A Brother's Love

By Rosemarie E. Bishop

Charlie Masters is a man who ends up torn between his two best friends: his sister Deirdre and her husband John Camper. Influenced by otherworldly forces, Deirdre ends up leaving her husband, but taking their children. This causes Charlie to be torn between the two. Which side to take seems to be decided for him when he discovers his sister is avoiding him in every, possible way. As a result, both he and John are left to speculate over what has caused this sudden change in her and why she chooses not to trust her own brother, who she'd always turned to before.

A Brother's Love is a story that shows how unseen forces from different dimensions may be the driving force behind so much of what happens in our lives when we let our guard down and open ourselves up to the wrong kind of energy.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Dec 29, 2008
• ISBN: 9781477172605

Rosemarie E. Bishop

About the Author Bishop began writing novels in 1999 and currently has six other novels in print. Three of them are parts of The Moral Vampire Series – Search For A Soul, A Matter Of Conscience, and Spiritual Vengeance, plus three stand alone novels, Noah’s Garden, Mrs. Pope, and A Brother’s Love. In 1996 Rosemarie began her studies in Reiki, the art of hands-on healing. Today she is a Reiki Master/Healer/Teacher and teaches others this ancient healing technique whenever a student is led to her. Ms. Bishop lives in Southern New Hampshire with her husband, Christopher, and their furry family member, Teasha, that she finds peace with in their woodland home. For more information about this author and her work visit www.rosemariebishop.com.

Book preview

A Brother’s Love

Rosemarie E. Bishop

Copyright © 2009 by Rosemarie E. Bishop.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

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Xlibris Corporation

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Contents

Acknowledgements

Prologue

Part I

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Part II

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Part III

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Epilogue

This story is dedicated to all the brothers in the world who have stood by, protected, worried about, loved, and gone to their sister’s rescue, especially my brother, David Mandy, and my husband, Christopher Bishop.

Acknowledgements

I first want to thank all the men who have sisters they’ve cared for and to those sisters, I thank you for sharing your memories with me, many of which contributed to this story. These women are all dear friends of mine, for which I am most grateful.

I would like to thank my readers for their patience and anticipation for this latest book. I pray it is everything you expected.

I also want to thank Jaclyn D’Auria, my Publishing Consultant, for her patience and persistence in keeping me focused on having this story ready to share with the world.

I need to specially thank Maria Lucia Cortina for the incredible graphic she did from her vision of this story. Her work is always amazing and she jumped at the chance to create this graphic specifically for the cover of this book. Her vision was deeper than mine and for that I will always be grateful.

I would like to thank Sharon Stellmach for her friendship and for all that she taught me through the final edit of this book. She has been the literary angel I needed to grace my life’s work and the friend I never expected to find.

I deeply need to thank my parents, Elaine and Steve Mandy, for their dual assistance in the first edit this work underwent. It was a chore for both of them, but they worked together and showed me much about my writing that still needed to be tweaked. Their criticisms were honest, true, and without apology, which I am eternally grateful for. They continue to make me see the truth in myself.

I need to thank my brother, David Mandy, for being the kind of brother every girl, or woman, wishes she had in her life. He was my protector when I was young, my sounding board as I got older, and one of my best friends as an adult. He showed me that A Brother’s Love is something to be thankful for and cherished.

Most of all, I lovingly thank my husband, Christopher Bishop, for his patience during the many re-writes of this piece of fiction, for contributing his own insights into the flow of this story, and especially for suggesting the title, A Brother’s Love. He took it on himself to make sure I had the peace and quiet needed for concentration and he never questioned the way I chose to tell this story. He has always been the strongest support I have because he gives me the freedom to be me. He will always be the greatest love of my life, second only to Our Creator who has helped me stay true to my vision and guided me through this project.

Prologue

Raphael, Theliel, and Mihr rested within their heavenly realm in silence. Summonings of this nature always brought with them much anticipation and concern from which the archangel, Raphael, felt not only his own trepidation, but that of his brethren as well. Raphael held his feelings regarding the approaching catastrophe in check, knowing his companions were doing the same. Their concerns, their thoughts, their desires to step in without request to heal the problem before it began made them anxious, even though they all knew how strictly against the rules it would be should they attempt assistance without a request. The Supreme One had asked for their participation and their witness, but the Most High had given the gift that caused them to be ready for so many human situations. The angels were His soldiers. They could not defy the universal law as it had been laid out from the beginning. Free will. That perfect, glorious gift that was given to all conscious souls in existence. The freedom to make choices, right or wrong, good or bad, was always tripping up mortal creatures, many times leading to their own doom. Such a simple gift, yet constantly it seemed to be handled incorrectly.

