Showing Teeth: Part 1

By Terah Kelleher

Water entered her throat before she could stop it and she jerked up, coughing and treading water. Her feet searched for the ground, kicking up the muck below her.

Showing Teeth Part 1 is about Muriel, an ex-"party girl" turned linguistic librarian, who is fluent in 3 languages yet has trouble expressing hersel

• Language: English
• Publisher: New Degree Press
• Release date: Sep 4, 2022
• ISBN: 9798885048422

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Showing Teeth

Showing Teeth

Part 1

Terah Kelleher

New Degree Press

Copyright © 2022 Terah Kelleher

All rights reserved.

Showing Teeth

Part 1

ISBN

979-8-88504-637-4 Paperback

979-8-88504-955-9 Kindle Ebook

979-8-88504-842-2 Ebook

Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Author’s Note

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Waiting in line at my local coffee shop, I saw a handsome young man in front of me. Me being in a loving and committed relationship, I admired him from afar. You could chalk this up to raging hormones, but it went deeper than that! I saw myself in him, and he became a representation of me in my thirties. As he interacted with the woman he was with, he seemed unhappy and muted his facial expressions. The biggest thing I noticed—he didn’t show his teeth when he smiled. I yearned to see his teeth and, in other words, for him to show his emotions fully. I thought about the times I inhibited my self-expression and settled. In that coffee shop, I carried a confidence I didn’t have in my sexually and emotionally naive younger years. Now, I had the experience of seducing the man and having his teeth gleam in the moonlight. Yet, I also wanted to offer advice about living life genuinely. This young man inspired a key character in my book and helped me form a story about a woman learning to love herself and have a healthy relationship with herself and others.

In my early twenties, a dear family friend once said, Terah, you need to let people in, or you’ll live a lonely life. Harsh but true! I did keep people at arm’s distance because I feared emotional intimacy and dated men who didn’t challenge me to overcome it. Also, I fell in love with alcohol in my late teens because it gave me confidence and numbed my overwhelming emotions. By my mid-twenties, I stopped partying and went to massage therapy school, which helped me begin to walk a healthier path. I started to look inward instead of reaching outside of myself for solace.

My early thirties were both confusing and liberating. An intense restlessness consumed me! In short, I traveled, returned to the States, and got into an emotionally abusive relationship. I mostly experienced gaslighting, a form of psychological manipulation, at the hands of a narcissistic person. What I regret most was stuffing my anger down because I didn’t feel permission to express it. We are born into this world with the capacity to enjoy a wide spectrum of emotions. Yet, at birth, your gender determines the emotions available to you. For example, toxic masculine ideals tell men they can express anger but can’t cry. Women have more permission to explore their softer emotions, but anger is forbidden. These irrational and detrimental standards wreak havoc on all involved and need to stop.

If we don’t express ourselves in healthy manners or take care of our mind, body, and souls, we can develop unhealthy coping mechanisms. This can lead to addictions to all types of ephemeral things outside of ourselves, such as substance abuse, workaholism, social media, and sex. And even though I love writing about the lusty aspects of sex, there is also more to love than what awaits us in the bedroom. As I’ve gotten older, I realize the biggest aphrodisiac is trust, love, and stability.

This book is for the reflective, emotional, witchy, mystical, nerdy, horny, goofy, overanalyzing, soul searchers, workaholics, and perfectionists. It is for those with wanderlust and restlessness who may yearn to set down roots and find their place with those who love and nurture them.

Chapter 1

The tide washed in and out, mirroring her willpower not to call him. She tried to enjoy the landscape, but the need to connect with Lucio won. Opening her social media page, she checked if he saw her story, and he did, making a huge rush of dopamine flood her brain.

Exhilaration tickled her skin as she clicked on his new story. His white tank top complemented his toffee skin, and his muscles gleamed with sweat as his round eyes engaged hers. She could almost hear his treadmill motor cooling down.

Muriel wasn’t sure when this seemingly reciprocal social media dance between them started, but she clung to the habit. Gazing out at the ocean, a familiar reverence for it washed over her. It seemed to be the one love in her life she could gaze at wide-eyed without running away.

