Eyes of Confession: A Love Story

By Connell Howard and Angela D. Brooks

Share the life of two people with their own past that is full of secrets, while they strive to confess their love to the people who dont think they belong. The problem is there are some things that havent been confessed between the two of them. See how April uses her God given gift peering into the eyes of others and the eyes of Lensey, the love of her life, seeing their stories, but failing to confess her own. Be intrigued; allow their wins to be your wins, their tears your tears by joining them on this journey, Enjoy!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: May 20, 2014
• ISBN: 9781499016949

Book preview

Copyright © 2014 by Connell L. Howard and Angela D. Brooks.

Cover Illustration by Goldenbrush.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 07/07/2014

Xlibris LLC

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www.Xlibris.com

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Contents

Acknowledgements – 

Acknowlegments – 

Intro

Chapter 1 Special Gift

Chapter 2 The Beginning

Chapter 3 An Angel’s Touch

Chapter 4 A Short Delay

Chapter 5 A Crazy Part of Love

Chapter 6 First Challenge

Chapter 7 Better Than a Dream

Chapter 8 Love at its Highest

Chapter 9 Reality Check

Chapter 10 The Look

Chapter 11 Last Night

Chapter 12 Moment of Concern

Chapter 13 The Meeting

Chapter 14 Just Like Yesterday

Chapter 15 The Struggle

Chapter 16 A Toast

Chapter 17 Higher Class

Chapter 18 A Helping Hand

Chapter 19 The Battle

Chapter 20 Deep Connection

Chapter 21 New Opportunity

Chapter 22 Something Inside

Chapter 23 Silent Flight

Chapter 24 Fresh Start

Chapter 25 Celebration

Chapter 26 Giving Praise

Chapter 27 Getting to Know You

Chapter 28 Coming Clean

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I want to dedicate my first novel to my mother Ms. Connie G. Howard. It was her guidance, unselfish devotion, and belief in me that has driven me to continue to aspire to be all I can be despite the circumstances. Ma, your love and support are endless and you have certainly given all that and more to me. Nothing or no one can or ever will come between us despite the trials and tribulations we may face. You said you’d always stand by my side, but in truth, you have stood not only by my side, but my front and my back as well! I apologize to you for taking you on this journey with me, but I thank you immensely for enduring it. The man I am today is because of you, and don’t ever forget it. You are my best friend, sister in faith, and the mother and also the father I’ve always needed all wrapped in one. I love you Ma!

Acknowledgements – 

F IRST AND FOREMOST I acknowledge Jesus, who is the author and finisher of my faith.

I would like to acknowledge and extend my deepest thanks and appreciations to my co-author, Mr. Connell Howard. I praise the Most High God for placing such a wonderful gift in my life. You are my pillar of strength. Your encouragement and your dedication have made me a stronger person. Thank you for pulling what was on the inside up to the surface. Without you keeping me focused on the vision, this book would not have become a reality. Your love and strength is what kept me going. Words alone cannot express just what you mean to me!

My sister Jackie, your love, support and understand got me through some rough days. Thank you for getting high marks in English class, your knowledge of spelling and grammar really came in handy. You are at the top of my class.

My sister Debbie, thank you for encouraging me to keep myself busy and to do what I enjoy doing. Now you get to writing, there is so much inside of you screaming to be released.

My sister Yvonne, thank you for your inside knowledge of what to expect, and for your words. I’ll call you trailblazer; I’m waiting for book two.

In addition, to my sisters Toni and Teri, thank you for your love and support. Your understanding means a great deal to me. Sometimes I didn’t call or come, but still you kept the invites opened.

To my son Anthony, you know your books should be flying off the shelves by now, and I cannot wait to see what’s in store for the big screen. Thank you for your motivation and passion you have shown me over the years of your works. Now let’s get to the publishers.

To my daughter Nicole, you are my rock, my best friend, my secret keeper, my confidant, my critic, my sounding board, the one that lets me know when I’m torn up from the floor up, and the one that lets me know when I got it going on. You’re also the one that I could bounce my ideas off and get an honest opinion. Thank you for all your love and encouragement. Stay who you are, and stay true to yourself.

To my only grandson Kevin, be a leader, be an encourager, not only encourage others but encourage yourself. There is greatness inside of you. Make Paw Paw and me proud.

To my granddaughters, Jazmin, Jael and Marketta, I love you, enjoy your youth, and look for the greatness that is inside and pursue your dreams. Look at me, it’s never too late and it’s never too soon, either. Reach for the stars.