Restlessly, Theliel stirred and turned to Raphael. What is the reason we have been called together once again? he asked.

Raphael studied Theliel’s aura, the beautiful green light that emanated from him, and the distress that engulfed him. He knew Theliel was only called when matters of love were at stake Pain, he said simply.

Whose pain? Mihr asked.

Raphael knew Mihr’s expertise was also in matters of love, but also in pure friendship and how the two affected each other. It seemed a bit unusual to have these two brought together, but Raphael was also aware of the Most High having ultimate wisdom. Only He would know the importance of these two angels working together. At this time, Raphael had his own beliefs about what might need to be done.

Are we not to know? Mihr continued.

As the healer and granter of joy Raphael shifted gently as his colors of turquoise and rose moved with his emotions. Raphael had been instructed not to tell them too much before he had been given permission, but he knew how unfair it was to keep his brothers in suspense. You are to know in time, Raphael said. Understand, brothers, I can only say or do what I am told is permissible. Be patient with me and know it will all come to light when the Supreme One sees fit. As with all such situations, we must be patient and learn what we can for ourselves without allowing us to be influenced by the thoughts Immanuel might portray. Then, if we are in agreement, we will proceed as needed.

Then why should we be pulled from our other charges, the humans who need us in the meantime? Mihr questioned. Soothing colors of lavender and blue that normally appeared in his aura, suddenly turned gray as Raphael looked on.

We must concentrate on these mortal beings so as to give us a chance to accurately feel the situation as it is beginning. Is it not best that we have immediate access to the thoughts and feelings, fears and emotions of all those involved right from the beginning so we can know exactly where events go wrong, thus causing what we already know will be unfortunate? Looking from one to the other, Raphael let his gaze rest patiently on each of them until he felt their understanding, their agreement.

And what must each of us do when we are given permission to go to their aide? Mihr asked uncertainly.

Raphael smiled, allowing his essence to glow. Why Mihr. I am surprised you would even have to ask such a question. Theliel and I will do our best to heal the hearts involved, or to protect them from further pain, then guide the love to where it must go so as to be recognized, felt, rekindled if necessary.

And me?

You Mihr have been called in because I believe there is also an issue of platonic love as we have seen in the past.

You mean platonic love that might have taken the wrong turn, Mihr said, sounding as if he were trying to correct Raphael’s error of words.

Possibly, Raphael said. We will only know when we are given the remaining details. For now I think it best that we simply look in on those we have been instructed to watch.

Agreed, Theliel said as he turned to gaze through their portal to the earthly realm.

"There’s no love like the love for a brother.

There’s no other love like the love from a brother."

~ Astrid Alauda

Part I

"Lord help the mister

that comes between me and my sister…"

~Irving Berlin

Chapter 1

Charlie Masters sat in his living room once again wondering what was happening to his sister, Deirdre. In recent months the person she used to be, self-confident, in control, and loving toward everyone around her, was definitely not the person she had become. Argumentative though she’d always been, her attitude had previously been focused on a point she was trying to make; now these disagreements were defensive right from the start. This new attitude was most disconcerting for Charlie because he noticed she also dealt with every conversation in the same way. Suddenly Deirdre thought she was right about everything; everyone else was wrong. She used to love learning new things. That trait no longer applied to her. This drastic change had been on everyone’s mind, but it did not seem to haunt the rest of the family the way it did Charlie. It was almost as if she didn’t want to be nice anymore.

Everything a person could want was hers; beautiful children, a loving husband, a beautiful home, no money worries; so different than Charlie’s life in the money worries department. Happiness seemed to have slowly been removed from Deirdre’s life; family time had dwindled down to nothing. Her children were spending more time with their grandparents and less time with their parents while Deirdre spent every available minute with her new group of friends from work.