The sea had a sacredness that calmed her. She needed no prayer books or buildings to gain spirituality. Nature and the ocean filled that space. Closing her eyes, she paid homage to that silent observer within her, sitting in her inner sanctum.

Muriel’s phone rang, and her parents greeted her on speaker phone.

Congratulations on one year of your freedom, they both said.

I will forever remember this day! her mom said.

Yes, that man even made your pacifist father wish violence on someone else.

Thank you! Muriel laughed and strolled back to her beach towel. She caught her parents up on her low-key weekend at Donna Lynn’s beach house in Sedog Beach.

A year ago, she left Seth for good. In the beginning, he had presented himself as all she wanted, but he slowly wore her down, mental warfare his weapon. Muriel scratched at her temple, noticing a small spot of psoriasis on her scalp.

Why is my wanderlust daughter not traveling like she used to? her mom asked.

Muriel’s feet seeped down into the snow mist-colored sand. Work’s too busy, but there’s a conference in Brazil soon, and I’m dying to go. I just want to prove to myself I can stay in one place. But living in Arborsville is cool because the beach is two hours away, and I can visit you guys in the mountains in about the same amount of time.

She was born and raised in the college town of Arborsville, North Carolina. After traveling around the world, she returned to maybe set down roots in her hometown, which was full of the finest trees in the USA.

Her mother sighed. Well, I think you’re mainly trying to prove that to Lucio. I have the number for that therapist if you still want it.

I know, but the way I left him had to hurt, she said, tasting the sea air on her lips. The therapist’s card is on my fridge, but work and beach therapy are working.

You might need something stronger. Okay, sweetheart. We’re here if you need us, her dad said.

After hanging up, she read a text from Donna Lynn:

Hope you haven’t burnt down my house or had wild sex in my bed?

You ask too much! Had sex all over your house to keep my pyromania in check.

Darling, a woman has needs. Congrats again! Don’t think about you-know-who too much!

Donna Lynn, Lucio, and Muriel went to library school together and worked at Arborsville University. Muriel, a Portuguese department library liaison, and Donna Lynn, an English department liaison, worked at the North library location. Lucio helped head the Portuguese and Spanish Departments at the main library across campus.

The fishing pier’s long legs spanned out into the ocean, with a few fishermen on its surface. She wondered if they, too, paid homage to a deity within the sea as they waited for their next catch. A seagull flew above her, and Muriel craned her head to watch it pass. Her phone dinged with a notification.

Carla, her Brazilian host sister, had responded about the prospect of going to Brazil for a work conference:

Yes, Muriel, please come and visit! You can stay with me or my parents.

The Portuguese language has a word that doesn’t directly translate into English—saudades. It surpasses missing someone or something, moving more into the realm of a melancholy yearning. The day after Muriel left Seth, saudades for Brazil rushed in and had only increased with each passing day.

At age twenty, Muriel had lived with Carla, her host parents Sergio and Helena, and Antonio, her host brother, in Brazil. Now in her forties, this conference would be her chance to travel there. Muriel wanted to return for many reasons, but deep down, she wondered if somehow it could reset father time’s ticking clock.

After replying to Carla, Muriel placed her phone on her towel and stretched her aching fingers. A couple holding hands passed by, making Muriel crave a walk with Lucio down the beach like they used to.

Although she adored crawling into her shell to recharge, loneliness could hit her like a tidal wave, making her desire the presence of others. Born into this world a shy and sensitive child, Muriel learned to adapt to this extroverted world. Yet, she still hadn’t learned to express herself fully. With the sun beaming down on her, a touch of liberty filled her wings, and she ran to the water. She floated on its surface and let the ocean cradle her, trying to remember the last time she just let herself sit still.

The calmness spread, but Seth’s face came into view, his dark blue eyes bearing into hers, and an unease consumed her. Water entered her throat before she could stop it, and she jerked up, coughing and treading water. Her feet searched for the ground, kicking up the muck below her.

***

"Honey, what it comes down to is that we’re both like a good cup of ellick, his great aunt Pam said, using the Lumbee dialect term for coffee and pointing at her mug. With just the right amount of cream and a touch of cinnamon."