I love each of you dearly, Angela.

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Acknowlegments – 

I WOULD LIKE TO acknowledge and extend my deepest thanks and appreciation to my brother, Mr. Collen Howard. Thank you for being the man you are. I watched you grow from a boy to a man and believe me it was my pleasure watching you do so. You are the brother I wasn’t (love you for that) and I sincerely thank you and respect you from the very bottom of my heart. I wish you great success as your day is coming. The degree you worked so hard for will be put to great use. Just keep striving like you are and let nothing or no one stand in your way. I’m proud of you man. Love you with all I got!!

Also, I would like to acknowledge my nephew Jayce who I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting face to face yet. I pray you continue to listen to your father and follow his steps, and not mine. Be a leader and your own young man. Being a great leader means you know who to follow and who not to follow. I love you!

I certainly want to thank my co-author Ms. Angela Brooks. I thank you for having the same passion as I working hard to complete this project. The countless e-mails, spending hours on the phone editing, the printing and re-printing, the networking, and searching for the best publishing company to make our talent a reality. Was all done without one single complaint. For all that I thank you. You have shown warmth and dedication getting us to the finish line. I hope and pray you continue on with me as we introduce ourselves as bestselling authors in the game because we’re just getting started. I Love You!!

To my close family and friends. Lou (no more green hat, proud of you), Drew & Carrie (stay strong), Dana-Boy (funny guy, stay safe), Tina (love you cuz keep working hard), DD Dunbar (multi-dimensional, ride or die friend), Tonya S. (remove those blinders baby), Tanya J. (lots of class, great mom), Kenyetta D. (community leader, wish you the best), Vanessa B. (I want to thank you for showing my mother genuine Sisterly Love). I thank you all in many different ways.

I extend a special thank-you to my friend Tomeshia who held my hand during the roughest moment of my life, and biggest battle I’d ever faced. Thanks for never letting it go. They broke the mold with you baby! You have been a fantastic friend and more to this day. Love you to pieces!

I want to also acknowledge my loved ones who are no longer with us but always on my mind and in my heart; mother, daddy, grandmamma and granddaddy, Rayburn, Bruce, and Ty!

To everyone who has and still supports me but not specifically mentioned please don’t take offense because I thank you too! You know who you are and the role you’ve played in my life.

To all my Flint Central Class of ‘89 Classmates, see you at the next reunion!

Connell L Howard

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Intro

BEFORE I MET YOU I LOVED YOU

I SPOKE OF you when I was a child, with my friends I shared how you would be. I remember that conversation like it was just had; now it has come to be.

With the many characteristics I’ve seen in you, before I got to say face to face, I love you, bringing my words to life making them true, just more confirmation about my destiny with you.

I knew you would be like me, believing and trusting in God. I couldn’t see you with me, without Him, He first had to be involved.

You have those beautiful set of eyes, I’ve never seen anything like them before. I’m so captivated when I look into them, that they make me love you more.

It’s like I spoke you into my arms, and now I hold you close. I thank God for hearing me, bringing you because here on earth you mean the most.

Eyes do have power, and I would tell the world to look at ours. How love was spoken through them, brought into existence those seeds planted are now flowers.

I loved you before I met you, when I think about it, it’s unique. It helps with so many things in our relationship, like knowing this was meant to be because it was our destiny!

Chapter 1

C:\Users\ANGELA\AppData\Local\Microsoft\Windows\Temporary Internet Files\Content.IE5\WMY6VMMR\MP900384783[3].jpg Special Gift C:\Users\ANGELA\AppData\Local\Microsoft\Windows\Temporary Internet Files\Content.IE5\WMY6VMMR\MP900384783[3].jpg

I drove to J ackson to pick up a very special package that I had been waiting for, for so long. It seemed like forever. There he was, I already knew what he was looking for, and I felt his eyes find me. He started running towards me, his bags left on the ground in the walkway. I took in a deep breath of air as he came towards me and picked me up spinning me around. He put me down and held me close to him.

You’re even more beautiful than the last time you came to visit.

I smiled back at him not sure how to respond to this compliment. I sure wasn’t use to hearing things like this.

We both stood there looking at each other. His easy smile put me at ease and I felt like just maybe this was going to turn out to be just fine and everything would work out.