Charlie thought of the job he had lost almost six months ago and imagined what it would be like to have the kind of money Deirdre was able to enjoy, but he quickly put it out of his mind. Jealousy was not an attractive trait by anyone’s standards. He considered the possibility that Deirdre may have simply become bored with her life, as absurd as the idea seemed to him, or maybe she was still grieving over the recent deaths their family had endured. Post-partum depression was another issue that seemed to begin shortly after the birth of her daughter a little over two months ago. Whatever it was all Charlie knew for sure was that his sister had been lying to him for months and that wasn’t like her. Deceiving others around her, maybe, but Deirdre had never lied to Charlie since they were kids. They had been each other’s best friends from the time they were very young, had shared everything with each other, had even gotten in all sorts of trouble together. Still, he could hear it in her voice and feel it in the way she’d been avoiding him, as if she couldn’t face him or just didn’t want to. Even her nickname, DeeDee, didn’t seem to fit anymore. It was too friendly, something Deirdre didn’t want to be these days.

Charlie thought about Uncle Bob’s death, remembering how hard it had affected his family. A few months later Grandpa Chuck, who Charlie was named after, passed away suddenly. Of course Charlie expected some kind of reaction to all that, but giving birth to Emily in the middle of both passings seemed to have further complicated Deirdre’s life. Still, this drastic change in her didn’t make sense. If anything the birth of Emily should have softened the pain of loss, but it seemed to have done just the opposite.

Counseling was out of the question since it was one of the many signs of weakness Deirdre turned her nose up at. His sister always believed she was strong enough on her own to handle such issues, so when Charlie suggested she seek grief counseling she claimed not to need it just as he expected. Because Emily had been born between the two deaths, he suggested to Deirdre that she might be suffering from post-partum depression, but she turned her back on that notion as well. Normally a sensible woman, Deirdre had chosen not to do all the reasonable, expected things any woman might normally do. She had the mistaken idea she had to remain strong no matter what. Admitting she might be suffering from anything was simply a sign of weakness to her.

Charlie shook his head and toyed with the idea of calling her once more just to try to understand why she was ignoring him, not returning any of his phone calls. Most difficult of all was trying to understand how she could seemingly walk away from everything she and her husband, John Camper, had worked so hard to attain; how she could even think to alienate her own children or uproot them from the family life that gave them comfort. If only his sister would talk to him, tell him the truth, trust him, maybe he could understand what she was really thinking.

Suspicion made him wonder if another man might have turned her head, but he didn’t think that was possible. Her devotion to John was like nothing he had ever seen before. He thought back to the twelve years they dated before finally getting married. Through all that time she had never cheated on him, never been impatient about getting married. She had simply trusted in his love and when he finally did propose to her the whole family was ecstatic.

At her wedding she was a beaming princess, sparkling with more love than she had glitter on her gown. She had moved gracefully through the crowd of guest who had come to celebrate with them. Even the birth of her children was like decoration on any cake, the piece de resistance. Whatever happened since then, he could only guess. Scratching his cheek, Charlie sighed. Maybe her life had been too perfect.

The familiar, loud muffler pulling in the driveway told him Megan, his wife of eighteen years, was home. She had dropped their children off with her parents to spend the weekend on their ranch and he was looking forward to a quiet couple of days to spend alone together. The thought of putting on a pot of coffee for her entered his mind, but he was so comfortable in his recliner he really did not want to get up. When he heard the way the car door slammed, however, he decided a nice, fresh pot of coffee might calm her down. Something had obviously upset her. Charlie could only draw his own conclusions based on past issues with her family.

Charlie enjoyed his in-laws and Megan obviously loved her parents, but they were very judgmental about her and Charlie’s financial troubles. It always rattled her nerves to have to face them with such a discussion and her parents rarely missed an opportunity to bring the subject up. Megan’s family believed she and Charlie did not save enough money for more challenging times, but the truth was the money they made was just enough to pay the bills and supply the kids with clothes that actually fit. There was seldom any money left over to put away and when they did manage to save a little they always seemed to encounter new problems that would wipe out their savings.

As he started the pot of coffee he heard his wife’s footsteps on the concrete driveway stamping hard as if she were trying to kill ants on the way to the door. Wondering what else he might do for her, his vision caught the bag of cookies from the corner of his eye. Cookies! She loved sweets, though how she managed to stay so slim in light of her comical sugar cravings was beyond him. Yet she never made a secret about how sugar made her happy. He smiled as he pictured her saying those words whenever someone commented about this as they watched her reach for that second piece of cake or that fifth chocolate chip cookie.

Shortly after the front door opened he heard her footsteps on the living room rug and he turned to greet her with a smile, his arms opened wide. Sweet Tart, he said. How’s my candy girl?

