Deep Inside Me: a Revelation of Love: A Revelation of Love

By Latoya Lee-Lati, Daniel B. McNeil and Arlisha Doctor

This is a collection of writings that date from years 2004-2009. I grant you permission to read as I reflect on my personal circumstances. The release of these personal matters has been a healing process for me. At the end of it all, I had exactly what I started with-God and myself. I didn't need a physician to tell me I had a problem. I experienced both physical and emotional trauma throughout my childhood. In my youth I witnessed drug and alcohol abuse, prostitution, domestic violence and crime of all sorts. Subconsciously I didn't neither want nor know how to be alone. I truly possessed a personal need to always feel comforted. In addition to my need for comfort, my sexually driven emotions had me traveling down a self paved road of confusion and destruction.

With self examination and the awesome grace of God, I have become a more pious, encouraging and conscious woman. I've learned what it means to be patient and love myself completely. I am in no way ashamed of my past. I am grateful for the lessons learned and the new respect I have for myself.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jan 7, 2013
• ISBN: 9781479753420

Book preview

Copyright © 2013 by Latoya Lee-Lati. 123942-LATI

ISBN: Softcover 978-1-4797-5340-6

ISBN: Hardcover 978-1-4797-5341-3

ISBN: eBook 978-1-4797-5342-0

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

[e-mail]

Contents

James’…Tender love

Kevin’s…Friendly love

Zeek’s…Mindless love

Khemet’s…Royal love

Acknowledgements

First I give all thanks to God for preserving my life. This preservation has allowed me to embrace the good in this world and as a result I’ve blessed others. I thank God for my parents Richard Mckelvey and Getta Lee for being all you are to me. I give thanks for your wisdom, love and ongoing examples of what life is really about. All thanks to my dear family for your unconditional love and inspirational influences throughout my life. Thank you for nurturing me and my little angel. I give a special thanks to my closest friends for being brutally honest, loving and always encouraging me to push forward. Very special thanks to Daniel B. McNeil and my wonderful friend Gyption for sharing your artistic skill and special touch to this piece of work.

I love you all.

My Gratitude to Mr. Charles O. Parker

I thank you for believing in me. Your guidance has kept me focused in my youth. It is the structure you’ve instill in me that exist in my life today. I thank you for your long lectures about boys, respect and education. I thank you for shielding me in the midst of the chaos. I deeply thank you, my mom, and my father for protecting my womanhood. Your relentless rearing, comfort and love has made me the woman I am today. I truly love you. Thank you for stepping up and being an amazing role model and father figure for me.

Daniel B. McNeil

www.facebook.com

Arlisha Gyption Doctor

www.SeyToni.com

Words to Remember/Definitions

King- God; Chief or ruler of a group; any animal considered as the best, strongest, or biggest of its kind

Lady- a woman of good family, social position and breeding; a woman who behaves very politely and with dignity

Lati- God’s love is present (this name given to me by family)

Love- a profoundly tender, passionate affection for a person or the opposite sex; to feel romantic and sexual desire and longing for somebody

Man- an adult male person as distinguished from a boy or woman; being with a particular occupation, responsibility, background or nationality

Maturity- adulthood; sensibleness; emotionally developed

Nonsense- pointless or meaningless language or behavior

Patience- the ability to endure waiting, delay, or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset or to persevere calmly when faced with difficulties

Respect- admiration for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person

Responsibility- the state, fact, or position of being accountable to somebody or for something

Revelation- the act of revealing or disclosing; a surprisingly good or valuable experience

Sex- the instinct or attraction drawing one sex toward another or its manifestation in life and conduct

Spectacularific- the most amazing; remarkably large or speedy; exceptionally good in that way that inspires enthusiasm (this word was created through experience)

Queen- female ruler; a greatly admired woman who stands out above all others

HOW DEEP IS YOUR LOVE?

Words to Remember

James-Tender

Kevin-Friendly

Zeek-Mindless

Khemet-Royal

The Awakening

A Little Q. and A.

My Advice

The Connection

123942-LATI-PBint-LSI.pdf

James’…Tender love

I thought would last forever

Beneath the Sun

Who gets to see the first drop of rain?

Whoever gets to see the pain?

Love doesn’t know when it’s supposed to hug

But the heart still feels

I can’t laugh-I’m waiting on my stitches to heal

My love died hard

I cried so hard…I tried so damn hard to get that feeling back

Yeah, we did it all and it all got done

Right beneath the sun

I was the only one

I was there

I was young

It was fun!

You were my first drop of rain

I saw the pain

I didn’t know what love was supposed to do

But I knew it was you

My stitches are healed

But my heart still feels

My love died hard

I cried so hard…I tried so damn hard and now that feeling is back

Yeah, we did it all and it all got done

Right beneath the sun

Journal received as a gift on May 31, 2004

I have moved on journal, from the old and confused to the new and understanding or so I think. I’ve been through a lot since my last entry. I was enduring a lot at that time. I believe my last entry-I was in Germany and I couldn’t believe I was coming home from Iraq. God had other plans for me. I’ve always considered myself grown but yet God continues to show me everyday how I am still his child and I must abide by his rules and his alone.

June 2004

I have created a new me. This time I will move on my own terms. I have just spent the last seven and a half years in love with my first. James was my world-I loved him more than I even knew how to love. Maybe that’s my mistake. We have been in love since we were 14/15 years old. We experienced so much so soon and I just knew he would be my husband. Yeah right-not! I must admit, I still love him and always will. He was my sunshine but so much occurred when we were together. I get it, we just had to experience life a little more.

July 2004

Good morning journal. Thank you Lord for this day. Journal I no longer have a boyfriend-first off, I feel like maybe we were never really friends. That’s part of our problem. Now I am where you need me to be. Alone, so that you can work with me in a way that you must. Though I love him, I feel the need to be distant from other things so that I may focus on GOD and myself. I feel like I’ve done the right thing, though it hurts like hell to let go. I know I shouldn’t worry myself and I won’t. I will take one day at a time and continue to pray for what’s best for me for a change.

123942-LATI-PBint-LSI.pdf

Kevin’s…Friendly love

Was supposed to be perfect

My