Lucio sat across from his great aunt at her dining room table as he interviewed her for his book. His big hands enveloped the older woman’s, and he noticed she described their matching skin tones perfectly. His phone vibrated on the table with a text from Hollis, his girlfriend.

Excuse me, Aunt Pam, I just need to send a text to Hollis. After sending the text, he focused on his aunt again. Okay, could you tell me more about the Lumbee dialect?

Before I do, let me tell you that girl is nothing like Muriel. She shook her head, her long gray hair draping over her frail shoulders. I know I’ve said it a million times!

Muriel and I didn’t work out, but Hollis isn’t too bad. You should try warming up to her.

I’ve been trying, but there’s something about her I don’t like. She shook her finger at Lucio. You get that Muriel back. Y’all fit together. Now, take me outside so I can enjoy the pretty weather.

Lucio helped his great aunt to her front porch and sat with her as she told him more about the Lumbee dialect. His aunt started to tire, and he said, I want to thank you for sharing all of your stories with me today.

My sweet boy. You’re going to tell our story, and I’m so proud of you.

When he sat in his car, the mention of Muriel weighed him down. Their breakup cut deep, and its loose ends left a void he wanted to remedy but had no idea how. Shaking his head, he brainstormed about his book, which highlighted his African, Brazilian, Caucasian, and Lumbee roots.

Lucio arrived home and rushed in, wanting to work out before Hollis came home. Exercise relieved his stress, and he had upped it recently due to his increased thoughts of Muriel. His social media usage had also spiked with his craving to communicate with her. He had no idea if she did the same, but he hoped.

He changed into a white tank top and workout shorts. Stepping onto his treadmill, he thought of her last post, which was a headshot of her smiling wide. Her auburn pixie haircut had grown out and deep green speckled her upturned brown eyes. The caption read:

My wings are as wide as my smile. Happy anniversary to me being free!

The first time Lucio met Seth, he had a bad feeling about him, and then Muriel began to change. Her healthy pear frame became gaunt, and she tensed her jaw and wrung her hands when she thought no one was looking, but he noticed. He moved the incline of the treadmill up to its fullest, and sweat saturated his clothes. He wished he could’ve saved her, and at one point, he showed concern, but Muriel brushed it off. She had fallen under Seth’s spell, which she finally broke a year ago, but he wondered how long it would take to heal her wounds.

A half an hour later, the machine beeped, its motors wound down, and as the deck leveled, he grabbed a clean hand towel. He snapped a picture of himself and added it to his story with the caption:

Book writing intermission. Workout therapy.

After his shower, he dried off and inspected his forty-year-old body in the mirror. His athletic physique had remained the same due to his vigilance in working out. Grabbing his clippers, he trimmed the hair on his face and head. In his twenties, long, curly hair reached his shoulders, but he had shaved it at age thirty as a rite of passage out of his reckless days. The tattoos that adorned his body mostly celebrated his growth in life and his culture.

The front door opened, and Hollis entered the house. Hello.

Hey, he said, turning to see her enter the bathroom. How was your flight?

The usual—cramped seats. How’s your week been? I see you’ve been working on that little book of yours with all your papers around the house. Hollis’s petite build, long, brown hair, and mouselike face made him wonder if he chose her because she wouldn’t remind him at all of Muriel.

Could you stop calling it my little book? he said, wrapping a towel around his waist. But yes, I interviewed my Aunt Pam this morning.

I remember her being so country. One day, I’m going to get you out of this small town. Hollis scanned her eyes down his body. It’s been a while.

It has been a while. He watched her go into the bedroom, and his hormones made him follow.

The towel around his waist slid down to the floor. Ever since his first sexual experience, Lucio loved figuring out what each woman liked in the bedroom. Their pleasure made his grow, and their sounds egged him on. Muriel’s face popped into his head as he explored Hollis’s body.

Muriel and Lucio clicked together, like nature itself, their movements ruled by a deep connection and undying lust. Memories of her scent and smile intensified his arousal.

Hollis reached her peak, and Lucio climbed on top of her, watching the effects of the orgasm through her body. Their bodies connected,