Don’t call me that today, Megan said, kissing him quickly, then dropping her purse on the cupboard. Today’s a fat day. I don’t need a reminder.

Aww, Meg. What happened?

She looked up at him, then lay her head on his chest. Why does everyone else get to have money but us?

Charlie put his arms around her, then pulled her to him, gently rubbing her back. He wasn’t surprised to learn he was correct about her mood and the reason for it. Maybe we’re just not destined to be rich, he said as his eyes caught the torn sofa in the living room and the scratches on the kitchen floor. But we always have each other. Small consolation, I know, but we have us to fall back on. Her deep sigh confirmed his suspicion over the encounter she’d had with her parents. Did your parents upset you? he asked, trying to sound jovial.

Oh, she said, sighing, sometimes I hate this life. After moving away from him, she went to the cupboard and took a mug from the bottom shelf. Then there’s your sister. How could Deirdre just walk away from everything after all she’s worked so hard for, after all she and John accomplished together? John is a good man. Pouring her coffee, she turned to face Charlie. And he’s your best friend. Where does that leave you? What makes a woman just start hanging around with her friends like a teenager, forget about her children, forget about all the good things in her life, and develop an attitude over nothing?

I don’t know, Charlie said, shaking his head. You’re a woman. What do you think caused it? Besides, she hasn’t left, yet.

But she’s thinking about it, Honey. We’ve known something was up with her for almost a year, now. Megan froze for a second, then shrugged. I still think there’s another man. I can’t help it. I know what you say about her and I know how devoted she’s been to John all these years, but it’s been known to happen.

Not to my sister, Charlie replied, defensively. He was hurt, but there was a lot of truth in what Megan said. Anything is possible, I suppose.

Have you talked to her today?

Charlie shook his head. I think she’s tired of talking to me. She doesn’t even return my calls anymore.

Well, she’s only been back to work for a short time since Emily was born, Megan said. Have you called her there?

She’s ditching those calls too. Someone else answers the phone and takes a message for her because she’s either on another call or in a meeting with someone. How many meetings can an electrical company have?

Shaking her head, Megan took a deep breath and shrugged. I don’t know. After a sip of coffee she walked over to the old, oak table and sat down, letting her long hair fall forward over her shoulders. I can understand her not returning your calls from work, but I would think she’d get back to you later that day. When was the last time you talked to her?

Almost a week ago, Charlie said. We used to talk at least once a day. Every other day at the most, but lately… I don’t know.

The look on Megan’s face was suddenly very serious as if she planned to tell him something he didn’t want to hear. She’s obviously hiding something, Charlie. That’s the only reason someone like her would change like this. She spends all her free time out with friends instead of home with the kids. None of us know these new friends. Granted, we’re all adults and her friends are really none of our business, but maybe they’re the reason for this change in her and she knows it. Plus she’s got this new language of acronyms she keeps using as if the rest of us are supposed to know what she’s talking about. Megan leaned forward at the table and sighed. Face it, Charlie. If there’s another man in her life, it’s either someone she’s just becoming close to or someone she has already been out with while John was at work. Maybe she meets him when she’s out after work or maybe he calls her at your mother’s when she drops the kids off.

Charlie sat at the table, feeling torn. If that’s the case, she should know she’s able to tell me, but the lies. I don’t understand that at all.

And what would you say if she told you she was interested in someone else?

I’d try to talk some sense into her.

Don’t you think she knows that? Megan asked, raising her eyebrows. Don’t you think that’s exactly the reason she isn’t telling you anything?

Could be, but still.

But still? Megan asked. I know how close you two have always been, but she’s going her own way now. She’s an adult, Charlie. It’s better to face the facts instead of hoping it will all work itself out. She’s a woman and she just had a baby two and a half months ago. She’s feeling ugly and there might be someone else who’s making her feel beautiful. Let’s just hope it’s in words only at this point.

Charlie stared at the scratches in the table, wishing none of this was happening, wishing his sister was still the same as she had always been, wishing their relationship was still whole. Charlie hated change, any kind of change. But this was too extreme for him. Megan’s hand over his was small comfort.

Charlie, she hasn’t left John yet.

He knew she was only trying to make him feel better, but he felt it, too. Deep down he knew Megan was right. Deirdre could be thinking about leaving her husband and it frightened him to think about what that might do to his and John’s friendship. The same thing had crossed his mind since all this started months ago, but he didn’t want to believe it right now any more than he did then.