So what do you want to do first now that you’re free? I asked the question and immediately started to blush knowing that he had told me a hundred times, in detail, in his letters exactly what he wanted to do when he got out. His low chuckle let me know that he had not forgotten. My stomach continued to do flips.

Well, how far away is the hotel?

The closest one I could find with a decent rate was in Flint, I answered.

That’s pretty far away. You couldn’t find anything closer?

I looked but I also knew that you wanted to get out of Jackson. I figured you would want to get something to eat since you haven’t had a meal other than jail food in years, and I knew that this was closer to your mom’s house so you could see her also. My voice trailed off. I knew that I was rambling, I was so nervous. I looked over at him and I knew that he could tell. He reached out and put his hand over mine where it was resting on the center console. My skin felt on fire from his touch.

It’s OK. I was curious that’s all. I am so thankful to have you here right now. You have no idea how happy I was to see you standing there and waiting for me. I feel like the luckiest man in the world to be here with you right now.

Really he had no idea just how lucky he has made me. But, I had come very close to not picking him up; my nerves had almost gotten the best of me. We were doing great writing and talking on the phone, but now it was time to begin a whole new chapter of our life together, and just maybe he had a change of heart now that he had a taste of freedom. I didn’t want him to get gratitude mixed up with love, which would soon wear off.

I lived in Georgia, quite a distance from Michigan. I had written to him for the past year and visited him a few times. Our letters had gotten more and more personal as we got to know each other, which didn’t take long at all. In the past year he had never once asked me for money, or to accept a collect call. We grew closer and closer and we were quite clear in our letters and calls that we wanted to start life over. I responded that I cared greatly for him as I had gotten to know him, but I’d been hurt so much in the past that I was wary and not sure of what I wanted to do. He also said that he, too, had been through some relationships that didn’t work out and that he had closed his heart off from love because he no longer wanted to be hurt. We promised to be patient with each other and would allow God to work it all out for us.

I looked over at him. He had placed his head against the car window, his eyes were closed and I could hear that his breathing had slowed. He had told me the night before on the phone that he couldn’t sleep because he was so excited to get out, and knowing that we would be with each other for the very first time. I was sure he was exhausted from all of the emotions, because I was.

I myself had not been in a relationship for quite a long time. It had been almost three years since I had last been with a man. Lensey’s letters had gotten me through some dark moments in my life; he encourages and keeps me on high whenever we talk.

I had come to realize that Lensey’s release date was quickly approaching. He wanted me to be the one to pick him up and he was quite clear about what he wanted to do with me when I did. I agreed to pick him up, and now here I am.

I settled back into my seat and continued to drive. I was now sure that he was sleeping soundly so I took a few moments to look over at him. Lensey had a very nice body. He had frequently written to me and told me about the vigorous work outs he put his body through every day playing Ping-Pong. It had certainly paid off. This man was fine, about 6 feet tall, arms thick and muscular and I was certain that so was the rest of him. He had a warm complexion and no hair, on his head anyway. That is all I could see for now. I wonder what kind of hair he had down below. Was it curly or straight? I couldn’t wait to find out. I found myself looking over every so often at him. I had a hot and handsome man in my car and all he wanted was me and yet I was afraid. I looked at myself in the rear view mirror. I never thought of myself as beautiful or pretty, but I wasn’t so bad looking, just plain; nothing too special. Why did this man love me, when he could have had so many others? But I know that he could definitely have done a lot worse. Why was I feeling so nervous and insecure?

We were approaching the exit for our hotel in Flint, so I reached over to wake Lensey and told him to figure out somewhere that he would like to eat. He stated that it wasn’t food that he wanted to eat and that he didn’t need a hotel room to eat it in either. I knew what he meant, but I just smiled trying not to show just how anxious I was also.

His mom was out of town so he wouldn’t be able to see her until the next day. We had decided that he would just stay with me at the hotel until then. I had gotten a room with two double beds. He set his bags on the bed that was still made and indicated that he was going to take a shower.

He disappeared into the bathroom and I soon heard the shower water running. I had intended to join him in the shower but I laid back on the pillows and flicked on the TV. I was suddenly so tired. I felt my eyes growing heavy and knew I wasn’t going to be able to fight it off much longer. I drifted off into a heavy sleep. I woke up and the room was pitch black. I looked at the clock and the time read 9:30 PM. I had been asleep for over four hours; where was Lensey? I rolled over and turned the lamp on between the two beds. He was in his bed asleep with the comforter pulled up to his waist. He was not wearing a shirt and I could see that he really did have muscles everywhere.

