taking your faggot ass with me.

I was silent. Steven only cared for himself, so I knew he wasn’t lying.

So you’re just going to leave her there? I mean if they find her, they may find traces of your semen inside of her. If she tried to fight you, or scratch you, they can find your skin, blood, under her nails.

Steven stood there for a second looking stupid. Well he actually looked as if he was thinking about what I said. Ok, you’re right. We will just have to make sure no one finds her then.

Steven walked back to the woman, and snatched off a necklace she was wearing. He put that in his pocket and then grabbed both her hands. I instantly regretted what I said to him.

What are you doing? I was scared of the situation that was going on already, and now he was going crazy.

What it fucking look like! Grab the bitch ankles.

I hesitated, but not for too long. Steven had a temper, and I didn’t want him beating on me tonight. After grabbing her ankles, we began to walk with her. We practically dragged the woman into the opening of the abandoned building. I heard her gasp, and I immediately dropped her legs.

She’s alive. I said barely in a whisper. She’s alive Steven!

So! We don’t want her alive. The bitch gonna rat us both out.

She won’t rat me out. She knows I didn’t do anything.

She’s been in and out of consciousness. Now grab her fucking legs before somebody sees us.

I looked down at the woman, who was now trying to open her eyes that looked badly swollen. Please help me. You could barely understand her, but that sentence was loud and clear to me.

We gotta take her to the hospital. I began to cry. She won’t identify you Steven.

Us! He yelled. She will identify us! Quit being a punk, and grab the bitch feet. Trust me, she dead already. They can’t save her.

Tears were streaming down my face as I picked her feet up again. We dragged her to the lower part of the building, down some stairs into some stank sewer basement. We couldn’t see anything. Steven pulled out his lighter, and led the way as I tripped over everything dropping the woman legs every time. He was constantly yelling at me. Finally he stopped, and he dropped her hands causing her to hit her head. He began moving lots of bricks, and wood around. He then pulled her body, and she fell into a hole.

Help me throw these bricks on her! Steven demanded.

What! I screamed as I felt the warm piss going down my leg. But she’s alive.

Fucking faggot! You ain’t shit! I gotta do everything by my damn self!

Steven quickly did it himself, leaving me there to cry my eyes out. My eyes were so teary eyed; I didn’t see when he ran past me to leave.

Let’s go! He yelled.

He came back for me and grabbed my hand. He had a hold of me the entire time. Within a couple minutes we were back in the alley, and out of breath.

You know the deal faggot! If I go down, so do you! Remember that! Now let’s go home, before mama whoops both our asses.

Present day

I jumped up in my bed, covered in sweat, like every other night in my life. I’m still having these nightmares, reminiscing about that awful day. No medication could ever help me. Not even prayer. I’ve given my life to God, I preach his word, and still life was not getting any better for me.

Buzz, Buzz, Buzz!

It was my doorbell. I jumped out the bed, and slipped my wet white t-shirt off. I then wiped away the rest of my sweat off my face with it. Without thinking, I walked up to my front door and yanked it open. I thought it was the mailman since I was expecting a package today. Surprisingly, it was Janet Rodgers. One of the many members of the church.

Pastor? She frowned up her face a bit, looked behind me, then her frown turned into a sneaky little grin. Bad timing?

No, no. I’m sorry Sister Janet. It’s early and I just woke up. I apologize about my appearance.

No Pastor, it’s almost 2 in the afternoon.

Oh…well since I took a vacation day, I guess I really slept in. Come on in, and let me put on a t-shirt.

Janet walked in practically staring at my six pack that I work truly hard for. Although I was a man of God, lived my life for God, I did have a couple of flaws. I loved the ladies attention, and it was a bad flaw I picked up in college hanging out with the basketball team. Since I been saved, I have been a faithful man of God. I try; we still have our bad days. Lord knows I was not perfect, but I do try to follow the Lord’s path. I pray for my weakness not to get the best of me. In all reality, my mailman was actually a mail lady and I was trying to show off my body. Yes, I’m being a little bad, but hey, I’m still a man. A man that needs to pray a little harder for his weaknesses.

I was ashamed of answering the door in front of Sister Janet like that. I would never provoke or try to lead women on or show off my body. Well, at least not to women in the church. Oh please Lord forgive me. This married woman probably won’t leave me alone now.

Have a seat. I showed Janet the sofa. Make yourself at home. Let me go put a shirt on.

I left out the living room, and threw on a clean white t-shirt. Thank God I had jogging pants on. When I came back out, Sister Janet was not in my living room. I raised an eyebrow, and searched around.

Uh…Sister Janet?

In the kitchen pastor. She yelled out, but she sounded as if she was crying.

I slowly walked toward Janet and gently embraced her with a hug. She didn’t want to let me go. She laid her head on my chest and wailed like a baby.

Is he still not working? I asked.

He works at Wal-Mart. If he hadn’t gotten into any trouble, he’d still have his job at the art museum. He’s barely bringing home half of what he made there.

Janet, come sit.

I let go of her, and led her to the kitchen table. I then sat across from her, and grabbed a hold of her hand.

You have one of the very few good men in life. Your husband is strong, and whatever he was going through with the law, he did not let that take him down. Take your time with him. Bishop married you guys six months ago. Your newlyweds. Love your husband; cherish him. Don’t yell and make him feel bad. God will see you through it all.

I want more. I love William but… She let go of my hand and sighed. I married him for his money, not love. I feel so guilty, because I know he was stealing all that money from the museum to please me. Now he’s facing time, and I know that’s bad, pastor. I’m not saying that I’m not happy with him. I do love him, but I’m not in love with him. I want to divorce him. I keep saying I love him very much, but I don’t. Should I keep leading him on?

Do you feel you’re leading him on? You’re not IN love with him, but you do love him? You loved him when he worked at the art museum. Now that he’s at Wal-Mart, you don’t love him the same. You’re constantly arguing with him because you want more money. If you’re going into this marriage for money, then your hurting Will. He loved YOU unconditionally.

Pastor, I’m keeping it real with you. No one knows I feel his way. I loved his money, and now that he doesn’t have it, I’m worried about my life. She looks over at the picture of me and Jasmine on the counter. Do you honestly love Jasmine?

I was taken aback by that question. Now she’s getting into my personal business and flipping the questions to me. Jasmine is my fiancé of seven months. I met Jasmine at a youth convention at her uncle’s church. She was stunning. Beauty was her name. Of course we all have a flaw that can really get to another person. My fiancé is drop dead gorgeous, sophisticated, proper, and one of a kind. I was raised in an average neighborhood. My mother spoiled me, taught me right from wrong. Now Jasmine, you would have thought she was raised in Beverly Hills. She was the one raised in the ghetto area of town. It was run down, dirt poor. You couldn’t tell her that though. She was so conceited, and stuck-up. Many women envied her, but at the same time, hated her and her snobby attitude. Her uncle is pastor of a small Baptist church on the other side of town. She was a saved Christian lady. Well she needed a lot of improving on practicing that part. In front of people she made the world believe she was a saint, but I and close