What about John? Megan asked. How’s he doing with all of this?

Not good, Charlie said. He’s hurting, confused, and angry all rolled into one. I don’t even know what to say to him. Heh, I talk to him more than I talk to her these days.

Have you asked him about any other man she might be sneaking away to see?

Charlie shook his head. He doesn’t believe she’d do that any more than I do. No one in his family believes it either.

Releasing a frustrated breath, Megan stood up and took her cup to the sink. You know by the time you guys come to your senses it’ll be too late, she argued.

What do you want him to do if she is cheating on him? Charlie asked. Beat her up? Shoot the other man?

No, Megan quickly replied. He should talk to her. Try to get her to a marriage counselor.

Unable to control his sudden laughter, Charlie quickly cleared his throat. You know how she feels about counselors of any kind.

Well, that’s just plain stupid, Megan said. She frustrates the hell out of me, such a smart woman acting like a little girl.

Oh, shit, Charlie said as he stood up. Someone’s pulling in the driveway. I’m not in the mood for company. As soon as he reached the front window and looked out he turned back toward the kitchen. It’s John. And he doesn’t look happy.

Of course he doesn’t, Megan said. He’s afraid of losing his family.

Charlie went to the door and opened it intending to wait for John to get out of the car and come to greet him, but as he watched John remained in the car leaning on the steering wheel. His short, light brown hair appeared disheveled from running his hands through it as he tended to do when he was stressed. Fear and empathy gripped Charlie’s insides.

Are the kids with him? Megan called from the kitchen.

No, Charlie said. I think he’s crying. I’m going out to get him. As Charlie headed toward the car he could see John’s body shaking and all he could think was that Deirdre finally left and took the kids. He hoped he was wrong, but that terrible mix of feelings wouldn’t go away. When he reached the car door he opened it to see John’s ruddy face looking at him, tears still pouring from his eyes.

She left, he said as he wiped the back of his hand across his cheeks. Packed her clothes, took the kids, and left.

Charlie rubbed his friend’s back. Come on in, he said. Megan’s home and we were just talking about you. She’s as worried as you and I are.

John slowly got out of the car, then shut the door and stood leaning against the vehicle.

Come in the house, Charlie said, gently nudging John’s shoulder. There’s fresh coffee.

I just want to die, John said. I don’t understand any of this.

Well, you might be in luck, Charlie said, attempting to get a smile from this heartbroken man. I just made coffee. Starting to walk toward the house he turned to make sure John was following him. Megan took a chance on it so I might have made it right this time. She’s not dead yet. I don’t think it’ll hurt you.

John chuckled a bit, but didn’t say anything as Charlie opened the door to let him walk in first. Charlie then followed him in to the house. Come on in the kitchen.

John, Megan said as she approached him with open arms. Hugging him gently, she gave Charlie a serious look over John’s shoulder, then motioned for John to join them in the kitchen, but John began to cry again. Oh, it’ll be all right, Megan spoke soothingly. Come in and relax a bit. It’ll all work out.

John shook his head and sniffled. I don’t think so. Following her to the kitchen, he sat down at the table, leaned his elbows on its surface, and stared straight ahead in silence.

Tell us about it while I get you some coffee, Megan said.

John did his best to pull himself together while Megan and Charlie waited for him to speak. After clearing his throat a few times, then blowing his nose in a paper towel, he focused on them. I got home from work today and she was gone. Took the kids and left me a note on the table saying she needed time to herself, needed space. She said she was going to her mother’s for awhile, not a few days or a week. She said it would be awhile.

Did you try to call her? Charlie asked.

John nodded. I did, but your mother said she wasn’t there. I drove by about ten minutes later and her car was in the driveway. Looking briefly at Charlie, John put his head down and began to cry again.

Oh, John, Megan said as she headed to his side and sat down in the chair beside him. She put a hand on his arm and gently stroked it. I’m sure all she needs is time to herself. She must be going through post-partum depression from Emily’s birth. Plus the two deaths in the family so close together must have all taken a toll on her emotions. She’s never had to deal with these things before.

She’s had two children already, John said. Nothing like this happened then.

She did go through that depression thing with both of them, Charlie reminded him, still wondering what that ‘depression thing’ was really about. But there were no deaths in the family so close to either of them.

Not in your family, John said, looking at him. But there were in mine.

But she wasn’t as close to them as she was to Grandpa Chuck or Uncle Bob, Megan said. It’s different when it’s your own family.