I noticed that my shoes and socks were on the floor beside the bed and I knew that he must have taken them off of my feet before covering me up with the extra blanket off of his bed since I had been asleep on top of mine. Otherwise, I was still fully clothed. I smiled at how sweet and thoughtful he had been. As much as I knew he wanted to make love, he didn’t wake me or try to force me while I was resting. What a man! What a man! I really did love and care for this man even though I had only known him through letters. I just didn’t want to get hurt again. I knew all about jail talk, and I wasn’t going to fall for that. Lensey had always struck me as genuine; I was hoping that my instincts were right. So far they have been on spot.

I turned off the light. I didn’t want to wake him so I turned the TV on with the volume low. After about a half hour I noticed movement from his bed. He had rolled over onto his side facing me. He was watching me intently.

It’s nice of you to join me sleepyhead. His voice was low and sexy.

You fell asleep in the car first you know.

So I guess that makes us even, Lensey stated.

The silence then fell heavy between us. For two people who had so much to say in letters and on the phone it was really quite different face to face. He started first and said.

I had been imagining this day, when you would come to get me for months. I always knew that you would be there. April, you have no idea how much I care for you. The nice things you said and the way you giggled on the phone. It made it so much easier to get through the days in there. I felt like I was back in high school again with a crush. I know that you and I were meant to meet and this is fate. I don’t want to scare you by telling you this, but I really love you, and I know that in my heart I will always love you.

Lensey, I really do love you too. You know that I do, or I wouldn’t be here. Georgia and Michigan are so far apart. Do you think that we could make this work? I know you are on parole and can’t leave the state. So, we will still be apart.

I can have the parole changed to another state and transfer down there to be with you. To be honest, I need to get out of Michigan and start over for real. If you will let me show you just how much I love you, I promise I will be everything you ever wanted.

I continued to look at him as he sat up slowly in his bed. I sat up as well, not sure what was going to happen next.

I just know that I am supposed to be with you. I don’t want to lose you and I know that you love me; I can feel you in my very soul, a place where no one has ever been before. You cared for and loved me, and didn’t even know me. That means more than anything else.

This was not what I had expected to hear. We had never really talked about what would happen between us on a long term basis after he got out. But this was what I wanted to hear.

He slowly stood up and the comforter fell away revealing that he was wearing boxers and nothing else. He came over to where I was sitting and sat down next to me. He took my hand off of my lap and brought it up to his mouth and kissed each of my fingers one by one. I knew that I should probably say something but when I opened my mouth to speak he shook his head and drew one of my fingers into his mouth and started to slowly suck on it. I could feel the heat rising in my face and I was already really turned on. He was watching me and I looked into his beautiful eyes. When he released my finger he continued to look at me.

Do you want me? Lensey asked.

I nodded my head, afraid I wouldn’t be able to form words out of my mouth at that moment if my life depended on it.

Tell me what you’re thinking and what you want.

I sat there for a few minutes, forming my thoughts as he held my hand and waited.

Lensey, I need you. I need to feel that someone loves me. I need someone to hold me and I need someone to want me. I want so badly for this to work for us. It’s not going to be easy. We both know that there are many obstacles we will have to face, but as long as we do it together and trust in each other, we can face anything. I would be very happy if you came home with me and we were together, forever.

He smiled, So do I.

I was a little shocked. I knew that this was not my head speaking those words, but my heart. I knew that what I was agreeing to was not rational. I was going to let a convicted felon just getting out of prison come and live with me. For some reason it felt so right to me.

He put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back onto the bed. I put my hands up against his chest and stopped him. All his body was on me, touching me, setting me on fire. It was too late to stop now. I wanted him more than I believed he wanted me at this point. I do want you, so bad, but it’s been awhile for me. Please take it slow, and be gentle.

I would never do anything to hurt you. I am definitely going to take my time with this, I want you to enjoy every moment. The only problem is that there are a few things in the way. He was glancing over my body and I was still fully dressed.

He leaned over me and started kissing my forehead. Then he worked his way down my face, kissing everything in his path; my eyelids, my nose, my cheeks. He finally made it to my mouth. His kiss was slow and relaxed; he was getting to know my taste. I was still a little nervous and tense but this was helping me relax. I could already feel myself getting wet in anticipation.

He took my shirt from the bottom and pulled it up over my head to reveal the black lacy bra that I was wearing. He looked down at me and smiled and then casually tossed my shirt onto the