And you know how close she was to Grandpa Chuck, Charlie reminded him. She did things with him all the time. They talked on the phone constantly, almost as much as she used to talk to me.

You have to remember, John, Megan began, Deirdre was only four years old when her father died. Grandpa Chuck replaced that role in her life as if he were her father. He was her guide and the man who disciplined everyone. When he passed on, part of her world was gone with him. That’s a huge adjustment to make in itself. Add to that two children and a newborn baby. She’s been dealing with a pile of issues not many people could carry alone.

I know, I know, John said, sitting back and slumping in his chair. I just wish she would’ve gone for grief counseling or something to help her get over it.

Honestly, Megan said, I think she was counting on you for that.

What could I do? John asked in a defensive manner. I’m not a counselor. I don’t really understand what all this grief and women’s things are about.

Of course you do, Megan argued. Don’t tell me you’ve never been sad or disappointed or deeply hurt. Your sister has children of her own and I know she had troubles after the second one was born.

So she says, John replied. But I don’t know what all that is about. I just figured my sister was using it as an excuse to get some sympathy.

Charlie could see Megan’s angry huff that she tried her best to hide from John before she responded. You’ve been sad over your family members passing on, she said.

Sure, I have, John said. But it goes away.

For some people it does, Megan said as she abruptly stood up and placed her coffee mug on the countertop. But it takes time. For others, it never goes away. Where was your concern for your wife?

Settle down, Honey, Charlie said. The man feels bad enough as it is. Don’t add to it. He turned to face John. We’re both hurting then, buddy. I’ve hardly talked to DeeDee at all in weeks and when I have I can tell there’s something on her mind, but she keeps telling me she’s all right. He shook his head. She never sounds all right though.

Do you think she’s cheating on me? John asked, looking as if he only wanted to hear what he wanted to hear; that Deirdre was still faithful to him.

Charlie hesitated before answering. This was not the time to admit the same thought had been on his mind. I can’t imagine it, he said. You’ve been together forever and built all your dreams together right up to the advertising business you own and the gorgeous house you live in. The only thing you didn’t plan on was Emily, but she turned out to be a little charmer even as young as she is. I agree with Megan that Deirdre is going through that female depression thing again, but it’s worse because of all the sadness she dealt with so close to the time Emily was born. The two deaths in our family were both people who were very close to her. They both shook me pretty bad too, so I understand how that feels for her. But what happened to her where Emily was concerned is a mystery to me like it is to every man I suppose.

Maybe I didn’t pay enough attention to her, John said. Maybe I didn’t wake up in the middle of the night when Emily was crying and woke Mathew and Amanda as well. Maybe I didn’t bring her flowers enough. John laid his head on his hands on the table and sighed.

Look, John, Charlie said. I’ll see if I can get a hold of my sister and find out what’s really going on with her. I want to know, too. She’s never shut me out of her life before and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let her shut me out now. It’ll be all right, he finished, but what he felt in the pit of his stomach was anything but all right.

Chapter 2

Memories of her childhood flooded Deirdre’s mind as she sat in the kitchen with her mother after putting the kids to bed for the night. The yellow, flowered wallpaper in the kitchen had been a stretch for her mother when Deirdre first suggested it, but with the pale, yellow curtains Deirdre was able to feel the light, airiness she’d planned for her mother when Evelyn wanted to make her home feel brighter and more open. Being in these old, familiar surroundings already comforted her, made her feel safe.

There was no doubt her mother had questions that would have to be answered at some point, but right at the moment Deirdre just wanted to be left alone. On the other hand, if she was going to stay in her mother’s house for a little while she at least owed her mother an explanation, however lame it might sound. No matter how much Deirdre had thought about it these past months she couldn’t understand how her life had gotten to this point. Maybe if she had stood her ground with John all along, she might not be in this position.

One thing she knew for certain was the pain medication the doctor had prescribed for her back after the accident at work had been the only thing making life bearable. The medication made her feel better when she took it. That couldn’t possibly be bad the way John seemed to believe.

I don’t understand, Deirdre, Evelyn said as she sat across the table looking at her daughter. I thought you loved John. What on earth made you feel you had to leave?

It was a stupid thing to say, but given the lack of motivation Deirdre currently had to provide an adequate explanation of any kind. Even a stupid answer should have gotten her on the right track for a better one, but it didn’t. I didn’t leave him, Deirdre said. I just need a break for awhile. Judging from how relaxed she felt already it was clear to her that it might be a very long while.

A break from what?

Shrugging, Deirdre noticed the concerned look on her mother’s face and felt bad for causing her worry. From everything, she said. From the kids…

You brought the kids with you, her mother interrupted. How is leaving John an escape from the kids when you brought them here?

Not just from the kids, Deirdre admitted, yet feeling as if she didn’t know how to make her mother understand. From everything. From work. From the house, the bills, everything.

Her mother’s face softened as she looked into Deirdre’s eyes and smiled. I’ve been there, she said. You’re not the first. Your father and I had our hard times and our fights. We had times when I thought our marriage was going to be all over because I couldn’t take it anymore either. But we got through it and neither of us ever felt we had to move out to do it.

The frustration in Deirdre was growing and she felt as if she wanted to shout. The calm her mother’s home had brought her seemed to be just a temporary reprieve. Deirdre’s temper was almost ready to explode and she felt the pressure growing inside her, partly because her mother was right. But being here was so different than being at home mainly because John wasn’t here with her. She didn’t have to listen to his nagging or put up with his friends stopping over at all hours, interrupting their plans, their dinners, their quiet evenings alone that were never all that quiet to begin with.

Suddenly Deirdre felt relieved that she didn’t have to think about handling work all day tomorrow, then going home only to go to the grocery store later because John was having a potential customer over for a drink, or one of his new marketing contacts over to discuss a contract. She never understood why these things couldn’t be handled at work during business hours, not afterward when it interrupted family life. People weren’t supposed to bring their work home with them.

She could explain all that to her mother, but she knew she’d have to listen to her mother advise her to seek marriage counseling or suggest she and John try to talk more, which Deirdre already knew was useless with her husband. All her mother saw was a charmed life on the surface, but she was never able to see what a life like hers cost her to achieve. Deirdre wasn’t in the mood to discuss the whole problem with anyone. She went to her mother’s to get away from all of that. She didn’t want to think about it anymore. She just needed a break.

I don’t know, she told her mother. All I know is that I can’t think straight. I feel like I’m being pulled in all different directions. I can’t remember anything anymore and I can’t keep things straight. I’m tired, but I have to keep pushing because the kids need me and my job needs me.

You should’ve quit your job as soon as Matthew was born. Harrison’s can find another bookkeeper, Evelyn said with an angry look on her face. You should be home with your children while they’re growing up. There’ll be plenty of time to work when they’re in school, but right now they need their mother.

I’m here, Deirdre said.

That’s not what I mean.

Deirdre nodded as she watched a breeze gently push the curtains into the room. I know. I just need a break, Mom—a little time to myself to put things together. She looked at her mother, hoping she’d understand.

Evelyn Masters took a deep breath and nodded. Her salt and pepper hair glowed under the florescent kitchen light, giving Deirdre a safe feeling in the presence of her mother’s mature know-how.

That’s fine, her mother said, smiling. You stay as long as you like. I’ll enjoy having the kids around for awhile. Lord knows it’s too quiet here most days, anyway. Her mother looked away for a moment, then turned back toward Deirdre with a serious, yet tentative expression on her face. I have to ask you this, she said. Please be honest with me. That’s all I’m asking you.

Deirdre nodded her head, but she already knew what her mother was going to ask.

Is there someone else? her mother asked.

No, Deirdre said, shaking her headed furiously. I have a lot of male friends, Mom. Mostly at work, but there’s no one else I’m interested in.

A few moments passed while her mother studied her. That’s all I ask. I just want you to know you can talk to me about anything that’s going on in your life.

I know Mom, but there’s no one else. Deirdre felt a pit in her stomach as she responded to her mother, but she wasn’t really lying. She was only friends with Greg, though deep down she knew there was something else in Greg’s continuous, gentle counsel; in his concern for her moods at work.

John never seemed to notice when her mood changed or when she was wrestling with something that was plaguing her thoughts. But Greg had become a good friend over the past few months. The only problem with Greg was that he didn’t have the best track record with his past relationships and Deirdre was very well aware of his reputation. Still, people tended to blow things out of proportion just as her husband did at times, so Deirdre had chosen to give Greg the benefit of the doubt. So far it had proved well. Greg was very understanding, always knew the right things to say and do, always carried the load at work when she was having an off day. Deirdre also knew that Greg would have made the first move by